


They Don't Believe In Us (Frerard)

by AstroAlien38



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Frerard, M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-05-29 02:03:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 140,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6354412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstroAlien38/pseuds/AstroAlien38
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard Way is your average outcast at school. He's bullied, has a couple of friends, and likes to keep to himself. Gerard is also socially awkward. It's just the start of a normal senior year of high school for Gerard. He expects it'll be exactly the same as all the previous years of school. His views on his senior year changes when he meets his new Chemistry teacher: Mr. Iero.</p><p>-</p><p>Frank Iero was lucky enough to be able to get a teaching job as soon as he got out of college for the dreaded subject of Chemistry teaching. He's happy with his life. His job is able to pay his bills for his small house, and he's also a guitarist and singer in his own band: The Cellabration. Frank is positive with teaching high school chemistry, that not a single student is going to give a crap about him. When he sees Gerard Way walk into his class that first day of school, he senses something special.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Start of it All

Gerard's POV

I stir to the sharp, annoying beeps on my alarm clock. Grumbling, I toss over and try to drown out the noise. My bed is warm and cozy and I have no intention to leave it. Stuffing my face into my pillow to try and block out the buzzing even more, I hear pounding footsteps approaching my door.

God please no.

"GERARD!" I hear my younger brother scream in frustration as he opens my bedroom door. And without my permission, too. How rude. Teenagers these days. So disrespectful. Wait what am I talking about I'm still a teenager. Obviously I'm mature for my age, though. Obviously.

Mikey jumps onto my bed, once again done without my permission, and in the process lands very uncomfortably on my legs. Which are tucked up halfway to my torso.

Mikey reaches over to my bedside table and shuts off the alarm, with a lot less anger than I thought he would; I was afraid he was going to break it and I'd be forced to buy a new one because Mikey would suck up to our mom saying he didn't do anything.

"Get up already, will you?" Mikey says with a sigh, obviously cooling down a great deal. I mumble something about it being my life and me being the eldest of the two, therefore he having no say in what I do.

"It's the first day of the school year, Gerard. Did you already forget?" Mikey sighs, again, knowing how much I'm not fond of school. Well, it's not school I'm not fond of, it's the students I'm not fond of.

News flash! I'm not exactly popular. I mean, yeah, I've got friends who I know for sure care about me, and vice versa. Jocks and girls that I like to so nicely call, well, bitches, take relish in bullying me. Whether it's physically beating the shit out of me or calling me names or just giving me death glares.

I groan. "Fine, fine. I'm getting up."

"Good. I'm gonna make sure you enjoy this year, okay? I want you to stop the sullen emo crap."

Wait, wasn't that a quote from Supernatural? Did Mikey seriously just quote Supernatural? He totally did. I remember Dean saying it. Wow I didn't know Mikey was capable of doing such a thing.

Mikey got up and left my room while I managed to stay laying in bed for another 5 minutes. When I get up, I go and take a quick 5 minute shower. After that I comb through my long, shaggy, dyed black hair then head back into my room to decide what to wear. Like it even matters. I decide on black skinny jeans that aren't tight, but aren't insanely baggy, either. To go along with it I put on a pale green Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt that has a heart made out of "S.P", the initials for Smashing Pumpkins. Duh. I would throw on my hoodie or something but since it's the middle of August, yes, I start school in August, I decide against it. I don't really want to become a sweating mess throughout the day. Our school isn't exactly air conditioned. Except for in the cafeteria and the science wings.

"Morning, Gee, sugar!" I hear my mom say as I come into the kitchen. I kinda cringe on the inside when she says that. I'm not fond of nicknames, even if they're harmless.

"Morning." I force a small smile to my mom as I sit down at the counter, cereal bowl, spoon, milk, and Lucky Charms already awaiting me.

"You excited for starting your big senior year of high school?!" My mom is way too excited for this. What's the big deal? It's just another year of learning and having to put up with stereotypical teenagers.

"It's just another year, Mom." I say, starting to eat my cereal.

"Just another year?! No, Gerard, it's your final year of high school! Please enjoy every last drop. You're growing up."

Ugh.

Growing up.

I don't like that.

"Okay fine I'll try." I sigh as I finish my cereal.

"I'll make sure he's happy, Mom. So will Ray and Lindsey and all the rest of our friends." This is the first thing Mikey has said since I got downstairs. He was too busy eating like, three bowls of cereal. Mikey may not look like it, but he eats a lot.

"It's 7:40, Gerard. We've gotta get to school." Mikey takes my empty bowl and puts our dishes into the sink as mom puts away the milk and cereal. I get up and put on my black high top converse. Mikey and I's backpacks are already prepared and sitting by the front door. I grab my backpack and keys off our key hooks then give Mom a quick hug before heading out the door, Mikey following right behind.

I unlock my car and Mikey slides into the passenger seat. Luckily, or rather, unluckily, we live only 5 minutes away from school. But that's driving time. Walking would maybe take 15 minutes? Yeah? I'm not sure. Mikey turns on the radio and Foo Fighters starts softly playing throughout the car. No way are we blasting music this early in the morning. It hurts my head.

-

School is starting. Yay. My schedule today, for those who want to know, is College Algebra, Study Hall (yes!), Chemistry, lunch, then that's followed by AP French and Senior Studio. To clarify, Senior Studio is an art class for select seniors and we all get to do awesome art projects. I think there are maybe 10 other students in the class. One of the first things I notice about my schedule is a name of a teacher I don't recognize. I know names of the teachers in our school pretty well.

'Iero, F.' - Chemistry, room 23.

Hm, I guess we've got a new Chemistry teacher. I hope this said teacher actually knows what to teach the students and actually helps us when we're confused. The past teacher, who retired, thank God, never did a good job. The highest grade a student got in that class was only ever a C. Luckily I can say I was one of those C students.

-

College Algebra passed by pretty fast. The teacher, Mr. Nugent, definitely knows what he's doing. Work gets done, things get learned, and the class is actually pretty easy. Mr. Nugent is a lenient teacher. Yay! Now onto Chemistry. Time to meet our new teacher. I'm not gonna lie, I was excited. I was praying to whatever God there may be that he wasn't one, a hardass, and two, maybe even liked the same things I liked. I did that for my French teacher when the one I had freshman year left. The time sophomore year came around and we got a new French teacher, it turns out she was a full out nerd. Just like me. I was so happy.

I'm walking down the hallway and reach the science wing when it hits me.

The air conditioning.

So fucking refreshing. Ah.

My shoulder is bumped from behind and I hear a slurred "Queer." shot in my direction then stifled laughter from a group of a big, giant bag of dicks. It doesn't really bother me. I think I am gay. I'm unsure, though. I feel confused about it a lot of the time.

I reach room 23 then open the door to walk into Chemistry class. That's when I see what I presume to be our new teacher leaning on the desk greeting the students.

Shit.

I'm gay.

His hair was long. Not, like, Axl Rose long. It just reached his shoulders and was slightly unkempt. It looked really good. It was obviously dyed black because his eyebrows were a lighter shade, brown. I haven't even gotten to the best part about his hair, though. He's got fringe. I know for a fact it's fringe because it's parted to the right side of his head and covers part of his forehead, and is shorter than the rest of his hair, indicating they're bangs.

He's noticeably got tattoos. That's another thing about my school. They're pretty lenient. Who cares about tattoos or piercings? It's a way to express yourself. As long as you know the subject you've got a degree in and know how to teach it well, you're hired. I like tattoos. Especially his. Well, the noticeable ones. I can tell there's more under his sleeves by the way some cut off suddenly and parts of hidden ones poke out under his sleeves and shirt collar. They really suit him. Mr. Iero's got on fitting work pants, but with black high top converse. Like me, nice. He's also got a Motorhead shirt on underneath a sportscoat. No way. Motorhead?! Awesome! This guy is so awesome already and I haven't even seen his teaching methods yet!

I raise my eyes to his face.

Our gazes meet.

Wow.

His eyes were gorgeous. They could tell so many stories without him even needing to speak. They light up when they meet with my own.

I feel my face grow hot.

Crap, am I blushing?

What the hell?

Why?

"Hey, nice Smashing Pumpkins shirt!" Obviously he's noticed my shirt.

"Wh- wait- oh, th- thanks." I stutter.

I'm not one for socializing.

"I like your shirt, too, by the way." I add after I recover from my stuttering fit.

"Ah, I approve of your music taste." He smiles at me.

A really genuine goes-to-your-eyes-smile.

That smile burns into my soul because, wow, rarely do people actually smile like that at me.

It was fucking perfect, I tell you!

Wow okay, Gerard, you're definitely gay.

But, come on, a teacher?!

Stop, Gerard!

"I'm Mr. Iero, as I guess you probably already know. My first name is Frank, fun fact. I decided that I'm gonna let students I really get along with call me by my first name. I dunno why- it's my first teaching job. I guess I'm trying to be lenient? 'Cool', even?" He says 'cool' with a lot of uncertainty in his voice and makes air quotes with those tattoo-covered hands- wait, okay, I sound like a teenage girl fantasizing about her favorite band member she'll never have a chance with, let alone ever meet. Okay, then.

I smile at his uncertainty, because I can relate completely in feeling awkward like that.

"I'm Gerard- I guess you can go ahead and call me Gerard though because, well, 'Mr. Way', that's my last name by the way, is really weird? Yeah don't do that. OKAY I think I'm gonna shut up now, I ramble when I'm nervous-"

"Hey, I'm exactly like that! We've got something else in common." Mr. Iero steps towards me, wow he's shorter than me, only by an inch or two, but still shorter, and pats my shoulder with one of those friendly pats then smiles at me, no teeth smile this time. I smile back, obviously. It's the appropriate thing to do.

"I don't have any seating chart so you can go ahead and choose wherever, kay?"

"Sounds good, cool."

I semi-awkwardly leave his side as he greets more students when I see my friend Andy sitting in the front row. Of course he's got a comic book out and reading it, X-Men in fact. Nice choice, Andy. I join him in the front row, the only other empty desk by him, which happens to be directly in front of Mr. Iero's desk. I'm perfectly fine with that. I concentrate better being in front.

"Hey, Andy." I say, feeling guilty in interrupting his comic book reading. I hate it when people interrupt my reading and I know he feels the same. He obviously looks slightly annoyed but he doesn't mind much because I'm his friend.

"Hey!" is all he gets to reply before the classroom is filled and class starts.

-

Class went by pretty fast again and I can say Mr. Iero did a perfect job teaching, even though we didn't do much due to it being the first day of school and all. I realized I kept losing focus in his class, though. I got too preoccupied in Mr. Iero's mannerisms and his slightly raspy voice. He probably smokes, that would be a good cause to why his voice sounds the way it does. We made eye contact a lot. At one point I could've sworn his cheeks turned a slight shade of pink. At the end of class he gave us all goodbyes and he smiled another one of those genuine smiles at me before shooting me a "see ya later, dude." I gave a slight awkward wave and he reciprocated, then my first Chemistry class with Mr. Iero was over. I gotta say, I could tell there was a lot of chemistry between us.

Wow.

What a pun. Heh.

-

The rest of the school day ended in a blur of hugging and chatting with friends I haven't seen in a couple weeks and receiving homework. Mikey and I drove home after stopping at a Starbucks to get some frappuccinos. How stereotypical white girl of us. Mom didn't get home till six, so I was able to get all my homework for the day done.

Mom noticed my happiness as soon as she walked in. Happiness? Me? I'm confusing myself. She made dinner within half an hour and that was that. Just typical "how was your day?" conversations throughout all of dinner. After that I went up to my room to listen to music while I drew some comic characters I was working on.

Oh yeah, I never mentioned I draw. Well, now you know.

I started a new sketch when I realized I wasn't sketching any comic book character.

I subconsciously drew my Chemistry teacher.

Oh God, Gerard, you've got a problem now don't you?

I decided I liked how it was turning out and finished up the drawing. Once I finished it I held it up for further scrutinization. Yep, I decided I did in fact like it. I put it away safely in my top right drawer of my desk then turned off my desk light.

It was 9:30 already. Wow. I was tired from the sudden change of sleeping in to getting up at 6:30 in the morning and decided now was a good time to go to bed.

To say I went to bed without thinking about Mr. Iero would be an outright lie on my part.


	2. Break Out of Your Shell, Angel

Frank's POV

My first day on the teaching job went by in such a whir. I realized how much coffee was a lifesaver for teachers. It keeps us running and gets us through the day dealing with all types of kids. Though really I'm still practically a kid, being only 22 and thankfully getting a job pretty much as soon as I got out of college.

When the first day was done and the last kids filed out of my classroom, I sat at my desk with a big sigh of relief.

My first day was done.

The first day really is always the hardest.

-

When I get to my house, it's maybe 6:30. I had stayed a bit after the school day ended to finalize things for the week's work. I had stopped to get some carry out on the way home, because no way was I making anything. I didn't really have the energy to. After getting home and eating my food, I processed all that happened today and remembered some annoying students that thought it was better to draw dicks on loose leaf then wad them up into balls (heh, balls) to throw across the classroom. Luckily, though, majority of the students knew what on earth they were doing and were very cool. Ugh, why wasn't I cool like that in high school?!

As I subconsciously turned on my small 24" flatscreen and sat on the couch, my mind made its way to a couple of students in particular. They were in my 2nd bell and were relatively quiet and kept to themselves, though they were noticeably friends. One of them had a Smashing Pumpkins shirt on, which, me being me, I noticed right away. Anything rock music is practically hardwired in my brain to notice even at a glance. The kid was shy; he reminded me a lot of myself, actually.

My train of thought got moved when I felt my phone buzz. I checked it and saw a text. It's from Evan. It was just details about an Epiphone guitar we were both expressing interest in.

Oh yeah, I never said this.

I'm in a band.

Guitarist.

Singer.

The Cellabration, we're called.

Though we do write original songs, we also do a fuck ton of covers. When we've got gigs, in local bars, we mainly do covers, but there are people that know we do original stuff, and they always ask us to play a few, so we do. We cover a lot of Misfits, Smashing Pumpkins, and The Offspring songs. If you couldn't tell, I have a special place for punk in my heart.

I reply to Evan that we should go check out the guitars to make sure they're definitely the type we like. A lot of the time, guitars aren't the cheapest things to buy.

In the background I hear the news talking about daily events, and, well, it being New Jersey, there's a lot of news about death, all happening in less than a week. I sigh. That's Jersey for ya. I look at the time, it's almost 9. Eh, I can get a bit of playing in. I head down to my small basement (small basement for a small house) that I made into the band room. I look through my collection to decide what guitar I feel like playing. After two minutes I decide on a cream-colored Stratocaster that I defaced with a '13' sticker. After plugging her in and quick tuning her, I do a little bit of composing.

After about an hour, I manage to get a bit more done lyric and sound-wise for a song the band's been stuck on for a while.

Shit, I'm tired. I'm not surprised. Adventure awaits for me, Bilbo Baggins. The adventure known as my official second day of teaching.

-

I wake up to my ipod-jacket alarm blasting "Superbeast" by none other than Rob Zombie. Nothing like some good ol' heavy metal to wake you up in the morning. I decide to listen to the song all the way through to help wake me up even further. After Zombie is over, I hit pause on my ipod, therefore shutting off the clock until the same time tomorrow. I go take a quick shower and decide to just let my hair air dry. It'll be practically fully dry by the time school starts at 8:10. I throw on some nicer black skinny jeans and a dark red plaid shirt, cuffing up the sleeves.

Coffee is brewing now, and I turn on the tv just to have some background noise. I throw on the same converse I wore yesterday and prepare my bag while I wait for the coffee to finish brewing. Ironically, just as I'm done packing everything and after I fetched my phone from charging in my bedroom, the coffee is ready.

Bless.

I pour a cup into an Avengers (no judging, superheroes are cool. Especially Marvel.) travel mug and add some sugar and french vanilla creamer before stirring then putting on the lid. By this time, it's 7:30. I look at the tv to see Good Morning America on talking about the latest celebrity gossip. Who cares. I turn off the tv then throw on my black leather jacket before heading out the door and locking it.

-

When I arrived at the school building I went straight to the teacher's lounge to drop off my lunch in the fridge. After closing the fridge I practically knock down a short dirty blonde-haired guy with glasses with a button up shirt and a black cardigan, accompanied by black skinny jeans and white/black Puma shoes. Something I noticed right off the bat is that I had to slightly look down at him. Oh my God. I'm taller than another adult man for once. Holy shit! Anyways, he looks close to my age, actually. Wow this school likes hiring young teachers. Do they want students to focus on young teachers instead of schoolwork or something?

"Oh, God, dude, I'm sorry!" I reach out for his arm to steady him a bit. He smiles in return of the gesture and nods.

"Yeah, hah, I wasn't expecting you to move with Sonic speed." Sonic the Hedgehog reference. I like him already.

"I'm Frank. Hi." I hold my hand out for a handshake, which he gives.

"Patrick Stump. ...Aren't you the new senior class Chem teacher?"

"Oh, yeah I am! What subject do you teach?" I ask, curiosity really striking me. What subject could this dude teach here? He looked like he belonged at a comic book shop (which I like to shop at).

"I teach music! Not the boring, let's play keyboard for a month and you won't be able to remember any of it the next week crap, though. In my class we actually learn how to write songs and make melodies and all that. And if there are any students that can play instruments or sing, sometimes those songs are performed. It's great. I love teaching it." He smiles a great big smile. I can tell just how passionate he is about music, and now that I look at him again, he definitely is the musician type. I bet he plays a couple instruments.

"Oh, that's so awesome! I actually play guitar. I have my own band and stuff.. we just play gigs every other weekend at bars and stuff. But I still enjoy every second of it." I smile to myself, remembering I made progress on the dreaded been-stuck-on-for-awhile-song the band has been working on.

"I play guitar, too! And drums. We should definitely jam together. And I'd love to see your band! Hey how about I give you my number? I can definitely see us being friends. ..Oh wow that sounded kind of creepy.. I didn't- you know what I mean. Ugh." We both laugh at that then exchange numbers before heading in our separate directions toward our classrooms.

-

Thankfully for coffee and Rob Zombie waking me the fuck up this morning, the day was not dreadful so far. First bell went by so fast. And that surprised me since it was lab bell, therefore being an hour and 40 minute long class. Obviously the classes are starting out by learning the periodic table. The 2nd bell class starts filing in. It's almost halfway full when I see rather tight skinny jean-clad legs with familiar looking black high top converse. Oh yeah. I'm wearing the same shoes. Duh. I look up the rest of the way to meet eyes with the Smashing Pumpkins shirt dude from yesterday. Oh yeah, Gerard, that's his name. His eyes are definitely striking. I think they're probably more striking because of his messy black hair that's worthy of running my fingers through- wait.

Did I just think that?

I could have sworn he slightly blushed. It was cute.

This is probably a perfect time to mention I'm not exactly straight. Not even bi.

I'm gay.

Gay as fuck.

I like some fine specimen of man.

I snap back into reality and smile then say hey, stuffing my hands in my front jean pockets and shuffling my foot on the floor a bit while leaning back onto the side of my desk.

"Hi." is all he replies, kinda quiet and breathy while continuing to head to his desk by Andy, who's already sitting with all his needed stuff out and reading his comics. He smiles slightly, cheeks still slightly pink, and looks down the rest of the way to the front row of desks. Since I was already looking in the slight downward direction I made eye contact with, well... I made eye contact with his butt.

I really don't want to sound creepy but, it was most definitely the nicest butt I have ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. The fact he was wearing rather tight skinny jeans was not helping.

Damn it, Frank!

Control yourself. You're an adult. You have good morals and are in charge, here.

Ah, fuck it. I'm still only 22 years old. That's not old. At all. I'm definitely less than 10 years older than Gerard.

No, Frank!

So much illegality!

Luckily Gerard reached his seat and sat down in it, starting to get out his things. I notice him pull out a folder, I presume to be for this class, and it's Avengers. Nice! So is my mug, which is sitting on my desk, empty already. I look back up to his face, with those hazel eyes that are somewhat burning into my soul, to realize that he's staring right back at me. We both widen our eyes a bit at that. I look away guiltily, definitely blushing this time.

I notice the class is almost filled, the students chatting away.

I, for some Godforsaken reason, look back toward Gerard. He's looking at me, and we hold our gaze. I smile, but my mouth decides to only work on one side so it becomes a smirk. He silently laughs a little to himself before concentrating his attention to his chemistry work.

I get distracted by a student, a girl, her name is Lynn, I remember, who asks to go the bathroom. I say yes, obviously. You gotta go when you gotta go.

The 80 minute bell went by in no time with me teaching the class about the periodic table and starting atomic structure of elements. I made eye contact with Gerard quite a lot. As hard as I tried to focus my attention elsewhere, my gaze always went back to Gerard. He had this aura about him. The class is empty now apart from, like, three students. Gerard being one of them. After debating between going over or not about a million times in my head in the period of less than a minute, I get up to go over to his desk. Ironically, something falls from his folder as soon as I reach his desk.

"Oops." he mumbles before starting to lean down to pick it up.

"Don't worry I've got it." The page is facedown so I don't know what the page actually contains until I pick it up and turn it over. It's a comic-style drawing. A damn good one at that. It's of a girl with short lavender hair.

"Shit, did you draw this?" I ask in disbelief. I look up at him wide-eyed, he's standing, with his backpack slung on one shoulder, now.

"Um... yeah. I like personifying different emotions and stuff in my head, and it comes out on paper like that...I guess." He's definitely shy about this. I was too when I was in high school and people found out I could play guitar. That was the only form of being paid attention to that I got that didn't involve bullying.

"It's so amazing, Gerard. Really, I see a future in this for you. Don't give it up, please?" I tilt my head to the right and out a little to get a look at his face, which is facing down with his unkempt black hair falling in his eyes. It's just Gerard and I in the class now. I have a free bell, and seniors have lunch now. After contemplating this, I decide the reach my hand up and move the hair out of his eyes and behind his ear, fingers skimming his cheek in the process. His hair is really long. Down to his shoulders almost, about the same length as mine. Obviously, he wasn't expecting that and flinched. Who wouldn't? He looks up at me, his head still tilted down toward the ground.

"Try and keep your hair out of your eyes. They're too full of life to hide away under hair to not be seen by others."

Fuck, that was cheesy. What am I doing?

He blushed more than I'd seen him blush yet. He really needed to stop doing things to my heart and my head. Every little thing he did was too precious for this world.

"Oh. Uhhh.. I-I-um- I'll.. try." He shuffled his right foot on the ground and held the folder with the drawing I had handed back to him close to his chest.

"Good. I don't want to see you waste away your high school years hiding under a shell like I did just a few short years ago. Okay?" At that he looked up, his hazel eyes wide.

"What do you mean?" Already, he was branching out of that shell. He held himself differently after I said that.

"I'm saying I was pretty much just like you in high school, and that ended, like, four or five years ago. I know what it's like to be shy and pretty much ignored in high school. Plus, with me being the height I am, it was like I wasn't even there sometimes." Thinking back on those days haunted me. I shivered and pushed the thought out of my head and focused back on Gerard.

We just looked at each other. It felt like forever that we did that, when in reality I bet it was maybe only a minute or two.

That's when he broke the comfortable silence. "I'm gonna seriously try, Mr. Iero. I wanna be happy. I wanna make the most out of my last year of high school. ...Um, so, thank you, I guess... for helping me realize that." Gerard sheepishly smiled at me. I counteracted by smiling at him. A full-on smile, you would call it. I was proud of him. Only my second day knowing Gerard and I felt such a deep connection with him.

"You're more than welcome. Oh, and seriously, call me Frank. ..Well, unless you're not comfortable with it.. so yeah, if it makes you kinda uncomfortable then please just stick with Mr. Iero, um, okay in that case do whatever floats your boat, I dunn-" I get cut off.

Gerard had pulled me into a hug. It was a nice hug. I was rambling so much I didn't notice he had set his folder down and tossed his backpack off his shoulder. His arms were around my shoulders, his face to my left. I hugged him back, my arms slinking around his back. I squeezed him.

"Thank you, Frank." He breathed.

I liked how my name sounded coming from him.

I pull away after one last squeeze and put my hands on his upper arms, rubbing them gently.

"Seriously, if you're ever stressed or get depressed or are struggling, absolutely anything, just come talk to me. I know what it's like to be in your position." I smile.

He smiles back. A really happy smile that shows off his teeth. They're really small. And adds even more to his adorable factors.

"I will. Without a doubt."

"Good. Now get to lunch! You've been here like, 10 minutes extra. You need food and I bet your friends are wondering where you even are." I pat his arms before letting go and smiling one last time.

"Now that you say that, yeah.. I am really hungry." He picks up his belongings and heads toward the door.

"Bye, Frank." He smiles genuinely once again as I say I'll see him tomorrow and smile in return.

He left the room with his head held high, hair out of his eyes, and a confidence in his stride.

-

The rest of the school day passed by and after school I chatted with Patrick about when we would jam together and when my band's next gig was. He said he'd definitely be going. I checked through the classwork of the day, giving completion grades. That takes about an hour and a half to do because of short opinionated essays I had them do. When I came across Gerard's paper I smiled. His handwriting was actually very elegant.

Once done with all of the grading, I went into my usual evening schedule. I ate, which I actually cooked tonight, watched tv for about half an hour, then went and worked more on my song. I worked a lot longer on my song tonight than I thought I did. Before I knew it, it was almost midnight. Oh God tomorrow morning is going to be dreadful. I make sure to set an extra heavy metal song for my alarm to wake me up tomorrow.

Then I went to bed. The awkward teenager with so much hidden potential named Gerard Way on my mind.


	3. A Not So Typical Day in the Uneventful Life of Gerard Way

Gerard's POV

It's Thursday evening now. Even though Mr. Ier- I mean, Frank, said yesterday he'd see me today, that didn't happen. I didn't have Chemistry class on Thursday. Our school has a weird schedule where we have certain classes 3 out of 4 different school days. They're 1 Day, 2 Day, 3 Day, and 4 Day, respectively. Weirdly enough, Thursday seemed to go on forever and ever. Luckily at the end of the day, though, I had long bell Senior Studio, so the ending of school came before I knew it. In art, we are assigned different projects, but it's not restricted to anything. We can use whatever subject matter we want, and usually whatever medium we want to make the project. I started doing a kind of comic strip on a big 20x16 inch paper personifying the four basic elements or whatever they're called: air, water, land, and fire.

I'm in my room, as expected for a loner like me. Some would say I need to get a life. I've seen the concerned looks my mom sometimes gives me. It's okay that she gives me those looks, though. She's just being the caring mother she's always been to Mikey and I. Our dad left us about a month after Mikey was born. I remember him sneaking into my room in the middle of the night and giving me a hug. I was confused. The next morning when I woke up, he was gone and so was every sign that he used to live there. I haven't seen or heard from the man since. He probably ran off with some chick from a bar he frequented or something. Anyways, I got off topic, I was drawing. As usual. I had my ipod dock playing some music faintly in the background. The new Muse song, Dead Inside, was currently playing.

The comic characters I was working on tonight were Batman and Judge Dredd, except they were both female. I love the whole strong female aspect. It's what I've always found girls to be, even if some were rude to me. The female population kinda fascinated me, even though I wasn't attracted to them. I was debating making a crossover between the characters, in the end deciding that I would, when Mikey called up to me saying that dinner was ready and we were all going to watch the new episode of iZombie we missed on Tuesday. I finished up some details on Clara Kent's hair before turning off my desk light and turning off my ipod, which had started playing Don't Fear (The Reaper) by Blue Oyster Cult and headed downstairs.

All three of us sat and ate some spaghetti my mom cooked up and sat in front of the tv, Mikey and I on the couch, Mom on the recliner, and watched the tv. Throughout the 40-something minutes of the episode Mikey was texting an awful lot. I managed to get a sneaky glance at his phone to see "Kristin :)" as the I.D. Okay, I wasn't going to ask. Since I was good with names, it sounded familiar. I think it was a girl in Mikey's grade.

Well, my night was uneventful, really. After we all finished, Mom went to do some online shopping while Mikey and I both went our separate ways to our rooms for the rest of the night. I laid on my bed and read some of the newest Never Boy issue when Andy texted me, asking if there was any homework in the few classes we shared. I told him we had a quick 5 problem worksheet in Chemistry (which he forgot about) and some Algebra homework (which he apparently had finished during study hall).

And this is what a typical day is like in the uneventful life of the emo hermit loser Gerard Way.

-

Today is 4 Day, and that means no art class. Damn. I can't be deprived of doing art like this.

It also means that I don't have math class today, which means Chemistry is first bell. I'm always the first kid in class in the morning because I don't feel like dealing with others walking at a pace slower than a snail and taking up the entire hallway in one line so people have to push their way through.

I walk into Chemistry class, unsurprisingly being the first student there, and see Frank.

My heart leaps a bit.

Well that confuses me.

There is no way in hell I could like him like that.

Anyways, I do a double take when I see him. His back is facing me and he's taking off a leather jacket, which looked especially nice on him. The reason I did a double take is because today he's wearing a t-shirt. So therefore I'm seeing more tattoos.

Basically, I'm in awe.

I've noticed I have a fascination with tattoos.

Which is really weird to me because I'm deathly afraid of needles.

Mr. Iero is wearing tighter skinny jeans than usual, and is wearing all black Vans today instead of Converse. But who cares about his shoes when his jeans were actually very fitting today? His legs were really nice. He had to have been doing some form of "exercise" to give his calves the form they had.

His butt was toned, too. Due to whatever extracurricular he did in his life, as well, I bet.

Oh God, what if it was a boyfriend or girlfriend? ... I bet he wasn't even gay.

Not with that many tattoos. ....Right?

Why am I even thinking this?

He's my teacher, for God's sake.

"Oh, hey, Gerard." He had turned around slightly. That distracted me from my thoughts.

I blushed and shyly said hi. I know for a fact he saw me looking at his butt, because my eyes had been in that general direction when I zoned out.

He smirked to himself.

See? I said he noticed.

"Maybe I shouldn't have worn such fitting jeans, today, huh?" Frank giggled slightly when I blushed even further and sank my head so my hair covered my eyes to try to hide it. He stepped closer to me, where I had remained near the door since I stepped in the classroom.

He stopped in his tracks when I spoke up, with a bit of confidence to my shock.

"Maybe you should.. I do want to be able to focus in this class, after all."

Where the fuck did that come from, Gerard?

I had been reading some fanfiction.. it wasn't exactly innocent so I put the blame on that. I mentally facepalm, but keep my slight confident stature. I was still looking at the ground when I said that. I slowly raised my face to look at Frank. He was taken aback, of course. There was a glint of surprise in his greenish eyes as he stands up a little bit straighter. His lips part slightly with the corners turning up in a small grin.

"To be honest, I could say the same thing to you." Frank gestures to my pants by nodding his head to me, putting his hands in his back pockets.

I look down at myself quickly and notice I'm wearing what is probably the tightest jeans I own; they're slightly shiny and black (the pants are accompanied with a classic Rolling Stones baseball tee). When I look back up he's looking at me with slightly hungry eyes that could kill a fangirl. It gives me chills up my spine and I let a low gasp out before I start shaking my head furiously and start blushing like crazy. "Oh. Uh, I-I- hmm. Oh God. Sh-"

He seemed to realize what exactly just happened between us and walks towards me and stops in front of me to my left as he says, "Hey, I'm sorry. I went too far, okay? I'm the responsible adult. I should know what's appropriate and what's not and all that. Really, I am sorry. I have no idea what took over me." He pats my left arm.

When he mentions being the responsible adult, it strikes a question in me, so I ask it.

"How old are you then, 'responsible adult'?" Air-quoting around "responsible adult.

"Oh, I'm only 22. Yeah, very responsible, I know." He smiles a little. After a little silence, he adds, "By the way, I once again approve of your shirt." Frank points to my Rolling Stones shirt.

"Hah, you'd probably approve of all my shirts, then, if I have to be honest."

"You're probably right. Is, like, over 50% of your clothing items band merch?"

I nod, because, well, it's really all I ever wear.

"Trust me when I say I can completely relate. I even wear band shirts to sleep in. It's insane." He shakes his head at the thought of all his merchandise that occupies his closet, and probably his dresser, too.

"Oh my God, same!" I smile widely. It's insane how similar Frank and I are, so far. I wonder what else we have in common.

Frank smiles just as widely in return. It's gorgeous and instantly makes my day 10 times better.

"Anyways, aren't you kind of early to class?" His smile falters to questioning stance.

Once again, I blush. Frank manages to get me to do that a lot.

"I always arrive early to the first bell. I don't wanna deal with slow sleep-ridden teenagers."

"Oh my God you sound exactly like me." That's the last thing Frank says before a group of asshats walk into the class. I'm looking at Frank when I turn my head to look behind me and notice a guy with long, greasy looking dark hair staring at me, I could have sworn he was staring at my butt, he bit his lip and looked at me almost like Frank did not 5 minutes prior. Except this made me uncomfortable. I choose to ignore it.

"Hey, Bert did you see those chicks that smiled at us on the way up here? I swear one totally gave me the "let's hang out" look." One of the dudes says to the guy, who I now presume to be Bert. More students are filing into the classroom, which is letting Frank and I know that it's 8:00 and the school day officially starts in a few minutes.

"Well, I'll leave you to your desk, then, Gerard." Frank puts his hand on my left shoulder and gives it a small squeeze and we both share a small smile before carrying on doing our own things to prepare for the day. One of my best friends, Lindsey, comes in with a friend of hers that I don't really know. She would have sat by me in the class but she got here not exactly early on the first day and had to choose from a few select empty seats near the back. She notices Frank and I sharing a glance at one another and when she gets by me she raises her eyebrows with a knowing look on her face.

"Oh, boy, I see something goin' on here.." before she kneels by me and elbows me. I guiltily look away from her.

"Please, would you clarify, Lyns, for I have not the slightest idea what you're talking about." I look to her now with a smugness about me.

"Don't you dare play that card with me, Gee. I'm interrogating you at lunch!" She stands without breaking eye contact with me. I try my best to hold the staring contest between before I give up with a sigh and put my head in my arms on the desk.

"HAH! See I'm already onto something." She jumps a little bit and smiles hugely, knowing she's already winning.

"Byeeeeee, Lindsey." I say, muffled by my arms, telling her I'm done with the conversation.

"Mhmmm." She's obviously satisfied as I notice her presence leave my side.

I'm not looking forward to lunch today.

-

It's lunch now.

I was scared.

Of Lindsey.

She could be manipulative.

I cautiously approach the lunch table and notice she isn't there. ...yet.

It's just Ray, Mikey, and Andy on the side of the table with their backs facing me and Pete, Dallon, and Hayley on the other side.

I sit on the end next to Ray and pull out my lunch, which is a Nutella and peanut butter sandwich (don't judge, it's not that bad) and a banana with a fruit snack. Then I've also got my water bottle.

That's when the dreaded moment comes to the table.

Lindsey gladly sits down and not so discreetly questions, "So, Mr. Iero."

I raise my eyes with my head still down and just shrug.

"What about him?" I've gotta play this as cool as I can.

I'll probably fail.

Everybody at the table decides to tone into the conversation. Great.

"He's pretty chill. I like him." Dallon chimes in. He's got a different bell than Lindsey, Andy, and I, but still has Frank as his teacher for Chemistry.

"He's really pretty..." Hayley pipes up, obviously afraid to admit it.

"Oh I know." Lindsey adds, never taking her questioning eyes off of me. I just blush some while looking at my hand in my lap as I take a bite of my sandwich.

"He looked at you a lot in class today, Gee, I thought I'd tell you." I look up at that, slightly wide-eyed.

I was about to open my mouth to say something when Andy said, "Yeah I actually noticed that too. ...But don't worry about people getting suspicious, well, other than us, because he did hide it pretty well." I just look at Andy over Ray's fro and Mikey with a look of disbelief.

Now everybody is curious and the questions start.

"Gerard, WHAT!?" -obviously from Mikey.

"Oh my God, Gerard I'm dying inside this is totally what I think it is this is excellent. My life is complete now. I can die happy." -thanks Pete.

"I am jealous, Gerard. So freaking jealous." -Hayley seriously do not start.

"Okay, yeah, I'm speechless." -of course Ray wouldn't have much input.

"GerARD I'M FREAKING OUT." -Mikey tone it down you're scaring me and people near our table are starting to look.

"Andy we gotta keep watch during Chem class from now on." Lindsey directs this to Andy, and he nods, agreeing.

And now I chime in, seeing I haven't exactly spoken up in a little bit. "Oh my God there's nothing please stop I swe-" but God would have it that the man in conversation would find his way into the cafeteria and Lindsey just had to point it out.

"Oh my, would you look who it is." I kick Lindsey under the table earning a death glare, but that death glare leaves as soon as it came when she decides to smirk at me instead. Confused, I turn to look over my shoulder, done with my sandwich and moving onto my banana at this time, and I see him.

His back was facing me, due to him paying for his food.

"He looked at you, Geeeeee." Pete just had to add. Mikey hit him.

"Stop! That's my brother! And a teacher! No! Bad Pete!"

But I didn't care about any of that because I turned back around to glance at Frank one last time before he left. When he turned around he immediately looked at me, knowing where I was located. My eyes widened a little with shock and my cheeks grow hot. Except I don't break eye contact with him. He noticeably smiled at me and gave a small wave, which I shyly returned and I saw him silently laugh to himself, some hair from behind his ears falling in his face.

He looked really handsome like that.

Frank had reached the entrance to the cafeteria now, me (creepily?) watching him the whole time when he chanced a glance at me. Frank then left the cafeteria and my friends blew up.

It was just a jumble of "OH MY GOD"s and "you totally have a thing" as I thought about him to myself, in my own little world. I ate my banana in peace until Lindsey happened.

"You better practice with that banana." I nearly choked and was having a coughing fit while the rest of the table burst into joking laughter.

"I hate you guys."

"Honey you really don't." Lindsey was being rather cocky today.

"Yeah, come on, you do love us." Ray chimed in. He smiled and patted my back. Ray was definitely the nicest and most caring of us all.

"Ugh fine you're right." I gave up finally and let my friends fantasize about what would happen between Frank and I. Me secretly enjoying them myself, smiling.

Maybe I did like my Chemistry teacher after all.


	4. Tripping Over Gerard Way Both Literally and Emotionally

Frank’s POV

It’s the middle of September now. I’ve officially been teaching at Belleville for one month exactly. At first, it was really rough, but I’m starting to really get the hang of things. Most of the students are doing pretty well, too. All As and Bs with an occasional C grade. They’re not afraid to come up to me and ask for help whenever they need it, which is something I guess they all lacked with what I’ve heard about the previous Chemistry teacher.

Speaking of chemistry.

Gerard and I have actually grown rather close. I’ve learned that he has an entire comic that he wrote and drew completely on his own. It was called The Umbrella Brigade, or something of the sort. Being the closet nerd I am, I tried to coolly ask if he’d let me check it out. But I got a bit too excited by it to remain “cool”.

I did not keep calm and nor did I carry on.

Gerard was really shy about letting me see it, getting all flustered and red in the face while stuttering like a broken record. Until, which this surprised me, he found his voice and said he’d make a copy of it as soon as he could and give it to me. He’s got so much potential built up within him and I want to show him that he just has to let it out for the world to see.

My heart always did a tiny leap whenever I saw him; whether it was when he walked into class, if we saw each other in the cafeteria with his friends giving me looks that was like they knew something that made me uncomfortable, or when we occasionally passed each other in the hallways.

I sometimes thought I was developing a crush on my student, but I never let myself too much into the thought of the matter.

I also told him that I play guitar on the side. He was amazed by it, saying that he could kind of play, since Mikey was learning bass and sometimes had to practice with a guitar instead, so he picked up some things here and there on guitar just by watching Mikey practice sometimes. Though he seemed uncertain when he said this, he wanted to see me play sometime. That was definitely going to happen, I just didn’t know when.

Then today I remembered that The Cellabration’s next gig is this weekend. The bar is an all ages thing, it’s pretty chill. I wonder if Gerard would be interested…

Anyways, Patrick has been jamming out with me almost every weekend since we became friends, and really, he’s an honorary member of the band. He fills in whenever an actual band member is sick. Which I find great, because of my weak immune system, I could have a gig one night and come down with an illness a mere few hours before the show and it being too late to cancel because of the bar’s policies.

-

School has ended for the day, so I’m packed after posting homework online (the school has cheap ass computers for the students) and doing some grading for the test on Chemical Bonding. After making sure everything’s in order, I turn off the lights and lock the classroom and head off to my car, texting Patrick about practice tomorrow since our drummer has had stomachaches for the past couple days.

I was one of the teachers that parked in the front lot, so I walked out the front and was minding my own business when I almost tripped.

Over a person.

But not just any person.

I almost tripped over Gerard Way.

“Oh, shit!” I exclaim as I do my best to move out of the way, almost dropping my phone and travel mug. Gerard ducked to the left as I moved to the right, him letting out a tiny gasp of shock. I caught my footing without falling or anything; God was on my side today. A lot of the time I could be rather klutzy. Once Gerard and I made eye contact, we realized it was each other we had both encountered, and started laughing at the incident that just happened.

Gerard’s eyes lit up and his smile was huge, with an adorable laugh escaping his pink lips.

God, he was beautiful.

I hated that he sometimes got bullied. I’d sometimes be in earshot of jocks throwing slurs at him, and I’d tell them off with a warning.

I think I’m starting to finally allow myself to be okay with liking him more than a friend.

Our laughter died down as we just continued to look at each other. To me, it was a rather comfortable silence, us just taking in each other’s much wanted presence. I decided to break our silence by saying sorry for not watching where the heck I was going.

“It’s fine, Frank, really. Honestly, it was probably the most eventful thing to happen to me today.” Gerard smiled smally, shrugging to himself.

“Do you mind?” I ask, stepping forward slightly and motioning to sit down next to him on the steps leading up to the school building.

After a second of processing what I meant, he nodded, kind of blushing. Which made me blush.

I sit down next to him and notice he’s drawing, which I’m not surprised by.

“Beautiful.” I state after just staring at his art for a minute or two.  
Gerard shakes his head, still blushing, “Nah.. not this crap. Van Gogh’s art is beautiful.”

Not realizing what I’m doing I take his right hand with my left and squeeze it tightly, “You need to stop being so negative about yourself, seriously!” I look at him somewhat frantically with wide eyes.

He doesn’t do anything, he just looks at my hand on his. That’s when I realize what I was doing, and I slowly remove my hand from his and place it on my lap.  
“Sorry. I just get really enthusiastic about art.. even though I can’t draw to save my life. It just fascinates me. Especially comics. Because comics are great and got me through a lot of my childhood…” I drift off looking down at my lap.  
Gerard nods, accepting my apology and obviously relating to me perfectly once again, with art.

I lift my head to look at him after a short silence, him looking at me already.  
“What are still doing here, anyways?” I’m seriously so confused as to why he’s still here. I never see him out here after school.

“Oh. My car is in the repair shop and my mom said she was going to pick me and Mikey up. Mikey’s not out here yet though because he needed to go talk to a teacher about something.” I’m the one to nod this time, getting the answer I was seeking.

My phone buzzes, it was Patrick.

Patrick: okay so I presume we’ll all come to your house tomorrow at normal time to practice?

Me: yep! 6:00 as always. I’m ordering us a lot pizza we were starving after rehearsal last time.

Patrick: yessssssssss! Pizza!

Me: pIzZzZzZaAaAaA *insert pizza slice emoji here* see ya tomorrow!

Patrick: definitely! And pizza. I can’t wait for my date with pizza. Pizza is life.

Clearly our conversations are so adult and mature. Very professional.

Gerard speaks up. “Okay I’m sorry but that whole time you were texting I was being nosy and read the whole conversation over your shoulder.” I look up and his face is indeed a bit closer to mine than usual, indicating he definitely was being nosy. I smirk.

“Teenagers don’t know how to keep their damn noses out of other people’s business these days.” I scold him playfully, shaking my head, but with a smile.

Gerard looks down at his sketchbook in his lap, embarrassed.

“Practice?” He asks, going slightly off topic, but not really.

“Oh! For my band. Our drummer is sick and Patrick, well, you know him as Mr. Stump. The music teacher? Patrick’s filling in for a gig I’ve got this weekend because he can play. We’ve been jamming out together for the past month and, yeah, he’s like an honorary band member, it’s great. We’re just having practice tomorrow, that’s what we were texting about, Mr. Nosy.”

I soon as I say that nickname I cringe to myself and made a noticeable face of confusion at myself, which Gerard laughed at, snapping me back into reality.

“You’ve got a gig?” He asked, genuinely interested, with what I thought was a gleam of hope in his eyes.

“Hah, yeah, actually it’s this weekend, Saturday night at the one all ages bar place across from the antique record store?” Jersey is a small place, Gerard’s gonna know exactly what place I’m talking about, even though the name of the bar slipped my mind at the moment.

“Yeah, I know what you’re talking about! Mikey and some friends go a lot of the time. I’ve gone occasionally, but.. you know me, I’m a stay-in-my-room type of person…” he trails off, thinking.

“I’d like it if you come on Saturday… if you want to, that is.” I look down kind of embarrassed to ask him, I don’t know why.

There’s a small silence before I see his hand in the corner of my eye, it reaching to my hand, placing his smooth, pale hand on top of my calloused, tattooed one. He puts his fingers in between mine before saying, “You know I’d love it with all of my being to see you perform.”

I move my hand so my palm is on his and I lace my fingers through his as I look at him with a smile. He’s already smiling one of his rare, toothy smiles at me that I love so much, and my heart leaps.

“Our gig starts at 9:30, Gerard. See if your friends were already planning on going. I don’t want you to be awkwardly by yourself, especially not there on a Saturday night. There can actually be some skep dudes.” Wow I just said ‘skep’. Mental facepalm right now. “And thank you again, really.” I look down at our hands, squeezing his slightly, him squeezing mine right back. Our hands seem to fit perfectly together.

There was a break before he replied, he was looking down at our hands, too. “I’m glad you invited me. And I can guarantee you my friends are going. They go every weekend during the fall. That’s when the better bands always play, they tell me.” He looks up at me and smirks. “So don’t let me down, Mr. Iero, your band is apparently one of the better ones.” We share a laugh before we hear Mikey’s and Lindsey’s voices faintly down near the bottom of the school’s other entrance, approaching the front. I look at Gerard and squeeze his hand once more, us unwillingly letting go. I stand up and am not expecting Gerard to do the same. I look down at him, I’m standing one step higher than he is.

“Thank you for being a friend to me and not just a teacher. I’ve needed it for a while.” He smiles a somewhat sad, but thankful, nonetheless, smile at me.

“I feel like we were friends from the start, if I’ve got to be honest.” He nods in agreement before stepping closer to me and hugging me, arms around my waist and his face on my chest. I hug him back resting my head on top of his and putting my arms around the sides of his shoulders. Our hug is a tight hug, though brief, because of Mikey and Lindsey getting closer to us. I hear their voices stop suddenly though as I pull apart from Gerard after giving him a squeeze.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Oh and don’t forget about the homework. It should be really easy though.” Then I walk down the remainder of the steps and pass Mikey and Lindsey, Mikey was staring and Lindsey was smirking at me. I stop in my tracks for a brief second before awkwardly smiling and waving at them then cross the drive to go to my car. I hear a faint female voice say, “Soooo Gerard, tell me everything.” And I can’t help to think she was talking about me.

-

It’s Thursday after school and the band, with Patrick in place, was all set up at my house downstairs in the makeshift band room. I had managed to finish that song we’ve been impossibly stuck on; which I titled Stage 4 Fear of Trying.

We had all the other songs nailed down and were focusing on practicing this one more. It took us all around an hour to feel confident with our playing of it, so we added it to the place we found fitting on the set list and played through the entire thing.

It was around 10 at night when we finished, and we were starving, as I expected. I had ordered two large pizzas and 1 small one, asking to have them deliver it at 10:30, knowing we’d all eat every last bit of it. So we chatted about random things like new bands we were listening to and if we were watching any tv shows while we waited the half hour before the pizza arrived.

And I was right. We did eat every last bit of the pizza. I went to bed stuffed knowing tomorrow morning would be difficult to wake up.

I fell asleep easily with peaceful dreams and a smile on my face.


	5. This Never Meant Nothing To Ya

Gerard’s POV

I awake 5 minutes before my alarm goes off this morning. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m getting excited for tomorrow. It’s been awhile since I’ve gone out with my friends to the bar.  
That sounded really bad.

But it’s not one of those get-fake-IDs-just-to-get-in-and-get-wasted bars.

I get up out of my bed rather easily and turn off the alarm before it has a chance to go off and change into my only other pair of rather tight bluish/black skinny jeans and a black Iron Maiden shirt, throwing on a black hoodie over that. I got some new shoes last night, not gym shoes surprisingly, some black combat boots that are downstairs. I’m excited to wear those today.

When I get downstairs and reach the kitchen to get some coffee, my mom is of course already occupying it and is a bit taken aback. She wasn’t expecting me to be downstairs in at least 15 minutes.

“Oh! Well someone’s up earlier than I was anticipating.” My mom states as I reach for my Iron Man mug to fill with coffee and add some hazelnut creamer and sugar to it.

“I woke up before my alarm, Mom, I just decided I might as well get up.” I shrug, mixing my coffee and joining her at the table where she’s got cereal out. She just watched me.

“Goodness sake, Mom, I’m just anxious for some reason.” I narrow my eyes at her as I pour cereal and milk into my bowl.

Dubstep erupts from upstairs, which causes me to miss the bowl a bit as I poor my milk.

Well, Mikey is up.

“FUCK!” We hear him yell as he scurries out of his bed to turn off the loud noise.

My mom and I look at each other wide-eyed for a second before breaking out into laughter. This was definitely unlike our normal mornings.

“Was that the dubstep that was in The Walking Dead in an episode this season?” I question Mikey once he gets downstairs, because I’m genuinely curious.

“… No… well.. fine, yes, okay.” Mikey sighs, choosing defeat as he walked away, to get some poptarts because he wasn’t in a cereal mood.

“Gee are you going to wear your boots to school?” Mom randomly asked, I assume she noticed I didn’t have my converse on like I usually do. I smile wide and nod.

-

I’ve got Chemistry first today so I head up to Frank’s classroom. He might not even be here yet, seeing that sometimes I’ve gotten to his class before him, so I’d have to wait by the door in the hallway. I turn the corner to the science wing that Frank’s room is in and see him at his door, unlocking it, hearing faint voices behind me not really paying mind to it. I guess Frank sees me walking towards him from the corner of his eye because he looks up and we make eye contact. Immediately his eyes light up, and I feel mine do the same, a smile growing on my face. I think I hear someone call out to me from behind but I’m not paying attention. Obviously Frank is occupying all my attention span. His smile falters though and he looks behind me. Then I discover why.

“Ooh look at that ass.” I hear a kind of croaky voice say. Before I can turn my head to see who it is, that same group of guys I noticed at the beginning of the school year were walking past me when I feel my butt get slapped, rather hard.

I stop walking, not know what else to do since I’ve never gone through something like this at all. I turn my head, though, to see who did such a thing.

It was that guy that I’ve caught staring at me a couple of times.

Bert.

He’s walking backwards, facing me, when he says, “You keep tempting me with those tight jeans showing off that pretty ass of yours. I wouldn’t mind having some of it.” Then he bites his bottom lip and winks at me, titling his head back, his friends sniggering. Bert starts to turn around when a harsh, “MCCRACKEN.”

Bert flinches.

I guess that’s his last name.

The voice sounds familiar.

Frank comes into my view now, approaching the group of us.

Frank.

I forgot he was there.

He witnessed that whole thing.

Oh my God.

My face flushes.

Some of Bert’s friends try to scatter, but Frank doesn’t let that happen, threatening them.

“What the hell was that? Explain. Right now.” Frank is staring them all down, deadly. But the most deathly towards Bert.

“Mr. Iero, you know guys, especially teenage ones, can’t contain themselves. That’s why girls should take precaution in what they wear. In this case, Gerard here, with his pants.” Bert pipes up, gesturing to me in my awkward, uncomfortable stance.

“No, Bert, I don’t know that. Because, guess what? Control can most easily be learned. It’s quite simply the easiest thing in the world to do, being respectful towards others. You can’t say people can’t express themselves by what they’re wearing because it’ll instantly make you need to get off. It’s disgusting and disrespectful. You need to apologize now.” Frank is so confident in himself right now it makes him stand taller, making me feel like he’s taller than me. He’s definitely taller than Bert right now, who’s slouching and looking somewhat afraid. After just staring at each other, unspoken death threats between them, Bert speaks up, standing straighter and curling his lip with a smug look washing over his face.

“I’ve seen the way you look at him. Don’t say you wouldn’t want a piece of him, either.” Then Bert gives Frank the biggest smirk I’ve ever seen a person give. Anger flashes in Frank’s eyes as he pulls his lips into his mouth and furrows his eyebrows, clenching his fists so tight his knuckles go white.

After some silence, Frank practically bellows, “Principal’s office. All of you. Now.” He looks at all of us, stopping for longer at my gaze than the 5 other boys in the hall. The group looks down in defeat as they turn around to go to receive their punishment, me starting to follow.

“Not you, Gerard.” Frank says, I stop and look over my shoulder at him. Frank looks emotionally and physically worn. I frown at him, with a sad look in my eyes as I start to fully turn around to face him.  
“Mhm that’s what I thought.” I heard a mumble from behind me followed by more sniggers, the croaky voice I’ve now embedded in my brain to know as the greasy-haired, unkempt Bert McCracken.

“Fuck this.” I hear Frank mumble only loud enough for me to hear. “Will you ever learn to stop? That’s it, okay, I’m leading you all to the Principal’s office. I have no trust in any of you whatsoever.” Frank passes with an angry huff as he goes to lead them all to their misery.

Frank looks back over his shoulder at me, giving me a look that says he’ll be right back.

-

He’s back about 15 minutes later. At that time school had already started, luckily Frank already unlocked his classroom so everybody was waiting in there.

He speaks up over the talking of the class once he gets to his usual spot of leaning into the side of his desk.

“Okay, everybody, it’s just gonna be a study hall today. I had to take some of your,” he pauses briefly before continuing, “classmates, to the office.”

A curious student, a short blonde girl, speaks up, “What happened?”

Frank grimaces slightly, clearly a lot more pissed off than I thought he was.

“To put it lightly, some bullying.” Frank looks to me after he says that.  
“So yeah, just do whatever. Listen to music with your earbuds, watch YouTube, talk, I dunno.”

Frank just plops in his seat and looks at me again before setting his head on his desk, closing his eyes.

-

Class ended, and it looked like Frank had fallen asleep from exhaustion, because he hadn’t moved at all. I’m the last one in the class, after Lindsey patted me on my back as she passed me and gave me a wink. I blushed from embarrassment.

I had study hall next so I decided to stay behind.  
I approached Frank.  
He was definitely sleeping. His upper body steadily rising and falling with each breath he took.

Frank was smiling in his sleep. He looked adorable. I wonder what he was dreaming about.

I decided to wake him up, much to my dismay. Gently, I shook his shoulder a bit. Frank grumbled when he woke, opening his one eye on the side of his face that was buried in his arms and looking at me. Frank grinned and sat up, rubbing his face, ridding the sleep from his eyes. That smile didn’t last long, because his mind was set on talking to me about what happened before school started.

“Gerard, has this happened before?” He asked slowly, a look of concern on his face.

I look down at my feet and fold my arms across my stomach. I shake my head. He noticeably loosens up.

“Not to that extreme, though..” I added, which causes Frank to tense up again.

He slowly gets to his feet and walks to me as he asks, “What do you mean by that, exactly?” I continue to look down.

“Please, Gerard.” He adds as he is now standing directly in front me and puts his hands on my upper arms and starts tracing small circles with his thumbs. I look up, my eyes starting to tear up, though I don’t notice that because he’s looking at me with a look that breaks me. That’s when tears start slowly falling down my face and I tell Frank, stuttering.

“H-he-he’s.. look-looked at m-me like I’m so-some o-o-object to just, f-f-fu-uck.. mo-more than once.” The tears are steadily falling from my face now, once I realize what exactly Bert has been doing, which scares me now.  
“Shhh.” Frank moves his hands to my face, both a worried and angered look in his eyes, as he wipes the tears from my now flushed face and pulls me into a hug, which I more than gladly accept. My arms wrap around his neck, me burying my face into his right side of the crook of his neck, tears falling from my face again. Frank put his arms around my lower back and holds me tight. We just stand there for what was probably 3 minutes.

Frank moved his right hand from my back to my head and strokes my head in a calming matter as he continues to soothe me. I’ve calmed down a great deal by now, so I pull away. But I keep my arms around his neck. Him keeping his arms around me as well.

“Why didn’t you come to me as soon as this first happened? I told you that you could come to me about absolutely anything.” He says this as he starts to stroke the side of my head now.

“I never thought anything of it. I let it slip over my head whenever it happened.” I say in a deep, almost-whisper of a voice. I look down, forgetting we’re relatively close to one another from still having not moved from our hugging stance. My feet are in between Frank’s. He looks down too.

“Nice boots.” He simply states, trying to lighten the mood. He’s not stroking my head anymore, and instead moved his hand to my waist. I laugh lightly, remembering I was wearing these awesome things.  
“Thanks.” I say, it coming out slightly breathy, and I smile. I feel Frank’s hand that’s on my lower back start rubbing up and down, and it really calms me. I look up to him, once again forgetting how close we are. I’m slightly taken aback.  
Frank’s looking at me kindly with the eyes that are like sunshine going through a glass of whiskey, and is smiling a tiny smile with one side of his mouth. I move my arms so I’m interlocking my fingers at the back of his neck. My heart is pounding more than usual and I feel tingly. Frank stops rubbing my back as the look on his small face becomes calmer.

I look back and forth between his eyes, him doing the same, as I lick my drying lips. Then I glance at his lips, their pale pink color and curves drawing my attention for a quick second.

Frank places his other hand that’s on my back onto my other hip as I step closer to him, only centimeters separating our bodies now. I feel my heart skip a fair amount of beats and my breathing quicken and worry briefly I may collapse from a sudden heart attack. Frank licks his lips quickly and then we look into each other’s eyes, both giving looks of what we’re both thinking at that exact moment. I take a sharp intake of breath before leaning to his beautiful face.

Our lips interlock warily as we close the gap between us and I feel my knees go weak.

My heart going millions of miles an hour and my head racing with thoughts of Frank.


	6. A Kiss and I Will Surrender

Frank's POV

My heart was pumping so incredibly fast.

I had good reasons for that.

I was the closest I ever had been to the beautiful boy known as Gerard Way.

Our lips were interlocked and our bodies pressed close together.

We fit together.

Our slight differences in height made it easy for us to fill every curve and natural shape of our bodies so there was nothing in between us.

I felt light-headed, like an 11 year old boy kissing his first crush, not knowing what else to do.

I had kissed a fair amount of people in my time, but it had been awhile since I got to experience the feeling. It felt new and strange to me, and I liked it- no, I loved it.

Because it was who I was kissing that made it all the better.

I moved my hands from Gerard’s hips to wrap around his lower back to pull him in even more, if that was even possible. Gerard, in return, wrapped his arms, that were draped on my shoulders with his hands on the back of my neck, around my neck to pull me closer into his chest.

Our kiss turned passionate, surprisingly, for it only being our first kiss. We would open our mouths to breathe in some air, also switching the sides our heads titled. We would both breathe in with our noses occasionally, like we were taking in every bit of each other: taste, feel, and smell. He tasted reminiscent of toothpaste. Which I’m not surprised by, seeing it was still morning. Gerard’s body heat warmed me up all over, keeping me warm from the chills of the still air-conditioned science wing. It was comforting, and I won’t lie; I wanted to experience this again. It’s hard to explain all that I’m feeling in this moment, but to summarize it, extraordinary.

After only a brief moment of this exhilaration, he breaks away from me, but stays close, resting our foreheads together, us both catching our breaths. I can feel his heart pounding, and I know without a doubt he can feel mine.

After a minute standing like that, I lean in, giving him a small, chaste peck on his lips.

The like a sudden panic attack, it strikes.

I realize what I’m doing.

I push away, not forcefully, from Gerard and stare at him wide-eyed with a scared and apologetic look on my face.

He looks hurt, and it pains me seeing him like that.

“I- I- I’m sorry! I- I don’t know wh-what I was.. thinking. Oh G-God, why did I.. We-we just… No, I can’t, oh, Frank I’m sorry!” Gerard was freaking out now, also realizing what we had done.

“Stop, you’re not to blame, Gerard. I-I… I kissed you back. I didn’t stop you. …Shit, Gerard, we fucking kissed!” I tried to calm him, but it only freaked me out in the end.

“I know!” He exclaims right back at me, leaning forward as he says it. An incredulous look in his watery, hazel eyes.

“This is illegal! Fuck, this is my first job I can’t screw this up, oh my God! People will think wrongly of this! People always fucking think the worst of things in these situations! Not once do they know how we in the situation of the cases feel!” My voice raises as I say this, my arms slightly flailing and my eyes frantically looking at Gerard.

After a silence, Gerard quietly pipes up, “What do you mean by how ‘we in the situation’ feel?”

Gerard looks sheepish, afraid, almost, to ask this. He’s standing with his legs together, one arm holding the other, slouching a bit, and his head towards the ground, but looking up at me.

“I… well, I mean that the people, the society, they never ask us how we feel. How we feel about the situation we’re in… how we feel about the other person…” I trail off as I finish, just looking at Gerard. I’m leaning on the side of my desk, which I do a lot. His head snaps up when I say the last bit, eyes questioning.

With a bit of hesitation, Gerard shyly asks, so quiet it’s almost a whisper, “How do you feel?”

My heart leaps.

I guess that’s my answer.

After some thought about what to say, I slowly start, “It scares me, but, Gerard, I care about you. I’ve loved growing close to you this first, what, month and a half?, of the school year. And to say I didn’t have feelings for you would be an outright lie. I, just, my feelings confuse me sometimes because of our situation. But.. I don’t want what happened just now to affect our friendship-”

“Neither do I.”  
That shuts us both up.

Gerard and I just look at each other.

We do that a lot.

“So what are we going to do?” Gerard queries.

“Remain friends, at least.” I tell him honestly what’s on my mind.

“At least?” I knew he’d ask about that.

“If we’re able to maintain that..” I’m at a loss for words. I don’t know what to say.

Gerard’s walking towards me now.

Once he’s a couple feet from me, he stops.”  
“I’d like that… I don’t want us to be awkward around one another because of… well, the kiss.” His head falls towards to ground in embarrassment, and I see him smile under his long hair, somewhat hiding his gorgeous smile from my view.

I step towards him, nodding my head in agreement. Then I wraps my arms around his shoulders and pull him into a hug, which he wasn’t expecting, letting out a little squeal. I laugh.

“Oh my God that squeal was adorable.” I say and laugh at the same time, with him wrapping his arms around my lower back, his head buried in between my shoulder and neck, nuzzling me.

I feel him smile against my neck.

“Shut up.” is all he says, mumbling, clearly embarrassed.

“You’re adorable, not me.” He replies, squeezing me a bit.

Yeah, okay, with this flirting we can’t remain “friends”, as hard as we may try.

I snort a laugh. Then we remain quiet, still hugging.

Then Gerard speaks up again.

“I liked the kiss a lot.” Gerard was afraid to admit this, I could tell. It took me by surprise, obviously, but it made me proud that he trusted me enough to admit his feelings about it.

“I did too.” I admit, without a second’s hesitation and without thinking about it. Gerard squeezes me hard at this, very obviously not expecting me to feel the same way he was feeling.

Gerard lifts his head to look me in the eyes.

“Y-you did?” His voice is shaky, and my heart jumps, knowing this is probably the first time he’s experienced these things. I don’t know what else to do, so I put both my hands on his face, cupping his cheeks, and kiss him. Willing myself to deal with what feels right in my heart and drown out the thoughts of what’s wrong in my head.

Gerard kisses back, breathing in with shock, and his hands ball into fists, grabbing some of my shirt in the process.

I’m the one to pull apart from him this time.  
Still cupping his face, I look lovingly into his eyes (though I’m not ready to call it that).

“I did.”

-

The bell rings.

The second bell of the day is over already, geez.

Gerard goes to pick up his backpack sitting by his desk. I’m standing near the front of the classroom.

“See you tomorrow for my band’s gig, still?” I question him, because it comes to my mind and I want to double check that he still plans on going.

Gerard’s got his backpack on now and is turning to walk back to me and he smiles widely, showing his small teeth.  
“Of course! I don’t want to miss it. I wouldn’t let myself miss it.” He says as he walks towards me with happiness in his stride.

“I can’t wait.” Gerard says, standing in front of me now, tilting his head to the right with a sideways smile, placing his hands on my shoulders where they meet my neck, slightly on my upper chest as well.

“Good.” I happily say with a smile as Gerard leans in, kissing me chastely.

He goes to open the door and looks back at me before we leave each other’s sight, and smiles.

Then he’s gone.

-

My head is spinning.

Especially from what happened today with Gerard.

I’m nervous about willing myself to do this, but also extremely excited.

I get home, feeling a lot less tired than I usually am.

I feel happier, too. I notice I’m smiling when my face starts hurting slightly.

I do my usual routine of cooking myself something lazily made, and watch tv with my food. I decided to watch some old X-Files today instead of just having the tv on whatever channel was already on.

I would have band practice tonight, but we all decided to do it tomorrow at noon, plus we sound check before we’re actually supposed to start performing at the gig, so it’s all good.

My mind keeps wandering back to Gerard, and it makes me smile and a warm feeling spreads throughout my whole body. After 2 hours of watching X-Files, I go downstairs and grab one of my favorite guitars, an off-white Epiphone electric guitar with the stickers “LOVE” stuck on backwards.

I plug her in, grab my writing book and pencil, and sit down and write; thinking of Gerard.

-

I sat writing for around 2 hours nonstop, getting a lot done on my new song. Everything was just flooding out. Because of my staying up late writing, I woke up at 11.

Shit!

Everybody was supposed to get here at noon to practice once more before tonight!

I sprang out of my bed, changing into regular skinny jeans with holes in the knees, a black graphic tee, and a cream colored cardigan and grabbing my phone off my nightstand before heading downstairs. I brewed some coffee as I went downstairs and set up what needed to be set up so it was ready when the band was here so we didn’t have to waste time.

When I got back upstairs the coffee was ready. I poured it into a white mug and added some sugar, not bothering to add creamer today. I also toasted me some brown sugar cinnamon poptarts, because why not.

-

“Well, you’re sure cheery for a Saturday earlier than 3 pm. I’m not used to this!” Patrick says after I open the door really enthusiastically to let him in. Everybody else was already here and downstairs.  
I blush, knowing that the reason I’m so happy is because of Gerard.

I don’t say that, though.

“Just nerves, man! Preshow jitters!” I exclaim as I let him in.

We get downstairs and are all set up now, ready to have one last rehearsal before our little gig.

“Alright, Cellabration. Let’s start. 2… 3…. 4!”

Let the day commence.


	7. Gerard Did What?!

Gerard's POV

For once in my life, I feel genuinely happy. I don't feel like I'm putting on an act just to keep myself and my friends sane. I find myself smiling without even realizing at first. You could say I'm floating on cloud 9.

That happiness comes in fluctuations, though. The happiness gets interrupted constantly by remembering Frank. By remembering what we did is illegal. By remembering we could get caught.

I'm not going to let that happen, though. I can't let it happen.

I'm happy because of Frank.

I'm not letting what society says is right and wrong get in the way of that. Whenever I remind myself of that fact, I slip back into my happiness again.

Throughout the rest of the day, my friends have needed to grasp my attention a lot. I would drift out of the conversations a lot, thinking about Frank. Apparently I was smiling to myself when I zoned out.

Way to be discreet, Gerard.

"Hey. Gerard! Snap out of it!" Lindsey snaps her fingers in front of my face. It was the end of the day and we were walking to the main entrance of the building with Pete joining us when we pass his locker.

"Dude you almost ran into, like, three people. I saw you guys from the end of the hall and watched you."

"Not in a creepy matter, I didn't mean it like that don't take things so seriously, God." Pete adds after we look at him with furrowed eyebrows.

Lindsey laughs heartily at that, noticeably making Pete less tense. "We know, Wentz!"

"Don't call me Wentz, Ballato." Pete snaps back jokingly, which in turn Lindsey hits him on the shoulder. God I feel like such a third wheel right now.

I'm not a third wheel with Frank...

At least I hope I won't be.

Oh God what if I will be?

Come on, Gerard that makes no sense. Just calm down, take a breather.

All of a sudden I run into something. That of course snaps me out of my mind wandering. I look up to see what I ran into. It felt like a person.

Frank Iero.

He just smiles at me, a very slight pink tint on his cheeks.

I drop my head to the floor, embarrassed. My face feels hot so I bet my face is as red as the blood of my enemies. I look up at him, though, with my head still down.

"Hi." Frank says, putting his hands in his front pockets.

"Hi." I reply quietly, sheepishly grinning at him. "Sorry about running into you.. my mind was elsewhere."

"Same." He blushes more, something that's rare from him, and looks down.

All of a sudden Lindsey is on my left and Pete is on my right, interlocking arms.

"Hey, Mr. Iero!" They say simultaneously. This leads Frank to look up, raising his eyebrows.

"Hey, you guys. Well, this feels awkward, so, I'm just gonna let you be. See ya." He waves awkwardly before backing up a couple steps and turning to find his way out of the school, looking at me one last time before he turns the corner.

"Hmmm what was that all about?" Pete chimed in, which I wasn't expecting. Even though Pete is all about other people's love interests, Lindsey was the one that noticed every little thing between Frank and I. So I was expecting a question like that to escape from her lips, not Pete's.

"Yeahhhhhh, Gerard, you obviously zoned out on us again and then we saw Frank heading in our direction and, well, for some reason, he also seemed to be in his own little world. Pete and I thought it in our best interests to just stop walking and let whatever would happen commence." Lindsey smirked at me with her left eyebrow raised, like she knew something was up. I just proceeded to stare at her.

"This was all Lindsey's idea and I enjoyed every moment so you can thank her, Gee." Pete added, placing his arm that was interlocked with mine over my shoulder and squeezed it.

"Pete, I think something happened between our little loverboy here and Mr. Baggins over there."

Lindsey gestured to where Frank had just disappeared to, pushing the topic too far for my comfort. I found confidence in myself all of a sudden, and a bit of sass, too.

"Well, Lins, how about you keep your little nose out of other people's business and love lives?" We've made our way to the front of the school by this point.

Clearly what I said was out of character, because Lindsey dropped her arm from me, as did Pete, and both stared at me with shocked expressions, mouth wide and everything. I think they were proud of this sudden gain of sass because, well, their faces turned into smiles and they started laughing.

"Gerard what happened what have you done to my shy, little, emo hermit who sulks to himself and spends the weekends in his room?" Lindsey asks, hugging me in the process.

"Wow that's kind of you I'm so glad that's what you think of me." I reply sarcastically, hugging lightly back.

"You know it's true, though, come on." Pete adds, this time being the third wheel.

I sigh and nod in agreement, with a small smile on my face as Lindsey pulls away.

"We're gonna do our usual weekend hangout tomorrow, if you want to come?" Lindsey asks me, rubbing my upper arm.

"I was actually planning on coming, don't you remember me asking earlier this week if you were all still going?" I give her a questioning gaze. After Lindsey saw Frank and I hugging she practically forced me to tell her everything that happened, that included Frank's band performing this weekend.

"OH yeah! It's been a day, Gee. Anyways, we should all hang out somewhere tomorrow before going. Somebody's house?" Pete nods in agreement.

"I offer my house gladly." He adds right away, holding a fist up in the air like Bender at the end of The Breakfast Club.

"That settles it! How's 4 pm? That gives us a couple hours to chill before heading out." I nod in agreement to Lindsey's suggestion and Pete says that's absolutely fine.

"I'll send out a mass text message to everybody so they know." Lindsey says as she pulls out her phone. Mikey finally makes his way out and I sigh in relief. I just want to get home. Today has been really tiring.

"Come on Mikey, let's get going. We can stop at Starbucks on the way home."

-

"Boys, I made hair appointments for you two. Your hair is getting really long, and I know, you hate me telling you this, most likely. But you're just getting trims. Unless you want to drastically cut your hair. Do whatever." Mom walks towards us, ready to go, as Mikey and I walk in with frappuccinos. We just stare at her mid-sip of our coffees.

"Come on, let's go! Set your school stuff down." We both groan simultaneously as we do what she says, giving up all together.

Once there, Mikey and I are done with our Starbucks by now, we very unwillingly sit in chairs. Mikey is sat a few away from me, due to it being kind of busy. I look back at my reflection as the hair stylist, a young natural redhead, ruffles my hair, asking what I want done. As she ruffles my hair, my bangs fell over my eyes, reaching past my nose, and I notice it really was pretty long. It definitely reached my shoulders in the back.

Drastic hair cut I would be getting I guess.

"Um, could you, like, cut it so my bangs just reach the top of my eyebrows? And I guess make the rest of my hair that same general length? Could it be done, um, I don't know what word to use... choppily?" I shrug, not knowing if I described what I wanted well enough.

"Oh you described it fine, honey! I hope I can do what you want. I have a strong feeling I can."

After maybe 15 minutes, she's done, and removes the robe used to prevent hair from falling on my clothes off and asks if I like it.

I'm not used to having my hair this short. It's been awhile since it's been this length.

I nod, smiling. "I really like it, thank you."

"Awesome! I'm happy I didn't screw it up."

I head to the front to my mom and Mikey, already being done with his hair, and their expressions are priceless. Mikey just stares at me agape, not believing I'm the same person he calls his brother, and my mom, her eyes lit up and a smile sprouted on her face.

"Oh honey you look so handsome!" wow way to embarrass me, Mom.

"Mom please not in public oh my God." I reply shyly, with Mikey still gawking at me.

"Mikey stop staring at me like you're seeing Billy Corgan before your very eyes it's freaking me out."

Mikey snaps out of his trance, and apologizes, mumbling.

"Okay boys, let's get going." Our mom directs at us when she's done paying.

"I'm saying this again, Gerard, you look so handsome. My boy's growing up."

-

"Mikey let's go we gotta head to Pete's now." I tell Mikey somewhat impatiently, waiting for him to take his time after starting to get ready to leave at the last minute.

Mikey finally walks downstairs and does a double take when he sees me.

"Shit, Gerard, I'm still not used to being able to actually see your eyes."

"Wow how nice. Now let's go." We say bye to Mom and head out the door.

Once at Pete's, I hear a female screech. The windows are open, by the way.

All of a sudden Lindsey is out the door.

"GERARD ARTHUR WAY WHAT HAPPENED?" She's smiling profusely at me, we make our way to one another, everybody else now gathered at the windows (I can see them).

Oh yeah, my hair.

Lindsey immediately puts her hands through my hair, Mikey making his way inside.

"Mom made us hair appointments, just for trims, actually... you can gather I changed my mind about that." I quietly say, looking at her as she looks at my hair instead of actually me.

"It looks amazing I'm not used to this. The whole week whenever I see you I'm not gonna realize it's you I swear." I smile and laugh slightly at that.

"I can see that happening."

Lindsey pulls me in for a hug, but only to whisper in my ear.

"I can't wait to see Frank's expression when he sees you." This makes me blush as we pull apart, and she smirks, knowing Frank is probably my one and only weak point.

Once we get inside Pete's house, everybody explodes over my haircut. I told you that it's been forever since I had my hair this short.

"LOOK AT OUR SON." Pete proclaimed, hugging Dallon in the process.

Dallon proceeded to reply, "WHAT A HANDSOME YOUNG MAN HE'S BECOMING. I MAY CRY." The two of them then pretended to cry into one another's shoulders.

Oh God.

"Gerard look at you I'm fangirling over here!!" Hayley exclaimed to me, looking very bright eyed and starting to lightly jump up and down, flailing her hands. I rolled my eyes at her, smiling.

"Please stop guys you know I don't like this attention." I shyly ask of them. Hoping with all my might they may actually care enough to do so.

"You like attention when it's from Mr. Iero, though." Ray said, after the initial shock of my new hair died down. Everybody laughed, even me, slightly, even though I was embarrassed. That led me to blush profusely, hug myself, and slink into the corner of the couch, curling into a ball, and becoming as small as possible.

"I'm honestly shocked you guys haven't been against Frank and I at all."

"OOoohh so we're at first name basis with him, then?" Andy decides to speak at this moment.

I shake my head, kind of annoyed.

"Okay to be honest, it feels weird, but I think the main reason I feel relatively fine about it is that he's really the same basic age as us. I only find it wrong if there's more than a 5 year age gap. I don't know why I feel like this. I've lost all common sense." Lindsey says, sitting by me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"I think I'm the only one against all this, then." Mikey says, very uncomfortable about the topic.

"Well, duh, he's your brother." Dallon says, rolling his eyes.

"Oh come on, Mikey, you gotta admit. You're happy for Gerard." Lindsey smirked.

-

We carpooled in groups of two: some of us in Lindsey's car, some of us in Pete's car.

It was 8:20 now. Frank's band didn't start for around another hour. We get inside, Andy by me, Lindsey and Dallon in front of us, everybody else behind us. Andy notices my slight nervousness. I haven't been out in public like this for a while. He pats my back and says it's fine. I'm surrounded by all of them after all. If I needed a break, he said he'd come with me outside to get some fresh air. I smiled and thanked him. Andy really is a great person, it sucks more people don't see that. Once we show our IDs, since we're all underage to get alcohol, they put red bracelets on our wrists. 21 and over get green bracelets.

I wonder if Frank is here. Well, he'd have to be. It makes sense.

Right now a music playlist is playing, currently with David Bowie's "Let's Dance". I smile to myself, approving of it.

I notice some people from school, as I expected. Some I talk to, some I only see them through the halls. And then, well, yeah, there's a couple of my bullies. I don't care really, though. Until I see one person that makes me flinch, slightly bumping into Lindsey as we make our way to a place to sit. And that person is none other than Bert McCracken. Unluckily for me, he turns his head just as I'm looking at him and we make eye contact. He had to do a double take though because, well, haircut. Bert raises one eyebrow, taking in my slightly new appearance, and I look away, not being able to watch him, making me extremely uncomfortable. He goes back to talking with some friends, me doing the same.

About half an hour later, I've already had nearly 2 glasses (not big glasses) of Coca Cola. And, to state it honestly, I need to pee. I inform my friends of this, giving Andy a look that says I'll be fine, since he looked at me somewhat worriedly, and head to the bathroom.

I'm washing my hands when I hear the bathroom door open.

"I'm sorry, you know."

I jump slightly at the voice, earning a small laugh from it, and look in the mirror. It's Bert.

Surprise!

"About what, Bert?" I sigh as I go back to washing my hands.

"Seriously? For, disrespecting you and all... looking at you inappropriately. I feel bad."

I scoff at the last part.

"Yeah, sure you do." I say without looking at him as I pass him, going to dry off my hands under an automatic dryer.

He grabs my wrist as I pass him, making me stop and turn to look at him, having no choice.

"I'm serious, Gerard. The principal wasn't exactly light on the matter. He made me realize what I did was wrong. I-I, really do feel bad." He trails off, letting go of my wrist.

I'm still wary around him, and I have a right to be.

The look on his face though, I could tell he was serious. Very serious.

After some contemplation on what to say, I decided.

"It's fine, Bert." He looks up at this, his eyes lighting up a bit. "Well, not really, you sexually harassed me, do you know how scarring that is? It wasn't even that bad but it still had an impact on me. I'll be blunt here, I'm somewhat scared around you, Bert. Even now. It's going to take some time for me to fully forgive you, Bert. But know that I'm willing to try." I back away from him now, and turn around to dry my hands.

"I didn't recognize you at first with your hair." Bert brings up after a short silence.

"I've gotten that all day." I say as I turn back around to look at him, smile small, then head out of the bathroom.

I'm heading back to my friends now and once I reach the table, Lindsey looks at me and says, "Frank saw you, you know. He stared at you. I knew he'd like your haircut." I blush as my eyes widen, looking around for him.

Was everything about my hair today?

It's 9:10 now. Almost Frank's show time. Then I find him. He's at the bar, not far from where we're sitting, with what I guess are his bandmates, and I recognize Mr. Stump, who's rocking a black fedora.

Frank's looking at me, and it makes my heart flutter. I smile widely, without realizing it. And he reciprocates. We're both blushing. That ends, though, when somebody walks up to the bar. I guess it's whoever's in charge of music, because the whole band gets up and heads to the stage.

Time for The Cellabration.

-

Frank's band was amazing. They did a lot of covers of classic songs in the rock genre. As well as some of their own songs, which were beautiful. They needed a record deal. Frank's voice was adorable. It was kind of nasal-y, whiny in a way, but then powerfully screaming his heart out at moments. Which I loved. Through this, I got to see parts of Frank I never got to see. I got to see something he loves to do. Something he cares about with all his heart. And I loved that. And Mr. Stump was amazing at drums. I was shocked. Once in the performance, Frank and I locked our eyes, and he winked at me, smirking while singing. My face became a boiling tomato. All my friends saw it, too, because they all turned to look at me and smiled knowingly. Hayley and Pete, sitting on either of my sides, elbowing me. Frank's band was over too soon. They performed for an hour, I think. That hour lasted too short for my liking. When they were done, the music playlist started playing again while they packed their instruments and stacked them towards the back, for when they were going to leave. When they passed us to head back to the bar, Lindsey got my attention.

"Go on, go to him." She patted her hand on my hand that was on the table and smiled reassuringly. "I won't sneak pictures I swear."

I smiled and rolled my eyes.

"Of course you aren't." Then Frank and I made eye contact, him faltering in his walking a bit.

I felt a nudge on my arm, so I stood up, almost knocking over my chair in the process, if it weren't for Pete catching it.

"You're gonna sneak pictures aren't you?" I hear Ray mumble as I walk towards Frank.

"Hell yeah." I hear in return, and what is Lindsey probably getting out her phone.

"You were excellent up there." Was the first thing I say as I reach him, smiling.

"Hah, thanks." We just stand there looking at each other.

Which I've realized we do a lot.

I can't contain myself anymore. I hug him. It's a big hug, too. A tackle, in a way. I wrap my arms around his neck, burying my face in the crook of the scorpion tattooed side, and he leans back from the force of my hug, wrapping his arms around my waist, and my legs are lifted off the floor.

I scream, not loudly, at the sudden lack of sturdy ground beneath my feet and smile into his neck widely, while he spins me around unexpectedly.

"Oh my God!" I exclaim and lift my head. And yes, as I expected, Lindsey's sneaking her phone in our direction. Frank laughs heartily with a wide smile before setting me down. We stare at each other as we catch our breath. I look around at our surroundings quickly before deciding we're okay. The only people I spot that I recognize from school are my friends. I kiss Frank, hearing excited chatter from my friends, mainly from Lindsey, expectedly, and negativity from Mikey as he refuses to believe what's happening. That makes me smile into the kiss, and I feel Frank do the same. I decide it's definitely best to keep the kiss brief here, so I pull away, still smiling.

Frank moves one hand that was holding me close to his still sweaty and warm body from performing, and wraps it in the back of my hair.

"This was a shocker." He laughs breathily as he looks at me. Making me blush.

"I-I- um, I felt a sudden need to change it.." I look down shyly.

"Well, I love it." That makes me look up, surprised. "Finally I can see your face without needing to move your hair out of the way." That makes me smile and I look up, then we both laugh, because that is incredibly true.

"You're allowed to hang out at the bar with somebody who's of age, just so you know." He states, insinuating he wanted me to join him over there.

"But what about Mr. Stump? Wouldn't he, well, get suspicious?" It's a genuine question and I can't help but ask.

"Oh, Patrick. He actually had to leave right after, has some family business tomorrow early in the morning. It's a shame, I would've loved if he could have stuck around for a bit." He shrugs his shoulders as I nod my head in understanding and agreement.

"So come on then, join me?" Frank asks me, rather adorably, with a sideways smile on his face, and pulls away from me, to hold out his hand. I take it gladly and nod, letting him pull me away. Something catches my eye past Frank's shoulder, though, so I look directly at it to get a better look at it.

Bert.

Oh no.

But he doesn't look smug, like he'd rat us out. He looks, oddly, hurt.

And I can't help but be curious as to why he looks like that.


	8. Friction

Frank's POV

Gerard and I got to the bar, but to our dismay, it was filled. So I told my bandmates that I'd see them later, them not paying much attention to Gerard, due to alcohol, I presume. So he and I went to find a little table for ourselves, running into Bert McCracken on the way. I instinctively death glared him, seeing he harassed Gerard. But all he did was give me a look of incredible sorrow. I was shocked, really. So I let him off with a nod, saying it was okay, and I wasn't holding a grudge against him any longer. After a few minutes, we found a booth near the back and slid in.

"You hungry?" I ask; the place serves basics like salad and hamburgers, etc.

"A little bit..." Gerard shyly admits after thinking to himself, making a decision after we both hear his stomach growl. That makes us laugh, his stomach giving away the answer to my query.

The lady working at our section came over to ask what we wanted, so we both ordered Coca Colas, and I ordered mac n' cheese, Gerard deciding he wanted the same. Their mac n' cheese was the fucking bomb so I knew he'd be happy with his decision.

All of a sudden I feel his left foot rub up my leg, and I jump a bit. I look up and smirk at my beautiful boyfriend.

Did I just call Gerard my boyfriend?

Are we even boyfriends?

The thought scared me, the whole illegal thing creeping back into my mind.

But I get pulled out of my nightmareish trance when Gerard's foot wraps around the back of my leg, at my ankle.

"Playing footsies, are we?" I smile at him, and raise an eyebrow at his position right now. Both his arms are on the table and his hands are curled into balls resting on his face, him smiling like a lovestruck teenage girl. It makes my heart stutter, if that could even happen.

I just look at him like that and sigh.

"You're adorable." I laugh, shaking my head at him.

Gerard giggles and bites his lower lip while smiling.

"God, we sound so sappy. Mikey would be cringing so much right now. Buuuut I think he's got some interest in his life... I've been nosy and, well, snuck a glance more than once at his phone. He's constantly texting. And seven out of ten times it's a girl named Kristin. Maybe I should interrogate him." He looks off into space, thinking about what he'd question Mikey about.

"You're his protective, older brother. You wouldn't be doing your job if you didn't interrogate him! Do it. Doitdoitdoitdoit-"

"Alright, alright! I think I will." Our food comes now. Thank God. I hear him mumble an excited "yes" and I look at him, nodding in agreement. Food!

After some silence of us enjoying our food, Gerard brings up a random question, though a really reasonable one, to me.

"Is this a date, Frank?" He seemed nervous to ask, and his cheeks turned a light tint of pink.

"I'd like to call it that." I hesitantly answer. We're both still very scared letting our feelings show like this, knowing what the consequences could be if anything bad happened.

"I'd like that, too." And at that, we both smile so huge. The both of us are so giddy about this. It has only been one day since we admitted our feelings. At that, a question pops in my head this time. I hope it doesn't sound stupid.

"Gerard, are we dating? Like, I don't know, 'officially', or however you'd word it?"

"I ran up to you after your gig and you spun me in a circle and we kissed. Yes, Frank, I think we are indeed dating." I let out a giggle at Gerard's answer.

I never giggle.

I've relapsed back into my teenage hood.

Dammit, Gerard does things to me.

I love every bit of it.

"That makes me happy." I say with complete honesty.

"Me too. Very much." Gerard replies right away with a sharp intake of breath. I reached my hands across the table and took his in my own.

"We're such a cheesy couple." I quietly say, adding a laugh after, rubbing his hands with my thumbs.

"Aren't all couples at some point?" I nod in agreement, lifting his hands to my face and leaning so I could kiss them. Gerard then let out the giddiest giggle I'd heard come out of him, yet. It made me smile into my kiss I gave his, rather soft, hands.

We spent what was at least another hour and a half sitting there talking, flirting, and really, enjoying each other's company. It was when Gerard's friend Lindsey came up to the table with another girl I had seen sometimes through the halls, but didn't know the name of.

"Gee we were all gonna head back to Pete's... and spend the night obviously, but yeah, I thought I'd let you know. I dunno if you were gonna stay here with Frank or..." she finished her sentence trailing off, giving us both a look. One of those looks friends give their friend when the topic is on a love interest you see in movies and tv shows all the time.

Gerard just looked between Lindsey and I, trying to make a decision, I guess.

He seemed really embarrassed to say this, but he carried it with confidence nonetheless.

"If you don't mind, Lindsey, I'd like to stay with Frank some more. He could drop me off when we're done." Gerard timidly was looking at Lindsey, like he knew she'd probably never let him hear the end of it.

"Suuurree, Gee, have fun." And she walked away with a wink, grabbing her short friend by the hand and exiting the bar.

"Gee?"

"It's my nickname, shut up." He shrinks a bit in his seat, and I laugh.

"I like it. It adds to your shyness and the whole kind of innocent and kindhearted vibe you give off. Gee." I tried out the nickname for myself, and I felt it just fit.

"That's a way to put it." He shrugs, liking what I thought of his nickname.

-

We spent another half an hour in there before we decided we should go. As soon as we exited the building, Gerard interlocked our hands, me swinging them back and forth between our close bodies. I directed him to my black car, us having to let go of our hands to get in the car. When we buckle up and I ask him what way to his friend's house, he says to turn right out of the lot. After some silence, he asks so quietly I have to strain my ears to hear him.

"Actually, do you think it'd be possible to go back to your place?"

Luckily we're at a red light, so I didn't crash the car from shock.

"Uh-well, um..I-I-hmm, I-" I really didn't know what to think or say. Luckily Gerard interrupted me.

"It's okay, it's okay. Really. Just.. keep going straight so far, then."

There was silence for a minute.

"We can go to mine, only if that's what you really want.

Remember the risks of our relationship."

"I know, Frank, trust me. This thought has been at the back of my mind ever since Lindsey came up to us at our table. I'm sure about my decision."

"Okay then, that's that." I calmly say as I turn to head to my home, moving my right hand to reach for his hand, him meeting me in the middle.

We held hands like that and smiled the rest of the ride to my house.

-

About ten minutes later, I pulled into the small driveway that accompanied my small house.

"Your house is so little and cute." Gerard observed, looking up at it from the passenger side window.

"Hmm, just like me." I replied smugly, with a smirk at how proud I was of that stupid line.

Rolling his eyes, he sighed and smiled, letting go of my hand, which allowed me to get up out of the car, Gerard doing the same. We reattached our hands though when I walked around to where he was, and headed up the red brick path to my white front door. Obviously it was dark out, so it was a good thing I actually remembered to turn on my porch lights before leaving. I let go of Gerard's warm hand to unlock the door, but he just proceeded to hug me from behind, arms around my waist and resting his head on my left shoulder. I chuckled.

"Somebody's clingy."

"It's my job as your boyfriend."

"Then don't complain the next time I randomly cuddle you. It's apparently my job." Gerard just nuzzled his head into my shoulder more.

"You know I wouldn't." He whispered into my ear, giving me chills, which encouraged him to suck on my earlobe a little. Damn him for being taller than me. He was actually able to do that without struggling.

"Ew slimy get off." I laughed as I opened the now unlocked door and hit the lightswitch to turn on the hallway light, hearing Gerard whine to himself.

As soon as I tossed my keys onto the side table where I always put them and slunk off my jacket, hanging on the staircase railing that led upstairs, Gerard tackled me from behind again, laughing deeply, like he was up to something. Well, this was the first time ever we had truly been alone together. There was always people around somewhere all the other times we were together.

This time his arms went over my shoulders, so I took advantage of that, and grasped onto his arms, bending down slightly so his legs went off the ground, and ran into my living room, us giggling together like schoolchildren chasing each other on a playground. I reached my couch and plopped him down on his back, jumping on top of him, and started to tickle his sides.

"Don't you fucking d-dare, Fra-GOD, I hate this, nonono." The typical threats of the tickle victim slurring from his lips, him struggling against me, making it hard to tickle him. Gerard suddenly got a hold of my hands, me choosing defeat.

Gerard pulled me to him, so I was now fully on top of him, and kissed me passionately. This earned him a gasp of surprise from me, making him smile into the kiss. Gerard's hands tangled into my hair, occasionally pulling at it, of course making me moan. I trailed my hands down his lean sides until I decided to rest them upon his hip bones. We were both wearing converse, so we managed to kick them off a few minutes ago. Gerard moaned a bit when I squeezed his hip bones, which was sent straight to my dick. Our bodies forming together perfectly like a puzzle, just like yesterday when we first kissed. I could feel my pants getting tighter by the minute, and I could feel Gerard's slightly growing bulge rubbing against mine, us obviously both feeling the same way about what was going on. I moved my hands from his hips to put one underneath him, going to his lower back, to bring him closer to me if that were at all possible, and the other up to ruffle in his jet black dyed hair.

Gerard's hands made their way from my hair down to the hemline of my shirt, and I jumped flinched slightly at the unexpected chill of his fingertips slipping under my shirt and trailing up my back. His fingers lightly touched my back, teasing me and giving me chills, making a low grumble from the back of my throat escape my lips, which was muffled because my lips were still attached to Gerard's.

In reaction to the grumble I made, Gerard's hips thrust lightly into mine, making us both moan quietly from pleasure. Gerard's surprisingly clammy hands stopped at my shoulder blades and dug somewhat into my skin when I reciprocated his actions, grinding back against him. Gerard let out an "mmm" of approval as we kept grinding into one another's progressively tightening skinny jeans, exploring our bodies with our hands while doing so. Gerard's legs had made their way to outside my hips, and he locked them tight to my sides. I trailed my left hand up and down his outer thigh, squeezing slightly occasionally when I disconnected our lips and looked at him. Gerard was beautiful right then. He was flustered, his eyes moving around to look at my face a lot, his hair sticking to his flushed face, all with a huge smile on his face and want in his hazel eyes. I smiled right back at him and winked before leaning back in to trace small kisses down the right side of his jawline, finally landing on his pale, unmarked neck. Gerard's breathing hitched as I started biting and sucking, wanting to leave a hickey or two. Gerard's body melted into mine when I did this, clearly not ever experiencing it before, and shyly let out a moan. My hips instinctively thrust him at the sound. Gerard's arms found their way to my chest as he placed them there to push me away a tad, just to look at me.

"C-can you, take off your shirt?" Gerard whispered, it very clearly showing in his expression he wanted us to get closer.

"If that's what you really want." I'm not going to do anything unless Gerard's absolutely sure he wants it. He nods quickly, so I sit up, not being able to straddle his hips because of his legs being around me. I reach my hands to the back of my shirt over my shoulders and pull it over my head and drop the sweat-clad black graphic tee beside the couch on the floor. I forget for a second that I am practically covered in tattoos. Gerard has only seen my neck tattoos and up to my shoulders of my arms. He just stares in amazement, looking all over where he hasn't seen tattoos. After a minute of his wandering eyes on my exposed upper body, Gerard moves his hands to my waist, where the doves are on either side, with the word 'and' in between them. He turns my body partly to the right so he can read what he partially couldn't read: "search" and then vice versa: "destroy".

"Search and Destroy. The Stooges song." Gerard says out loud, to no one in particular.

"Yeah." Is all I'm able to reply, not really knowing what to say, as I place my hands over his. Gerard looks back up into my eyes suddenly, a glint of something in his eye, when he grinds up against me, smirking. I smirk back as I lean back down over him, kissing him teasingly on the lips. Gerard wraps his legs fully around my lower back this time, connecting his feet so his legs stay attached while we continue to playfully kiss and move our bodies in unison. Gerard reaches down to the hem of his shirt, though I notice it's with some hesitation. I stop him, shaking my head to signify he doesn't need to, when he decides to follow through and go ahead and remove his shirt, it joining mine on the floor. Gerard's skin is beautiful and smooth, as well as pale and completely unmarked. It makes me afraid to touch him; like I'll break him at any second. I start kissing his collarbone as he wraps his arms around my neck tightly. It's starting to get uncomfortable on the couch, as I was expecting.

I stop what I'm doing to ask with deep sincerity. I know that all of this is a first for Gerard, so he's got to be nervous and unsure what to do.

"Would you like to go up to my bedroom, Gee? It's perfectly okay if you do-"

"I want to." He replies, cutting me off. I ask him again, but with a look in my eyes, asking if he's sure. He smiles and nods with positivity, his mind made up. I decide to carry him piggyback style, kind of like I did when he tackled me from behind earlier. We make our journey to my bedroom up my small staircase.

Gerard lets go of me, so I do the same, him landing on his feet behind me. Suddenly I'm no longer on my feet, as I feel myself pushed down onto my bed. I laugh and turn over on my back as Gerard crawls on top of me, straddling my hips and placing kisses up my bare torso as he works his way up to my neck, placing open mouthed kisses on my scorpion tattoo and biting playfully into my flesh. I moan at the sensation and thrust my hips into him, making him groan in pleasure and start to grind me with a rhythm. Gerard stops kissing at my neck and places his forehead on mine, chastely placing a kiss on my lips. His hands were on the nape of my neck when I felt them move down my sides until he stopped at my pants button, now biting my lower lip and letting a groan escape my lips, encouraging him as he decided to undo the button, his right hand now on my fly zipper. I feel his weight shift slightly as he props himself up on one elbow to look down at me, questioning with his eyes if he can continue. I smile encouragingly at him and rub his back with a nod of head, giving him permission. Gerard smiles deviously and places sloppy kisses on my collarbone as he proceeds to undo my fly. Once that's done, Gerard sits up and looks down at me, biting his bottom lip. It makes my stomach flutter. I haven't been filled with this many butterflies since my first time, my freshman year of college. Yeah, yeah. College. Not high school. You heard me correctly. It was with some drunk dude at a party. I had had a few drinks, but wasn't nearly drunk enough to forget the event.

Gerard and I shifted so he was sitting in between my legs, and he placed his hands on my hips to start on removing my very friction-filled black skinny jeans. After he got them off he tossed them to the side and crawled back on top of me, us kissing passionately, and I flip him over so I'm now on top, getting a giddy laugh to escape his lips, which makes me smile down at him. I go back to kissing his neck, which his breath catches at, and his hands go to tangle themselves in my hair, us starting our thrusting back up once again. My hands trace down the sides of his smooth upper body and rest on his waist. It's my turn to bite his lower lip as he pulls lightly on my hair. My left hand goes to the front waistline of his jeans, teasing him.

"Go ahead." Gerard whispers into my ear, then biting on my jawline to signify he's okay. I manage to get his jeans off with a little bit of struggle. Gerard was wearing some tight jeans today. Once that's done I place myself on top of him again and we proceed to make out and move our bodies together, working a tiny bit of a sweat up between our flushed bodies. I'm between Gerard's legs and am feeling his also pale thighs when one of his hands trails down my back and teasingly plays with the waistline of my boxers. We're both getting harder by the second, especially with the friction between the two of us. I moan into his mouth and his other hand digs into my shoulder. I decided to also start playing with the waistband of his boxers, when his breath hitches slightly, so I stop, and look at him. Gerard looks nervous.

He makes eye contact with me as I cup his face with one hand, stroking his cheek with my thumb.

Then his eyes start watering and tears slowly fall down his face. It broke my heart.

"Shhhh, Gee, babe don't cry. Please, it's okay." I started stroking his face and brought my other hand up to stroke his hair. I leaned down and kissed the tears that stained his face.

"No, no it's not okay. It's really not okay." Gerard replied, shaking his head and closing his eyes. "I'm chickening out and leaving you out to dry, here, it's not okay, Frank."

"Look at me, Gee." I calmly say, trying to sooth him, still stroking his hair. He opened his eyes, fluttering them a bit due to the tears that were still coming.

"You're nervous. Really nervous. And trust me, I really, really get that. You've never been in this situation before, right?" Gerard nodded his head shyly.

"See? You have a right to be feeling like this. It's scary, honestly."

"You've done this before? ...I mean, well, not to sound rude or anything, but, you know, there are people who save themselves, so, I wasn't sure-"

"Yeah, I've done it before. With some drunk dude. I wasn't very drunk, though. That's why I remember it. I was nervous as fuck. You're reminding me a lot of myself in that moment right now. And it's okay." Gerard nuzzled his head into my neck, hugging me.

"Thank you." His voice quietly spoke up, muffled by being in the crook of my neck.

"It's okay, sugar." I move to where I'm laying by him, partly on him, my arm slung across his waist and my leg on top of his, resting my head by his on the pillow he was using.

"It's okay." I whisper again, kissing his cheek. Gerard smiles sheepishly in return.

Gerard is stroking my arm that's across his waist, admiring my tattoos, when I ask what it is he'd like to do instead.

"Can we just sleep? All cuddly and sappy and shit?" Gerard quietly asked me, afraid to admit that's what he wanted.

"Absolutely, Gee. I'm all for sappy shit." I leaned into his face and peck his lips.

"Do you want to borrow PJs?"

"Can we just stay like this? In our boxers?" He blushed, ashamed once again by his wants.

"Of course." I reply. Gerard kissed me passionately, but not as much as we were kissing a short period ago. After we broke apart, He cuddled up to me, putting his head on my upper chest and his arm up on my stomach, hand resting near his head, and put his leg over mine like I had not five minutes ago. I wrapped my arms around his torso and kissed his forehead.

"Goodnight, Gee."

"Goodnight, Frankie."

Frankie.

I liked that.


	9. Awake In Your Arms

Gerard's POV

When I woke up this morning, it was with a comfortable warmth surrounding me. Then I realized this warmth was coming from another human body. My head was underneath theirs and my arms curled up between our bare chests. His tattoo sleeved arm held me close by my waist, and our, also bare, legs were tangled together.

Frank.

I was with Frank.

In bed with Frank.

My heart fluttered and butterflies formed in my stomach. I was really groggy. Trying not to disturb Frank, I rotated my head slightly to try and see if the time was visible anywhere in his room. I saw a simple grey wall clock that read 9:12 am. It had to have been near 4 o'clock in the fucking morning when we fell asleep. No wonder I was tired. I nuzzled my head into Frank's neck gently before looking down at his arm that was holding me. Subconsciously, I moved my arm from between our bodies to trace over his tattoos with my fingers, feeling them and trying to go into his world to figure out the meanings behind getting them.

Frank stirred a bit, him shifting beside me, and in the process he ended up pulling me closer and he moved his head so his chin up to his nose was nuzzled against my forehead. I was admiring the tattoos on his upper arm when I felt his lips press against my forehead, signalling he was definitely awake. The sudden feeling of the action made me smile, and of course, my face heat up. I kept on tracing over his tattoos, though, still fascinated by them. Especially since the lighting was a lot better since the sun was up and I could actually see them. I must've been tracing somewhat lightly, because soon, I felt shivers go down Frank's body. This made me move my head to look up at him, a smirk clad on my face.

"I'm sorry, did I do that?" I quietly say to him in a grumbly, sleep-clad voice, moving my hand up his arm to rest on the side of his neck, with the scorpion.

"Mmm." was all I got back in response, Frank closing his eyes and nodding, obviously just as tired as me. I trailed chaste kisses from where my hand previously rested on his neck, up his jawline and finished on his pink lips, earning another hum from him.

"Good morning." Frank spoke after our kiss.

"Morning, Frankie." I mumble in response, leaning in for another peck, which still managed to make my heart swell.

We ended up just kissing for around 5 minutes.

Nothing sexual, though. Just enjoying each other and expressing our feelings.

Frank was the one to pull away, me whining from the lack of him. He giggled at me while sitting up while I still stayed plopped on the bed. Frank just sat there looking down at me and smiling, with me watching him with one eye poking out between my arm up on the pillow and the other half of my face stuffed in the pillow. I shied away soon after, snuggling my whole face into the pillow and bringing one of my legs up to my torso.

"You're beautiful." Frank whispers out of the blue, putting a hand on my exposed back and rubbing up and down it lightly. My face was still practically hidden in the pillow, but not all of it, because he saw the smile form on my face and chuckled, placing a kiss on my shoulder.

"I'm getting up. I plan on making coffee. Want any?"

"Hell yeah I want coffee." I managed to get out, almost falling asleep again.

"I've got clothes scattered all around here, you can throw on whatever when you come down, okay?" I nod my head, eyes still closed, and I sprawl myself out on the full-sized bed, taking up all the space.

I hear him shuffle around and I open one eye, seeing him put on some sweatpants then head towards the door, I feel like he's going to look back so I close my eye until I hear the door open and close, letting me know he's headed downstairs. After resting my eyes for a minute or two, I decide to sit up. He was right about having clothes scattered around the floor. I guess he's so pooped at the end of the day that he just tosses things onto the floor, not having a care in the world where they land. His room is relatively simple. Bed. Dresser. Closet. Some pictures. Stuff like that. I sat there just looking around his room for 5 minutes before deciding to actually get up, a yawn escaping my lips. Glancing through his clothes spread throughout his room, my eyes spotted what looked to be a black, baggy sweater. I grabbed it and pulled it on, looking down to see what was on it. X-Files. I chuckled. Frank is definitely a nerd. I love him.

At least, I hoped to be able to say that sometime. It was too soon to know how to actually feel. I decided to just stay in my boxers and the rather comfy sweater, which was surprisingly kind of big on me. It left only an inch of my boxers showing at the bottom, and I could hold the sleeves over my hands. Even though I was taller than Frank, my frame was smaller. I'm a skinny kid. Then I made my way downstairs.

I found my way into the kitchen, Frank's back turned to me as he was making his cup of coffee. I leaned against the door frame, crossing one leg over the other, and lifting a hand up to my mouth to chew on the sleeve of his sweater. Then he turned to look over his shoulder at me, him doing a double take to look me up and down at the sweater I was wearing, and, well, I was still in my underwear. I cocked an eyebrow at him, making him smirk and roll his eyes at me, going back to finishing up his coffee.

"Stop trying to seduce me, Gerard." Frank said in the comfortable silence. I giggled. I walked up behind him and put my arms around his waist, linking my hands at his front, pushing him lightly into the counter, pinning him there. I had an advantage being slightly taller than him, so I leaned my face to his ear and nibbled at it. Frank squeaked at my action and tried to bat me away. I just tightened my grip around his waist and laughed deviously. Frank managed to turn around in my death-like grip so we were facing each other. Our laughing died down as he put his arms around my neck, going up on his toes to be completely eye level with me, and we kissed.

I moved my hands to his waist, and moved him back to the counter so he had nowhere to go and our bodies were pressed together. Frank suddenly moved his tongue along my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth, knowing what he wanted. His tongue found its way in my mouth and we spent time just tasting each other. Morning breath among both of us. Before anything got really heated between us, though, we both pulled away. Frank had a mug out already for me, and I grabbed it, pouring coffee into it.

"Do you have any creamer?"

"In the fridge, babe." I blush at the nickname, my shy nature coming back to me as I walk to the fridge and open it, spotting hazelnut coffee creamer and grabbing it. I pour in a little bit before putting it back in the fridge and adding some sugar. When I set down the sugar, Frank hands me the spoon he used to mix so I can do the same, licking it after I'm done and satisfied with the taste. I looked at the microwave clock and notice it's already past 10. Geez.

Frank kissed my cheek after I took a first sip of my coffee, leading me to the living room and sitting on the couch. After he turned the tv on to Sunday Morning, he sat back down on the couch, leaning into the back. I cuddled up to him, curling up my legs up and leaning them onto his legs, which were propped up on the coffee table, my coffee in my hands. Instead of Frank wrapping his arm I was leaning into around me, he rested his hand on my thigh and started rubbing small circles with his thumb.

Then a vibration startled the both of us. Especially Frank. He lifted part of his butt up and reached beneath him, pulling out my phone. I guess that fell out of my back pocket during last night's events. Frank rolled his eyes, a pink tint on his cheeks as he clearly remembered last night as well, and handed me my phone. Mikey had just sent me a text. I had numerous messages, actually. I just read Mikey's recent one, though.

Mikey: get to Pete's at noon, remember I don't have my license and I can't drive your car home?

Me: fine, I'll do my best

Mikey: wow he responds I thought he'd be busy with his lover

Seriously, Mikey?

Me: hah hah you're so funny I'm laughing my ass off right now. -_-

Mikey: see you at noon, Gee

Me: yeah

"Mikey needs me to get back to Pete's at noon. I drove us there and I'm guessing he's got unfinished homework to squeeze in." I bring up.

"Well, it's 10:30 now. That gives us some time, yeah?"

"Yeah." I had just finished my coffee, so I leaned over to set the empty mug on the table, Frank having already been done with his. When I moved, Frank moved his hand to in between my thighs, making me look back at him with a smile. I leaned down and pecked him, teasing him from his obvious desires.

"What do you want to do for an hour?" He asked me, squeezing my thigh. Our faces were still close together, and I breathed out at his action, my breath hitting his neck and giving him chills.

"This."

I closed the gap between our faces and kissed Frank passionately.

-

By 11:40, Frank and I were fully clothed and heading out the door, set on taking me back to Pete's house. I texted Mikey letting him know I was on my way.

Once Frank locked the front door, he laced his hand in mine and kissed my head. Though that didn't last long, seeing we had reached the car 30 seconds later. Frank started up the engine and we were backing out of his driveway, the radio playing David Bowie, and he placed his hand on my thigh, giving it a squeeze. I blushed, remembering the previous hour. To summarize, it was filled with sloppy kisses, moans, and to top it all off, grinding. But no, we did not have sex. I'm still scared shitless about that. It makes me nervous, because I'm awkward as fuck, and those situations that happen in a show or movie I may be watching always make me uncomfortable, so I would stop watching.

"Gee?" That pulled me back into reality.

"Hmm?" I set my gaze toward him.

"We just passed the bar. I need to know directions from here, kay?" I nodded and pointed forward, signalling to keep going straight for now. Frank just rubbed his hand that was on my thigh back and forth. When he stopped, I placed my hand over his, interlocking our fingers.

"Turn right up ahead."

After some time telling him what ways to turn to reach our destination, we made it to Pete's. Frank leaned over, intending to kiss my cheek, but to his surprise, I turned my head, locking our lips together.

"Thank you, for this weekend. And everything." Shy words escaping me.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Gee. I know I did."

"You know, we could get out of the car so I can properly hug you. It's not like my friends don't know about us or anything. Everybody had left Pete's by now, though. It was just Mikey that was still there, my car parked on the side of the road by his home. Frank laughed breathily before nodding. We both exited the car, then. Frank made his way over to where I was on the passenger side of the car, putting his hands on my waist. I cupped his face with my hands, kissing him, before I moved my arms around his shoulders and pulling him in for a hug, my face snuggling into his neck. Frank's grip tightened around my back and we squeezed each other one last time before letting go.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Gee."

"I'll see ya then, Frankie." I quickly leaned in to give him one last peck on the lips before our departure. We both blushed after that, our hearts racing.

Frank drove off in his car as I walked up to Pete's front door, ringing the doorbell. Mikey answered it, coming out the door immediately, very obviously wanting to go home.

"Okay then, you're obviously ready."

"Yeah, I've got a shitload of homework."

"That's what happens when you slack off, Mikes. I'm done."

"Well that's because you never actually go out on Friday nights."

We were in my car now, Pete waving from his window and us waving in return, as I turned on the car and started to drive off.

"How was he? Kinky?"

I nearly choked.

"Mikey! What the actual mother-loving shit did that come from?"

"Just wandering if you enjoyed yourselves, is all."

Goodness sake.

"That didn't happen, Mikey, you can cut it out." I bitched at him, getting annoyed.

"What on earth did happen then if you didn't do the stereotypical thing to do?"

I started turning the color of a tomato.

"W-We, uh. Ahem. Wedidn'ttakeitthatfar." I mumbled the ending, not wanting to talk about this to my brother of all people.

"OH so stuff did happen! Just not to its maximum. I see."

"Can we stop, Mikey? Anyways, who's this 'Kristin' I always see you texting?" I noticed he had his phone out, texting this mysterious girl again. This time was Mikey's turn to become a tomato.

"Nobody." He quietly answered after a minute.

"Suuuuure. Don't think I'm just going to leave it at that."

-

Mikey and I walked into our home to see our mom sitting in the living room watching a movie that was on tv.

"How are you boys? Anything fun happen?" Mikey just smirked at me, us both thinking about Frank.

"Nothing much, real-"

"Gerard spent the night at his boyfr-" Mikey quickly spurted out before I hit him upside the head from shock.

"Mikey! Is talking to this girl a lot and I think there's something between the two of them and I think he should tell us about her or something's gonna go down."

"Boys!" Mom raised her voice over our ruckus, not in an impatient manner, but just to get our attention. It did just that. We stopped and looked at her, straightening our stances.

"Boy, what, Gerard? Friend? Boy... friend? Is that what Mikey was starting to say before you oh so graciously lost your cool and smacked him?" My mom looked at me with a knowing look in her eyes, with me knowing I couldn't lie to her. Damn mother's intuition.

"I-I- well.. um-"

"What's his name, honey?"

"F-" I hit Mikey. If my mother was finding out about my boyfriend, then I would be the one to tell her about him.

"Frank-" I almost said 'Frankie', so I'm lucky I caught myself.

"Oh that's a nice name, dear." Mom smiled at me, and I sheepishly smiled back.

"He's 22."

Holy mother of God, Mikey was out to kill me.

Mom was taken aback of course, but she didn't look like she was going to explode, which surprised me.

"Gerard, is Mikey right?" I nod guiltily and cross my arms over my stomach, looking down at my converse-clad feet.

"Well, honey, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't shocked. Anything between you two that would perhaps happen would be illegal, you know that?" Mikey snorted, knowing just how illegal our relationship was. But he didn't say anything. "Anyways, just, if your relationship with this Frank manages to last past your 18th birthday, don't do anything physical, okay? As for the age gap, it's only 5 years. I don't find that bad at your age. Plus, I know how mature you are for your age. You may disagree with me, but I can honestly say I see that in you all the time. Just make sure this is what you want, honey."

"I think it is." I reply, astonished at my mother.

That night, Mikey struggled to finish his homework, while I started drawing Frank.

I was falling for him.


	10. What's This Feeling?

Frank's POV

*time lapse about two weeks*

Wednesday morning.

Hump Day.

To be honest, I don't get why it's called that. All us sick perverts giggle at its non-intended pun.

I think of Gerard, then.

Dammit, Frank!

Stop thinking that you know he's not ready. And that's fine.

Our relationship has gone on for almost two weeks. So yeah, it's still kinda early to even do that, in my personal opinion.

Gerard's delicate and fragile. I need to protect him with all my being.

-

"Hey, Frank!" I turn my head to the familiar voice, spotting Patrick walking towards me. We've grown even closer and have a lot in common, it's great.

"Patrick! What's up?" I stop walking, waiting for him to get to where I am.

"Nothing at all, really. Just wanting the weekend to get here." Patrick sighs as he reaches me.

"Oh trust me I relate completely." I nod my head in agreement.

We discuss new guitar equipment we've been trying out as we walk to the teacher's lounge to drop off our lunches then part, heading to our classes for the day, making plans to write some songs with the band as soon as we can.

-

Gerard and I didn't get quality alone time to hang out this past weekend, which sucks. He had to go out of town for the weekend for some family stuff, something about his grandma, I think. I can't remember to be honest with you.

We got to sneak some kisses yesterday, though, seeing as he didn't have my class on Monday. I had missed his smell, his taste, his whole presence, really.

Wow I'm starting to sound a bit clingy.

Oh well, who cares?

I like Gerard too much, I'm allowed to miss every little thing about him even if I don't see him for a few days.

When Gerard walks into class today, my heart leaps at the sight of him, we both shyly smile at each other. He walks up to me, pretending to ask a question about last night's homework on Stoichiometry.

"I missed you." His voice quiet and deep as to not draw attention to the whole illegality of our relationship to others.

"Obviously I missed you, too, Gee." I place my hand on the middle of his back, pointing to the worksheet, "helping" him on his problem. We smiled at each other and blushed.

"I have study hall after class, I can stick around for it if that's... well, okay?" Gerard looks at me sideways, smirking a bit. That look leads me to bite my lip in, well, sexual frustration.

"Only if you want, Gerard. Now go take a seat. Class is starting." I start to lightly push him away when his usual personality takes a turn, downright shocking me.

"Ooh I like it when you talk demanding to me." He looks at me devilishly after saying that in a particularly low voice, to my deep gratitude.

I felt a little something happen down there, though.

"Gerard not now." I fluster and scurry him away. "Sit we'll discuss the problems in class today."

I go to sit at my desk and sigh out loud in relief as I put my hands on my head, covering my view of the class watching me, waiting for me to start the learning day. After a few seconds I recover then stand, telling them all to get out homework so we can go over problems in class.

Stoichiometry is tough, man.

-

Class ended 80 minutes later and Gerard's highly anticipated study hall period has arrived. After the class shuffles out, Gerard also walks to the door, slightly confusing me, but he only proceeds to lock it.

Oh.

I walk up behind him and slink my arms around his waist, kissing his neck, earning a moan, which once again surprises me this morning.

"Somebody's rather horny this morning." I mumble into Gerard's neck, him nodding slightly in response.

Fluctuations of teenage hormones.

Gerard twists his arms around me and his hands find my ass, deciding to squeeze it slightly. I jump a bit at the unexpected feeling. Gerard laughing to himself at my reaction.

"God, you're adorable." Gerard speaks quietly to me as he turns around to face me, wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling me close, joining our faces together, us tasting coffee on both our mouths.

I start pushing Gerard back towards the wall, pinning him there, us both "oomphing" at the impact.

"How've you been?" I manage to get out between kisses and groans.

"Amazing. Thanks to you, of course." Gerard breathes out as I move to kiss and suck on his neck, our lower bodies beginning to grind together. I smile into his neck, what he just said making my stomach flutter. That ends as soon as it happened when Gerard bucked his hips into me after a bit slightly on his lower neck. Both him and I moaning in pleasure at the feeling. Our pants were starting to get tighter from the growing bulge.

"It's my long bell today. Thought... I'd, mention- that." Gerard lets out as we start to slink to the floor by my desk, Gerard underneath me.

"That's good to know, actually." I'm saying when I feel Gerard's hand move between our bodies, teasingly playing at my belt buckle when he suddenly palms me roughly through my jeans. I buck into his hand automatically at the sensation, moaning his name into his ear.

"Wh-what's gotten- into y-you?" I say as he massages me. He stops at that question, slightly returning to his normal self.

"Um. I-I just, wanted to- try, things." We stare at each other before kissing passionately.

"Yes, definitely try things." Gerard mumbles into my mouth as he slips his tongue in and shocking the fuck out of me when he also slips his hand into my pants.

Holy shit.

This feeling is incredible, oh God.

"Fuck!" is what escapes my mouth as soon as his hand wraps around me, squeezing and pumping slightly.

"Seriously, G-Gee wh-at h-happ-ened to y-you?"

"Confidence boost." Gerard cockily replies to my flustered state, smirking before pulling my face to his with his unoccupied hand.

After some contemplation, I trail my left hand down his side delicately, making him shiver at my touch, before palming him in return, making him throw his head back, thankfully not too hard, on the floor, his legs spreading a bit when he bucked into my touch. Gerard moaned out and squeezed me tighter at his sensation.

"Pl-please, Frankie, I-" he's cut off with my lips on his and I undo his pants and wrap my hand around his hard self. A deep, throaty moan came from Gerard as his unoccupied hand tangled itself in my hair and pulled. This is the first time he's ever experienced feelings like this. Wow.

After a minute of us pumping each other to the best of our abilities, we both felt close.

"Fr- wh-what's this f-feeling?" Gerard choked out, genuinely worried.

"You're about to come, babe, it's n-natural. I'm about t-to." I squeeze as I pump him once last time before he releases, his legs that are up outside either side of me squeezing my hips as he does so. Gerard moans out a bit louder than we have been, relaxing a bit, still managing to maintain his hand job.

Gerard moves his thumb over my leaking base, sending me over the edge as I come into my underwear, moaning in pleasure.

"Fuck." I mutter as Gerard removes his come-covered hand from my pants.

"We should clean this up." Gerard laughs from under me, blushing immensely. I stroke the side of his sweat-laced face with my clean hand and peck his lips, smiling into it.

"Yes, yes we should." I chuckle in return, moving his hair from his sticky face. I stand up, holding my clean hand out for Gerard to take, lifting him up to me. He stumbles into me a bit, us making eye contact, and blushes an even deeper shade of red, if that were possible.

I grab some paper towels from the back and clean up the area where we were just laying before heading over to one of the lab sinks, Gerard following close behind. We get some soap and wash our hands together, giggling like lovebirds as we help get rid of the evidence.

"How are my pants? Clear of spots?" I ask after our hands are dry. He checks me over briefly before looking back up and nodding in reply.

"What about me?" Gerard asks in almost a whisper, still very shy about our actions.

I glance down and spot a little bit by his fly.

"You've got a little, by your fly. Um, it's not the easiest to get off without being washed, so, well, have you got a black sharpie? You could black it out?" Gerard looks down and spots, the, the, well, he spots the spots. He heads over to his backpack and pulls out a sharpie, opening it and blacking out the marks all in a swift motion.

"So, no underwear?" I ask as he walks back over to me. I was surprised to not feel the fabric of boxers. Gerard just looks down and blushes again.

"Not the easiest things to wear with tight-ass skinny jeans, you know."

"I know, I know. Anyways, it's a good thing I've got Febreeze. It smells suspicious in here." I chuckle and head over to my desk, opening a bottom drawer and pulling out the smell-good-stuff, spraying it around the classroom until satisfied.

After I put the spray away, Gerard comes up to me and hugs me, putting his head on my shoulder, nestling into my neck, arms wrapping around my back. I squeeze him with my arms around his shoulders, kissing his forehead.

"That was a great first experience, Frankie. ... Thank you." Gerard most definitely shyly admits that, me chuckling at him.

"You don't need to thank me, no way, Gee. But I'm glad you enjoyed the experience."

We stood there in our comfortable embrace when the bell rang, signaling our time with each other was over for the day. Gerard unwraps himself from me and grabs his stuff as I go to unlock the door. It's lunchtime now.

As he walks up to me, the sight of him makes my heart grows and my stomach flutters and I feel lightheaded briefly as I feel my face heat up, all in one. This feeling is immense. I know what it is. I'm, I'm pretty sure it's love.

I love Gerard.

Once Gerard reaches me, he leans in and pecks my lips, lingering longer than usual before he fully pulls back. We bid goodbyes before he turns to head out the door. So many thoughts are rushing through my head as I reach for his hand and say his name, causing him to stop and look back at me, confused.

I just look at him, not knowing what to say.

"What is it, Frankie?" He snaps me back to reality.

"Wh- oh, um, nothing, Gee. Have fun with your friends at lunch, sugar." He looks down, red tinting his cheeks before leaning in to peck me again really quickly then leaving.

The words on my mind the whole time escaping my lips as soon as the door closed behind him.

"I love you."


	11. I Know

Gerard's POV

-

Wow.

What did I just experience?

It was by far the best pleasure I've ever felt, ever.

And, God, it wasn't even, well, sex.

I wonder what that would feel like, then...

Only time would tell, I guess.

My mind is wandering through these things and Frank, my heart swelling with him on my mind of course, so I'm zoned out in a way, heading to lunch. So I'm not watching where I'm walking. I run into somebody. I look up, flustered, my face probably still flushed from my recent activities. I start jumbling a bunch of apologies from my lips and how I should've paid attention to my surroundings. I just get a small laugh in return, then an "It's alright." I finally look up at the familiar voice.

Of fucking course it's Bert McCracken.

"Oh, um, okay then I'm just gonna go.." I trail off, lowering my head and starting to walk past him to go to the lunchroom. Bert doesn't let that happen, though. He grabs my arm, not rudely or painfully might I add, and takes us into the bathroom we just so happen to be right by. We're on the top floor of the school and everybody is practically filed into the cafeteria or their classes by now, so no attention is drawn to us. Once we're inside I pull my arm away.

"What do you want, Bert?" I spit at him. I'm still not over what he did to me. I have a right to feel that way.

"I really wanted to talk to you."

"You seem to like to do that in bathrooms, then. This is the second time now if I recall correctly."

"I know there's something between you and Frank."

My face goes pale and my body goes stiff. Oh yeah. He saw us at Frank's gig that one night.

"I haven't told anybody. I don't plan on it." Bert says, stepping closer to me, which makes me kind of wary.

"Why the fuck not?" I'm shocked, honestly. You think Bert would do anything in his power to get back at Frank for getting his ass in trouble.

Bert doesn't say anything in reply to my question, though. He just kinda hesitates with words at that. Then I'm scared out of my mind from his sudden movement, pushing me up against the bathroom wall, him holding me there by my shoulders.

"I like you, Gerard. I wouldn't want a chance of you getting hurt by anything of that matter, now would I?" The normal Bert I know is back.

But, like me?

How?

I, for some stupid reason, decide to ask.

"L-like me, how?"

Instead of replying with words he steps closer to me and leans his face into mine, pressing our lips together, all in one quick motion, leaving me no time to react. My heart drops to my stomach and I go to push him away, but he breaks the kiss right before I do so. We look at each other with wide eyes before he leaves the bathroom in a rush, leaving me breathless and confused in the bathroom. I slide to the floor and place my face in my hands, rubbing it.

That incident horrified me and got me thinking. Did Bert bully me because he was confused about his sexuality and didn't want to admit he was possibly gay? Was that kiss to help himself decide what he liked? He looked full of regret after he did that, knowing I'm already taken.

The bad thing is, though, I kissed back.

Willingly.

-

I was pretty silent during lunch.

My friends did look at me knowingly, like they knew Frank and I did something, which I just blushed and bit my lip to, answering their questioning looks. I didn't see Bert at all at lunch, which relieved me. Even though deep down I wondered where he was.

"Gerard?"

"Hmm? What?" I snap out of my thoughts and looks to the voice that's by me. It's Mikey. We're home, somehow I managed to drive us safely. Which confuses me to no end. The whole rest of the day passed so fast. That's how much I had on my mind.

"You seem out of it."

"Yeah." I mumble as we walk up to the front door and enter our home. Once inside I go immediately to the kitchen to grab a snack and water then go up to my room without a word. I bet Mikey kept asking if I was okay, but I didn't hear him. My thoughts overtook me again.

Should I tell Frank what happened? Or leave it?

Should I tell anyone for that matter?

No.

I can't.

I decide to work on my comic I promised Frank I'd give him a copy of since I'm lucky enough to not have homework. I recall him saying his birthday was on Halloween when class was talking about the holiday. Everybody gaped in jealousy. I mean, who wouldn't? It's an awesome day to have a birthday. I decided after he said that was when I'd give him my comic. It seemed like a good birthday present, to me. I know how much he wanted to see more of my art.

His birthday was next Friday. So I had been spending all my spare time working on it. I'm nearly done now. I've just got the final chapter to copy and color in. Before I know it, it's 9:00. I didn't even eat dinner. I wasn't really hungry. So I decided to go to bed. Before that I check my phone and see I have a couple messages.

Frank.

This makes me smile from ear to ear.

They're a bunch of random things except for the last one. A simple 'goodnight, Gee. <3'

My heart flutters when I see the heart. Now that I think about it, whenever I think about him I realize a smile forms on my face. My friends have pointed it out before, and I've caught myself doing it a couple of times. I reply saying 'night, Frankie' and send it then after a second's thought, I hit the heart emoji and send that to him, too. I smile at the thought of seeing him tomorrow, missing him deeply, and turn off my phone, sleep threatening my exhausted body from my exhausting day.

I lay awake, though, thinking about my feelings for Frank. I care about him so, so much.

I'm positive I'm falling in love with him.

In fact, I know it.

I love Frank.

-

It's Friday now and that leaves me one week to finish my birthday present for Frank. I really hope he likes it. I firmly believe he will. It won't stop my nerves from thinking he'll feel otherwise, though.

I reach the doors to Frank's room (because when don't I skip the other classes to focus on Frerard?) and enter gleefully, excited to see my amazing [secret] boyfriend. The first thing I lay eyes on, though, is Bert. Us making eye contact immediately. My face falls and so does my optimism to see Frank, him forgetting my mind entirely as my stomach turns into knots. Bert gives me bad vibes. I don't want those bad vibes in my cornflakes. I want to help him, though, too. Which gets me all confused. If he's struggling I want to be able to tell him it's alright and he can find himself. I know firsthand what it's like. Obviously Bert is back to his normal personality, or acting just to keep suspicion from his friends on the down low, because I can feel his eyes checking me out as I turn to walk to my desk, facing Frank in the process. I smile widely at him, showing my teeth, not being able to control my facial muscles. Frank just winks friendly at me and gives me a side smile before the school day started.

-

"So your birthday is in a week." I bring up to Frank after class ends and everybody files out of the classroom.

Frank's face lights up at the mention of it.

"Yeah! It is! I'm beyond excited. Even though I'm turning 23 I act like I'm turning 13 instead. I don't know why I still get excited, but I do. Ugh. Oh well." He was so cute while rambling on about Halloween in excitement, a smile on his face the whole time. I couldn't resist, so I stepped toward him and leaned in, kissing him. Frank kisses back, of course, placing his arms on my waist and pulling me closer.

"What do you want to do?" I ask after we break apart, still remaining close, though.

"Well, if it means all that much to you, I'd love to spend it with you if you're able. We can stay at my house and watch scary movies and eat candy and cuddle and kiss and all that shit. I love doing that shit."

"Then that shit is what we will do, then." I reply, a smile tugging at my lips.

"I think it'd be best if I picked you up at your house, instead of us leaving from here, you feel? We still gotta be careful.. because, well, yeah."

"Yeah, yeah I know. We can do this, though. I know we can." I brush the hair that fell in Frank's face out of his eyes and tuck it behind his hair.

Frank's looking at the floor when he looks at me with a very serious, caring look on his face.

"I-I- Gerard, shit, I really, really like you." This takes me aback a little. I wasn't expecting this out of him since he was so chirpy and bubbly not even a few minutes ago.

Anyways, it still has an impact on my heart, making it flutter like mad.

"Oh. I- wow. Frankie, I really like you too." I say breathlessly.

Yep.

Frank took my breath away just now.

Gush away at it why don't ya.

Frank smiles at my reply.

"Really?"

"Of course, silly." I shake my head at his question and lean in to peck his lips.

"I should get going, Frank." I manage to let out of my lips after we part.

"Okay." Frank seems kinda sad about that, though he knows I have to. Because, well, it's almost the middle of the school day.

I go to grab my stuff really quickly then start to head out the door, Frank remaining in his spot where we were, near the door. Once my hand is on the handle, about to turn it to leave, I turn around suddenly, making Frank jump slightly at the unexpected movement. I place my hands on his face and kiss him passionately.

"I'm so happy with you in my life." I whisper to him when our foreheads are resting together after I pull away from him.

Then I leave, resulting in Frank being utterly speechless.

As soon as I exit, I run into the Principal.

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't paying attention, sir." I mumble.

"It's alright, just be a little more cautious next time. Go on." He replied nicely.

Our Principal is pretty cool.

Except he went in to talk to Frank.

What if-

No.

I can't think about that.

He looked at me totally fine.

If he knew, there would have been a look in his eyes.

It's okay, Gerard.

He almost caught us, though.

Well this has been a mini lesson for me, then.

Frank and I really have to be careful.

-


	12. A Day to Remember

Frank's POV

 

As soon as Gerard left the room, the Principal walked in.

I nearly shit my pants.

That was close. Too close.

"Hey, Frank, I just wanted to talk to you about the kids you caught bullying Gerard Way around a week or so back."

"O-okay. What about 'em?"

"I just want you to keep a close eye on them. I know it's your first year teaching here so you don't know their histories. Let's just say it's not the first time their group has gotten in trouble."

Well that makes a lot of sense now that he mentions it.

"So, please, just keep your ears listening for any bullying of the sort and keep your eyes peeled. I really don't tolerate that stuff in my school."

I immediately think to myself, 'You probably don't tolerate your staff having relationships with your students, either, Sir.'

"That's just a sign that you're a school leader who actually cares. It's a really good thing."

"I like to hear that, Frank. It means I'm doing my job right."

-

I felt my phone vibrate during the duration of our conversation. After he left, I pulled out my phone and checked it. A text from Gerard.

'G: Okay the principal nearly caught us so I took that as a sign. We really gotta be careful Frankie. I don't want to mess this up.'

'Neither do I. Agree with you 100%. We're treading deep water here'

'G: good to know you agree :)'

'I know this is the opposite of what we just agreed on, but do you want to go out tonight? It's Friday! Fun time!'

'It'd be a few towns over. Almost an hour away from here. There's some cool stores there I think you'd love'

'G: then I'd love to!'

'Amazing! Meet at the park around 4:30?'

'G: I can't wait Frankie'

'Neither can i. see you then'

Gerard was going to love it, I knew it. It was like an outdoor mall, in a way. A ton of stores right next to each other, but you have to walk outside to get to each of them. There was a Starbucks, which I planned us starting off with. A little independent art store was a few stores down, which I knew Gee would adore. He'd probably spend forever in there. A music shop was the next shopping block down. I wanted to show him a guitar I was in the works of custom making there. It was almost done. We could probably finish it.

I wanted to take him out to eat, too. Much better than the stupid bar we had our lousy excuse for a first date at. No, this was a nice place. Not too nice where we had to dress up, though.

I also know of a little park with a pond near it that I wanted to take him to afterwards. My best friend, who I haven't seen in forever actually, and deeply miss, Jamia, and I used to go there all the time. Wow, I miss her. I should get ahold of her.

Wow this night was turning out sounding romantic.

God, it'll be amazing, then.

-

Before I knew it, 4:30 came around and I had pulled up at the park. I saw Gerard at a swing set, rocking back and forth on it slightly with his feet still touching the ground. I walked up to him after I realized I was sat admiring him.

Gerard smiled up at me when he noticed my presence and I cheekily smiled back.

"Hi." He said shyly.

"Hey. Um, you ready to go?"

"Of course!" He jumped up off the swing, startling me a little and he laughed.

"Dammit, Gerard don't do sudden movements like that this is probably the hundredth time you've scared me unexpectedly."

"Sorry! Sorry. ...Actually no I'm not. It's funny and I love it."

I shrug him off.

"Whatever let's go before my mood is ruined." I smile at him, leading him to my car and we both climb into our respective seats. I had an Against Me! cd playing. Gerard turned it up a bit, claiming he'd heard a few of their songs and needed to get more into them.

He surprisingly wasn't asking what we were going to do. I guess he wanted to be surprised or something. There was a comfortable silence for a good ten minutes when I reached down and interlocked my fingers with his that was resting on the armchair.

Gerard jumped slightly at the sudden, unexpected gesture, then folded his fingers in between mine, which were already holding his hand. After he sat looking at our hands for a few seconds he lifted his head up and smiled such a genuine smile at me, I almost lost focus on driving.

Luckily we just got to a red light. I smiled back at Gerard.

"You're in a really good mood." He snorted a laugh at that.

"Yeah. I really am." He looked back at me then leaned in, placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

I don't know why, but his kisses were effecting me so much more than they first did.

Maybe it was a sign from whatever God there was above saying he was the one.

Was that cheesy?

Yes. Yes it was.

Suddenly a car horn honked twice, breaking us from our moment.

"Shit!" I whisper-yell at the sudden noise.

Gerard's eyes just widened from shock. Then he started laughing as I started to continue driving, since, well, the red light turned a bit ago.

Gerard kept laughing for a few minutes after that too, his hands on his face with his feet curled up on the car seat. I had started laughing by that point, too.

Laughter really is contagious.

We start dying down and were sighing like all hardcore laughter does when it dies down.

By then we had nearly ten minutes left of our trip.

-

I pulled into the lot, parking in the section where Starbucks was. When Gerard saw the popular coffee joint, he gasped quietly and whispered, "Coffee."

"Yes, coffee. That's where we're going first."

Gerard turned to me with a cheesy, childlike grin on his face.

"Yes, Gee, I heard you whisper excitedly to yourself about coffee."

"Yay." Is all he replied, turning to unbuckle his seatbelt and get out of the door, me doing the same.

I started walking slowly, waiting for Gerard to catch up to me. Once he reached me, his left hand linked with my hand loosely. I swing our hands back and forth lazily as he leans into my side.

As we reach directly across from Starbucks, Gerard's grip on my hand tightens and he starts taking fast paced steps while saying "Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee" all the way to the door, pulling me along.

Gerard, being too impatient with me taking my time, lets go of my hand and heads inside, me right behind him.

I order a white chocolate mocha and Gerard orders a hazelnut mocha. After I pay, we decide we want to walk around instead of sitting in a booth.

It took us two minutes to walk to the art store, I stopped in my tracks, and Gerard reciprocated, looking confused.

I dragged him inside, him gasping as soon as he realized what it was.

"Oh my God."

"Mhmm." I hum with satisfaction.

I remember him mentioning a certain sketchbook he wanted that was good for mixed media. He hadn't been able to find it in any of the mainstream art supply stores. After some searching, I was a couple isles away when I heard a quiet squeal. I went to the source and saw Gerard clutching something to his chest.

The sketchbook he was looking for.

"Frankie the artist in me is freaking out."

I laugh. "Yeah, I can tell." I smile, walking towards him.

"Well, I'm ready to go, then. Though I could spend forever in here I figure you have other stores you want to go to."

"Well, yeah, but it's fine. Really!"

"No, Frankie, I'm ready." Gerard firmly states, sassily turning on his heel with his coffee and sketchbook in hand. By the time I make my way to the front, he had already paid.

"Dude! I was gonna pay for that!"

"Y-you were?"

"I was planning on it ever since I heard you mumble to yourself wandering if you could find it here." He smiles sheepily.

"Well, too late now. But the thought means a lot to me."

"Hah hah whatever. You're welcome for my intention. You ready to continue?" I ask, holding out my hand for him to take.

"Yes yes yes." He nods his head while saying that and takes my hand.

I smirk at his behavior. Gerard really is so happy today.

I had planned on us heading to the music store next, but a new store caught Gerard's attention, him stopping dead in his tracks as he stared at it.

A comic book store.

Holy shit, when did that get there!?

"Right, we're going in. We'll probably spend practically all our money but who cares because comics." I say after I notice what Gerard is gaping at.

We could have spent the rest of the night there, but I know we couldn't. So after finding comics to our interest, ending in a stack full for each of us, we paid and left.

"That was not there the last time I was over here." I mention casually as we walk to the music store.

"Well thank God I noticed it because I can't wait to read all these comics."

"Neither can I. I'm fanboying over here."

"How do you think I feel, then!?" He laughs at me.

"Yeah you're definitely the bigger geek you're probably going mad right now."

"Hey!" Gerard exclaimed, mocking offense.

"You're right, though, I'm not denying it." He added after I smirked at him.

I kissed his cheek, saying "I like geeks, anyways." In his ear after I kissed him.

Gerard dropped his head, trying to hide his blush. But due to him still not being used to his shorter hair, he had nothing to hide behind.

We reached the music store, but to my dismay, it was closed. Music stores usually close early in the evening around here. The comic book shop distracted us. Oh well. It was a happy distraction.

"Oh, Frank, I-I'm sorry, I didn't know, I-"

"Gee, it's okay. Really. It's not the end of the world. I can come back another time."

"I really am sorry, though."

"I believe you, but I'm telling you, you don't need to feel that way." I kiss him to show him I'm not bothered.

"Come on. I have another place I wanted to take you to, anyways." I whisper to him after we pull apart. I grab his free hand with my free hand and start lightly pulling him to the car. We have to drive to the next shopping part over. Once we get to the car, we put our purchases in the trunk then head off, taking only a minute or two to get over to the next lot. I urge Gerard out of the car and I take hold of his hand when he gets to me, walking towards the restaurant.

"W-wait, Frank, are, are you serious? Dinner?" He asks, taken aback.

"Yes. Nice, but not stuck-up snobby people fancy. I wanted to take you out."

"Frankie, I-why?"

"Well, because-" I stop talking because, honestly, I don't have an answer to that. I really don't. I just felt like taking him out. To show I care, or something like that.

"To be honest with you I have no idea. I just, I wanted to. That's the best I can describe it." I squeeze his hand, we've reached the entrance now and I open the door for him. Gerard blushes at me and lowers his head, walking in first, but never letting go of my hand.

This restaurant didn't need reservations, either. And we came here a night that for some reason, even on a Friday, isn't their busiest. Lucky us. We got seated right away in a nice little booth in a corner. I love booths in corners. They're cozy.

The dinner was filled with our typical chatter of bands, comic books, and stuff of the sort. With flirting thrown in here and there, obviously. What's a couple without flirting? Gerard also rubbed his foot up my leg like the time he did our first "date". Then when our dinner came we had both our legs crossed at our ankles, his feet resting on top of mine.

Being a sappy couple like we are, Gerard and I also got a desert afterwards to share. I've never seen Gerard so happy like I've seen him throughout today. It gives me immense joy and wow, my heart has swelled a lot just at dinner. I've caught myself just gazing at him while he ate, completely forgetting about my food. He's caught me too, whenever he looked up to look at me. The first couple times he just blushed, sometimes holding my gaze, sometimes looking away immediately. Then the rest of the times he caught me gazing he smirked.

"Lose your googly eyes and eat your cold meal, Frankie." He said after about the sixth or seventh time he caught me. Yes, I gazed at him that much.

"Wh-what? Oh sorry hah."

"It's okay. I stared at you whenever I noticed you weren't looking at me."

I laugh at that.

"Well then, let's get desert, then I have one final plan for the night."

"Whatever you say, Frankie." Gerard smiled at me, and we ordered.

-

When we were done with dinner, I paid, obviously. I took Gerard out and therefore I paid. I wanted to, of course. The park was across the street, so I grabbed Gerard's hand and we started strolling to it, nighttime filling the sky and small street lights on the pathway of the park, giving it a nice glow, and should I say, actually kinda romantic.

"You're taking me to a park?"

"Of sorts. It's, well, it's not only a playground park, it-it's got a little pond that I love, I've actually never been here at night before. It's beautiful, geez I should come here more often at night."

"With you." I added after Gerard nodded, satisfied with my answer.

"R-really?" He shyly asked me, tightening his grip on my hand.

I squeezed his hand back.

"Definitely."

"Wow." Gerard breathed after we walked in a comfortable silence for a while. I looked to see what he exclaimed at when I saw it.

The pond.

I knew the scenery was gorgeous here, but then again, I had never been here at night. It got 10 times more beautiful, with small lights here and there around the perimeter of the pond, a small fountain in the center of it, also lit. There's also a little bridge going over a small dench where the pond used to partially be. With it still being fall, and the trees losing their auburn leaves still, it gave off a slight orange glow that took my breath away. "Yeah. Wow." I whisper out. Gerard starts heading to the bridge, wanting to see the view of the pond from there. I gladly follow along. He looks so content right now. And I can't help but admire him (again). Once we're on the bridge I let go of his, him looking sad for a brief second before he realizes I'm putting my arm around his waist and pulling him into my side. Gerard gasps at the sudden movement, gazing at me, which of course makes my heart leap, because when doesn't he do that to me?

"Thank you. For," he takes a deep breath then continues, "everything, I, I'm just, wow, Frank. I really am so happy." Gerard wraps both his arms around me, interlocking his hands. I rub my hand that's around his waist up and down his lower back soothingly.

"I'm happy, too." I lean in and kiss his cheek, then he rests his head on my shoulder, looking out at the small pond in front of us. We stood like that for a while before he pulled away, leaning on the railing of the bridge. I stayed where I was, though. Yes, our surroundings were beautiful, but honestly, I had never felt so much emotion toward Gerard as I was in this very moment. The lighting of the area, while dim, lit up his pale face perfectly. The orange glow bounced off his hazel eyes, bringing out the individual flecks of color in them.

I walked up to Gerard then, he was stood upright again, and I wrapped my arms around him from behind, resting my head on his left shoulder. He placed his hands over mine, I noticed he was looking down at them, one hand tracing over my tattoos, something he loves to do. I kiss his neck, because, well, that's all I can reach from this angle. And his face isn't facing mine. He scrunches his shoulders up at this and smiles wide, him turning his head to mine. Gerard reaches out and cups my chin, bringing our faces together, and kisses me chastely. Those are the kisses I love the most. They scream passion, but also show the innocence in simply caring for someone. After our moment, I squeeze him gently before letting go and standing by him.

We're both looking out at the pond again for a while when my attention turns back to Gerard. He's smiling to himself, probably rethinking all the events of today. I just admire him, he hasn't noticed I'm looking at him.

God, he really is beautiful.

Damn, I hate that I feel this way, especially in our situation.

Trouble may lay ahead for us, but I don't care.

I really don't care.

I know how I feel.

I gently cup the side of his face that's away from me and pull his face so he's looking at me. I step closer to him, our bodies only millimeters apart from each other.

I kiss him.

This leads to Gerard moving his hands to rest on my upper chest. I pull my face away from his and say what has been on my mind for the past few days.

"I love you."

-


	13. Elena

Gerard's POV

My breathing hitched.

My heart skipped a beat.

No, I take that back.

My heart stopped.

My voice was stuck in my throat.

But my eyes stayed open, staring.

Into the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.

'I love you.'

Those words came out of Frank's lips.

And they were directed to me.

For me.

And me only.

'I love you.'

I hadn't realized I was drowning in my thoughts.

I snapped back out of my zoning when I felt Frank's thumb, whose hand was still on my cheek, rub my face gently.

There was a worried look on his face when he spoke up.

"W-was that too, too soon? Oh, oh God it was I-I'm so sorry I said it too soon I feel terri-"

"I love you, Frankie." My voice was found again when I cut him off.

"W-wait, y-you, you do?" His eyes sparkled in hopefulness as my pale hands found his artfully-covered ones, interlocking our fingers loosely. I just laughed at him, nodding briefly before kissing him lovingly. Frank kissed back immediately and with just as much love as me. We broke and rested our foreheads together as a worrisome thought popped into my head.

"I-shit Frankie- why does this have to be illegal?" My voice barely above a whisper and cracking when I spoke the last word.

"I ask myself that question every fucking day." Frank replied, also in a whisper.

"We have to be so careful Frankie I don't want to risk anything." I put emphasis on the 'anything'. Scared was the perfect word to describe how I felt right now.

Frank's hands tightened around mine as he nuzzled his face on mine, our lips brushing.

"We can do this, Gee. I have faith we can. I know you can do that too. Keep the faith." He pecked my lips once, me nodding afterwards to give myself reassurance.

Why do relationships like this have to be illegal? I mean, yes, I definitely understand if it's a grade school teacher and student, but high school student, a senior at that, and a young teacher? A small age gap in between them? I don't understand. Fucking Beyoncé and Jay Z have a twelve year age gap between them and our society worships them.

"Can we last six months until I graduate without anything happening?"

"Like you said, Gee, we've gotta be careful. I know we can do that."

"I-I guess- yeah, you're right." I let go of Frank's hands and cupped his face, rubbing my thumbs in circular motions on his cheeks. Then I brought his face to mine. After kissing for a few minutes Frank decided we should head back, I agreed obviously.

The car ride home was comfortably silent with some small chatter here and there, the radio on low. Our hands were interlocked the whole time, Frank rubbing my knuckles soothingly with his thumb. It really calmed me and took my mind off of the things that were worrying me. It calmed me so much that I feel asleep after ten or so minutes.

It felt like I was only asleep for a minute when I heard a voice, but I didn't make out what was said. Then I felt what I thought was the car door on my side opening before I felt myself getting lifted bridal style. I was stirring a bit in my sleep due to this, but I was too tired to fully wake up.

Soon I felt the comfort of a nice bed underneath me, but was shaken slightly by my shoulders. A calm, quiet voice filled my ears.

"Gee, baby change into something comfy, come on." I opened my eyes only slightly and nodded my head lazily, not being able to lift it fully from exhaust filling my system.

I managed to get my coat off, with the help of Frank, of course, same goes with my t-shirt, when he grabbed a baggy looking black sweater to pull over my head, which he also helped me with. Then I went to remove my pants, no way was I sleeping in skintight jeans. That was beyond uncomfortable. After fumbling with them for a bit I managed to get them undone, but couldn't get them off my legs. I grunted. Suddenly hands gently moved mine aside as they grabbed the waistband, me having to lift my rear off the bed to fully remove them, obviously. Frank got them off and started handing me some of his old PJ pants he never wore but never actually got rid of, when I just shrugged him off, collapsing on the bed, cuddling myself into a little ball. Frank moved the blankets over me and I grabbed them with one of my hands, pulling them up to my chin. I heard Frank chuckle to himself before he leaned down and kissed my forehead. This made me smile, and I fell asleep immediately after that.

-

I awoke the next morning, at first not realizing where I was and starting to panic slightly before I felt the arm slung loosely around my waist. I was laying on my left side, I felt a body pressed up behind me, seeing tattoos on the arm around me, I remembered yesterday with Frank.

Oh yeah.

That was by far the best day of my life so far.

I really hoped days like that were to come.

Looking down at his hand, I lightly place mine over his, rubbing my thumb over his. I felt Frank stir behind me, or what I thought was him stirring. He kissed the back of my head.

"So you're awake."

"S-sorry, did I wake you?" I turn my body upper slightly so I can look at him.

"Nope, I've been up, just too lazy to actually get up." Frank chuckled, kissing my temple. I smiled, turning myself completely so we were facing each other and wrapping my arms around his neck. Frank tightened his arm that was around my waist and pulled me into him more, me putting my head in the crook of his neck as he did so. Our legs were now a tangled mess, my bare legs feeling that he had PJ pants on. I gave small kisses on his neck, down his jawline, until I reached his lips, kissing him again. I felt Frank smile into the kiss, me doing the same. I loved the feeling whenever he did that.

Breaking away from me, Frank asked if I had to do anything today.

Did I?

As if on cue, my phone vibrated on the bedside table. Frank must've put it there last night.

It was a text from my mom, reminding me we were going to visit Grandma today and to be home in half an hour.

Oh yeah!

How on earth could I forget?

I love my grandma to death.

She's supported me through everything.

Luckily I assumed Frank and I would be out late and that I'd probably spend the night, so I told my mom that would happen. She seemed hesitant, which, of course, is what moms are supposed to do, but she allowed it nonetheless.

"Frankie I've gotta visit my grandma today. It's important, too. I-we rarely get to see her. And I love her to dea-"

"It's okay. She's family; that stuff is a good thing to have. Do you need me to drop you off or something?"

"If you don't mind.." I shyly admitted, I hated asking favors of people.

"Sure thing." Frank nodded, rubbing my back soothingly before pecking my lips.

"My mom wanted me home in half an hour." I quietly add.

"WelL THEN we've gotta get going!" Frank smiled widely and leaped out of bed, going to get some clothes before he looked back at me.

"Gee your clothes are right by the bed you might want to change. I'll go into the bathroom, okay?" I looked down, spotting my clothes and nodding.

"Well, I, I don't think you'd need to go to the bathroom... it's not like we haven't been in just our underwear together or anything." Frank just looked at me for a second, his mind processing what I said.

"Damn, yeah you're right." He finally said, walking back over.

After taking off the sweater Frank had put me in last night, I pulled on my skinny jeans, looking back to check on Frank, I don't know why, but I did. His back was facing me and he had just pulled his shirt he slept in over his head. I stared at the surprisingly few tattoos he has on his back. His tattoos have never failed to captivate me. I crawled over the bed, him standing back up after leaning down to pick up his clean shirt he had laid on the floor. Delicately, I placed my fingers on the jack-o-lantern under his neck, the words "keep the faith" above it. He jumped slightly at my unexpected touch. After a minute, my hands trailed down the tattoos in his left arm, eventually making their way to his hand, where I interlocked our fingers. I wrapped my other arm around him, Frank folding our interlocked arms across to meet. And we stayed hugging like that for a good while.

"One day I wanna know the backstory behind these tattoos." I bring up, lifting my head that was resting on his shoulder and kissing the jack-o-lantern tattoo.

"I'd like that." Frank agrees.

-

"I think my grandma would really like you." I bring up on the car ride to the park. We had agreed to him dropping me off there and I'd walk home. It only took 5 minutes to walk there anyways. I didn't mind.

"R-really?" I sensed he was taken aback a little bit.

I nod my head, knowing full well Elena would love him.

She's always said to me if I find someone, boy or girl, she wouldn't mind. She would always support me, and always has. She stressed the point to make sure they treated me with their life. And that if they gave me the slightest bad feeling, to leave them, not be naïve and gullible. Elena always taught me well. Especially in the arts. She said once she saw something in me, deep down. I just had to work hard at it. She sat me down and taught me basics of drawing, showed me musicals, and so much more. I struggled sometimes, of course, but she was always there, pushing me through. Elena has always understood me the most. I've always been an outcast, awkward in social situations, not knowing what to do. Grandma would help with that. I have always, always opened up to her. Yes, I love my mom to death, with all of my heart, but I feel with my grandma, safer. Safer to be myself, let myself open up. That's only ever happened most around her. Mikey has pointed it out to me when we visited her as a family. How I seem to not be quiet and almost invisible around her. Once he first brought that up, the next times we visited, I realized Mikey was right. I was like a completely different person.

"Yes. She really would. Sh-she always accepted me, never talked down to me, and has always stressed to me what to make sure I have in a... in a relationship... whenever it were to happen..." I trail off at the end, embarrassed, and look out the window on my side.

Then I feel Frank's hand on mine, squeezing it gently.

"You're everything she's ever said to me, Frank." I quietly add.

Frank tenses a bit.

"I- am?"

"Yes, and that's how I know she'd love you, I've said this three times now, and I'm becoming more and more sure of it the more I say it."

By that time, we had made it to the park, Frank pulling over on the side of the road, putting the car in park.

"I-I don't mean to intrude on your, family life, but, I- I really want to meet her now."

"It doesn't have to be today. But- do you think I could?" Frank adds after a short moment.

"Of course you can! And, yeah, today couldn't work, but soon. I think it could happen. I want it to happen." I squeeze Frank's hand without realizing it as I think what it'd be like when they meet. I know Frank would treat her like royalty. Like the Queen of England or something. Without a doubt she would question the shit out of him. He'd get flustered and embarrassed, it'd be adorable. She would do it on purpose, though. To scare him at first, make her seem intimidating. Then she'd lighten up all of sudden, going back to her true personality.

God, how I want that day to become reality.

I snap back to when Frank's voice drowns out my thoughts.

"Gee let go you're gonna cut off my circulation."

"Wh-? Oh. Oh! I'm sorry I was thinking I didn't realize-" I rush out of my lips as a let go with slight panic, worrying I had hurt his hand.

"Babe, it's fine you were just zoning out." Frank laughed to himself looking at me.

"Hey you should probably get going, yeah?"

"Yeah. I should." I smile at Frank before leaning in and kiss him passionately, placing my hands on his face, him placing one hand on the back of my neck to hold me there. I pull away reluctantly before undoing my seatbelt and opening the door. I turn back to him.

"I love you." I say, then get out.

"I-I love you, too, Gee." Frank smiles widely at me, a sparkle in his eyes. I grin back at him before shutting the door and walking to my house.

-

When I got home, Mom questioned me about my day with Frank. I told her nearly everything, excluding the 'I love you's we exchanged. I wasn't ready to tell her about that. Though of course, she being the protective mother she is, started hinting to me if anything happened in between us. I caught on rather quickly and sighed drastically. She knows how uncomfortable I am in those kind of situations, albeit what happened in his classroom, and denied anything happened with my oh-so annoyed tone I get on a daily basis.

Luckily, we had to leave to visit Grandma nearly as soon as I got home, so she didn't get to question me as thoroughly as she wanted. And you know car rides. They equal ear buds and loud music.

It took around 3 hours to drive to where Grandma lives, and because we aren't exactly the richest family in the world, that's why we don't visit her frequently. And she can't exactly visit us. She lives in a nursing home, and for some reason, the rules of the nursing home don't allow their residents to travel more than an hour away from their location.

Yeah.

I don't get it either.

I had brought some art along to work on, and you must be thinking "Art? In a car? How?!"

I've mastered it, that's how much time I've spent working on art in a car.

I had brought along the copy of my comic to color in for Frank.

Finally, Mikey, Mom and I arrived after the uneventful ride. My anticipation had built greatly by then. I haven't seen my grandma in 3 months!

My excitement is like that of a teenage girl seeing her favorite singer who doesn't know she exists.

My mom checked us in to go visit Elena and we traveled our usual route up to her room on the third floor. I was a fair amount of paces ahead of Mikey and her.

I got there before them both, and after two minutes, they made it to me. I decided to wait for them so we could all go in together. I sighed aloud when I saw them turn around the corner heading to me.

"Finally!" I exclaim to them, raising my arms halfway into the air.

"Calm down, Gerard, honey." Mom replies to me, shaking her head.

"You know me, mom. You know how much Grandma means to me. I can't 'calm down'." I sassily reply to her as she knocks on the door before opening it and walking in.

"Donna! Mikey!" Elena exclaims when she sees us before looking at me with her usual sparkle in her eyes, and gasping. "Gerard, dear! Your hair! Look at you I can actually see your eyes without you needing to push your hair out of the way!" She smiles widely and I laugh at her remark.

"Hi, Grandma!" I walk over to her and hug her tightly.

"You look so handsome, sugar. Keep your hair like this." Elena ruffles my hair with her hand.

Embarrassed, I blush and look down at my art in my lap.

I kind of zone out while Grandma catches up with Mikey and Mom. She always talks to them first, so she can give me her full attention later while Mom and Mikey go do some things around her room for her that she can't do, like watering plants that are out of her reach.

While they chat, I work on Frank's birthday present.

Before I know it, Elena is elegantly snapping her fingers in front of my face to get my attention.

"It's our time together, lovely."

I smile widely and nod my head.

"What are you working on, dear?" She points to the pages in my lap and copic markers at my side.

"Wh-? Oh, a-um a comic, for my bo- for my friend." I plan to tell her about Frank, I actually can't wait to tell her about Frank, but, no, give it a few minutes.

"Oh that is wonderful, honey, I'm beyond proud! You've never given art to your friends, let alone let them actually look at your art. Must be a special friend if you're giving that whole thing to them."

"Yes, he really is, Grandma."

And as if the devil were overhearing our conversation, my phone lit up with Frank's icon, a picture I took of us both from yesterday, him hugging me from behind, looking at me while I look at the camera. I got a text from him.

I locked the screen, because it was my time with my grandma, but that didn't mean she didn't get sidetracked from the bright screen on top of my drawings, either.

"Looks like somebody needs to explain who this 'Frankie' is, hmm?"

Elena gives me a knowing look, raising one of her eyebrows and smirks.

"Tell me everything, dear." She sat back in her seat and crossed her arms over one another.

I stare at her wide-eyed and flustered, my face feeling hot.

It's probably the color of a tomato.

"I-I-I, um, w-well, h-" I stutter, my mind at a loss of words and coming out like a broken record.

"He got himself a boyfriend." Mikey simply states as he walks by us, going to get something to eat. I whip my head in his direction and glare, he just winks and smugly looks at me as he confidently strides out of the room.

Now I'm afraid to turn back to face Elena. I know she'll be happy and supporting, but, this is my grandma. I take everything she says to heart. I want this to go along well. I decide to turn around, of course, though. When I turn around she's smiling as widely as can be, and the sparkle in her eyes is the biggest I have ever seen it. I can't help but smile just as wide right back at her.

"Oh, Gerard, the day has come! I can't express how happy I am right now!" I nod my head, scrunching up my shoulders, and put my face in my hands from either embarrassment or joy. Probably both.

"But you know now I'm going to question you to death."

"I know Grandma." I exasperate.

"Does he treat you well?"

I knew this would be the first thing she'd ask. That's her main point in relationships. How one treats one another. I smile widely again just thinking about him and yesterday, in particular.

"Yes, he does. I-I trust him with my life." She nods her head before speaking up again.

"May I see that picture that popped up on your phone, dear?" I nod my head and go to my gallery to find it, since it was only yesterday, it was the first photo that pulled up. I enlarge it and hand her the phone. She looks at it, and she, well, she 'aw's. Which of course, embarrasses the living shit out of me.

"I like him already." She states out of the blue.

"Y-you do?" I'm surprised. She hands the phone back to me.

"Yes. Yes I do. Honey do you see the way he's looking at you in that picture?" She points to the screen, which is still lit up. I look down at Frank and my stomach flutters. There's that shine in his eyes and a wide smile on his face. Nobody ever looks at me like that. Well, besides Elena, but that's in a different way. That's love. But the way Frank was looking at me, that was what I would describe as admiration. Happiness. Being in love. Just thinking about it made my stomach flutter again.

God, we're like a soppy romantic movie couple.

"That's real love, there, Gerard. I don't see an ounce of lust, desire, or using in that boy."

I felt a pang of realization in my heart when she said that. She was right. Elena is always right.

"H-he, he, um, he- told me he, l-loves me." I quietly respond, still looking at the photo. I felt Elena's eyes pouring into me, so I look up at her.

"And?"

"And... I, said it back."

"Do you really feel that?"

"Grandma the whole time we've been something, I've had your words at the back of my mind. Keeping everything in consideration and, and, he's everything you've said to look for. Never have I felt a bad feeling around him, never have I felt suspicious of his actions. Never."

"Then it's settled."

"Wh-wait, what? What's settled?"

"Gerard, honey, you're in love."

-

"I told him about you." We're nearing our stay at Grandma's, me of course not wanting to leave.

"Frank?"

"Yes. A-and he said he really wants to meet you, if you want to of course."

"You know I can't say no. I need to meet this boy, too."

I smile widely.

"He can drive, yes?"

"Well of course, Grandma."

She brings me in for a hug, since we're heading out, Mikey and Mom already outside the room.

"How about within the next couple weeks? He can bring you."

"I-I would love that. So much."

"As would I, dear. Now go on. I love you."

"I love you, too. I-I'll call you?"

"Agreed."

We share a wide smile as I close the door behind her.

-


	14. The Candy Incident That Scared the Shit out of Frank Iero

Frank's POV

I'm stuck grading tests from all the senior classes on a Sunday. Which is supposed to be a day of rest. Well, no, that's not what I'm fucking getting. My brain is fried. Checking work drags me back to my days as an actual student, and it's miserable. Why on earth did I get a job as a teacher? Oh yeah, because I had no clue what I wanted to do with my lame-ass life. "Be a rockstar" was considered unrealistic by my family, even though they saw my ability to play guitar the way I can. So, what did I do? Choose one of the easiest things for me to get a degree for, which of course, was teaching. Three cheers for me. My head is about to explode to the moon when my phone goes off.

A text from Gerard.

Oh thank God, he's just saved my head.

Gee: forgot to tell you my grandma really wants to meet you, too :)

Me: really??! When?!

Gee: as soon as we're all able, is what she said

Me: I'm about to piss myself I'm that excited

Gee: oh god please don't

Me: shut it hah. Well so far I'm free the next two weekends for sure. Let me know?

Gee: definitely

That's the end of our convo until about a minute later I receive another text from Gerard, one I'm least expecting

Gee: I love you

My heart leapt. Damn feeling like a high schooler again with this gooey lovestruck crap that I surprisingly missed so much.

Me: I know

After maybe 30 seconds I send 'I love you too, beautiful' to him, then continue on with my work, I newfound energy kick in my system.

-

The week passed uneventfully, albeit Thursday, which my parents wanted to treat me to dinner for my birthday. Yay. It was nice, except they asked a fuck ton of questions about a fuck ton of random stuff. Including if I "have found myself a nice young lady" yet. You guessed it, my parents are homophobic. Well, not to a full-out extent like the psychos at Westboro Baptist Church, they usually don't have a problem with gays, as long as they keep to themselves, and my parents keep to theirselves. It's just me they're upset about. They wanted a perfect little family, complete with a son who has a loving wife, two kids, a dog, and a nice white picket fence house with a well-paying job, like a doctor. Did I mention to them that in fact there is somebody in my life? No. Solely because they know I teach and if they found out about Gerard and his age they'd immediately be suspicious, let alone not like him from the start. I just wish there was a different way Gerard and I could have met sometimes. We like the same things, shop at the same stores, we'd be bound to run into one another, right? Our whole situation is a mess, and I admit, it sometimes stresses me to no end. This usually leads me to writing out my feelings in my songs. It helps a hell of a lot.

Finally, though, it's Friday the 31st. Of October. Also known as Halloween. Also known as my birthday. Fuck yeah! At school today I just played Nightmare Before Christmas for all my classes. Gerard was obviously happy about that, I noticed him kick his feet excitedly when I told his bell and smile widely at me then toward his friend Andy, who shared his enthusiasm. He was so adorable in that instant, I couldn't help but give him a happy kind of smirk. After his bell had ended, Gerard had stayed behind like he usually does. As soon as the last student leaves he throws himself at me, shouting happy birthday at me and me, in turn, nearly shitting my pants on the spot in shock. I wrap in the tightest hug I could muster.

"Thank you, oh so much, your royalty." I bow down to Gerard, obviously. What person in their right mind wouldn't? Nobody! Exactly! That's what I thought.

"Oh my God stop that, Frankie." That giggle of his escapes his lips as he says that, I've embarrassed the crap out him. Yes, my only goal in life. I stand back up dramatically and put my hands behind my back, straightening up like a guard at Buckingham Palace.

"But I must treat my highness with the utmost respect!" I try out the most posh British accent I can then clap my heels together before stepping closer to that shy, black haired boy, in a fit of giggles and a red face, and pull his embarrassed body close to my confident, goofy one. I place quick, messy kisses all over his face, finishing off on his button nose. Gerard's hands are resting on my chest now, still giggling like crazy.

Respecting the royalty I have the honor of being in the presence of, I start to pull away, when the aforementioned black-haired highness grabs my face and places his soft, innocent lips on mine. Our lips move together perfectly, said every couple to ever exist, probably, but it really is true. I deepen the kiss, only a little, wanting to keep it chaste and memorable.

I'm only slightly aware of a slight noise near the door.

"Hey, Frank, I came to ask if y- oh, shit!"

Never before have I moved as quickly in my life as I did just then. Same for Gerard, I can only presume. We had broken apart as fast as grease lightning. The visitor just caught two deer in headlights. Seriously, both our eyes were nearly popping right of their sockets, our chests heaving up and down heavily as we tried to catch our breaths.

"W-well then, I. Shit, um. Okay literally no words." Patrick spilled from his mouth in a hurried fluster, his face starting to turn red, just like both Gerard and I's already were.

"You know, when I saw you at the bar," Patrick continues after an awkward moment, "I thought you looked familiar, but I couldn't, for the life of me, place why. Well, I know now. I've seen you around school. Though, weirdly, never had you as a student."

"I-I-um, I, uh.." Okay, no words are coming out of Gerard's mouth either, but that's not surprising is it? He just frantically looks at me.

"Patrick, yo-you're not, aren't you going to report this?"

"I did think about it at first but then I placed where I knew him from." He points at Gerard, which makes Gerard himself curl into his body, making him smaller.

"And?"

"Well, at the gig the one night, I, I saw you two. Afterwards and all, as I was leaving. Frank, I've never seen you smile so wide and your eyes light up so much in the short time that I've known you. I remember my heart hurting a little bit when I saw you two. I thought to myself, 'wow, now that's what real love is' and, I meant to question you about him, but it slipped my mind and I never thought to do it."

Silence fills the room again.

"Honestly, I won't tell a soul. Just, don't hurt him, Frank, one, he's your student, two, he's probably not even of age yet. Right?" The question directs to Gerard, who just nods in return.

"He's young, needs taking care of, an-"

"Frank's proven himself enough to me already." A quiet voice pipes up.

Gerard.

"H-he stood up for me when he witnessed me get, s-se- bullied, and the kids got in trouble, so... Mr. Stump he really is caring, okay?" Gerard steps toward us, his eyes watery and wide, the green in them brought out within the unreleased tears. Patrick smiles at him.

"I know, kid. He actually has brought up that situation before. He practically vented all his anger on that out on me."

The two share a small smile.

"I-I um, should get to my next class, um ...yeah." The awkward shit that I love shuffles to his stuff in a hurry before smiling at me, then Patrick, and leaving.

"Well then... oh yeah, Frank, I came here to ask about Halloween. Doing anything?"

"Wh-? Oh, yeah. Um, Gerard and I are actually... yeah."

P Stumpizzle, wait, what? Ignore that, smirks at me knowingly.

"I shoulda known after that incident, actually. Well, be good and have fun, yeah? We can hang out on Sunday, maybe?"

"Sure thing, let me know, man!"

"Will do, Frankenstein. Happy Birthday." I scoff, mocking offense, at the nickname tossed at me as Patrick pats my arm then leaves the room.

What are the odds, out of the entire population of people within the school building right now, that it'd be one of my best friends to walk in? Instead of, oh I don't know, say, the Principal.

I'm pretty sure God is real, now.

-

I've got everything set up for tonight: tons of movies, check. Tons of junk food, check. Blankets for cuddles, check. Pillows, heck yeah. My dinosaur onesie, you got it. I got Gerard one, too. A skeleton. I've noticed he's fascinated with, like, all things dead, so I saw that and thought of him immediately, and I couldn't pass it up. Yeah, it's my birthday and I'm giving something to my boyfriend. Nice. Gerard's car has been back from the shop for about a month now, so he decided he'd just drive himself, so I provided him with my address so he could simply hook it up in his GPS app. Smartphones are damn useful. It's nearing 6:00 pm, which the both of us had decided was a good time to start, so he had time to hang out with his friends at least a little bit. I'm anxious, actually. I know tonight will be rad. I just can't wait to spend the whole night with him, in the privacy of my small house, knowing we won't be accidentally interrupted.

Before I know it, there's a nervous tapping at my door, and I leap to my feet in utter excitement. I got to the door as fast as freaking Sonic the Hedgehog. Gotta go fast! Gerard instinctively took a shocked step backwards at the sudden motion I made with swinging the door open. His bright, hazel eyes were wide and staring at me, a smile slowly creeping its way onto his round face.

"Someone's excited."

"It's my birthday, I have a right. And it's Halloween. Giving me another right." I scoff, crossing my arms and tilting my head upward in snootiness.

"Hah, yeah if you were 3 instead of 23." The beautiful boy clad in all-black clothes, fitting tight, and just his size laughs at my 'immaturity'. Resorting to be an adult and doing what adults should do, of course, mind you, I stick my tongue out at him, which he reciprocates before I grab his hand and pull him into the tiny house. I hadn't even noticed the black and orange jack-o-lantern gift bag he was carrying in his other hand. Until he brought it up, of course.

"For someone who's acting like a child on his birthday, I'm surprised your attention didn't get drawn automatically to the bag in my hand." Gerard states very nonchalantly as I lead him to the couch, the pizza having arrived 5 minutes before he did.

"Wh-?" My eyes fall to the bag. "Oh my God you got me something."

"You're my fucking boyfriend and it's your birthday of course I have stuff for you, goof." Gee smiles widely and lifts the bag slightly toward me for me to take, but I just place my hand over his on the bag and pull him into me, Gerard gasping shyly as usual, score for me.

"Hi." Confidence radiating through my voice as I glance back and forth between both of his eyes due to our now close proximity.

"H-hi." My little emo squeaks. I remove my hand from his that I had been holding since I pulled him into the house and gently caress his soft cheek before I lean in and up just a tad and chastely kiss him.

"There's various things, in the bag. I just thought it was easier to put them all in there than wrapping them individually." Gerard quietly speaks, our lips brushing as he said that because we hadn't moved.

"You were just lazy, weren't you?"

That caught him by surprise.

"Shut up." He blushes and buries his face in my neck. "Just open them."

"Now?"

"W-well, no, if you don't want to just yet... whenever is fine, actually, I mean, do what you wa-"

"I'll open 'em."

Oh wait the onesies! Those first, most definitely.

"ButIgottausethebathroomholdon."Hed the words rush out of my lips and before Gerard can question me, I'm bounding up the stairs. Because the onesies are fleece, I take off my clothes and leave just my boxers on underneath the warm fabric of the green dinosaur. I look at myself in the mirror and laugh at my appearance before putting up the hood and grabbing Gerard's skeleton onesie I had left on the foot of my bed. I make it downstairs, attempting to be as quiet as a mouse, and peek around the corner to see Gerard's back facing me, him curled up in a ball on the edge of the couch flipping through the movies I had laid out. His shoes already off and under the coffee table. Being the sneaky mouse I am at the moment, I tread up behind him and put my arms over his shoulders and "rawr", like, literally, I just say 'rawr' into his left ear before biting friendly on the lobe. Gerard had jumped as high as a startled cat, but calmed down when he realized it was only me. Instead of like, horror, his worst nightmare. The world's worst nightmare. Justin Bieber. Oh God, the chills, I'm gonna have nightmares for a week now.

"What the fuck are you wearing?!" Gerard turns his head to look at me, his hands on top of mine.

"A onesie! The best thing on the face of this earth! Especially for a night like ours."

"It. It's, a, uh-" I got him speechless, aww yiss.

"A DINOSAUR, GEE. I'M A MOTHERFUCKING T-REX LOOK AT MY TAIL." I exclaim, a wide smile on my face as I excitedly turn around 5 times admiring my awesome tail.

"I'm dating the most adorable person ever." Gerard just shakes his head in disbelief with a smile on his face.

"I got you one too, Babe." My personality goes from 3 year old to adult in a matter of .5 seconds. A smirk set on my face as I bend down to the skeleton outfit I had dropped to hand to Gerard. He looks at it quizzically before letting it unfold before him, holding it by the shoulders.

"A skeleton?! Oh my God, Frankie I love it! But, why did you get me this? It's your birthday after all."

"No bother, really. I saw them a couple weeks ago and had to get 'em, so now here they are." I motion dramatically with my arms to my onesie-clad body.

"Go change, Gee. What are you waiting for?" I smile at him, gesturing for him to get a move on.

"Don't you dare peek in that bag!" Gerard shouts at me as he's running up the small set of stairs to the second floor, where the only bathroom in the house is located.

"Wasn't planning on it, but you've got me all curious now that you mention it." I shout back as I eye the Halloween-themed bag. I hear a screech from upstairs, which scares the shit of me, my heart plummeting to my stomach as I think of all the possible scenarios Gerard could be in, before he runs down, the top two buttons undone on the onesie, showing the top of his pale chest.

"Don't you dare." He playfully screams at me as he makes his way over to me, still running, and jumps on me, making us both fall onto the couch, 'oomph'ing at the impact.

"I wasn't going to, I swear!" I manage throughout laughter as skeleton boy runs his hands through my shoulder-length hair.

"Good boy." Gerard brings his lips to mine for a quick, innocent peck before clambering off of me to sit beside me.

"Open 'em open 'em open 'em!" Gerard bounces up and down on the couch slightly, his hair moving freely with the movement. I admire the wondrous sight for a second before sitting up.

"Fine! I will! Presents for me!" I make grabby hands for the bag, arms outstretched and pouty lip and all. Gerard just rolls his eyes and hands me the bag and kisses my cheek.

"Happy birthday, Sugar."

We share a small smile before I start digging in. I'm about to start opening my gifts when I remember Gee in his skeleton onesie, so I take a second to check him out.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" He questions, narrowing his eyes quizzically.

"Looking at you like what? I was looking at the onesie. It looks great, by the way."

"Wh-? Oh," he lets out a quick laugh before continuing, "Thank you." Gerard sheepishly smiles.

"Enough about me, it's your birthday, idiot. Open your presents already!" Gerard playfully nudges my arm before snuggling up to my side, resting his head on my shoulder.

"If you do insist, kind sir." I mock in a British accent.

"Not that again, for the love of God." I can sense he's rolling his eyes.

"Fine, fine." I reach into the bag to grab the first thing, it's small and square-shaped. I unwrap the black tissue paper Gerard covered it in to reveal an all too familiar skeletal face, with "Misfits" written above it. Already excited and smiling like a fool, I turn to look at its side, for it to be further revealed that it's a boxset of their cd's. Yes! I already own majority of the cd's, but due to me loving them a bit too much, they're really scratched.

"Gerard! Oh my fucking God! How did you know?"

"Well first off I've seen, in my times being here, numerous Misfits shirts scattered around your bedroom floor, used a Misfits mug you have, and saw you admiring Misfits stuff when we've gone out before... so, I dunno, I saw that and got it." He shrugs his shoulders and nuzzles his head to mine.

"Well, I love it."

"Thank God." He laughs in relief, aw, bless him. He's nervous. I reach in to grab the second thing, this time rectangle shaped. Having no idea what it could be, I open it with caution to find 'Converse' branded on the box. It's a new pair of black chucks! Well, I take it Gerard noticed my obviously worn out pair.

"You desperately needed a new pair, dude." I nod in agreement.

"I really fucking did, thank you."

"Now you can throw that ratty pair out." I gasp.

"No way! They have memories I must preserve!"

"Suuuure."

"They do!"

"Oh my God keep the silly shoes, then, assbutt."

"Assbutt?"

Gerard curls in slightly as I question him and nuzzles further into my neck to hide himself.

"That's from Supernatural."

"How did you know that?!" Gerard shoots up from cuddling me and looks at me with wide eyes.

"Dude, I've watched it. I don't watch it as religiously as I used to, but hey, I consider myself a fan." Gerard's smile grows as I say that, well, somebody's in the SPN Family.

"It's my favorite tv show."

"Is it?"

He nods his head excitedly.

"Well, just your luck, then, I happen to own the first season. We can include a few of the episodes in our marathon."

"Please please please!"

"It's settled then."

"Yes!!" Gerard lunges at me and pulls me into a strong hug. I kiss his forehead while rubbing his back, giving it a squeeze and us both pulling away to our former positions.

The next thing I pull out of the bag is smaller, and coincidentally, also square shaped. I unwrap the tissue paper from this one and my heart leaps to find it to be a picture of us. I had stolen his phone and was taking derpy selfies while we were out to eat and he was using the restroom and made the stupid move of leaving his phone on the table. My back had been facing the direction of the bathroom so I didn't noticed him until he slid into my side of the booth next to me and wrapped his arms around my torso and kissed my cheek. My expression automatically went from silly to loving and I had captured a rather cute shot of us: me looking at the camera, smiling, knowing Gerard was looking at me with his chin on my shoulder. I never knew how he was looking at me until now. There was an adoration in his eyes, I could see. And it made my heart swell. I love this photo.

"Gerard, I, I love it. So much."

"I was hoping you would." He replies in a calm, quiet state. I lift my hand to his face and lift his chin with my index finger, turning my face to face his, and place a loving, passionate, but remaining innocent kiss on his lips.

"I love you." I manage to speak after we part.

"I love you, too. My little five year old!" He smiles widely all of a sudden and raises a hand to my hair and ruffles it, earning a small scream from me.

"Hah hah I messed with your hair." He sing songs. I just stick my tongue out at him, not in the mood to get him back for his cruelty to my head before I go for the last thing in the bag, the object being relatively flat. It's slightly flimsy, and feels to be supported with a piece of cardboard in the back. Tearing off the paper, I am met with a black manila folder that has my name written elegantly on it in silver sharpie. Opening that, I find a letter on the inside, from Gerard, obviously, and I look at him. He just blushes furiously and glances anywhere but at me before curling into a ball, bringing his legs up to his chest and holding them there with his arms, resting his face in the crook between his legs, so all that is visible of his face under the hood of the onesie is his eyes and the top half of his elf-like nose. Gerard watches me intently as I read the heartfelt letter that said:

Frankie,

Ever since we first met, you've been nothing short of supportive, and more importantly, caring. The first time you fully flustered me is when you had picked up my drawing for me that had fallen out of my folder at the end of that one class that feels like ages ago. You practically threw compliments at me. I had never experienced anything of the sort before. Yes, I've gotten compliments saying I was good at what I did, but nothing compared to how you showed it. I remember it felt strange, but I liked it. When you had questioned me further about it, I was so reluctant to admit I had actually created a comic of my own. But let me tell you, I am so, so glad I did. I've found myself to be a bit more open about my art and expressing myself. The only other person who has ever been able to do that is my grandma.

So, thank you, Frank. For being you and helping me become more confident with myself and who I am, even if it's only a little bit.

Enjoy your gift!

I love you.

xoxoGee

Before I continued, I took Gerard's interlocked hands and gave them a squeeze before leaning over to kiss his nose, which he scrunched up. That face he made was priceless and adorable. Oh God, I love it so much I could have it tattooed on my forehead (haha kidding.. just kidding.). I move the letter over to reveal a hand drawn, well, a copy of something hand drawn, but the coloring in is obviously not copied, of the Eiffel Tower, falling in destruction in the dark, stormy looking background. In the bottom front, 5 intimidating people stared back at me, all with black masks over their eyes. The top reading "The Umbrella Academy". I started flipping through it as realization hit me. This was Gerard's comic. All of this, his. His story. His writing. His drawing. His, everything. Poured into this. Fucking amazing.

"Gerard this is beautiful." That's an understatement. I'm beyond amazed at this. The way the sharp turns of face shapes and body parts form together to create whole, unique figures. I've never seen a drawing style even remotely similar to his. That's another reason I love it. It gives me something I've never seen before that I could just take in and study for ages.

"R-really?" Gerard squeaks so quietly, I barely heard him. When I looked at him, he was still in the same curled up position, but he had lifted his head, only slightly, and there was the biggest sparkle in his wide eyes I had ever seen.

"Would I lie?" I raise an eyebrow.

"N-no..."

"My point exactly." I reluctantly set Gerard's art down on the junk food-filled coffee table and scoot against him, pulling him into my side.

"Thank you. So much. I love all of it. Especially your art. Especially your letter. And most definitely," *nose boop* "you. You hear me?"

"Yes." Gerard wraps his arms around my torso and hugs himself tightly to the side of my body.

"Let's eat this pizza, oh my God I forgot about it!" I exclaim once I notice the still closed pizza boxes with paper plates and napkins stacked on top.

"PIZZA." Gerard practically yells in the deepest voice he could muster as he throws himself off of me and sits on his legs on the floor between the table and couch, piling 3 slices of extra cheese pizza onto his plate. Afterwards noticing the soda cans I have out and reaching for a Voltage Mountain Dew.

"Time to stuff our faces and do nothing with our lives for the night!" Gerard exclaims excitedly, a smile on his face, chewed up pizza in his mouth, not a care in the world, as I'm also piling pizza onto my plate, then grabbing a Pepsi.

"Whaddya wanna watch first, Baby?"

"Ghostbusters. Please. I beg you."

"I'm not complaining! That shit is classic and Bill Murray is hilarious." I laugh and pick up the movie from the small collection I had set by the table and put it in the player for my medium-sized flatscreen. Nothing fancy, but it works great. We finished eating the pizza about 5 minutes into the movie and now half an hour in, to my contentment, Gerard is cuddled up against me on my right side on the couch, his arm slung lazily across my waist and his head resting on me between my upper chest and shoulder. I have my arm around the back of his waist, my hand resting on his hipbone, rubbing small circles with my thumb while my other hand is used for feeding us candy. Whenever Gerard wants a piece he sticks his head forward, only slightly, opening his mouth like a baby bird when it's momma comes back with dinner. I'm about to plop a Rolo into his mouth before he sits up and grabs the bowl from my side, resting it on our legs. We both continue munching away on the sugary goodness and enjoy one of the best movies to exist.

After 10 minutes of contended silence between us I notice my bladder is aching for relief. I excuse myself to use the bathroom and kiss the top of Gerard's head before going upstairs to use the toilet. Once I clear my pee level and start washing my hands, I hear a small thud then some clattering. Worried as fuck, I dry my hands off as quickly as possible and pound down the stairs to find Gerard collapsed by the coffee table, the dvds scattered on the floor around him and cans of soda also fallen.

"GERARD!" I screech at the top of my lungs, racing toward him and falling down right by him. He's unconscious. Right? Oh God, oh God, oh God. Fuckfuckfuck.

I'm about to do mouth-to-mouth when I notice smudged chocolate on his bottom lip. That wasn't there before. He must have choked on a piece. I manage to sit him up and place myself behind him, putting my arms around him and interlocking my hands properly, and placing them where they belong to do the Heimlich maneuver. After a few thrusts upward and inward to Gerard, my heart beating rapidly, the damn Rolo that lodged itself in his mouth was forced out with the force of the Heimlich I just preformed. I let out a huge sigh in relief, and almost start to completely relax when I notice.

Gerard is still like a limp noodle.

My heart stops.

No.

He can't have.

Not on a fucking piece of candy of all things.

My hands find their way to under his nose again.

Shit.

Tears forming in my eyes, I move my hand to find his pulse.

I don't find one.

FUCK!

I immediately place him back down as I prepare myself to start CPR. I'm up on my knees and place my hands on top of one another, interlocking my fingers, on the center of his chest. Using my upper body, I push straight down into Gerard's chest. I need to get his heart restarted. I reach 30 chest compressions and still, there's no sign of consciousness. I move on to mouth-to-mouth in a frantic hurry and straddle his hips delicately before tilting Gerard's head back slightly and lifting his chin, opening the airway. I pinch closed the bridge of his nose and place my mouth on Gerard's.

It feels so different.

Well, of-fucking-course it does, Frank. He's not fucking conscious!

I gather myself and give two, 1-second breaths into Gerard. I notice his chest rise, meaning that it's starting to work. I have to do another 30 compressions again, and yet, still nothing.

Even though it feels like it's been over and hour, the most it's been is 2 minutes. Tears quietly making their way down my face, I go for mouth-to-mouth again. Breathing in the two breaths, I'm starting to lose faith when I don't see any signs of consciousness when I feel Gerard hum contendedly into my mouth and take a huge breath, letting air into his alive-again lungs. I'm so overwhelmed that I collapse on top of him and put my face in the crook of his neck. Gerard just wraps his legs around my waist, holding me close with his arms as well. I place joyous kisses on his neck and work my way to his collarbone, since, if you remember, he had left the top two buttons undone on his onesie in a frenzy, and suck, leaving an overjoyed love mark and trailing up the other side of his neck then down his jawline, to both of his cheeks, his forehead, his nose, then finally, his lips, which I place as gently as possible, even though I wanted to kiss the fuck out of him with all I had bottled up at that instant. Starting to pull away, Gerard moves one of his hands to the back of my head and entangles it in my hair before pulling my face to his, kissing me deeply and sloppily.

"Fuck." He lets out as I bite gently on his bottom lip and pull, breaking away and saying, "Don't... you... ever... do... that... again." Each word said between a hungry kiss, our touches getting hotter.

"I didn't do it on purpose." He breathes out as I start sucking on his neck, him arching his back and moaning as I nip at the crook in the pale neck. The gorgeous moan instinctively made me buck my hips into his, making us both let out moans at the rippling pleasure that radiated up through our bodies. I grunt at him in response, the mixed feelings, physical and emotional, disgruntling my train of thought.

"Thank you." He sheepishly lets out, and I stop kissing him, me at his collarbone at the time now, to look into his face. It's pink and flushed, from our physical states, his embarrassment, and from still recovering from unconsciousness.

"O-of course. Yeah. Mhmm." I breathe out. I saved his life. Wow. The realization just hit me. I look down deep into his eyes again and whisper an 'I love you' before attacking his mouth with my own in a kiss filled with compassion and concern, love and desperation. And before I know it, Gerard's hips are rolling into mine, creating a friction between us. Short, breathy moans are spilling both of our mouths as I reciprocate his thrusts, us timing them together perfectly.

"Oh, fuck, Frankie." Gerard moans as I thrust a little bit harder suddenly. He in turn kisses me hungrily and starts messily undoing the snaps of my dinosaur onesie.

"Gee, what are you-?"

"Please." He interrupts me, rolling his hips up into me particularly slowly, teasing me, biting his bottom lip.

Fuck, that's a sight to see. I nod my head then as quick as can be, Gerard flung the onesie off of my shoulders, me having to do the rest of the work on my lower half, until I'm in just my boxers. I turn back to Gerard to find he had somehow managed to get his off, it thrown aimlessly to the side, him leaning up on his elbows, legs open. I immediately notice the growing tent in his boxers and smirk, crawling in between his open legs, my hands trailing up his thighs and sides before going underneath his back, bringing him into me. The friction is beginning to become unbearable.

"Ungh." Gerard lets out as I grind deeply into him. I lift my head from the crook of his neck to see him rubbing the back of his head. I give him a quizzical look, stopping my motions.

"I hit my head on the floor." Gerard admits. I smile at him and shake my head. I removed myself from on top of him, hearing a whine at his loss of contact. I hold my hands out for Gerard to take and pull him up, him immediately crashing his lips onto mine when he stood fully up. His hands trail delicately down spine, giving me shivers, before resting on my ass and groping. I groan into his mouth and buck my hips upward, making him gasp in surpise, giving me the opportunity to explore his mouth with my tongue. Gerard moans in acceptance at my sudden gesture and plays with my tongue with his own. I fumble backwards in our heated make out session and land lightly on the couch, Gerard falling on top of me. The pressure that our lower halves made at contact sent another set of ripples through our slightly sticky bodies. Gerard's hands were still on my butt, my hands groping the upper back of his thighs, our grinding picking up a regular rhythm. Suddenly, I feel Gerard's smooth hands playing with the waistband of my boxers at either side of my hips. Giving one last, pleasure-filled grind into me, he lifts himself slightly and yanks my boxers completely off of me before plopping down on top of me again, never breaking our kissing. That kiss didn't last much longer. He gave me one last, long kiss on the lips, pulling on my bottom lip as he pulled away, then let go, trailing down my neck and chest, going lower and lower.

Shit.

Is he-?

Oh my God, he is.

"Gerard, you really don't have to do-" I manage to shakily let out before Gerard brings his face back up to mine and pecks my already swollen lips.

"Oh, Sugar, but I want to." He seductively purred at me, lightly rubbing his hands up and down my chest before all-too-quickly finding his way between my legs.

Before I had time to protest yet again, his warm mouth was around my aching dick and taking me in further. All my protests were swiped from my mind as the most intense pleasure overtook my trembling body.

-


	15. Why Would Something Like That Be A Phase?

Gerard's POV

Right.

So...

I didn't think that would ever happen. Any time soon, at least.

Well, I was damn wrong.I gave my boyfriend a blowjob, and yes, I actually didn't mind it. Which shocked me as much as him. When I had finished my, ahem, job, before Frank could do anything in return, I slipped his boxers back on and lazily fell on top of him, giving him a sweet peck on his cheek before cuddling into his side.

"I feel like I should repay-"

"Nope."

"Bu-"

"Nope I'm not hearing it. I'm fine."

"Gee-"

"It's your birthday not mine." I just earned a defeated sigh, signaling I won my case. I reached over to the table and grabbed another Voltage Mountain Dew. I swear they're my weakness. Whoever hasn't tried one has not lived to the fullest, and I know it. Popping open the tab, I took a sip before focusing back on the movie. It was within the last 15 minutes. Wow, we had been busier than I thought.

"So much for watching Ghostbusters, then."

"Hah! Yeah that plan went along well." I nod my head as I sit up to set my soda down. Frank sat up as well and stretched.

"Thank you for getting up on your own accords. I didn't want to say anything but my butt was starting to get numb and my back was hurting."

"Dude you easily could have told me."

"Like I said, I didn't want to, Babe." Frank wrapped his arm around my side and pulled me in before kissing my temple. It was then that I noticed our onesies on the ground. Immediately, I sprung up like a jumping bean and scurried over to my skeleton one and shrugged it on, buttoning it up. When I turned around, Frank was sat just looking at me with a smile on his face. He shook his head and put his face in his hands.

"What did I do?!" a smile tugs at my lips.

"Just... one second you're sexual as fuck and driving me crazy then the next second you're like a 5 year old child and melting my heart. It confuses me." At this I fold my hands together and look down blushing, swaying my upper body side to side lightly. Before I know it, green dinosaur feet are in front my own and Frank's hand gently cups my chin and lifts my face to look at him.

"I love you." His classic smug smile is plastered on his face, making me instantly smile.

"I love you, too, idiot." I shove him playfully, widening my smile before turning to the TV. Ghostbusters had just ended. I went to take out the dvd and switch it with, you guessed it, Nightmare Before Christmas. Yes, Frank played it in class this morning, but because it wasn't our double bell, we didn't get to finish watching it.

"How would I have known?"

"Because you know me so well." I casually reply before standing up.

"I've got ice cream. Want some?"

"Hell yes! What flavor?"

"It's triple chocolate or something. Chocolate ice cream with brownie chunks and chocolate fudge sauce interlaced through it. It looked so delicious I had to get it."

Just hearing the description made my stomach rumble, and he heard it as well.

"Looks like you want some, then!" Frank grabbed my hand and we walked to the kitchen chanting "ICE CREAM" over and over again. We each scooped ourselves 3 scoops. Still being growing boys, of course, we have intense hunger to feed. I took one small bite and my knees almost buckled. That's how good this ice cream was.

"Ohhmehgawf." Is what my intentional words sounded like as they escaped my chocolatey-filled mouth.

"RigHT? I'm in heaven. God can take me now. I can die happy. This is all I need in life. This ice cream. I'm good. Eating this forever now." I just nod contentedly in agreement as we sit down and press play on the menu of the movie and continue with the night. After that movie was over, I had finished my Mountain Dew that I had cracked open earlier, and desperately had to pee. Because, well, caffeine does that to you. I got back and Frank had put in Supernatural. I squealed and jumped over the back of the couch to land softly beside him and cuddle deeply into him. We were gonna stay up well into the night.

-

When I woke up in the morning, I noticed I was by myself, wondering where Frank was, I started to groggily look around the room. Then I faintly heard the sound of running water. Frank was showering.

I checked the time and saw that it was 11:30. After making quick contemplation, I began to creep up the stairs. If luck were in my favor, Frank would have just gotten in the shower. I stripped out my onesie and boxers just outside the ajar bathroom door. I creaked it open as slow and little as possible. Still, I was unnoticed by Frank. He was humming something to himself, completely oblivious to me. I snuck up to the shower, his front facing the stream of the steaming water. So I stepped in, managing to remain quiet like a cat the entire time.

"Hi, Frankie." I quietly said into his ear once I slipped my arms around his waist. He jumped slightly at the unexpected human life stood behind him before calming down.

"Don't scare me like that. You did that enough yesterday." Remembering that I had choked, I lowered my head, resting it on his shoulder, giving it a small kiss.

"You saved my life, you know." I very quietly pipe up after a moment or so. Frank turned around and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in.

"I was so scared, Gerard. That moment made me realize how much you already mean to me. I couldn't dare lose you. No matter what the circumstances." Tears pricked my eyes.

"I-I don't want to lose you, either. L-let's lighten the mood, yeah?" I attempted a smile.Frank smiled back at me before grabbing the shampoo and squirting some into my hair.

Our first shower together.

We had washed each other, giving small kisses in various places on our bodies. And it was nothing sexual at all. In all honesty, I felt love radiating between us in that instance.

Cheesy romantic shit, I know.

Now it was half past noon and I was getting hungry. Luckily we hadn't wharfed down all the pizza from last night, so we had enough to reheat and eat. Suddenly my phone started buzzing, and I checked it to see it was an incoming call. From my mom.

"Hi, Mom."

"Hi, sweetie, how was your night?"

"It was fun. We watched a ton of Halloween movies and, well, it being Halloween and all, ate candy. Not just candy though, we had pizza and stuff."

"That's all?"

Was she hinting at what I think she was?

"Really, Mom?" I put emphasis on the 'really' in a way to let her know that she knows me well enough to not have to worry about that.

"Fine, fine, you got me. But anyways, I called because I'd like it if you came home."

"Why...?"

With some obvious hesitation, Mom continued.

"Mikey came home drunk late last night."

"What?"

She knows how much Mikey means to me. I would never want him hurt or endangering himself in any way, shape, or form.

"I know, I know. He had to have gotten it from friends, don't you think?"

Damn my friends.

Well, one friend in particular would start this.

Fucking hell, Pete.

Thanks Pete!

"I can think of one, Mom."

"Okay, okay. But could you please come home? I really do hate to break your time with Frank, who I've yet to meet," Wow, Mom, way to sneak that one in. "and Mikey isn't gonna want to deal with me when he stirs back to consciousness."

She had a point.

"Yeah, yeah, that's fine, Mom. I'll be home as soon as I can." The whole time I had this conversation, Frank was trying to listen intently to my side of the convo, while eating away at his leftover pizza, and playing with my feet under the table. I hang up after saying goodbye and sigh, my mind in multiple places.

"What is it?"

"Mikey came home drunk somehow last night and my mom wants me home." I rush out before I start to finish my pizza.

"He came home drunk? Do you have any idea how?"

"Probably from our friend Pete."

"Damn."

"Could you.. take me home?"

"What kind of question is that, silly? Of course I will."

I hum in agreement then shove the last bite into my mouth before standing up and taking the plate to the sink and go upstairs to get my bag I had packed. I stuff my onesie in and zip it up, bringing it back downstairs. Frank was walking around getting all the things he had to get to take me back home. Once ready, we walked out the door and to his car.

After a 10 minute drive, Frank pulled up to a street a couple away from mine. Making my walk 3 minutes to my house. We kiss goodbye and I exit the car, still happy about our "date".

-

As soon as I get through the door I'm met with my mom, who just points upstairs, signifying Mikey's in his room. I nod to her and bound up to confront him. To be honest, I'm actually pretty mad at him. Our dad had been an alcoholic in his past, before us, and he had stressed how bad it was and how he didn't want us to get into the habit. So I have always been wary of alcoholic beverages and drinking, as has Mikey. I've been afraid that the addiction would run in the family, if that could happen at all. Once I reach Mikey's room, the door is closed, music muffled through it. It sounds like Against Me!, a great band in my opinion. Knocking on the door, I wait for Mikey's response, allowing me in, before I twist open the door handle and let myself in.

I'm taken aback by the different appearance of his room.

The deep red curtains are drawn over the windows, blocking out any light whatsoever from getting in. Mikey is curled up in his bed with a hoodie over his head. He looks miserable, obviously. Eyes sunken, hair poking out from the hoodie sticking in every other direction, a slight discolor to his face.

"Mikey-" sighing as I approach him cautiously, sitting on the end of the bed.

"I fucked up." The groggy voice interrupts.

"No shit."

Silence.

And stares.

For a couple minutes.

"Was it Pete?"

"No, why does he have that stereotype?"

Shocked that it apparently wasn't Pete who got Mikey drunk, I continue. "W-well, he's... got that vibe, I guess. Party person."

"I mean, yeah, he does go to parties sometimes, gets drunk, but seriously it's not every weekend like in every teenage slash college movie to ever exist."

"Okay... well, then who did it?" Was I expecting an honest answer? No way.

"These, these other high schoolers, not from our school. We were all trick-or-treating of course then came across this group and they invited us to hang out with them after 10 minutes of getting candy together. Me, Ray, and Andy were really hesitant but were pulled along anyways..."I really don't know what to say. I'm thankful, though, that Mikey is home safe. I just look at my younger brother solemnly.

"So yeah, I did get wasted, completely off my head."

"Yeah.. I gathered that..."

"Y-you don't understand, Gee.."

"What do you mean?"

"I-I-shit, I enjoyed it."

My face paled and my heart dropped to my stomach.

No.

He can't have.

There's no way he's going to turn out like our dad was.

I won't let it.

Speaking of Dad, where was he? He's usually in the living room sipping on coffee reading a newspaper or something at this time. I didn't see him at all. I'll ask Mom when I can.

"You know what happened to Dad. You know the stories of how he was."

"I know, which is why I didn't want to go. And, I'm scared, Gerard, I'm really scared. I'm afraid I'll go get drunk again or some shit and then it'll all go downhill from there."

"No, don't think like that, I won't let you."

At this point I had scooted over next to Mikey and was leaning back against the headboard and had my arm around him. Mikey was squeezing my torso tight, trying to prevent himself from crying.

"Hey hey hey, it's okay, alright? I'm here to look out for you and you know I always have and always will. If you want me to help you take extra precautions so you don't spiral down, I will."

"Dad doesn't know I got drunk.. I don't think I want him to know."

"Then I won't say anything. ...though I think you should tell him. But in your own terms."

"O-okay."

"You should sleep, okay?"

Mikey just hums in approval before I detach myself from his grip and tuck him under the black covers of his bed. I go to turn off his music then turn to head out the door, noticing Mikey's breathing is already steady from sleep. I smile to myself and walk over to him, kissing the side of his head gently before leaving, closing his bedroom door behind me.

I make my way downstairs and into the kitchen, where Mom is sat with coffee. Immediately I head over to the coffee pot and pour myself a cup into an Iron Man mug, I love that mug.

"So... how was your night with Frank?" I narrow my eyes at the way she said it, but sat down at the table across from her nonetheless.

"It was great. I told you all this already. We marathoned a ton of movies and ate pizza and candy and drank a lot of soda and I can guarantee you that I will be eating extra healthy this entire week."

Mom had a smile plastered on her face.

"What?"

"I'm just glad, really. It's so nice to see you this happy. I've only ever seen it around Grandma."

I blush at this.

"Well.. he's got an optimism about him, I guess.. about his passions.. and he encourages me to keep my passions up and he really loves it. He reminds me of Grandma in that way."

"I still want to meet him."

"Wel-"

"Meet who?" so there's Dad.

"Frank. Gerard's boyfriend." Mom, thankfully, answers for me.

"Gerard's what?"

"Boyfriend." I answer quietly, shrinking into my coffee.

"You're a fag?"

"Donald! Don't speak like that to our son! You knew this! He came out to us, remember?"

"I thought it was a phase!"

"Why would something like that be a phase?"

"I don't know, because he was 'exploring'?"

"I thought you were fine with his sexuality, you seemed to handle it well when he told us."

"Like I said-"It's like I wasn't even there anymore. I was curled up in a ball on the chair sipping on my coffee, silent tears streaming down my face. My phone started buzzing, Frank was texting me.

Sadly, this drew my dad's attention, and he saw the contact photo. Before I could grab it, he snatched it.

"Hey!" I countered. He clicked the middle button of my iPhone, to reveal my lockscreen.

A picture of us, obviously.

A picture of us kissing, from when Lindsey was sneaking photos of us. Frank's arms were wrapped around my waist, holding me close to his body, one arm around his shoulders and the other hand cupping his neck. My dad's face grew redder as he looked at it, his hands starting to shake. He tossed the phone to me.

My dad glared at my slightly red, tear-stained face before he turned around, grabbing his keys and jacket. I heard him mumble 'no son of mine is gay' before he slammed the door behind him and left.

I broke down in that instant. Pained sounds from me echoed through the now eerily different house as I wrapped my hands in my hair, knotting them and tugging. I was vaguely aware of my mom trying to soothe me. I threw my fists onto the table, silencing her and making her jump at my sudden action, before I threw my head in between my arms on the table.

I sounded like a dying whale, if I had to describe it as anything. I felt my mom's hand rubbing my back. I'm surprised I hadn't woken Mikey up with how loud my crying has gotten. Never did I expect this to happen. My dad has always been loving to us and always helped us through anything we approached him about. I didn't understand.

"I don't know what just got into him..." Mom dared to speak up.

"Just leave me alone."

"Suga-"

"LEAVE ME ALONE, JESUS CHRIST!" I stand up suddenly, the tears still pouring quickly down my face. My mind fuzzy and confused at the recent events, I bound up to my room and lock it, closing my curtains, much like Mikey's, and crawl into my bed. The covers over me blocking me from the world and from the hate. I knew my life wasn't perfect. I was starting to wonder why I had been so happy these past 3 months.

It turns out I had fallen asleep through my cries and, well, emotional pain.

When I woke up it was about 4 in the afternoon. I felt exhausted. My face hurt, my whole body hurt, and I felt this dull ache inside, an emptiness in a way, but hurt at the same time. I decided to do homework. It would take my mind off of things and also leave me to a free Sunday, since I usually did homework on Sundays nowadays. All my homework was finished and some doodles were done around 2 and a half hours later when I heard a light tapping on the door.

"I, came up shortly after you did, but you had fallen asleep.. but, dinner's ready, okay, hun?" Mom's voice was quiet and unsure, of my reaction, I presume.

"Okay." I croak out.

"Do you want to talk abou-"

"No, I just want to eat." I force a smile before getting up from my desk and passing my mom at my bedroom door. She obviously saw how bad I apparently looked right now. When I got downstairs, no surprise, Dad wasn't there. But Mikey was, and he had done a double take when he saw me. There was a look of knowing on his face, so no doubt Mom told him what had occurred.

Dinner was awkward. I stayed silent, picking at my food, but eating all of it, because, yeah, I was really hungry. As soon as I was done I excused myself and went back into my room. My phone was buzzing on my bed as I walked in. Frank was calling. Shit. I forgot my phone, hadn't been replying, Jesus, he was probably worried.

"Hello?" I don't think I sounded as convincing with that as I wanted.

"Gerard! Hi! Oh my God, you-you haven't replied to me, I... I was worried.."

"I fell asleep, Frankie." I'm not lying... just avoiding certain truths. "It's nice hearing your voice." I admit, because it's true, I was missing his comfort and safety he brought me.

"I'm glad. I'm glad you answered, too... I was starting to get into overprotective boyfriend mode."

I giggle at this, thank God, too, I need some laughter right now.

"It's nice hearing your laugh."

"Stop making me blush."

"Never, it's my job."

My eyes are rolling to the back of my skull now.

"Are you okay? I mean, your voice does sound a bit, croaky."

"Oh, y-yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for asking though. But, um, I've got to go, so, I'll see you Monday."

"Okay.. Monday it'll be, then. ...I love you."

"I love you, Frankie." I smile, knowing Frank is doing just the same, then hang up. I still feel exhausted, so I decide to go back to bed. Sleep is my friend today.

-

I'm awakened at around 2 in the morning by a fumbling downstairs. I'm afraid someone broke into our house. Silently and cautiously, I make my way downstairs, with my phone ready in case I need to dial 911. The fumbling gets louder as I approach closer to the source. My heart is pounding at a thousand nervous beats. I peak over the corner and spot the figure. The figure starts speaking to themselves.

It's a voice I recognize, but it's different as well.

That voice belonging to none other than Dad.

At least he's safe, I guess.

But he's... not himself.

"...Dad?" My voice is shaky and kind of quiet.

"Oh, hey, f-faag." His voice slurs and he stumbles around so he's facing my nervous state. My heart panged at the insult.

Is he... drunk?

"You're drunk.."

"S-so what, if, if I a-am?"

"You stopped ages ago. You had a problem, y-you vowed to yourself, us, that you would never.. it was the lowest point of your life."

"Fuck you." His voice bellows.

"Wh-what..?"

"You disappointed me, Gerard. My sons were supposed to be successful, start families with wives. Be the ultimate man."

"Y-you've never been.. l-like this, I-" I tried to hold back the tears brimming in my eyes, but I couldn't. My dad wasn't himself anymore. I was scared.Dad started stumbling to me.

"I didn't have reason to be like this! Until now!" His slow steps a few feet away from me now.

"What are you talking about?!"

"You take it up the ass! How disappointing and fucking disgusting is that, fucker?!" I cringe away at my father's words, whimpering, not concerned about the tears not doubt falling down my face.

"You sicken me. You're disgraceful. You f-fa-faggot." My dad is stood billowing above me, slightly crouching down into myself, his words growled down to me.I feel his hands forcefully grab my hair and shoulder before yanking me up to him.

"I'd love nothing more than to kick you out, you know. But no, your mother wouldn't have that. Can't go disobeying her wishes, can we?" I sob out after he speaks these words, clenching my eyes shut at the emotional and most definitely physical pain he was giving me.I feel my father loosen his grip on me before I'm shakily standing on my own again, my eyes still shut. But due to that, I'm unable to see him rise his hand and painstakingly slap me upside my head, nearly knocking me from my feet.

"You need sense knocked into you." Seething words are shouted at me.The rest of the house has to be stirring by now.Dad pushes me down to the ground, making me hit my head hard on the floor near the front door, where we had made our way to. I see stars and the pain is tremendous. I feel myself go in and out of consciousness. The fear I feel is something straight out of a horror movie. Almost like an axe-murderer cornering his next victim. I move as much as I can away from the man that is not my dad, but he walks straight up to me, crouching down and bundling the front of my shirt in his fist. He raises his other arm, making my eyes widen as I see pure fire in his dark eyes before I almost see darkness when his fist collides with my face.

"You," again. "need," again. "manliness," again. "knocked," again. "into," once more. "you."

"Leave me alone!" I manage to scream out to him, trying my best to get away from his grip. But what would that do? I can't get up. I know I can't. The blood is pooling in my mouth. I can feel it in my nose too. And, oh God, the blood on my dad's hand. By now I hear rustling upstairs before I become vaguely aware of two figures nearing the staircase I'm now by.

"Donald, no!" I hear my mom's voice, angry and sad. Before my mom and brother are able to stop him, my dad lifts me up, I'm begging one thing after another for him to stop.

"You ... and that fucking fag ... are ... burn, son." I manage to hear as consciousness slowly slips in and out for me before he tosses me down, Mikey managing to get downstairs just in time and catch my upper body before I could hit my head.

Muffled shouts are all I hear as my vision blurs and my drunken father leaves my mind as I go to sleep.

-


	16. The Night When Frank Iero Nearly Lost His Temper

Frank's POV

Sunday was the typical uneventful, get-last-minute-grading-done kind of day. As soon as I got finished with it I threw my head on the table. Do you ever feel the need to do that? Because I damn well do that a lot. After that I just jammed on my guitar. I really had nothing to do today. I just wandered around my house finding things to do. Nothing wrong with that, of course, mind you.

I showered that night and ate leftovers and watched some Game of Thrones.

Surprisingly, Gerard had slipped my mind that day.

Boy was I in for a treat.

Monday came around and when I didn't see Gerard come into his class, I of course immediately got worried. Luckily all I had planned for today was for the class to do some worksheets, so I could text him and just hope for a reply. Gerard's friends in the class noticed my slight change of behavior, I could see it on their faces, like they knew what had happened to him. But of course they didn't say anything to me. If they were, I guess they were planning to wait until the end of class.

After I passed out the worksheets, I went back to my desk and pulled out my phone, sending a short message to Gerard.

hey, just wanted to say i love you and noticed you're not in class. tell me what's up when you can. i miss you!

I hit send then carried on with class. helping kids who came up to my desk, rightly confused about the lesson. It's Chemistry, that shit is difficult, I'm not gonna lie. I hadn't gotten a reply from Gerard, but my mind was distracted from that luckily, because of the students that needed help.

When class ended the students filed out, Lindsey, though, she came up to my desk.

"I know you're worried about where Gerard is. ...Seeing that he never misses school."

"Was it that obvious?" caution laced in my words.

"To me and Andy, of course it was."

"Okay well something obviously happened to him, I can see the concern on your face, Lindsey, what happened?" Her eyes just moved quickly away from my worried gaze and her mouth opened and closed as she tried to form words to say in her head.

"He- um, his-" a deep exhale escaped her lips. "hisdadwasdrunkandbeathimup."

What.

Not really, I understand the mumble that came out of her, but what?

No, surely not.

"Do you know... why?" I felt this pain inside. Why would a parent do such a thing to their child? My blood was starting to boil. Disgust was building up deep within me just thinking of the possibilities, the worse outcomes that could have happened.

"Mikey told me it was because his dad somehow blew up about his... sexuality. I guess he didn't fully believe it when he had come out... so when he found out Gerard had a, um, you, that sent him over the edge."

"Jesus Christ." I gripped the edge of my desk for needed support, my knuckles turning white.

"A-apparently Mr. Way had a drinking problem in the past.. he's relapsing, I guess." Lindsey's words were quiet now.

"That's even worse."

"I know."

"So, he's in the hospital, then, isn't he?"

Lindsey nodded, a solemn look washing over her usually cheery face.

"It's not serious, but not minor, either. He hit his head really hard a couple times so they're checking up on that, checked over him to see if he needed any stitches, stuff like that. Really, it's just bruises. It.. it could have been much worse. If it wasn't for them shouting at each other, which they were supposedly doing, Mikey and his mom wouldn't have woken up and stopped it all."

In a way, I was relieved. But I was furious at the same time. Mixed emotions of all sorts were running throughout me now.

"Can I visit him?"

"I mean, you could, but he should be let out today. Um, if he's let out before school ends, I was gonna go over. Maybe you could come?"

Should I do that? I mean, what if his parents were to come to parent/teacher conferences? What would happen then?

"Uhhhhh, I don't know. I really would love to, but, their parents.. I'm a teacher? Like, what if they came to school and ran into me? I just-"

"OH uh yeah, you probably shouldn't then just yet... don't worry, though, you and Gee can work. I really believe that."

A small smile graces my lips as Lindsey does the same.

-

That afternoon when I got home, I ignored the schoolwork that needed grading and went straight into my basement. I needed to let out my emotions. And the best way to do that was through playing. And writing.

Thoughts of Gerard's dad filled my head about what I've heard about him and what he had done to Gerard, all because of me. And the words spilled out. Rhythm and melody and harmony all found their way as I sang my newly written song and pieced it together.

Everybody's got something to say  
About your life and the choice you made  
They see the world through tired eyes  
And we refuse to live in black and white

I'm not on anyone's side,  
Feel free to count me out  
I don't believe in anything,  
I'm so sick of everything

Everybody's got something to say  
And then they wonder why you run away  
They're trying hard to steal your innocence  
And fill your head with their ignorance

The truth is I'm just fucking existing  
The truth is I'm just trying to survive  
The truth is I've got a problem listening  
The truth is that I'm getting by

Everybody's got a fucking scheme  
To steal our hearts right from off our sleeves  
But I'm at peace with who I am  
And I'm at war in my own head

I'm not unlike you,  
I just dislike you  
I'm not pathetic,  
Just sympathetic

Everybody's got something to say  
So concerned with the life I've made  
You wear us down with your fear and hate  
I'm unimpressed but I'm getting weak

The truth is I'm just fucking existing  
The truth is I've got the will to survive  
The truth is I've got a problem coping  
The truth is we'll all be fine

Enough is enough  
I give up

We live our lives in our own way  
I feel sorry for the choice you made  
I'm not pathetic,  
Just sympathetic  
I'm not pathetic,  
Just empathetic

Now all I need is a title.

-

Gerard didn't come back to school until Monday. But we had texted, called each other, even skyped. So I had seen the damage his father did to him. He rarely saw his dad anymore. He was always out of the house, staying late at work and getting drunk on the weekend. When his dad was around, he ignored him, or treated him like trash.

I had anger issues a lot of the time, so hearing this and even sometimes hearing his dad while we talked really caused me stress. I had to hold it in so much.

So after class on Monday, the first thing we did after everyone filed out, was hug. A tight hug at that. I never wanted to let Gerard go. At one point he starts crying.

"I'm scared. I'm scared of him. What he'll do. All I do is stay in my room now. And it's only been a week." The best I can do is soothe him and hold him close. I'm really at a loss for words. I don't know how to help. I've never been in a situation like that. Sure, my parents weren't exactly accepting when they found out, but they never disowned me.

"I'm sorry you're going through this. You did nothing wrong, it pains me seeing this happen to you. It's breaking you apart. I can see it. Your dad may not believe in you. In us. The world may not believe in us. But I believe in us. Stay strong for me, yeah?" All I get is a nod in return and a sniffle as Gerard's tears die down before he lifts his head and pecks my lips.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For reassuring me."

I smile.

"Go to class, babe."

"Ugh, fine!" He lets out a laugh, which is relieving to my ears.

"I love you!"

"And I love you, hobbit." Gerard cheekily smirks at me as he exits my classroom.

-

By the end of this week, only faint bruises were left on Gerard, and though he was still having problems with his dad, he did look cheerier. I wanted to go do something with him this weekend, but his mom still wanted him to take it easy, so I left it at that. I told him to be cautious of his dad, which he obviously took into account.

Matt, Evan, Rob and I decided we were all going to go to the bar Friday night. We hadn't done something simple like that in awhile.

"Frank. Fraaaaaaaaank. Hello?" Rob's thick Jersey accent fills my ears as he waves his hand in front of me. "Dude, ya keep zonin' out on us."

"Hm- what? Oh, yeah, my mind's been elsewhere the whole week. Sorry."

"Hey it's cool, man. We all have those times." Evan pats my back.

"Good thing we're here then. It'll take your mind off of whatever's bothering you." Matt brings up as we walk up to a less busy sidebar in the building.

All of us order our drinks, me feeling a little fruity tonight and getting a strawberry daiquiri.

"So, if you don't mind me asking, what has been on your mind this past week?" Evan puts an emphasis on 'has' in his question as soon as the bartender moved a little ways away to get our drinks made.

I look back and forth between my three closest friends. They're all curious to know. I see it in their eyes. Giving up, I sigh. They still didn't know I even had a boyfriend.

My explanation is started with a clearing of my throat.

"Well, um, my, uh, boyfriend, is, well... I guess the easiest thing to say is that he's having family problems."

"Boyfriend?" Is all I hear back. In unison. From three voices, known as my friends.

"Yes, okay, my boyfriend, I've got a boyfriend."

"Finally, too, hah I was starting to get worried. A strapping young 23 year old as yourself should not have to deal with us and only us nearly every weekend!" Evan and Rob smile and nod at Matt's words.

"How long, then?"

"Only going on two months, Evan."

"Still in the lovey-dovey, googly eyes phase of the relationship!" Rob jokes at me, playfully punching the side of my arm, then takes a sip of his drink.

Oh. When did those get here? I gleefully sip the tasty strawberry goodness of my drink. "Shut up, whydontcha?" A smirk playing on my lips, because, well, Rob is right.

"It's really awesome, too, because of the whole Supreme Court ruling of gay marriage. Like, this could be the guy, Frank." I'm about to nod excitedly in agreement, because, of course, I'm so thrilled about this. But we're interrupted by a very disheveled, obviously drunk man sitting two seats away from us. It was only a mumble, not clearly spoken to us, but most definitely directed at us, and just loud enough for us to hear.

"Fucking faggots." are the words that man mumbled. I try to be nice, even though, with my anger issues, it's gonna take a lot. Evan, Matt, and Rob being very aware of my anger issues, start taking precaution.

"Um, sorry sir, but why so rude about other people? They did nothing to harm you."

A scoff, then a hiccup, escapes from the stranger.

"Yeah, sure."

"Why are you being so homophobic?" I decided to blatantly come out and say it.

"Why is it your damn business?"

"You know, if you're usually like this, maybe people would be nicer to you and you'd therefore not have such a problem with people."

"Who are you to tell me how to live my life?" The man wobbily raises himself from his seat.

"I'm just trying to knock some sense into you."

"HAH! I said practically those exact same words to my son. Not too long ago." The words are slurred together from drunkenness, but I make them out. It takes me a second to process. Could this man be... Gerard's dad? He said he'd gone and gotten shitfaced over the weekend, and wouldn't be surprised if he kept doing it.

"Maybe you shouldn't beat up your son who did nothing to harm you and was just trying to live his own life, and from what I hear, is happier than he's been in a while."

"How the fuck would you kno-" The man freezes, looking at me as he's thinking.

"You're the faggot that corrupted my kid." Surprise and anger flashes through my eyes.

"Shut the fuck up he isn't corrupted-"

"Of course he's corrupted. If he weren't corrupted, I'd believe in what he could do with his life. But I don't believe in him."

"Well I damn well do, and if this is how you're treating him, no wonder he always comes to me when he has troubles. He can fucking trust me."

"Frank, come on, you don't want to cause too much of a scene. People are already starting to notice." Matt whispers to me. I hadn't broken eye contact with Mr. Way.

At this point he was stood directly in front of me. He was about 6 feet tall. So, yeah, tall. But not intimidatingly tall to me.

"I had a good kid before you came around." the hammered man growls in my face before he throws a punch at my face. But hey, he's drunk. I'm not. I had one or two measly sips of my drink. I catch his bawled up fist in my hand forcefully before glaring at him and headbutting him, sending him to the ground. I kneel on the ground by his confused self.

"If you ever lay a dirty finger on Gerard again, just know that I will find out about it. And I will not hesitate to hunt you down." I say quietly and firmly to the idiot before standing up and spitting on him, disgusted. I walk over the three steps away from the bar I was and down my daiquiri before walking out of the bar. My friends stood there dazed for a second.

"That guy has been a pain in the butt, I think your friend sorted him out. He did good." I heard the voice of the bartender speaking deeply before Rob, Evan, and Matt filed out to where I was, flustered at the small scene I caused. Everybody near us was staring at where I recently stood and at the dazed, drunken man still on the hardwood floor.

What a douche that man was.

Scum of the earth.

Pitiful.

Disgusting.

Outright trash.

"Frank!" Evan's voice rings out into the cool night.

"What?!" I stop in my tracks.

My tracks?

I notice I was pacing, my fists still clenched in tight fists. They stung. I let go and looked down at my open palms. There was blood. I had broken the skin.

"Dammit." I mutter under my breath.

"You were saying some stuff about that dude back there." Matt brings up, caution laced in the words.

"No I wasn't."

"Uh, 'scum of the earth', 'disgusting', 'outright trash'." Rob gives examples.

"I-I said those out loud?"

"Did you think you were just thinking them?" Evan speaks.

"Well... yeah."

"Okay, well, that wasn't the case... but it's okay. You needed to let it out."

"I still do need to let it fucking out." I snap.

They all take a small step back. Great, I'm scaring my closest friends.

"Let's go back to my place and play, okay? That's the only thing I know that works."

All three of the guys nod in agreement.

"We know, man. We know." Evan lets a small, breathy laugh, which I return.

We walk home, because we didn't drive. Precautions of us getting drunk.

Once we get back to my place we immediately head to my basement. I'm ready to play my heart out. I grab Pansy, since she's the guitar I use when I feel the need to let it all out. She's a tough one. She's been through a lot and is still going strong.

An hour later I'm sticky and my throat is dry and I'm tired and, shit, I feel so much better. The guys all crash here and we stay up until about three in the morning watching Marvel movies.

When I go upstairs to sleep to my heart's content, I check my phone one last time before turning it off for the night. I've got a text. From Gerard, because when isn't it? It's not much, really, but considering my night, it's much needed and does me so much good.

Gee: I love you baby

After reading that text, I feel my body immediately relax. I hadn't realized it was still tense. I smile. Maybe Gerard does more wonders to my anger than playing.

That's a change that I'm not used to.

But I'd sure like to get used to that.

Me: I love you so much Gee, so does your grandmother, your mom, Mikey, your friends. I believe in you. Goodnight. xo.

I feel confident with this reply, and hit send before turning off my phone and tucking myself into my bed, falling into a content sleep.

-


	17. Be My Escape, Frank

Gerard's POV

*time lapse 1 month*

Yelling startles me awake from my, for once, as of recently, peaceful sleep.

The past month since 'the incident', as I call it, has only gotten worse. I've woken up at least once a week to arguments between my parents, whether it be in the morning or in the middle of the night.

All somehow related to me, of course.

Mom has been letting us stay at friends' houses over the weekends. Sometimes we'd both crash at Pete's, and he'd make it a whole get together with our group of friends, sometimes I'd go to Lindsey's, and sometimes, unsurprisingly, I went to Frank's. Only my mom knew that, though. She'd lie to my dad, as would Mikey. Dad had still abused me, none of it as bad as that first night, but I never went a day without a bruise of sorts on me somewhere on my body. I had noticed my mom had some, too. I didn't even want to think about it, it brought me to tears every time I did.

Everybody was so concerned for me. I was surpised. Even Mikey was concerned for me, but honestly, he deserves just as much concern as I'm receiving. He's still living under the same roof as Dad. I never wanted to leave mom alone with him on the weekends, but she always assured us she was fine. Which I guess is true, because he still goes out drinking every weekend.

"Get your act together or get out of this house, Donald."

I just lay in my bed listening, Mikey probably doing the exact same thing.

"Tell our son to get his act together."

"His act is together!"

"What, fucking around with other males? Older ones at that?"

"Don! Stop being immature! You know nothing about Gerard's life! Because you don't seem to care enough to actually get to know your sons better than you should!" My mom sounded so broken and tired. She looked it, too. It hurts me to see her like that.

"You know I met his fuckbuddy? At the gig bar a month ago. He's old enough to drink, Donna, did you know that? He's an adult! The relationship is fucking illegal!"

"They're allowed to love each other, Don!"

"They can't have sex, that's what I meant, by God, you know that! Why are you supportive of this?!"

"Because he's happy, for once, Don!" Mom shouted this out from the top of her lungs. Then silence. Tears had started rolling down my face a few minutes ago. Mikey just wandered into my room, I guess knowing that I had to be awake, and sat beside me on the bed.

"I was happy. Until Dad turned into this." I mumbled quietly, Mikey just nodded sympathetically. The more I thought about it, the more true I realized those words were. I had been so happy. Happier than I've ever been. I had never suffered with depression, I mean, I occasionally got bits of sadness, but it wasn't a thing that I needed to get therapy or medication for. But now I feel like Frank is more an escape to my family problems. How I feel around him drowns out how I feel at home. I'm scared at home. I can't express myself anymore at home. I can't act remotely happy at home or my dad will throw crap at me about Frank. I don't like thinking of Frank to be an escape more than my boyfriend. But that's starting to be the case. I love Frank. And that feeling is starting to be drowned by fear and a need for safety.

Before I know it, I hear footsteps making their way up the stairs. Then my dad opens the door, Mom making her way behind him, I guess to make sure he doesn't do anything.

"Are you happy?"

"D-does it look like I am?" I dare to ask.

"No- I, mean with your..." He can't even say 'boyfriend'. It hurts, majorly.

"Yes." A sharp, loud, and deep breath comes from Dad.

"I don't support it, you know."

"You shouldn't have him live to your expectations."

"Michael, stay out of this."

"I shouldn't have to. I'm going to stand up for my brother because I love him and he did nothing wrong. He's living his life, he's happier than ever, and is such a smart and creative human. Stop being so down on him because he isn't your 'perfect young man' who is athletic as fuck and has a perfect cheerleader girlfriend and is a shoe-in to have a full-ride to college for football." Dad's fists were clenched and he was doing his best to hold everything in. My mom was being very cautious next to him. I noticed her give Mikey a very thankful look.

Mikey stood up, and being taller than me, stood almost as tall as Dad. He calmly looked Dad in the eyes. "I love my brother and I am always going to support him and be there for him through thick and thin. Which should also be a father's job."

Dad frustratedly stood there before doing something that started the downward spiral of our family. He punched Mikey square in the jaw. Mikey stumbled backwards onto my bed. Luckily my bed was even there. Mikey has such a delicate build. Shocked, I sprang out of bed, Mom having pulled Dad away as much as she could.

"How dare you!?" I yell at him, anger in my voice and fire in my eyes. I shove him backwards, towards the door out of my room. I managed to shove him out, Mom now to the side in the hallway. "You're so fucked up you can't support your family! You can't accept that we have different personalities! That we're living life to our fullest! But that's being prevented at the moment, because of you, ruining it! Either learn to accept it or learn to control your anger! Whatever! You throw us around and abuse us, and I can't take it!"

Dad didn't say a word to me, just devilishly glared at me before shoving me with all of his might. I fell back into my room and fell into the bottom board of the foot of my bed. Pain shot through my head as my vision went blurry.

Mikey and I were going through physical pain and trying to stay conscious. I reached my hand up to search for Mikey before I felt his hand weakly link with mine as we heard Mom kick our no-longer-father out of our house forever.

-

Mikey had to get stitches.

Luckily I wasn't harmed, just got another bruise to add to my collection. Mikey, though, his stitches ranged from some on the side of his nose, to his cheekbone, to his jawline. Donald had messed him up more than I thought. And I can't stand to think about that. People think Mikey is this shy kid who keeps to himself (which is true, partially), but really, when Mikey sees something like what he saw our dad doing to me, he stands up. He's done it to strangers before when he saw unfair treatment. It amazes me how he does that. Like, he's got such a firm belief in equality and treating others how you would want to be treated, that he does things like that. While I believe the strongly in the same things, I've always been too nervous to do anything. Which a lot of people are like in those situations, actually.

Mom let us stay home from school today. I had texted Frank to tell him, and that I was perfectly fine.

But actually, as I thought about it, he could really come visit at home now, if mom had really kicked Dad out of the house. Mom always threw hints at meeting Frank, which of course I didn't really want to do. What about open houses at school and parent/teacher conferences? She started packing and boxing up his stuff today while Mikey and I lazed around the house watching tv.

I'd give anything to just be with Frank right now. Just, at his house, us watching tv and cuddling. Getting distracted from what we're watching every now and again because we're messing with one another.

All the shit talking my dad has done this past month about me taking it up the ass honestly just made me want to rebel and take it further in Frank and I's relationship, despite the illegality. But we're already illegal in more than one way, so why not add to it? The more I think about giving myself fully to Frank, the less scared of the act I become. I want to do it. I want to be closer to Frank. And, I'm going to admit this, a couple times that I thought about it, I, um, well, I got a little problem. Now adding to the list of times that happened.

Oops.

Okay, um, shit.

What do I do?

Mikey's sitting on the other end of the couch and Mom's going back and forth around the house collecting things. But I'm wearing a big sweater.

Okay, thank God for it being December. Thoughts of Frank, that I'm not exactly proud of, are still going through my mind as I cautiously get up and go to my room. I'm hoping my pants went unnoticed, because Mikey didn't say anything, when normally he would tease me. I manage to get to my room and close the door in a hurry and lock the door. I turn on my music.

My family knows the only time I play music is when I'm drawing. Only on few occasions have I not actually been doing that. Right now adding to that list of occasions. My breathing started picking up as my patience grew thin while walking up the stairs.

Are you really about to do this, Gerard? You never do. You always let it run its course. Like at Frank's on his birthday, for example. Why would you do that? He's your boyfriend. Someone of which you've never had. What an idiot. I shake away my self-pitying thoughts as my hand brushes over myself and I feel a twinge, as if all the blood immediately rushed there at the feeling. A small, barely audible moan found its way out of my mouth at that and Frank came to mind again. His face and sounds from the day I choked on candy making me shiver. That was a beautiful sight. The sounds I had never heard from him before were even better.

At this point I had my sweatpants removed and was under the covers in my boxers and sweater still on. I planned on keeping the boxers on to prevent whatever mess would occur. Also I had a raging erection. Yep, I'm blatantly saying it. And, honestly, I've never had one as strong as I did now.

Dammit Frank.

I hadn't even realized that I was stroking myself, that's how much thinking of Frank was captivating my mind right now. I made satisfied hums here and there as I started up a rhythm and more mental images of what Frank and I would eventually do flooded through my hormonal self.

I was moaning quietly now, my music thankfully keeping my cover. My constant rhythm continued for five or so minutes until it started going jagged and and sloppy as twitches went all over my body. I felt the sensation in the pit of my stomach build as my toes curled and I released, a satisfactory, and significantly louder moan ending my "problem". I came down from my self-induced high as I heard a knock on the door. I shot out of my bed and fumbled into my sweatpants as I smoothed my hair out and wiped off the little sweat I had gained before grabbing an air freshener in a drawer (don't ask why I air freshener in my room) and sprayed it quickly before turning off my music. I collected myself as I opened the door to a very smug-looking Mikey.

"Uh.. hi?"

"You... busy?"

"Whatmakesyouthinkthat?"

"Oh, nothing, really..." Mikey trails off, this look of knowing on his face the entire time. He knows. I know he knows.

"I was walking by, just now, and, nice use of music to cover up by the way, but that seemed to be to your disadvantage as a song ended as you, also, ...ended."

"Wh..." I was astonished. And embarrassed as fuck. My eyes were wide and my face was beat red as I stared at my younger brother.

"Just good know you're doing that, I guess. I mean, well, it's awkward, yeah.. but, I don't know. That stuff you've always seemed to be awkward about, so it's a change. My big brother is growing up!" At the last sentence his expression turned both pained and proud as he patted my shoulder then went into his room.

What. The. Fuck.

I snapped out of my shock and went to shower. Deciding that'd be a good idea rather than being in sticky underwear. ...Ick.

So, I shower. And take my time, too. All the stress I've been through lately, I need the time to think. And the warm sting of the hot shower relieves the tension in my muscles.

I'm still really considering giving Frank my virginity. And as soon as possible, too.

-

After the school day had ended, I immediately got a text from Frank. Which was sweet and made my hopeless romantic heart swell. He had asked if everything was okay and just general questions like that before I decided to call him. I felt it to be easier that way to catch him up on all that happened. And he gave me nothing but sympathy. But I could tell there was anger he was withholding. I guess the apparent confrontation he and Dad had didn't go down well at all, and this is where majority of the hatred was coming from. But I didn't question it.

"Frankie, I- I really love you."

"And I love you. ...a lot." Frank laughed quietly, which made me smile. "Do you, um, perhaps, want to spend the weekend here?" My breathing stops, only because of what has been at the back and front and every part of my mind today. Being closer to Frank than ever.

"What kind of question is that, dummy, of course I want to." I mock him, like a good boyfriend does, obviously.

"Hah hah you're so sassy." Sarcasm laced Frank's words.

"Yeah yeah I know and it's fabulous and you fuckin' love it. But let me go ask my mom because I still have to do things like that." I put my phone down on my bed as I hear mumbles of agreement from Frank coming from the other end of the line.

"Mom!" I ask the house, hoping to find her. Kind of like marco polo.

"In here!" I turn to the source of her voice and head to our spare room, where Dad kept all his books and stuff like that.

"Can I spend the weekend at Frank's, please?" I do my best puppy dog eyes I can muster, but I doubt I need to do much convincing. Mom's been pretty lenient to Mikey and I this past month.

"Of course, Dear. I guess from Friday to Sunday?"

"Yep." I pop the 'p' with my lips.

"Okay then, just make sure you'll be able to do homework if you don't get it done Friday before going over, okay?"

"You know I always do, Ma." I start heading back to my room and she laughs.

"Yes, I suppose you're right."

"Thank you! Love ya." I close my door behind me and go back to my phone to confirm my weekend away from reality. I'm already positive of what I want.

I need this little escape.

And Frank can give exactly that to me.

-

The week wasn't passing as fast as I wanted it to, but my nerves were indeed building up as the days came and went. From nervousness and excitement. Frank was completely oblivious to what I was wanting, and I hoped he was okay with it the moment I wanted to do so. After classes I'd stay behind as usual and we'd chat, giving small pecks here and there. Once again, we almost got caught by the principal. That's terrifying. I want to just wait the five months until I graduate then we won't have to worry about it. But then again I don't want to waste those five months from memories I could be having filled with Frank.

Ray and Andy asked if I wanted to go to the comic book store with them on Saturday at lunch- today's Thursday, by the way- but, obviously, I had to decline. Which sparked the interest of none other than Pete and Lindsey, since their lives seemed to revolve around my personal business.

"Do tell, Gee my man." Pete nudged me.

I can't hide anything from these fools I call my friends. Ugh. There's no reason to lie.

"I'm spending the weekend with Frank, alright? Ya happy?"

"Well I don't know how the others feel but I'm very happy, thank you Gerard."

"Whatever, Linds." I smile from one corner of my mouth.

"You're gon' have some fun, I can sense it." I coughed on the water I was drinking.

"What?!" Everybody at the table was paying attention at this point. I don't know why they were so involved in my relationship with Frank. I mean, I could sense something between Dallon and Hayley.

"Come on, we all know it." Hayley's sweet voice piped up.

"You all know how awkward I am in situations like that, even when it's just a movie or something."

"Well, he's less awkward now."

"MIKEY!" I don't need my friends to know these things, this is so awkward, oh my God.

"Oh? How, then?" Pete turned to me and eyed me with a smirk.

"Fuck off, Pepe Wentz." flicking him off, I go back to my sandwich.

"He took care of a problem, yesterday, to all of your interests."

"Jesus Christ, Mikey, why do you take relish in sharing my personal life with people?" I seeth through my teeth at the annoying boy I call my brother. Everybody else was smiling gleefully at me.

"What? Guys stop smiling this is really creepy."

"Gerard. You're the shy, reclusive, innocent friend in the group. These things make us happy to hear. It's like our sweet baby is growing up." Dallon says what's on everybody's minds. I know this because they all nod in agreement. I just put my now red face in my hands.

"So was your problem filled with thoughts of Frank?" Lindsey decided to start messing with me.

I shoot my head out of my hands as they land on the table and I stare at her with wide eyes as all my friends laugh at my embarrassment.

-

Friday. At last.

"So, I was thinking you could start walking home and I get you at the corner near the park. It's not too far but it's not too close to the school to get noticed and all that shit." It was after Frank's class and he was clarifying little last minute details.

"Sounds good with me." The corner of Frank's lips turned up into a crooked smile then he steps closer to me and put his hands on my hips, moving them back and forth.

"Good. I can't wait, Babe." I blush at the nickname before trying my best seductive face. I trail my fingers lightly from his cheek down his chest and stomach and tease him at his belt buckle as I say my next words.

"All to ourselves, too... better take advantage of that, Sugar." I let my tongue slide across my bottom lip before lightly biting it. My teasing worked, because before I knew it Frank had lifted me and set me on his desk before quickly stepping in between my open legs and closing the space between our bodies and kissing me hard. I felt the start of his erection on the inside of my upper thigh.

Damn, I was getting good at this. I thought I was always an awkward duckling who stumbled on his words when trying to flirt and end up saying something about potatoes and failing miserably.

We broke apart and rested our heads close together, Frank's breathing heavy.

"Don't do that to me. And here of all places." He let out a laugh.

"My bad, Mr. Iero." Frank playfully shoved me then pulled his face away from mine.

"But are you.. serious, about that?" Frank's eyes showed concern, happiness, and fear. Concern, because the few times we've taken things far I chickened out, not ready. Happiness, because I suggested it and I'm sure it's something he wanted to do. And fear, well, because of the situation of our relationship.

"I've been thinking about it... so much, this past month. I really have. And I want to. I don't want to wait until my birthday. I can't wait. But, I want it to be in the moment and not something planned, you know?

"I do know. I think that makes it more special, too, I feel. Planned makes it feel too worked on and forced, in a way." I nod in agreement then place a soft kiss on Frank's forehead before sliding off his desk.

"I should get goin'."

"Alright. See you later." We kiss one last time before I leave to endure the rest of the school day.

At lunch my friends kept hinting at things that they thought would happen. I think some bets were even placed.

Then 3 o'clock hit.

My weekend with Frank begins.

-


	18. "Tell Me A Story Every Night Before Bed..."

Frank's POV

This weekend was just going to be a lazy, bonding weekend with my boyfriend.

Hm, bonding.

I hadn't gotten out of my head what Gerard had said about being ready. I was scared, really. He's underage. And I thought that we wouldn't have a problem with waiting because he had always been nervous about this kind of stuff. I guess he was maturing.

It may or may not happen this weekend. Like I had said to Gerard, it was going to a heat of the moment kind of thing. Okay, so yeah it might actually happen this weekend.

We weren't exactly not going to make out this weekend.

The end of the day arrived and I was headed out to my car, I had spotted Gerard in the distance turning the corner from the school in the direction of where we decided to meet. I put my stuff I needed to grade, etc. in my trunk before getting into my little black car, that rattled a little whenever you started it, and going a little longer route to get there. To give Gerard time to get there.

About 10 minutes or so later I arrived at our destination, just when Gerard did as well. I smiled as he shook his head in amusement before climbing into the passenger seat and throwing his stuff in the backseat.

"Do you wanna get Starbucks?" Gerard freezes at my question. I've got him!

"Oh my God, please." I'm gonna tease him. Fuck yes. I'm so happy this idea popped in my head.

"Hmm, actually, nah, I changed my mind. I got this creamer that I've never tried before and I really want to use it, we'll just have some at home." Gerard's eyes go scarily dark for a brief second, and honestly, I got worried for my life for a moment there.

"Don't you fuck with me, you noob." Gerard's voice was so much more serious than I was expecting.

"Oh my God you really do want Starbucks, I was kidding. I was messing with you. I was gonna go to Starbucks all along. Please don't scare me like that I was literally about to piss my pants you were scaring me that much." I reached my hand over and squeeze Gerard's upper thigh and left it resting there on the drive to the overpriced, but way too delicious coffee hotspot for mainstream white girls.

"I don't fuck around about my coffee." his voice was quiet, but forward and unwavering as his hands played with mine on his leg.

"I know, sweetie. Which is why I should know by now to not joke around about it. It's serious business, coffee is. A lifesource." I felt his hand tighten around mine when I said the nickname. I smiled to myself at that. The little things he did like that in reaction to things I said or did managed to melt my insides more and more.

"It is a motherfucking lifesource, man, don't ever mess around about it again."

"I'm not gonna!"

"You better not."

"Oh God, I love you."

"I know."

"Don't turn this into Star Wars. This isn't Han Solo and Princess Leia. And if anything, you'd definitely be Princess Leia." Gerard's eyes widen and his jaw drops with a smile with a stare.

"Why am I Princess Leia!?"

"Oh come on, you totally act gayer than me. Gayer equals more feminine, feminine scientifically equals a girl, girl equals Princess Leia. There."

"But-"

"Nope, butts are for sex." Gee's cheeks go pink.

"Fine. You win. That just means I get to kiss Harrison Ford, then."

"I'm honored to be compared to such a fellow."

Gerard leans in close to my ear and whispers (I'm pulling into the parking lot for Starbucks now, by the way, finally). "You know, I always had a crush on him growing up." Even though I'm extremely flustered on the inside, I manage to play it off really cool. Go me.

"Oh, really, princess?" I send a wink in his direction.

"Don't call me that!"

"Awh, why not? I like it."

"I don't!"

"Sure, princess." Gerard playfully slaps my arm.

"Alright, alright, Gee stay here I'll go get our coffee."

"Wait, you don't know my usua-"

"You like all coffee, I feel like surprising you."

"Fine, surprise me. I'm not objecting to anything."

"Like I knew you would." Gerard just rolls his eyes. "Anyways, I'll be back in 5, okay?"

"Yeah." I leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth before exiting the car out into the chilling December air of Jersey. As I walked towards my destination, I couldn't help my mind wandering to one not-so-happy childhood memory. The day was like this. I checked the time on my phone. It was around the same time it happened, too, actually. I shook the thought away when the strong scent of coffee hit my nose.

I had ordered myself a venti Espresso Macchiato and Gerard a venti White Chocolate Mocha. Why did I get ventis, you ask? Well, because it's motherfucking December in New Jersey. It's freezing and nice, large, hot coffees sound highly appealing right now.

Once I got back to the car and Gerard spotted the big cup in my hand, he shot his hands forward and grabbed it from me and cradled it close to his face. Both his hands were holding it and he was welcoming the warmth and delicious smell with closed eyes and a satisfactory expression on his beautifully rosy face before taking a cautious sip of the probably-still-a-little-too-hot drink. I hadn't even taken a drink of mine yet, I was admiring Gerard too much that I forgot about it. He took another drink of the chocolatey goodness of his coffee before noticing me and turning a shade of pink.

"What?" he asked rather timidly. I only smiled before surprising him with a gentle, but also passionate kiss.

"Your coffee tastes good."

-

It was now 7 pm and we had just finished eating tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches. Gerard went over to the tv to find something to watch and I put the dishes away. After I did that and made my way to my small living room, I saw that Gerard was huddled into a ball watching a rerun of Sherlock. I had been meaning to start watching that, but I never got around to it, no matter how much I wanted to. I walked over and sat down, wrapping my arm around him and pulling him in to me. Gerard in turn wrapped his arm over my middle and rested his head in the crook of my neck.

The whole evening we watched Sherlock. Apparently the rerun Gerard had come across was the first episode. He explained what had happened to me before I came in. It was such a good show. I need more of it. Why must there only be three seasons? I'll be caught up before the ending of next week. Then therefore get withdrawals from not having any more to watch. I gotta admit, Moriarty is my favorite. The actor has such an amazing and captivating way of playing him. He's perfect for the role.

It was around one in the morning when the first season ended. And much to my dismay, that was all the tv channel was playing for now.

"We totally need to marathon this show, Gee, I fucking love it." no reply. "Gee?"

He fell asleep. I moved the hair little bit of hair that had fallen over his eyes. It's surprising how long his hair had gotten already since he got it cut in September. Gerard was in a position that was hard for me to move to pick him up without waking him, so I just decided to stir him.

"Babe, wake up, we'll go to bed okay?" I shake him a little saying this. He "hmphs" in response, so I start placing kisses all over his face. Gerard's awake now, I know it, but he's trying to play it off. Soon, though, his mouth twitches up into a smile before he breaks into a fit of adorable, high-pitched giggles.

"Hah hah! I have succeeded in awaking you. You wanna go to sleep?" Gerard nodded in response before standing up slowly, I took his hand in mine and led his slow, sleep-filled body upstairs.

When we first got here, I took Gerard's bag upstairs while he helped himself to a little snack in the kitchen, so when we got to my room, I let go of his hand and rummaged through his bag to find some PJ's. We changed quickly, I noticed him looking a little solemn, then climbed into bed, on our respective sides. Mine being on the right side of the bed, his being on the left. I laid on my back and Gerard snuggled up to me. Like we were on the couch, but on opposite sides and laying down. There was a comfortable silence for five minutes before Gerard quietly spoke.

"Tell me a story."

"Like, a bedtime story?" I felt Gerard nod. Hmm, what do I tell? Like, the plot to Harry Potter or something? Hah, no. That'd be fun, though. Maybe a later day. My childhood memory I thought of earlier popped into my head. I've got nothing to lose. Gonna go for that.

"Okay, well... once upon a time, there was a little peasant boy in a big village of cool, popula- i mean, royal-blood children. He was picked on every day from when he was 5 years old to a hardworking boy of 18 years.." I trailed off, mainly because I was trying to think of how I could continue this.

"Go on." Gerard's voice was barely audible, but the house was quiet as fuck, so i heard him.

"Wh-? Oh, yeah. Anyways, one day when this peasant boy was 14, he was walking home at the end of his typical day of avoiding others' dirty looks and comments about his lower-class. He was minding his own business, helping a few people who needed it on his way to his shabby house when a gang- i mean, gathering, of popu- royal-blooders surrounded him. He was a good 5 inches shorter than all of them. He'd dreaded this group of intimidating boys. They always teased him the most. Even physically harmed him a few times. They threw evil slurs at him the most. Bad terms. Because he was bad. He was... different. From everybody in the village. As a young boy in this village, you were expected to grow strong and be married off to a beautiful young girl and eventually impregnate her with sons, which you would then raise to grow strong. But this boy.. he wasn't strong. He was short, and lanky. With ripped up pants and beat up shoes and shaggy hair."

I had to pause and blink rapidly to prevent tears just thinking about this.

"He.. he didn't want to be married off to a young girl in the future, either. He hadn't even expressed any interest in girls, either. His parents had noticed. Apparently, so had the rest of the village. So he got picked on. But this day, this day was the worst to come of all his days of dealing with this emotional and physical torture. This group of, say, 5 or 6 royal-bloods stepped closer to him with evil grins and mischievous cackles. More slurs about him were spat in his face before the leader of this upper-class gathering shoved him backward into his friends, who held him in place..."

A tear slipped from my eye.

"Then the punches started. Into his stomach, his face. Kicks were slammed into this poor boy's legs before he fell to the ground. Where he received more kicks. All the while these evil, disgusting slurs were yelled at all around him, directed right at him. He woke up a few hours later, on the ground right where he remembered this whole encounter. The stronger boys ignoring his pleas to stop and tear-stained face."

I hadn't noticed that Gerard was grasping me tighter. The memory was too strong. I wasn't very aware of my surroundings at the moment.

"But he managed to get up and walk home. The village thought he wasn't strong. Oh, how wrong they were. He was very strong. He endured this for over 10 years. Some years worse than others. Anyways, when he got home, his mother was immediately worried, and threw question after question at him about what had happened. He welcomed this concern and feeling like people cared about him. That didn't last very long, though. This battered up boy told both his mother and father what had happened. They questioned him about if the royal-blooders were right about the slurs. This boy couldn't keep it in anymore. So he informed his parents that the royal-blooders were indeed right. He was a 'faggot', 'gay', 'bender', 'pansy'. Those were only some of the terms that were used towards him. It took a toll on both his parents and himself. His mother never looked at him the same. She tried, she still wanted to love her son, but she found it difficult. At least she tried, though. But this peasant boy's father, well, he spat at him. Added to his beatings. Completely disowned him. That continued for 4 more dreaded years, until he was 18, a legal adult able to live on his own and start his life. Then he was kicked out.."

Tears had silently been falling down my face. They had stopped when I finished. But I felt empty on the inside. There was a silence between us for awhile. A nice silence. I had actually thought Gerard had fallen asleep. But I was wrong.

"This.. this boy. Was his name ...Frank?" Gerard was looking up at me with concerned eyes. I could be wrong, but it looked like he had been crying, just a little bit. We held eye contact.

"Yes." my voice cracked. Gerard's expression softened immediately. His hand that was draped over my waist moved to my face and he gently stroked my cheek before moving upward and connecting his lips with mine. It was passionate, radiating with love and sympathy, and gratefulness. I say gratefulness because I can tell Gerard knew I told him this story, because what he was going through with his family is similar. I held Gerard close to me by his hips, him being on top of me now. Both of his hands were on the sides of my face.

The kiss had turned heated. It still possessed passion and love, respectfully. I had reached my hands into his pj pants and was groping his butt while his hands were roaming under my shirt before he pulled it over my head and tossed it aside. Tongues and teeth were now clashing together and fighting for dominance. I won this dominance, though, when I moved my hands to tightly grope his butt under his underwear. A surprised mix of a gasp and a moan came from Gerard at my contact. I saw my chance and I took it. I rolled us over so I was now on top. My hands squeezed his butt one last time before I moved them up his back, lifting his shirt and taking it off.

With this skin on skin contact we now had, our hands explored all over each other as the warmth grew between us, our pants also growing. I held firmly onto Gerard's hips while I disconnected our lips and moved to suck on the left side of his neck, marking him, then doing the same on his collarbone. His hands were fisted up tightly into the back of my hair and I moved to suck right under his jaw. His breaths were shaky. I licked up his soft jawline up to underneath his ear, where I bit and sucked. I assume that I found Gerard's weak spot. Because his body melted and he let out a soft, short moan and involuntarily bucked his hips up into me. I smiled and let out a breathy laugh.

I started up a slow, torturous grinding rhythm, making my younger boyfriend a squirming mess underneath my weight, begging for more.

My left hand went underneath him to his lower back and held him closer to me as he started begging for more, playing with my pants waistband.

"P-please, Frankie I want more."

"You sure?" Gerard frantically nods then crashes his slimy lips onto mine. His hands are immediately working on pulling my pants (and boxers with them) down. To his dismay at the sudden stop of friction between us, I lift my lower half up partially so he can slide down my pants so we can get them off easier. By now we're both fully hard, so, yeah, I spring free. But neither of us pay attention to that because we're kissing. Gerard gives my now bare butt a light squeeze, I feel him smile into the kiss and I break apart with a cheeky grin.

"Is my butt amusing to you or something?" We both laugh as we gaze into each other's eyes.

"Of course. Its so little and round. I love it." I merely look at Gerard, a little embarrassed, but his usual shy nature returned as I kept looking at him and he turned his flushed face away. I leaned down and kissed his temple.

"Your pants are still down by your knees take them off you goof. You look ridiculous."

"Oh my God, you're right. I completely forgot. Hah." I shook my head at my forgetfulness then did as he wished.

Now completely naked, I put my full body weight on Gerard, my legs outside of his. And we started making out and grinding again. My fingers lightly grabbed the waistbands of his pants and boxers. Gerard broke from our sloppy, open-mouthed kisses and went to sucking on my neck and, as he called it, jawline so sharp he could cut his fingers off if he wasn't careful. I moaned here and there as he left his own marks on me before moving to my ear and whispering, "Go ahead. I want this. ...I want you."

My heart stuttered a beat. I wanted to be closer to Gerard, too. In every way. And we were taking that further step in our relationship. The time had come. We didn't care about the illegality of it or the worst possible outcomes. We cared about each other. We were in this moment together as two people bonding as one.

I looked deep into those hazel orbs of his, which showed happiness, excitement, and love.

He was definitely ready.

"I want you, too." I whisper back before gently kissing him and slithering his remaining clothes off of his beautiful, glowingly pale body. We had seen each other naked before. But that wasn't as intimate a moment as it was now. I took some time admiring him. It was marked here and there from his tormenters from the cruel outside world. I traced over some of them lightly and Gerard cupped my face and rubbed his thumb in a relaxing circle.

"I'm gonna have to.. prep you. And it's, well, it's painful. But that pain for sure becomes pleasure, but over time... and, hey, if it gets to where it's too uncomfortable and unbearable for you to deal with, you fucking let me know. I'm not gonna hurt you and I'm not gonna do something to you that you don't want. You hear me?"

"I-I googled how painful it was a couple of weeks ago actually, I, I'm kinda prepared. Like I said, Frankie, I want this." His voice was quiet but assertive. Gerard connected his lips to mine. Luckily I remembered where I kept my lube and condoms, even though it has probably gathered a layer of dust from the lack of using it, I reached over to my bedside table to the bottom drawer and grabbed what I needed.

"Oh, here let's put this pillow under your lower back. It'll help."

"Okay." He said timidly. I ran my hand through his hair lovingly before grabbing a pillow while he slightly lifted his rear off the bed so I could place the pillow in its respectful place.

"Comfy?"

"Comfy."

Moving closer to the boy in bed with me, I spread his legs wide and laid down on top of him. Our time discussing this got us a little soft again so I planned to fix that. I licked Gee's bottom lip then gently bit it before sucking on the soft skin a little bit. He hummed in approval and kissed me back before he started grinding himself up into me, which I gladly reciprocated.

Five minutes later we were already working up a sweat, I nearly forgot that I still had to prep him.

"You ready, Babe?"

"As I'll ever be."

Lube is squeezed onto my fingers and I place some around Gerard's entrance to help the ease of things. I place Gerard's legs in the crooks of my elbows and kiss him while I enter with my first finger, kissing him to hopefully help take his mind off of the pain below. He whimpers, trying to keep in what he can, his fingers digging sharply into my shoulder blades. A short amount of time passes and before we both know it, Gerard is moaning in pleasure.

"Oh, Oh God, more, please I need more."

He's already such a bottom, bless him.

"Eager, much?"

"Shut up." I slowly add a second finger and Gerard claws down my back, no doubt leaving marks. He inhales deeply at the stretch and lets out a cry. Soothingly, I place chaste, gentle kisses all over his face and muttering how amazing he's doing in between them. Gerard is clinging on to me as if he were to let go, he'd fall to his death. One arm was tight around my shoulders while the other's hand was forcefully grabbing my hair, which, admittedly, was a turn on of mine. A minute or two pass then I decide to scissor my fingers. A half moan, half cry of pain comes to my ears when I perform this movement.

"Ah, shitshitshitshit. Oh." Gerard sloppily latches his mouth onto mine and his tongue is immediately exploring my mouth. Slutty moans are coming from him one after the other and it's driving me insane. Only one more thing before we can really begin. I'm going to find his prostate. I crook my fingers side to side, earning more of those godly moans in return. I crook my finger up and slightly to the right and the loudest, most whoreish, dick-throbbing groan fell out of Gerard's innocent mouth. Found it.

"What the-"

"I found your prostate."

"Fuck I need more." I kiss Gerard passionately and grab his buttcheek with my free hand before pulling away, and pulling my fingers out delicately. He whined at the lack of fill inside him.

"Shh, Dove." I rub my hands down his sides and he shivers at the feeling it leaves behind.

"I like that name." He shyly quirks.

"Good, because I like it too." It had just popped into my head, but actually, I really, really liked the pet name.

Within the minute I had my condom rolled on and lube generously covered over me. I put the lube in the top drawer of the bedside table but my attention was drawn back to Gerard underneath me when I felt his legs lightly on the outside of my own.

Oh, the sight I saw.

His legs were spread wider than before and welcoming. He had a smile spread over his gorgeous baby face with one finger in the corner of his mouth and seductive stare burning into me. I felt all the blood go straight to my already fully hard cock. His other hand, it was trailing from his inner thigh upwards to his member, before he wrapped his hand around himself, letting out a moan at his own touch. I moaned myself just looking at him.

Fuck.

"Oh, God." I practically tackled Gerard, making him giggle as my hands groped the outside of his upper thighs so hard I'd leave bruises the shape of my fingerprints, planting a hormones-driven, horny-as-fuck kiss right under his ear. Gerard's giggles faded into quick breaths when I continued leaving marks on his neck.

"Frank, just fuck me already, please, I can't wait any longer." His hands were firm on the back of my neck and hairline. I nodded then lifted myself so I could place myself at his entrance.

Once my tip was at his entrance, I moved my upper body so I was hovering merely inches above my love. We both leaned towards each other and kissed. But this kiss felt different. There was a new spark. It was like we were reconnected yet again. I, as gently as I could, pushed myself in. We both groaned into each other's mouths. Gerard moved his pale legs to latch onto my back once I was fully inside him, our two souls becoming one.

"Fuck." He muttered under his breath, I waited to start any movement until he gave me a signal. Gerard put both his hands on my face, wiping the strands stuck to my face from sweat out of the way.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you, too." I repeated the words that I hadn't used in years.

We kissed chastely, and yet again, I felt that special spark.

Then I felt Gerard tug on my hair, and, like I said earlier: turn on. I moaned and started pulling myself out, then gently pushed back in, going at a slow but steady pace. Gerard started lightly bucking up to meet my thrusts, giving me more urge to pick up my pace and intensity.

"Oh fuck, Frankie, harder, please." The sound of his breathless voice didn't need to tell me twice. Immediately I picked up my pace and started thrusting harder. The bed started moving and the headboard hit the wall every quick, hard thrust I pounded into Gerard. Him also moaning like a porn star with all of my thrusts deeper in him. I buried my face into the crook of his neck as the sex got quicker, harder, and hotter. I would say I was moaning, but they were more a mix of grunts and groans. Whereas, Gerard, he's the star here. Moaning constantly and letting out higher pitched "uh"s when it felt particularly better.

"Oh God, shit shit shit. Fuck, Gee. You're beautiful." I rushed these words out breathlessly with my pace getting faster and stronger. I grabbed a hand onto the windowsill the bed was under while my other arm pulled my heart attack in black hair dye impossibly closer to my buzzing body.

Our jaws were slacked open in pleasure, my eyebrows screwed shut in concentration, trying to locate Gerard's spot, while his perfectly shaped ones were relaxed and his eyes scrunched closed. I placed open mouthed kisses along his jaw before reaching his mouth. Our lips connected briefly then I thrusted yet again and this time Gerard was a spluttering, moaning, squirming, angelic mess.

For the whole of 2 minutes, I was able to hit that spot.

"Ah. Ah ah. Ah ah." moans spilled like rapid fire. "F-faster."

Faster? I couldn't go any faster. Gerard's catlike hands grabbed onto my lower back and dug deep as a moan came deep from his throat. Oh fuck, that got me going faster. We reconnected our faces and tasted one another and clashed our teeth and bit tongues (accidental or purposeful, well, both).

Forcefully I grasped onto Gerard's hips as I sat up. I felt myself getting close. I raised him up a little with his legs spread wider than before (damn, he was flexible). The extremely quick rhythm of pulling out and slamming my friction-filled cock back in was unbearable. I moaned and he moaned. The house was filled with the sound of us. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was growing, then I felt Gerard's legs twitch involuntarily on either side of me. He was about to orgasm. My eyes shot open, I wanted to watch my beautiful love at one of the weakest points a human can be. I reached one hand and wrapped it around his rather big dick and gave it a few pumps, then he released into my hand and our stomachs. His hands were fisted into balls in the sheets as his face screwed up tight and his mouth slung open, revealing some of his tiny teeth.

"FUCK, FRANKIE." That sent me over the edge, I fell onto Gerard again and grabbed his thighs as my thrusts became jagged and messy and my body twitched all over.

"Ah. Oh, damn." My long, low moan filled mine and Gerard's ears as I rode out my climax, giving a few last, quick, hard thrusts before I felt my entire body relax onto the other slick and warm body beneath my own. I went to pull out but was prevented when two, angel-white legs wrapped themselves around me and pushed me back down and two arms wrapped around my neck and held me close. I felt him kiss the top of my sweaty head before letting go completely, allowing me to pull out of him and plop down on my side beside him. He flips over so he's facing me and just stares, not saying a word, but saying everything at the same time. I smile widely then pull him close to me, a small yelp coming out and his face going pink(er than it was from our activities).

"That was amazing."

"I'm glad it wasn't a bad experience for you. ...I really wanted it to mean something."

"It means everything."

"Yeah. Yeah it does."

I pulled the cover over us and before I knew it, my beautiful one fell asleep. His gorgeous, unmarked body tangled with my not so gracefully shaped, ink-covered one. His short, steady breaths hitting my neck with his hands tangled in my hair.

I kissed his forehead, not wanting to wake him from his peaceful rest he so deserved.

"Goodnight, my Dove."

-


	19. Shocking Blue Eyes That Resembled Kurt Cobain's

Gerard's POV

Movement of weight on the bed woke my relaxed body up from my much-needed and much-lacked peaceful sleep. Suddenly a strong, more muscular than my lanky arm, tattooed grip is around my torso and pulling me back against their warm body. A smile forms on my still kiss-swollen lips as I decide to ignore the adorable figure obviously begging for my attention. That doesn't work quite well when his head is in the crook of my neck kissing it. My embarrassed child-like giggle fills the messy bedroom of morning sun. I hear a deep, friendly laugh by my ear, which still sends shivers through my bones.

"G'morning." A groggy voice mumbles into my shoulder as he rubs his hand up and down the side of my naked body as far as his short arm can reach (which is my lower thigh, seeing as my legs are slightly bent).

"Hi, sleepy." At this moment, I don't why now rather than before, I realized how pressed together our bodies were, especially in one particular area, and remembered the events that occurred last night.

"How ya feelin'?" Concern laced Frank's less sleep-sounding words.

Turning my head, I speak, "I feel fine, why do you ask?"

"Well, um, usually you experience ba-" as I was turning my comfortable body to face Frank, I let out a scream when I felt immense pain shoot up from my lower back, and what felt like, my, um, asshole.

"Ah, there we go."

"What. The fuck. Do you mean." my teeth are gritted together and eyes screwed shut. I went to place my hand where the pain was, but Frank's hand already moved there, beating me. He massaged it lightly.

"Well, the first few times a man bottoms in sex, he'll experience.. pain. Like you. Right now."

"Oh." Honestly, I feel like I've heard that. Well, yeah, Gerard, you better have read it somewhere, don't you educate yourself?

"Yeah. Well here, I got up and got you some ibuprofen and a lovely cup of coffee."

Immediately at the sound of coffee, I went to shoot myself up in anticipation. "AH-ah-ah-ah don't if you wanna go through physical hell." Meekly, I sit up slowly, the pain numbly there due to my slow, careful movements. Frank hands me the pills and coffee before stroking my face lovingly, then, because yeah, I can't swallow pills, I suck it up and chew them. A discomforted look on my face before I chug half of my coffee to get the painkiller residue out of my mouth and into my system.

"You chew your pills?" An astonished look sweeps over Frank's face.

"Shut up! I can't swallow them because I start to overthink it and then I gag and start panicking and it's not fun." I finish up my coffee and Frank takes it from my hand, setting it on the bedside table on his side of the bed (the right side, if you must know).

"Well, I'm sorry, then. You're still my same little Dove." ( a/n yes yes this is definitely somewhat of a reference to The Dove Keeper)

We share a kiss before Frank crawls over me.

"I don't know about you but I need to get cleaned up." I blush, knowing he meant the mess I made.

Before he gets off of me though, Frank runs his hands through my hair then rests them behind my neck and kisses me again. When he got up out of the covers, I notice he was still butt naked. A smile creeps its way onto my devious face. Before Frank got out of reach, I stretch my arm out and slap him playfully across his pale bottom. Surprisingly, no tattoos. Frank gasps loudly before swirling around, his face beet red. To my dismay, he's holding his junk securely in one of his hands, therefore it being out of my vision.

"What the fuck was that, Mister?" One of Frank's perfectly shaped eyebrows cocks upward before he tilts his head. There's a faint trace of a smirk on his soft lips, and an irresistible look in those hazel green eyes.

"I like your butt. It's cute. It was right there. I couldn't resist. I slapped it." I fold my lips into my mouth briefly, trying to prevent the smile I feel coming, as I return the look he was giving me with his eyes.

Literally, we just share a silent conversation. For like, five minutes.

He raised his eyebrows, I raised mine or fluttered my eyelashes. I bit my lip, he shifted uncomfortably where he stood. He narrowed his eyes trying to figure me out, I slowly raised the blanket that covered me higher up my slightly spread thighs.

"Fuck, Gerard, stop that."

"Stop what?" Playing dumb, I raise the blanket the rest of the way to where it's just covering me there, opening my legs just enough for him to notice.

"You know well what." Frank's using both his hands to cover himself now, and I can guess why. I've given him a problem. Ahah! Success!

"Do I really?" I lick my lips before sliding the blanket off of my side, revealing my hip bone. A deep groan sounds from back in Frank's throat before he practically threw himself on me, hurling aside the blanket I used as cover in the process.

He goes for my neck before bringing his face up to mine, gazing into me, a hint of animalistic lust in the back of them before I connect my lips to his and my tongue seeks for entrance, all as he's grinding steadily onto me.

Time for round two.

-

Our tired bodies plopped down onto the most-definitely messy bed with huffs being let out of our mouths with aching muscles from overuse in less than 24 hours. We're panting heavily, doing our best to catch our breath. I'm laying on my back staring at the ceiling, processing this amazing act that I'd been missing out on while Frank was on his stomach, staring at me. He lifted his hand and traced over my hickeys he had given me.

"Have fun covering these up." My eyes widen as my hands shoot up to where his was previously.

"How noticeable are they?!" I shoot up to a sitting position and turn to look at him, my eyes still wide in panic. Frank just gives me his classic smirk. Seriously, when doesn't he smirk?

"Why don't you take a look for yourself?" My head nods rapidly as I toss the blanket aside and scurry to the bathroom in the middle of the hallway.

Frank definitely heard my scream of frustration. Because he burst out in laughter, and continued to laugh as he made his way into the bathroom to join me. I was rapidly checking over the hickeys all over my body. There were six alone on my neck and collarbone. With an added four on my shoulders. Don't forget the three scattered on my upper chest. Plus two on my left hipbone from when he was stretching me our first time.

"Jesus Christ." I mutter to myself. "How do you cover hickeys up?" I throw my question at my boyfriend, who, admittedly, I was a little mad at.

"Makeup."

"Where do I get makeup, you idiot?!" Franks sniggers before wrapping his arms around me and stepping closer.

"I'll go get some. I would have some, but hey, I haven't been in a relationship or even one night stands in a while. So I haven't had to worry about it." I look down with a smile and a small 'thank you' before tracing my own hands over the hickeys I in turn had given Frank. I counted 5 on his neck, and one particularly bigger and darker one between his neck and shoulder. I had bitten hard when all the sensations got extra pleasurable. There was also a really dark one right in front of his scorpion tattoo.

"This is gonna be hard to cover, don't you think?" I wink. Frank checks the one I pointed out in the mirror.

"Fuck, yeah it is. Don't underestimate me, though! I can do it."

"Sure."

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"You got me." I raise my hands in surrender. A smile tugging on my lips. Frank narrows his eyes at me.

"Fuck you."

"Oh, but you already did that, Babe. Twice." Frank snorts before putting his face in one of his hands, shaking it.

"Dammit, Gerard." I step right up in front of him and sling my arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss.

"You know I'm right." is mumbled against his lips. He pulls me close by my waist. "Shut up." Frank mumbles in return. "Make me."

Frank makes me shut up.

He kisses me passionately and squeezes my butt with one hand while the other is still wrapped around my waist as he starts directing us toward the bathtub. Frank broke our kiss once we both somehow made it into the tub.

"We should shower." I nod in agreement before pecking my boyfriend's rounded nose, which he scrunches up.

"You're cute."

"UGH stOP let's just shower." All said with a beautiful blush grazed across his cheeks. He turns around and turns it on and adjusts the temperature, but not before I can feel bone-chilling water splash onto me. I let out a screech at the sudden feeling and try to back away so the water isn't touching me. I can't always get what I want, though, because it's still spraying onto my lower legs and feet. Frank jumped at my scream, then laughed as he realized the cause to my outburst.

"I didn't even realize I turned the shower on before adjusting the temperature, I'm so sorry, oh my God." Frank tried to coax me back to him, all while still laughing. He held his arms out to me, hesitantly, I put my hands in his own and he gently pulled me into him before he started to wash my hair.

His hands massaging my head relieving the tension in my muscles all over.

-

I was huddled in a ball with leftover cheese pizza in my lap on the couch watching Gravity Falls when Frank walked into the room with full attire.

"I'm gonna go get you some makeup for your lovely marks all over your body. I'll be back in like ten minutes. Just chill here, I guess."

"Okay." Frank grabbed his keys before walking over to me and leaning down, signalling he wanted a kiss. I turned my face toward his and leaned in slowly, my gaze wide and innocent looking into his. Then instead of connected my lips to his slightly puckered up ones, I put the end of my piece of pizza there instead. Shocked at the feeling that he wasn't expecting, Frank sputters before wiping his mouth then stares at me with a smile.

"Really?" I just grin really big and scrunch my face up in a proud, child-like manner before taking a bite out of the delicious cheese pizza. Frank shakes his head before leaning in again, which I accept this time, and connect my lips to his for a brief moment.

"Be back really soon, I love you." Frank says, walking to the door.

"Love ya." I call out over my shoulder, too engulfed by Gravity Falls at the moment. As Frank had said, he returned in ten minutes. As soon as he walked in he tossed a bag to me. It had two bottles that matched my skin tone perfectly of foundation and concealer in it. Also a box of Junior Mints. Oh, Frank. I felt him plop down next to me as I was reading both the bottles.

"Okay, so, first, apply this," he pointed to the foundation. "not too heavy, or it'll look cake-y, like all those girls' faces at school that wear too much makeup. Then you apply this, the concealer, over the spots that need extra help getting rid of. These should last you awhile."

"Thank you."

"You are most certainly welcome. Wanna go test it out?" A smile creeps onto both our faces as we look at each other for a second then rush up to the bathroom to test our hickey hiding materials.

-

The rest of the day went by with Frank playing me some songs, and him teaching me some chords that I could never get in my past endeavors of learning. He was sat right behind me, both his hands over mine in their respectful places as he directed my hands on where to go. After that, I had drawn for a little bit, Frank admiring it and asking questions. In the end, I taught him the basics of how to draw a comic-style face. He wasn't at all bad, actually. But he just ended up creating his own little ghost character and naming it Boozey.

That night we watched the Kurt Cobain documentary 'Montage of Heck'. Even though we had both seen it before, we decided we loved it too much and rewatched it together. Cobain's life is fascinating. And to me, one of the greatest and misunderstood people who lived in this world. His creativity and talent never cease to amaze me.

We ended up falling asleep on the couch, me on top of him, in between his legs and my head resting on his chest just below his own head.

The next morning, our bodies ached from numbness. Especially Frank's, seeing as I did sleep right on top of him. I had to get up and let him lay there for five minutes before he felt any sort of relief through his body.

When we woke up, it was nearing 10 o'clock. Frank had had a surprise for me pop into his head, so we had both changed into outfits for the day before heading out to his surprise location. It was Dunkin' Donuts. Yes! We got coffees and half a dozen donuts, and, well, ate all of them.

This whole weekend Frank managed to keep my mind away from my own personal hell. And there's nothing more I could ask for. He dropped me off at the corner of my street at 2 p.m. so I could finish up homework. Mikey questioned the shit out of me. So did Mom. I just told them to stuff it and stay out of my business unless I felt obligated to tell them or just wanted to. When six p.m. hit, mom had dinner ready. So we ate, then I showered, then went up to my room and read comics. Or, tried to read comics. Lindsey and Pete were snapchatting me like crazy. Eventually I just turned off my phone, not before texting Frank of course, then went to bed. This was at only 9 p.m. I was that tired.

-

Come Monday morning, I felt extremely rested. We were all finally getting peaceful sleep around here without my dad around. I shuffled lazily to the bathroom with my secret stash of makeup. I inspected myself to find that some of the dark purple marks had gotten lighter, to my relief. But a couple had gotten darker, especially one right under my ear, where my weak spot was. I figured this was because Frank found a favoring to sucking on that particular spot. I sighed at the memories. After five minutes, I managed to cover them all up pretty damn well. The one under my ear really hurt, so I touched it up until I found it suitable, the sting driving me away from messing with it too much.

I made my way downstairs and ate breakfast with my mom and my brother, us joking and being genuinely happy together as a family.

-

Chemistry class was filing in and so far my hickeys had gone unnoticed today. Though I spotted one peeking out from Frank's shirt collar when he made a certain movement. I discreetly got his attention and tapped to the same location on my neck, which he immediately understood, and adjusted his shirt so it would hopefully stay.

"Soo.." an intimidating voice starts from my left, suddenly. "How was my little loverboy's weekend?"

"Lindsey, shut up." Immediately after I said that, her hands were moving my already growing rapidly in length hair away from my neck, investigating it. She tilted her head, tilted my neck, narrowed her eyes, mumbled to herself.

"Damn."

"What was that?"

"I was checking for love marks." I raised my eyebrows.

"...Why?"

"I just, I dunno I had this feeling in my gut," she rubbed her tummy, "that something happened."

"Well it's not like it's any of your business anyways." Lindsey is kneeling in front of my desk now, resting her arms and head on the top edge of it.

"Oh but it is. I must make sure my little hermit is getting out of his shell." I roll my eyes, when I land my gaze on someone, I had to do a double take.

His hair was a dirty golden blonde buzzed on the sides and back, part of his, I guess you'd call it fringe, hanging down the right side of his forehead. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He looked good. Then we made eye contact.

Piercing blue eyes, ones that I couldn't forget, after what I'd been put through seeing those eyes.

You guessed who, yet?

.

Bert McCracken.

My mouth parted. He kind of stumbled on his footing, nothing noticeable unless you were looking dead at him, which I was. I smiled a little bit, holding in a giggle. Bert noticed, and smiled a little bit in return, with the corner of his mouth. We shared another glance, and I noticed a light shade of pink across his cheeks, and felt my own face grow slightly hotter.

What? Why did that just happen?

Before I could question it further, class started up. Everybody went to their seats and Frank explained how we were going to go over one last section before reviewing for a test, which we would have on Friday. Groans were various throughout the classroom, which Frank grinned at. Hah, what a teacher.

"Sir, what is that on your neck?" an overly spray-tanned girl in the second row brought up the inevitable when there was a short silence.

"What do you mean?"

"By your shirt collar."

"It looks like a hickey." A jock spoke up.

"Hah, duuuude it totally is he so got laid over the weekend." the jock's buddy added on.

"Omg, like, Mr. Iero, is that true?" the same girl from earlier asked.

"Yeah! Please, it has to be. I totally wouldn't be surprised either you're not ugly at all like everybody talks about you out of class you're like, the next thing when it comes to that one teacher in every school that everybody loves." Another girl from near the back pipes up.

Chatter erupts right after she finishes, from everybody except me, Frank, and, I noticed, Bert. Who was looking at me.

"Alright, alright! Everybody! Settle down! Leave the topic, okay? Who cares?"

"All of us."

"Why?"

"Because it's not schoolwork and it involves your personal life." The girl from the second row appeared to be the spokesperson for the class.

"Why should you be caring about my personal life? Especially the stuff you're insinuating happened?"

"Because, Mr. Iero. It's gossip. High schools feed off of gossip."

"Still gives me no reason to tell you."

"You're denying of it just gives us more proof that it did happen." Frank just sighs and puts his hand up to his face, then runs it through his unkempt hair.

"Fine, it's a fucking hickey, and no, I didn't just cuss in class, don't tell a soul."

"Was the chick hot?" Another popular dude brings up, which I just roll my eyes at. I hear Lindsey snort loudly, resulting in me putting my head in my folded up arms on my desk briefly.

"For all you know I like hot guys." There was a brief silence before the class erupted yet again.

"So are you saying you're gay?"

"Omg gay guys are my spirit animals."

Wow. Teenagers.

"Class! Yeah, I'm gay, who cares, well, okay, I care, but that's not important. We've got stuff to learn. Yeah? Yeah! Cool." He glanced at me maybe four times after his remark about liking hot guys, a small smile on his lips each time.

Did that mean he thought I was hot? Oh my God, it did.

"Enough about hickeys, guys, let's get back to class."

More groans sounded throughout the room as I let out a sigh of relief.

-

The day had finally ended and I was walking toward my car along the outer side of the building with my backpack slung loosely over my right shoulder. I was looking at the ground, as I typically do, when I got hit with the smell of smoking. I looked up to find the source, and saw none other than Bert, back against the brick wall of the building, hand in pocket and one foot also on the wall. He was in only a t-shirt, though! Come on, he had to be cold.

"Smoking's bad for you, yaknow." I chimed in, slowly walking in his direction when he looked up. Once I mimicked Bert's stance beside him after placing my backpack on the ground, and my feet were crossed at the ankles, he replied, almost hesitantly, it seemed. Like he was shocked that I was speaking to him.

"Yeah, bad addictions for bad people." He took a drag.

"You can't be that bad." He scoffed.

"Like you would know, Gerard." Okay, he had a point. "Okay, yeah, you're right.." An awkward silence sat between us before Bert spoke up. "Why are you talking to me?" I furrowed my eyebrows. "I-I don't know.. I just, wanted to. I guess." He lifted his cigarette to his mouth, about to take another drag before I reached over and gently took it out of his hands, eyeing it before deciding 'what the hell' and trying it for myself as carefully as I could. Bert's eyes on me the whole time.

A lot fucking stronger than you think it is, friends. I immediately started coughing, leaning forward and resting my hands on my knees for balance. Bert was patting and rubbing my back.

"Dude! Are you okay? You better be okay, I was keeping an eye on you, it seemed like you'd never even held a cigarette before, so, yeah.." My spluttering had died down, quicker than I thought.

"Yeah, I-I'm fine. Fuck, that's strong." I signalled to the cigarette still between my fingers before giving it back to Bert, which he finished in another three drags. He pat my back again, though. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll just drink some water I've got in my car." My voice sounded harsh, it was getting better, but my throat did hurt. "Hey, where are your friends?" I had just noticed he was alone, as much as I didn't want to bring the topic up, my curiosity got the better of me.

"Wh-? Oh.. um, I guess you could say I ditched 'em. I didn't want to be friends with that... crowd, anymore I guess."

"So what 'crowd' are you with, then?"

"Honestly?" I nod my head. He threw his cigarette on the ground and stubbed it out. "I have none. Just, my lonely self now, really. No friends... I guess I kinda deserve it." I feel a pang in my chest. For the love of God, I cannot tell you why that is. I felt bad. I had been completely alone practically all of my freshman year, before Lindsey came along and brought me under her wing. I was afraid of what I was about to say, though.

"I'll be your friend." Bert's shocking blue eyes that resembled Kurt Cobain's stared into me with disbelief before he shook his head.

"Nah, you don't mean that. I mean, why would you, after all? After what I've put you through? Nah, you really don't mean it."

"Yes I do. I don't care about that past. You've very obviously changed since I last saw you. Your whole vibe you're giving off is even different. ...A good different." Bert just laughed briskly. I stepped sideways closer to him so our sides were touching, he gave me a sideways glance before I playfully shoved him a little bit. "I wanna help you. I can tell you're struggling. I don't know what about, if it's just one thing, or numerous things. But I want to help you, Bert. I struggled more than once before." We looked at each other, as I was anticipating his answer and he was weighing his options.

"Let me be your friend, Bert." I whispered, a little broken at seeing how doubtful he seemed.

"Okay." He croaked after a short pause. A big smile came over my face, and once Bert saw it, he did the same. I touched his arm, which caused him to jump slightly at from the unexpected skin to skin contact. "Thank you, Gerard."

I let go of his arm when I noticed Mikey heading to my car, and bent down to get my backpack.

"It's my pleasure." I nod my head in Mikey's direction. "I gotta head off, though."

"Oh, yeah, go ahead, then. I'll um, see ya around."

"I'll talk to you tomorrow." I say before giving him a sideways smile and walking to my car, before I remember something.

I turn back around.

"Oh, and, Bert?"

"Yeah?"

"I like your haircut."

He and I shared friendly grins, grins that were the starting point of our friendship to come.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i bet you guys weren't expecting that


	20. Can You Feel My Heart? Because You're Making it Beat out of My Chest

Bert's POV (woah, sue me)

When I step inside my house from walking home in the chilly air of New Jersey in December, I'm of course a trembling, shivering mess. That's what I get for thinking I'm too fucking punk rock for a jacket. Fuck it, Bert, that was idiotic. I spot my dad passed out on the couch. Not from drinking or drugs, mind you, okay, maybe a little bit of drugs, but because he works a night shift job at some packaging place. We only ever talk in evenings and in mornings, when I'm lazily getting ready for school and he's just getting home. Then he's got weekends off, so we try to do our "family" bonding time then.

But let me explain further. A night shift job is all my dad has been able to get that has good enough pay to afford our bills and rent for our apartment, plus food and a little extra for wasting away on cool shit like vinyls and other stuff like that. That's because my mom left us when I was in 7th grade. Prior to that happening, she had been coming home later from work and always claiming she was behind in paperwork that she had to get done. Plus, maybe six months or so before my mom ditched my dad and I, she seemed to stop all caring she had shown me. She just treated me like I was a resident in her home that was only staying for the week. She never looked me in the eyes except for stupid things like chores and even started sleeping in a different room from my dad. Then one day she was gone and we weren't able to afford to keep our home, so we got kicked out and here we are.

Did I miss her? Sure I did. But would I care if I ever saw her again? To be honest, not really. It really effected me when she left us (it was for some guy, but when isn't it?). I started rebelling. I stayed holed up in my room and snuck out at night to get cigarettes and eventually I got ahold of some beers. I also got into the wrong crowd, and started wasting my life away. That lasted up until now. My dad and I went to the music store, something that's very rare for us, and he surprised me with buying me my first own guitar. I had always played his, and he never had the money to buy me my own. Apparently he had been saving up some ever since I started high school. The guitar is beautiful. It's acoustic, the body made with dark rosewood and the neck from maple wood. The fretboard is inlaid with flying birds. This guitar is so gorgeous. When I first strummed her, it literally struck a chord in me. I didn't like the looks of where my life was going. I had to do something about that. So the next day, after playing my new guitar so much the previous day my fingers bled, I went and got my hair completely restyled. I got practically all of it shaved off except for the top of my head and had it dyed my natural color. That, strangely enough, made me feel completely different. And I felt so much better. (a/n this all took place during Thanksgiving break, I completely forgot about Thanksgiving and skipped over it. I facepalmed myself)

The next day when I hung out with my "friends", they couldn't stop teasing me about it. At first, I just went along with it, but they never stopped, and I snapped. I got angry at them. And they, in turn, got angry right back at me. I got punishment, as they put it, for talking to them like that. Even though I was considered the "leader" in the group. The fuckers I had called my friends for nearly six years beat me up. The bruises pained me for the remainder of Thanksgiving break. Luckily, they were minor when school started back up again. Now I was alone at school. I wasn't completely alone in life. I had a group of three guys I called my friends, but they go to a private school, so I only ever see them when we make plans. But I talk to them every day, usually. Their names are Quinn, Dan, and Jeph. We all play instruments, so we even jam out sometimes. It's really fun, and I've always felt it brought out the part of me that I was supposed to be, not how I was with the dicks I hung out with. Or, used to.

I grab myself leftover chicken wings and green beans from two nights ago and heat it up before taking it up to my room. I usually eat my "dinner" as soon as I get home from school, which is between 4 and 4:30. It lasts me until I go to sleep, so I roll with it. Thank the fucking Lord I don't have any homework to do tonight. My mind is on too many things to try and focus on schoolwork that I get C averages on. I grab my laptop and turn it on, then pull up tabs, one for tumblr, one for twitter, and one for facebook (because I thought "why not?") then turned on my music playlist on youtube, settling in for my typical night of relaxation. My facebook timeline is pretty boring right now, occassionally I'll find interesting articles from Alternative Press or Rolling Stone. My gaze drifts over to the 'find friends' bar. I was bored, so once again today, I thought "fuck it" and decided to click it. About the 8th recommended person down, I find none other than Gerard Way. I click his profile (of course, why wouldn't I?) And admittedly, I looked through his profile pictures over the years. It's currently of him and Mikey doing the classic rock on hand gesture, I'm guessing that was when they went to a concert. Damn, I shouldn't be scrolling through pictures of him, this is fucking creepy. As if on cue, though, I got a notification. A friend request. From motherfucking Gerard Way.

Were we on each other's profiles at the same time?

Pretending to be chill about it, I listen to one or two songs and finish eating my food before I hit accept, not wanting to be right on top of accepting that request, of course. Ten minutes pass before Gerard messages me.

Gerard Way: I know this is fucking awkward and the first time we actually properly talked was not even 4 hours ago, but hi.

Bert McCracken: You're fine, dude. I was actually about to send you a friend request when I got yours, to be honest

Gerard Way: Oh wow really? weirddddd. but cool, nonetheless

Bert McCracken: Yeah.. but anyways, what's up in your world?

Gerard Way: oh, eh nothing. i had a little bit of homework that i just got done with. now i'm listening to music and drawing and am on here simultaneously

you?

Bert McCracken: im literally only surfing the interwebs, i have nothing to do

Gerard Way: what do you usually do?

Bert McCracken: id have been having out with my friends

Gerard Way: ... oh okay um awkward i'm really sorry now

Bert McCracken: hey my life isn't miserable, that's just what i usually would've done, but it's different now, and for the better, so i'm happy

Gerard Way: I'm strangely happy to hear that

Bert McCracken: thanks? OH um do you understand what we're learning in chem? i'm almost failing the class i can't understand shit and i have a gut feeling i'm gonna fail the test friday

Gerard Way: yeah, i understand it. not to the point where i ace absolutely everything, but I get a steady B grade, so yeah. do you want help? I mean I could help, we could study together or something

My heart flipped a little. To be honest, I've never been able to get him out of my head ever since I kissed him. I don't know what the fuck is going on. I'm lost, I've always crushed on girls before and always checked them out, then maybe two years ago I started noticing guys in the same way. I went to bed a lot of the time with a red face from slapping myself, hoping that would fix things in my head. I did everything in my will to assure myself I was okay. I got those magazines of girls. And others. I'm still scared shitless. I feel bubbly whenever I see Gerard, this started shortly after I began noticing guys differently. Then I started noticing his shy nature and how he'd keep to himself. Whenever he was doodling and a classmate passed by and complimented it a shy smile formed on his face as it turned pink and he mumbled a "thanks". I couldn't take my eyes off of him when he was like that. I thought it was the most heart-melting thing. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and protect him from the harsh world. I also noticed how he opened up when he was with his friends. His posture was more confident and inviting, his eyes bright and a smile never leaving his face. What took me one day was at lunch within the first week of this school year. It was when I heard his laugh. I felt this pang in my chest as my heart rate sped up. I remember thinking to myself that I wanted to be the cause of that laugh. I wanted to be able to make such an angelic sound occur from him. That's when I finally admitted to myself I was crushing on him. So of course I got jealous when I noticed him and Mr. Iero giving subtle glances and smiles at each other during class. I knew there was something going on. And I was right. I grew a disliking for Mr. Iero for no reason. He did nothing wrong to me, and is an excellent teacher while also remaining laid back. All because he managed to capture the heart of the one I finally decided I was after. I couldn't let my friends know that, though. In any way, shape, or form. So I acted like a dick. I was a huge dick. I hated being that way, but I couldn't raise suspicion, so I did what I did.

Bert McCracken: Youd help me?

Gerard Way: of course i would. if somebody offered me the help, i'd take it.

well actually maybe not, it'd have to depend on if i liked them or not :D

Bert McCracken: okay yeah literally me

Gerard Way: um, but anyways, how's Wednesday? that way we'll have done the review in class, so that'll benefit us.

Bert McCracken: wow, i'd love that actually. uh at my apartment, maybe? i'd suggest the library or something, but there's no food

Gerard Way: hahaha I literally just laughed out loud. yeah i guess that's fine. food is very important

I made him laugh and I didn't get to hear it.

Bert McCracken: i just felt immense relief already, thank you so much

Gerard Way: I really hope I can help you understand things better! and if you want, we can get together Thursday too to study and quiz each other and stuff

Bert McCracken: fuck please i feel like i'd need that

Gerard Way: will do, then :) But hey I've got to go. I wanna work on something for my art class so I dont have to rush to get it done the night before it's due. i'll see ya tomorrow?

Bert McCracken: tomorrow

Gerard Way: good :D

And with that, Bert McCracken's body was filled with relief from worry about chemisty class but his heart was racing a million beats per minute at his rapidly budding friendship with the boy he's liked for two years.

-

"Okay! Everybody, today and tomorrow we're gonna do review. We don't have class on Thursday, then your test is Friday. You're gonna get in groups of two or three at the lab tables around the classroom because I've concocted this rad way to review. Okay, it's like a Jeopardy set up. I got certain things that'll be on the test organized into categories I thought fit well. And these questions on here are the same that's on the test. Except on the true or false. Some of those may be rearranged." Everybody got up and went to different tables. I head over to the table near the front on the right side of the classroom and sit down, not surprised that nobody has joined me. As I said, my "friends" and I ditched each other. When I looked up, I saw Mr. Iero glance at me sympathetically. I knew he didn't really like me, which I'm not surprised about, but he still was a nice enough person to care whenever he saw someone else was noticeably not having the easiest time. What took me by surprise, however, was when I continued to scan the classroom and my eyes landed on Gerard walking to me, in his usual black high top Converse, black skinny jeans, and band shirt (Iron Maiden today), with a cardigan on that I recognized to be Mr. Iero's. Nobody else would realize that except Gerard's own friends.

"Is it alright if I sit with you?" He gestured to the stool that was between us. His voice was quiet, but unwavering. I nod once and purse my lips into a small smile before he sits down and smiles at me, genuine kindness laced all throughout his face, especially his bright eyes. I glanced over his shoulders when I saw Mr. Iero out of the corner of my eye passing out whiteboards with dry erase markers and my eyes landed on Lindsey Ballato staring at us with a look of confusion and maybe even a hint of disgust. Of course. My reputation has given that effect on how people look at me. When Mr. Iero reaches our table he subtly touches Gerard's arm, which I observed made him blush, making me clench my jaw and clench my eyes shut to hold in my feelings.

"Alright everyone. I gave you these whiteboards so you could work on some of the math-related problems..." Mr. Iero's voice is drained out when Gerard speaks quietly, leaning over to me slightly.

"Was Lindsey staring over here earlier?" I look back over his shoulder. She was casting glances.

"She's like, glancing over occasionally, but she's still got the same look on her face from when she was staring over here earlier."

"Is it like confusion and-"

"I personally think it's confusion and disgust."

"Why would it be disgust?"

"Because it's you. Over here with me, of all people. What other way would she look at me?" Gerard just stares at me, trying to find his words.

"I-I ...I-"

"It's okay, I'm used to it."

"It's not okay."

"Gerard, does it look like I care about how she looks at me?"

"Well, no... but I know that you do actually care what people think of you. I can kinda see it in your eyes, more than your mannerisms."

"...Am I that easy to read?" My heart was pounding now. I didn't want him to be able to tell I liked him. Oh no, God forbid. I couldn't let that happen. I glance back over at Lindsey, she was looking at me again, almost like she was trying to read me. I went back to reading the question on the SmartBoard. Gerard and I were somehow managing to converse and do the questions at the same time. We'd only gotten one wrong, me doing most of the thinking with Gerard's help to understand it. Really, technically, he was already tutoring me, in a way.

Gerard narrowed his eyes as he studied me, then, before answering my question.

"Nah, not really." I visibly relaxed, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "I can kinda read your mannerisms, like when you're nervous or annoyed, typical stuff like that." I nod in understanding. The rest of the class we focused on the review, me already feeling better about my knowledge of the subject.

"You're already understanding this stuff well. I think you'll do fine on the test, actually." We're chilling for the last minutes of class while Mr. Iero comes around to collect the whiteboards we had used. Gerard had both his arms folded over each other, leaning forward in his seat, looking over at me, with both my arms spread outwards on the desk, resting my chin on the desk between my arms.

"Hah, were you doubting me?" I raise my eyebrow and tilt my head slightly so I can look at him. His eyes widen before he starts to panic a little.

"NO nonono that's mean why would I do that oh my God I feel bad now-"

"Hey, hey, I was joking dude chill out." A crooked smile forms as I watch Gerard's embarrassment. He stops his rambling and looks at me before his cheeks flush and he smiles before letting out a breathy laugh and sits up, putting both his hands in his lap, making his figure as small as possible.

"S-sorry." He looks down at his lap and fiddles with his hands. I notice he's biting his lip and avoiding eye contact. I move my upper half, that's still resting on the table, to his line of vision.

"Dude, you just got really shy." His eyes shoot up to meet mine as he brings up his right hand to bite on his thumbnail before he sighs in defeat and rubs his hand up through his hair bye his neck, my eyes catch a glimpse of something under his ear, that his growing hair had previously hidden before he moved it.

"Wait is that a hickey?!" I whisper to him, looking in the general direction it was at.

"What?!" His hand shoots up to the exact location and once again, his face reddens, but a lot more this time.

"Oh my God, it is."

"Shit." He mumbled under his breath as he fumbled to fix his hair to the way it was before, I caught him glimpsing back and forth from the ground to Mr. Iero while he did so. Yep, as I thought. Apparently Gerard's frantic behavior caught Lindsey's attention. Her look of confusion grew to a smirk, like she knew. Which honestly, she probably did. She is his best friend.

"Yes, it's a fucking hickey, don't tell a soul or I swear to G-" I interrupt his hushed tone.

"I'm not gonna tell anybody." Gerard blinked a couple times before it being like he realized that I was right. I knew about him and Mr. Iero and he they were, still completely fine.

"When do these things go away?" Gerard's voice suddenly grew shy and curious. I smirked at him.

"Usually a week, but it depends on how much pressure was put on them. Some go away within the day you get 'em, some not." I did have experience with hickeys, because yeah, in the group of people I hung around, we went to parties. I had a fair amount of practice in giving and receiving the notorious "love mark".

"Okay..." I saw Mr. Iero from his desk and him share a look before Gerard stuck his tongue out at him really quick, a silent conversation having gone on between them. I ignored it. "Oh! I almost forgot." Gerard leaned down to his backpack he'd brought over with him to grab something. I turned my eyes away and looked down at my hands, playing with the hangnails I had. I saw Lindsey observing us once again, more me than the both of us, but still. Gerard sat back up with an Avengers pencil bag. I smile at the sight of it. Really, I was a closet nerd. I didn't show it, but I liked comics, superhero movies, classic roleplay games, video games other than combat games, etc. Gerard quickly and gracefully took out a sharpie before reaching for my right arm and gently grabbing my wrist. My heart fluttered at the contact; I sucked in a breath and felt my face grow warmer. He was writing a series of numbers on my inner forearm. His phone number. He finished it off with an 'xoG'. Oh God, I didn't want to wash that off, ever. Then, as if on cue, the bell rang. We made eye contact, and Gerard smiled, showing all his tiny teeth, and I couldn't help the grin that I returned. His hand lightly grazed my own as he retracted, closing his sharpie and putting it away, along with the rest of his utensils.

"Don't lose that number, McCracken. Text me when you can so I can add you into my contacts." He shoots me another sideways grin before picking up his backpack. I snapped out my trance and did the same. I figured he was gonna stay behind to get a few minutes with his boyfriend... that I was extremely jealous of.

"Alright I'll text you, then if you really want. Or maybe I'll 'forget' to."

"If you forget, I'll pester the shit out of you, don't test me." Gerard playfully punches my arm before double-checking on plans for after school tomorrow and bidding farewell. Frank and I nodding to one another as I follow the last of the students out of Chemistry class. I turn my head around and catch a glimpse of them smiling gleefully at one another, before I hear that laugh that makes me weak, and then the door closes, shutting them out from all of us out here. I let out a sigh before running my hand over Gerard's phone number, remembering his touch on my skin.

Then I start walking to my English class, trying to continue on with my day.

-


	21. What's Happened Between You Two Before

Gerard's POV

"That's good of you, you know."

"What is?"

"The fact that you're being a friend to Bert. Reaching out to him when he obviously has no one. As much as I have a grudge against him, I can't help but feel like I relate to how he must be feeling right now, whatever that may be. The feeling of loneliness. I can see it in his eyes and his mannerisms. But when he saw you walking towards him, his eyes lit up. He was hesitant if he wanted to say yes, but he did in the end. Bert recognized a kind face when he saw it. I'm proud of you. Being the better person." Frank swings my hands back and forth in his, a proud grin plastered on that stupid, adorable face of his.

"Thanks..." I scrunch my face up when he leans in and pecks my nose. "I'm actually gonna help him prepare for your test. He asked me if I understood what we were learning because he didn't and I offered to help. I'm going over to his after school today and tomorrow."

"Why not the library?"

"No food and drinks to get whenever we choose." Smiles creep up onto our faces, feelings of relatability going through our systems. Growing boys and their love for food.

"Smart of him."

"Yeah. ...but anyways, during review, he was already showing improvement. With some of my help, he managed to answer most of the questions. We only got a couple wrong." Frank's eyes widen briefly before returning to normal.

"That's really good. His grades were starting to get lower the past couple weeks. But don't tell him I told you. I shouldn't have told you that, that's against the rules of my lovely teaching job." Frank gestured to the surroundings of his classroom, like a King showing off his castle. I shake my head at his strange sense of proudness before taking the few steps we had parted from each other and kissing him lovingly.

"You're stupid."

"And you're pretty. Go to class." Frank shoves me playfully and I walk to the door. I was going to have to run to my next class if I wanted to get there on time, seeing as I didn't have study hall today.

"By the way, good for you helping Bert. You're moving past what's happened between you two before, and I can tell he is, too. Tutor him well, I know you can." Frank sends me a quick wink and I smile in return before I turn and exit as his next class is filing in.

You're moving past what's happened between you two before

That's just the thing that's wracking my mind as I rush to my French 4 class. I haven't moved past everything. I've moved past his inappropriate behavior towards me, but the other thing. Sometimes I forget it happened, but sometimes it slides through from the back of my mind full force to my consciousness. And so far today, it's stayed put on my thoughts all day. When he kissed me after saying he liked me that one time only almost three months back, it felt like ages, actually. Did he still supposedly like me? And why do I care so much about it if he does? I have a boyfriend. One I love deeply. One I've pictured getting married to, going on vacations together, spending holidays together, having a family together.

Then Bert comes around and his presence is messing with my feelings. I can't stop thinking about a stupid kiss that didn't mean a damn thing. My mind was so taken that I didn't realize I was sitting in my seat in French class, somehow managing to take notes from the PowerPoint that Madame Love was teaching us with today. It was focusing on French fashion through the ages today. That's what I loved about her lessons. She didn't focus just on learning the language. She's beyond passionate about the culture and everything to do with the country as well. And her optimism is shown through her teaching. She manages to make it a fun class no matter what.

By the time lunch came, I was getting my food when I noticed Bert just finishing getting his before kind of scanning the lunchroom, I guess deciding where to sit. I was gonna motion to him to come over to me, but he hadn't looked in my direction. After I got mine, I immediately went over to the circular table he sat himself at and plopped down on his left side. He jumped a little at my sudden presence. I saw my friends in the distance, one by one their heads turning to look over here laced with confusion. Some of them knew about the instance of how Bert got suspended a couple days. I bit my tongue and squeezed my eyes shut, ignoring them.

"You okay?"

"Hmm? Yeah, yeah... just. It's nothing." Bert obviously didn't believe me, but didn't push the subject, thankfully. He opened his mouth to reply.

"Fags." I clearly make out before both of our heads are shoved forward forcefully. Bert's was more forceful than mine, though. His head bonked a little on the surface on the table, whereas mine was only close to it. Annoyed, I turn my head to find the culprit.

"Fuckers." Bert mumbles under his breath right as I make eye contact with one of his old goons. His old group of friends were now starting to target us, it seems. Great. Just what I needed right now. The stress at home was finally wearing off. Mom and Dad almost finalized with the divorce papers I didn't know about until last week. She had located him at his best friend's house a couple cities away. So since my life was starting to get remotely easier, no-gooders have to start making it hell again at school. I hadn't experienced any remote, physical bullying since my freshman year.

"Try your best to ignore them. That's what I've always done. It's worked ...on most cases."

"I feel like that'll be harder on my case considering my previous state on the social class of high school chart." I blink my eyes once, taking in his frustration before smiling sympathetically at him. He really did need a friend. I'm going to be that friend. A clearing of a throat snaps me out of my thoughts and I look up to find the source: Lindsey. Surrounded by our other friends, minus Pete, and Mikey keeping him company. I remember Pete and Bert having a bad history in grade school, ever since Bert showed up in 6th grade. I didn't know if he changed schools or moved from a different state or what. I'd have to ask him. I guess him and Pete still remained on bad terms. I saw Pete glare over here a few times already. I didn't know exactly what happened between them, either. I'm gonna have to do a lot of asking questions to get to know Bert. Which I'm excited about, in a way.

"You mind if we join you? You two look like you need some cheering up. ...yes we saw the incident that just happened. I've always those dudes." Lindsey and Bert share a look. "Sorry, Bert, I-" he shook her off.

"I ditched 'em for a reason." They smile before my friends all sat down with Bert and I. Lindsey across from us, Dallon by her, then Hayley between him and I. On Lindsey's other side was Ray then Andy by Bert. Andy looked a tad bit hesitant, but he wouldn't judge a person ever before getting to know them. And by looking at him now, I realize he wants to do that. So do all the people filling the table, I notice. I smile to myself as my heart swells. Bert's found new friends among us. A new home.

-

Through the progress of lunch, Bert slowly opened up to the insane people I call my friends. We all discussed mutual bands we were into, and it turns out he plays guitar. Which of course gained Ray's utmost interest (he's an avid lover for the instrument), so they struck up conversation about that. We all talked about comics as well, this topic brought Andy out of his shell more, obviously. His enthusiasm about X-Men was as strong as ever. God, I love these people. What I noticed once out of the corner of my eye, though, was Dallon and Hayley holding hands as discreetly as possible under the table. Lucky for me, being sat right by them, I noticed. I remember smiling to myself, holding in my thoughts. I planned to confront at least one of them. Whoever I got to privately first.

That person being Hayley.

I spot her a few feet ahead of me, so I rush up to her before she's able to get to whatever class she has now.

I bump her right shoulder with mine. "Hey." She sideways smiles at me.

"Long time no see, ay?"

"I know I know. But hey. No distracting me. I searched you down for a reason. Interrogation time." Her eyes widen briefly as thoughts of the possibilities to what I'm going to ask her run through her mind at a million miles per hour.

"What is it, Gee?" Hayley's gaze is skeptical with her narrowing eyes under her dyed bright orange hair stares me down.

"At lunch today. I noticed a thing. Involving you... and... somebody." Hayley seems to catch on rather quickly because I notice her steps falter by mine slightly before picking back up again. And when I turn my head to glance at her, red color was in the beginning stages of flooding her face.

"You and Dallon, huh?" Hayley sighs while rolling her eyes before a shy smile creeps onto her still blushing face.

"You noticed." I nod in accomplishment and stand taller, showing pride.

"When'd it start?"

"Literally only two weeks ago as of yesterday."

"Two whole weeks?! And neither of you thought to tell any of us?!" I gawp at my friend, who I realized, I don't talk to as much as I'd like. I need to change that.

Hayley hushes me frantically when a couple other students walking the hallway turn their gazes briefly to us. "Shush! Dallon wants to, like, tomorrow. So just wait. Well, you know now, so don't tell a soul or I will find you. I will hunt you down." I raise my eyebrow at her attempt of intimidation. "Don't underestimate my short female powers. I am a magical, strong, and independent short female!" Hayley strikes a Wonder Woman pose with the proudest smile adorned on her pale, blemish-free face.

"Stop, you're adorable, my feels can't take it." Hayley lets out a laugh before dismissing herself into the classroom we finally reached. I waved bye before continuing on to my ceramics class. We're working on making mini totem poles. Mine is nothing special, just random designs and patterns and short quotes I come up with. I plan on giving it to my mom when we get them to take home at the end of the school year. Right now I'm on my third out of four levels there are to the ceramic piece. The deadline is next month, and ceramics takes a long while, so I kinda have to rush to get everything done on time. And luckily today is long bell, so I've got extra time to work. The class passes all too quickly with me concentrating and listening to my music. Now I've just got English left before helping Bert with Chemistry.

Speaking of chemistry, I pass Frank walking with another science teacher to the staff room on my way to the last 50 minutes of school. We make eye contact before he quickly winks at me and flashes a small smile. Somehow, it made me more flustered than usual, and Frank noticed. He let out a breathy laugh. Shyly and still flustered, I manage to get to the right classroom and into my seat with my head down the entire time.

I decide that I want to ask Frank on a date. So far it's been him asking me. I want to be the one to do it for once. I should ask him. Once I plan it out... Hmm. I know he spoke of wanting to see Ant-Man. But where could we go where we wouldn't have the chance of running into anybody we knew? I'd figure it out. A movie night. We haven't had one of those albeit inside his home. I want a movie night out. To hold my boyfriend's hand and get hot chocolate at a street vendor after watching something we're both interested in on the big screen. I find myself smiling at the thought and snap out of my trance and focus back on what we're learning. We do have exams in only a few short weeks before Christmas break, after all.

The rest of class ends rather abruptly when a female student's voice fills the overhead intercoms. A rare end-of-day announcement. Huh. I wonder what it's about.

Attention students and staff of Belleville High School! It's nearing time for our annual Winter Ball! Remember that tickets cost $10 for single and $20 for a couple! Girls and boys, please review the dress code sent via email! We don't want to have to kick you out for anything too inappropriate! As a reminder, the dance is being held Friday, December 18th! After the exam week is over! It's like a celebration for all your hard work. Then you're free from school for Christmas break! Doors open at 7:30 pm and close at 9. No one will be allowed in after that. The dance ends at 11:30. There will be breathalyzers! So don't try to drink or anything remotely of that sort or you will not be allowed in. To the staff that are working chaperone that night, an email was sent to you with final details of your attire and your duties for the night. Reply to Principal Miller one you receive and have read through the details, and include questions if you have any. And to end the announcement, power through our last few weeks before break! You can do it!

Fuck, the school dance. I forgot. We started getting emails and details about it right before Thanksgiving break, which we spent at Mom's sister's place with her side of the family, minus Grandma, she couldn't make it this year. Which bummed me out. I haven't seen her since we visited her last when she insisted she meet Frank. Maybe Christmas that could happen? I'd love that. But anyways, Lindsey really wanted me to go to the dance. As well as Pete and Hayley. They were adamant that I attend. And that only increased once Frank and I were a thing. They spurted out random ideas of theirs that we'd slow dance and then kiss lovingly under the sparkling ball on the dancefloor. But then I reminded them that couldn't happen. He's our teacher. Which bummed them out. And honestly, me as well a little bit.

But anyways, I had the money with me, so after school I went to the office and bought my ticket, knowing the others all had theirs already, before searching out Bert. I found him where we talked outside only two days before.

"You ready to fry your brain?" Bert looks up at the sound of my voice and mocks dread.

"It will kill me, I will see to it." His voice fills with the typical American impersonation of a British accent, which makes me laugh. I notice his eyes flicker with something when I do, and it makes my laughter die down. I shake that from my mind altogether.

"Wanna get some coffee or something first? It is December, therefore, fucking freezing. Today, Bert adorns a hoodie over his t-shirt. 'Better than nothing.' I think to myself. He nods.

"That sounds so good right now." By now we've reached my car and I unlock it. "What about Mikey? Doesn't he usually ride home with you?"

"Oh, yeah. He knows I'm helping you study so he's getting a ride from Pete." Bert's expression stiffens at the mention of my friend more emo than me.

I start my car up and turn the radio on a local rock station before heading off in the direction of Starbucks. "What happened? Between you and Pete?" Bert shifts uncomfortably in his seat before resting his head on the chilled window and watching our passing surroundings. There's a silence for a few minutes before he speaks up.

"We were friends. Good friends. We did practically everything together. When we didn't, he was with your group of friends. And I was fine with that. I had friends that didn't go to the same school that I wanted to see. Pete and I, honestly, were like brothers. That's the friendship we shared. That was, until my mom randomly left one day. ...it was in sixth grade by the way. And, well... yeah, it affected me. I guess you could say that I rebelled. That was my way of coping with my loss."

"I'm sorry... I didn't even know you used to be friends." Bert scoffs, not in a rude way.

"It's fine. Most people don't. But yeah. I got into smoking, which lead into befriending the wrong crowd of people. And therefore I eventually got into some other things. I changed. But I blamed Pete for being the one that changed. When in fact, he remained the same old guy. We argued. Not the first argument we've had, but by far the worst. So, as a result, our friendship came to a sizzling end. I was so caught up in rebellion, I pushed away the closest friend I ever had." I was silent, processing the story of how the bullying Bert I had always known came to be.

"I miss him sometimes. Pete. More as of recent."

"Do you think you could ever fix what you once had?" Bert turns his eyes to me. I glance over at him, and notice his eyes were watery. Oh my God. My heart almost breaks. I've never seen Bert vulnerable like this. It's strange and foreign to me.

"No. We'll never be the same. Could we become friends again? I like to think. But like brothers? Never."

That's it. I'm ordering Bert the biggest fucking coffee I can get. He needs it.

-

We got our coffees before Bert directed me towards his home. After five minutes passed, we were there. It was an apartment complex, not shabby but not snobby-rich either. I personally thought it was nice, welcoming. I followed Bert over to the doors after we got our backpacks and locked my car. He entered a four-digit code before the door buzzed, signaling it was unlocked, and we stepped inside. There was a light dusting of snow that was starting to seep into my bones, so when we stepped in and were immediately welcomed with warmed, I smiled gleefully. Bert and I share small talk walking up the few flights of stairs until we stopped at a door, which I only presume to be where he lives. Bert takes out his keychain and grabs the one that unlocks the door before we step inside. Bert opens his arms, gesturing to the place.

"This is the small place I call home." He tosses his stuff to the side, me doing the same, before following him into the kitchen (though we still have our Starbucks). Bert goes into the pantry and grabs some goldfish crackers.

"This cool?" I nod, smiling at my favorite childhood snack.

"Kay. And I know this sounds forward, but I guess let's go to my room." I roll my eyes and agree. We go get our backpacks and I follow him down a small hallway. I hear a slight snoring from a room we pass.

"Huh, he's actually sleeping in his room for once."

"Who?"

"What? Oh, my dad. He has a night shift job, and usually he's so tired when he gets back he just plops onto the sofa and conks out." I nod my understanding as he opens a door and we walk in. I take in my surroundings. It's pretty much a typical teenage guy's bedroom. Slight mess, shades of blue are the color scheme, various band posters (which I approve of). Then I spot a gorgeous guitar in the corner. Oh yeah! He plays.

I walk over to it and admire it. "This is beautiful." Bert joins me at my side.

"Yeah. My dad got it for me like, only two weeks ago. Apparently he's been saving some from his pay for a few years, so he could get me one." I notice him smile at the memory that must be playing through his head.

"I didn't even know you played, until like, today."

"I've been learning since grade school, but it's been on and off, really. Sometimes I just did not feel like playing. So I didn't. When my dad got this for me it sparked my desire to learn it again. So I've playing practically every day since. I'm better at piano, though. My mom made me take lessons when I was little and I haven't forgotten how to play that."

"You're more musical than I thought."

"Do you play anything?" I shrug.

"I'm okay at guitar. I can play, but I'm never gonna be a Slash or Peter Frampton. Um... though I like to sing. I never thought I could but my family has always told me how good I am..." Bert questioningly looks at me. "I-I sing in the shower... sometimes. Or hum or sing quietly to myself when I'm doing something around the house." A small smile traces over Bert's features while he nods in understanding. "I'd like to see you play, sometime." I gesture to the guitar I can't seem to take my eyes off of.

"And I'd like to hear your singing." Flustered, I break our eye contact and shuffle my feet, looking at the ground.

"Nobody's asked me that, I- I'm not, it's different."

"Believe me, I know exactly how you feel."

"W-we should start... s-studying. If you wanna do well."

"Oh! Yeah, we should do that."

For the next two and a half hours, that's what we did. I quizzed him on the review, went through all our notes for the chapter, and even went on some websites on our tablets that helped, heck, the both of us, understand the subject a lot easier. Whenever Bert got confused, his face would scrunch up before he hesitated about asking me a question. Which I would help him through one step at a time. After those two and a half hours, we were breezing through the review, basically. Bert still needed a little work. And I'm confident that he'll be fully understanding after we study again tomorrow. I stay for a half hour after we're done for today. It's just small talk, but I enjoy it. The only other people I get along with this well are Lindsey and Frank. And of course all my other friends, but I just feel this weird bond with Bert already that I don't have with the others. Bert and I discussed our favorite and least favorite things about guitar, and what our first songs were that we learned how to play. We also talked about other things like tv shows, movies, favorite actors and actresses, etc. It turns out we have a fair amount of things in common. And things that we didn't share, we recommended to one another.

"Woah, it's seven already. I should be heading home." I notice the darkened winter sky out of his living room patio doors. We had moved into the living room and sat on his couch after we decided we wanted another snack.

"Jesus, already? Wow." I stand up and go grab my pea coat and shoes I had set by the door and pull them on. When I'm done with that Bert is kinda awkwardly standing, waiting to bid me farewell, I guess. I smile.

"Well, tomorrow then. You're gonna fucking ace the test on Friday, I know it." At the mention of what I thought about his progress, he hiccupped a laugh.

"Thanks so much. Seriously." Before I pull on my backpack, I step over to Bert and embrace him. At first, he doesn't wrap his arms around me, out of sheer confusion.

"No problem." I give a small squeeze before letting go. Bert's blushing. I ignore it, though. It can't be why I think it is.

We say goodbyes before I exit his apartment complex and find my way from, using Google Maps, because, well, I've never been on this side of town. I get home at about 7:30 and call throughout the house that I'm home safe.

"Okay, honey! We had pizza for dinner tonight, go ahead and heat yourself up a couple slices if you want!"

"Thanks, Mom!" I remove my outerwear and backpack before grabbing a couple slices and a glass of water. On my way up to my room, my mom gets my attention.

"Who is it that you helped with studying today, again?"

"Hmm? Oh, his name's Bert. You don't know him."

"Bert... that name sounds familiar. I feel like I got a call from school back in September, I think?" I'm utterly confused right now.

"Why would you get a call from school?"

"Did he bully you at all?" My face goes white and I nearly drop my plate of pizza. The school called my mom about that incident and she didn't even confront me about it. "A Mr. Yeero, or whatever, I can't remember his last name precisely, saw the whole thing happen and took his group to the Principal. They got suspended for a few days. Is that right?" I just nod my head.

"Why didn't you tell me the school called about that?" She looks sorrowful.

"Honey, I wasn't going to talk to you about it unless you came to me wanting to discuss it."

"He's different now, Bert. He ditched the people he called his friends and got his act together. I feel really nice around him. He's just like the group." ("the group" as in my friends).

"You're sure?"

"I'm positive, Mom. And he's the one that asked me to help. Okay, well, he asked if I understood it because he didn't then I offered to help, which he accepted. And he's improved so much already. Just try me, I'm fine. He's a good guy."

"Okay... I trust your instincts. Just, if anything ever feels wrong, don't go against what you feel." I roll my eyes.

"I know, Mom. Oh! And um, do you think I could do something with Frank on Saturday? It's always been him who's asked me on dates and I wanna take that charge for once, you know?" Her worried expression changes to a smile in an instant.

"Yes, sweetie, that's fine. Any ideas as to what you want to do yet?" I ponder for a moment before replying.

"I really want to take him to see a movie. And then after that go to a street vendor or a little café and get some hot chocolate."

"That sounds fun. You know, he can spend the night..." My eyes widen and I choke on the bite out of my pizza I was taking.

"Mom!" She raises her hands in mock surrender.

"What? What'd I do?"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Oh, and why's that, hmm?" I know what she's thinking. But if only she knew the real reason to my being against the idea. He's my teacher. No no no. Bad idea. Alert alert. Sirens going off in my head. Weeooooww weeeooooww. Danger! Big secret at risk!

I sigh. "It's not like that, Mom."

"Oh? Then what?"

"I don't feel comfortable telling you. ...yet."

"But will you tell me at some point?"

"Sure."

"Please have him over soon, though."

"UGH fine what if he doesn't have plans for Christmas? His parents and him aren't on the best of terms." My mom squeals and claps her hands quickly before standing up and pulling me into a hug.

"Oh, honey, I'd love that. As long as it doesn't prevent him from seeing his own family."

"Okay, I'll ask. Um, is Grandma Elena going to be here?"

"I actually just got off the phone before you got in. She's going to be able to stay for three days with us before she has to go back. A nurse whose family lives in this area will be on call for whenever we need her. So she'll be able to spend the holidays with her family, too." The biggest grin spreads over my face. I'm going to be with my Grandma for three whole days! And hopefully Frank will be here too! I can't believe it.

"Oh my God! Yes!" In my excitement, I hug my mother again before kissing her cheek and heading up to my room in an adrenaline rush for the rest of the night. I have to text Frank now about my plans for the weekend, and ask him about Christmas as well. I grab my phone from my back pocket after plopping down onto my bed.

Me: hEY I wanna ask you something

A few minutes pass before I get a reply.

Frankie: yes my dear what is it

Me: I wanted to officially ask you, Frank Iero, on a date

Frankie: me?! Of all eligible bachelors?! I'm flattered!

I laugh at the humor I've grown accustomed to from this beautiful man.

Me: Yes, you have been randomly selected among the overzealous line of potential partners I see behind me.

Frankie: Well I never. Okay but anyways what is your proposed date?

Me: It's a surprise, I've decided. Nothing special. Just a night out, the two of us. This Saturday evening. Shall I pick you up at 8:30?

Frankie: You had me at the two of us. I can't wait.

Me: <3 I have another question.

Frankie: shoot

Me: ... What are you doing for Christmas?

Frankie: Well. I go to my parents. Usually out of kindness, though. I never have anything else to do, so I just go visit them and the rest of my family. I only ever enjoy being in my uncle's company on my dad's side. All we do is talk music and what we've been doing in our lives since we last saw each other. But because he was actually able to make it to Thanksgiving this year, something that's really rare for him because he takes an annual trip to California that time of year to visit his extended family.

So, to summarize, I'm not doing a damn thing. Do you ask because of what I think you're asking?

Me: Is what you think I'm asking that I'm inviting you to spend the Christmas holiday here for a couple days?

Frankie: That's exactly it. Give me more details, Dove.

Damn that nickname. It never ceases to make my insides fold and fumble over themselves.

Me: Funny story. I asked my mom if it was alright that I hang out with you Saturday, and she insinuated you spend the night here afterwards, and, well, given our situation, I was extremely against it. But she's been nagging to meet you for the past two months or so, so I gave in and asked about Christmas, which she was more than happy about. I just don't know what to do. What if she attends an open house at school?

Frankie: has she ever attended in the past?

Me: She and dad went once my freshman year to meet the teachers and see the environment of the classrooms. They didn't for Mikey because they'd already seen it before and they've never gone again since then.

Frankie: then, from what I'm getting here, the probability is extremely low that she'd ever go again.

Me: wow okay you're right. But what if she asks about your job? She does know your age after all.

Frank: Well, I'll avoid saying my last name, because that's on your report card and probably somewhere on the school website, so you never know. But I did look to do tattooing as a career in the past. I even had an apprenticeship for two years during college. We can say that's my career. I've done a few of my own tattoos, actually.

Me: you never told me this! That's brilliant.

Frankie: I know I am

Me: my sass is rubbing off on you

Frank: you rubbed off on me last weekend

Me: dammit Frank I hate you

Frankie: and I love you ♥ but anyways, I'd love to spend Christmas with you and your family. But wouldn't it be fucking awkward for Mikey?

Me: probably, but he doesn't have you as a teacher so he can just suck it up

Frankie: wow such brotherly love I can sense

Me: You bet! It turns out my grandma is able to stay here a few days, and this is the first time she's been able to for like, 5 years. I'm beyond excited. I really can't wait for you to meet her.

Frankie: now I'm definitely coming it's a done deal.

Me: Well good. I love you! Goodnight. xoxo

Frankie: I love you too, sugar. I hope you studied well today! Make sure to do it tomorrow, too. Have a good night filled with pleasant dreams. xo

I read his message and smile before talking to Lindsey a bit about the school dance, which she is ecstatic that I got my ticket for. After we discuss that, she sends a group text to our friends, saying that she wants us all to come over to her house before the dance and take pictures and all that then carpool together. I agree with this before turning off my phone and plugging it into its charger for the night and going to sleep early. I'm exhausted.

Oh, wait! I forgot! I have a French quiz tomorrow! Fuck! I shoot out of bed, luckily it's only 9:30, and grab my backpack.

I fumble for my French folder, taking out the material I need to look over.

Apparently I won't be going to bed early tonight.

-


	22. Almost Caught and Our Lives at Stake

Frank's POV (about damn time. also... smut warning!)

 

Thursday came and went, some of my classes taking their test then. The school day ended, I went grocery shopping, then headed home. I know I've mentioned that I have a small dog. Her name is Daisy. And yes, in this story, it seems she never seems to be around. But trust me, she is. Surprisingly, she can be like a cat a lot. She likes to sleep and keep to herself. But of course, what dog doesn't like walks and attention? She comes to me for attention whenever she wants it. Like Thursday. She was right at the door when I stepped in and begged to be noticed. I had to put up my shopping first, then I gave her all the loving that she always deprives herself of before taking her out to the backyard to do her business. During the school day either Matt, Rob, or Evan come to let her out and give her some food. I've had her since before my teaching job. And it'd be an easier life without worrying if she'll get what she needs while I'm out, but I love her way too much.

On Friday, Gerard was the first to come in, as usual, and we were able to share a quick, loving peck on the lips before more of his classmates started coming in. When Bert walked in, I could tell he was nervous. I heard him mumble things to give himself a confidence boost. I also noticed him look towards Gerard on his way to his seat, and Gerard gave him a very reassuring smile and two thumbs up. He really is such a good soul. Throughout the test, I could tell what ones were struggling and what ones knew the material with ease. Occasionally, Bert would look over at Gerard, more like the back of Gerard, because Bert's seat is further back than Gerard's is. Then I guess, somewhere in his brain, Bert processed and reminded himself how much he learned through Gerard's help. He'd nod his head a little then go back to focusing on his test. Bert was maybe the seventh last student to finish, but I wanted to get his done right away. I graded it as soon as he turned it in.

Bert got a B+.

I had asked him to stick around before he left the classroom, knowing how desperate he was to know what he got. I figured if I waited to tell him Monday when everybody else would get their tests back, he wouldn't be able to sleep all weekend. Gerard stayed behind, too. After I had handed Bert his test, he stared at it without moving or speaking for a good 15 or so seconds, before the biggest smile spread on his face.

"I passed?"

"You passed."

"I passed!" He jumped a couple of times in excitement, smiles on both Gerard and I's faces. "Did you hear that, Gerard, I fucking passed!"

"Language." I muttered while Gerard laughed.

"I heard! See, I knew you'd do just fine!" By this point, Bert had Gerard in a bone-crushing hug. Gerard's eyes were wide from surprise and looking right at me before he gave in and closed his eyes and squeezed just as tightly back.

"Thank you." Gerard patted Bert's back before pulling away.

"Pay attention in class and I know you can keep this up the rest of the school year."

"What if I can't understand it?"

"Then I'll help you again." Bert nodded before dismissing himself with a smile to the both of us, and a 'thank you' to me. After the door closed behind him, Gerard pounced on my back unexpectedly.

"It's my study hall. ...and your free bell." He seductively whispered in my ear, sending shocking electricity running down my spine. I had carried him over to the door so I could lock it. As soon as the lock clicked, Gerard's mouth was latched on my ear, sucking and whispering dirtily to me. I let go of my lock under his legs holding him up before he slid down onto his feet, I immediately turned around and hungrily kissed Gerard, backing him up until we hit one of the lab desks surrounding the side of the classroom. His hands untucked my plain black dress shirt from my black dress pants and roamed his hands underneath. I grasped his hips firmly, holding him still between the table and my body pressed up right against his. My thigh was rubbing against his slowly growing erection, then before I knew it, he mewled into my mouth in contentment. His soft artist hands trailed from my back underneath to my ass, squeezed it, then moved them to my black and white striped tie and started to remove it, which is when I broke apart.

"You want to do this now? Here of all places?" I panted.

"It's a buzz, isn't it? Doing this someplace we really shouldn't be." I pondered briefly before I nodded my head quickly and reattached our mouths in sloppy, open-mouthed kisses. I moved my hands to the back of Gerard's upper thighs and lifted him up and started walking as he wrapped his legs around me. I carried him over to the lab table across the room, out of sight from the door, even though it was locked.

"D-do you have a condom?" Gerard had asked after our making out intensified for a few minutes, Gerard was laying on the table with me on top. Come to think of it, I may have a condom in my wallet from awhile ago for God knows what reason.

"Hold on." I climb off the horny figure, him whining at the lack of contact. Ah hah! I did have a condom in my wallet. I tossed it on the table by where we were laying and got back on top, grinding down onto Gerard hard. His hands latched into my hair and he let out a higher pitched, quiet moan. At a flash's moment, he had removed my tie and somehow ripped open my shirt without any of the buttons coming off. I removed that quickly before removing his own shirt.

"I-I think it'll be better if I bend you over the table." We read each other's eyes before he slowly nodded, and we both moved to stand beside the table. He wrapped his arms around my middle loosely and brought his face to my ear and whispered.

"Would you do the honor of removing my pants? They seem to be in the way." I groaned and lowered my head to his shoulder and placed a kiss and sucked, leaving a hickey. All the while my hands teasingly went to the waistline of his tight jeans before finding the button and undoing it, then slowly lowering the zipper. I found he actually wore underwear today with these jeans and palmed him through the fabric of them. His knees buckled slightly and his grip on me tightened, his head resting on my shoulder and ragged breath on my neck.

"Please." His voice cracked and that was all it took. I immediately pushed down his underwear with his pants until it puddled at his ankles.

"Turn around." I gently said. He kissed me roughly before doing just that. He swayed his hips back and forth a bit after resting his upper body on the table, taunting me. By now we were both fully hard, so his motions were not helping me. I unzipped my pants and brought out the aching throb in my boxers, deciding I was not going to drop my pants here. I pumped myself a few times before reaching over for the condom, myself against Gerard in order to reach it, and slid it on as I so horrendously learned in high school's sex-ed class via cucumber. Gerard gracefully grabbed my hand and slid two fingers into his mouth, soaking them in his saliva. I prepped him, and he handled it well, a lot better than our first time. I rubbed my hands over his naked back and rested them on his shoulders before leaning over him, poking into him down below.

"Ready, babe?" I nibbled his earlobe, earning a whimper of want from Gerard.

"Fuck me." He whispered, very needily. Gerard backed himself into me more, and I felt myself push into him. I hummed at the sensation before I placed a kiss on his back and pushed inside of the boy. Gerard immediately thrust backwards, wanting my fill and needing it now. I grasped firmly onto his hips and started my motions. Quickly, it turned from gentle to fast and animalistic. Gerard maintained his moans and kept them quiet by keeping his head in one of arms, folded up on the surface of the smooth, black table. That not only 10 minutes ago was occupied by students after they finished their testing. My thrusts were soon met with his as he started up a rhythm to match my own. My body was becoming a wreck inside, I had to concentrate just to keep the pace I wanted as I pounded into Gerard, trying to locate his prostate and send him into a state of mess. I angled my thrusts at a more upward angle, groping Gerard's thighs. His pleasurable scream was muffled in his arm, but I knew I found it.

"You like that?" My voice was raspy and deeper and gave Gerard a chill that I felt spread through his entire, ecstasy-filled body.

"Oh, G-OH-God, yes." My fast past picked up even more as I kept my angle up, making sure to hit that special spot at least once every few thrusts. What I hadn't noticed until now was Gerard pumping himself. I grunted before collapsing my upper half onto his, still maintaining my act, and replaced my hand with his own. He whimpered yet again, glad that I was doing the work he was too shy to ask for me to take care of. I kept a motion with my hand different than my hips, all to make Gerard crazy at the different sensations I was making him feel. I placed my sweaty face by his and kissed his neck, our shallow, panty breaths intermingling. His hand found my hair and tugged gently, which buzzed through me and ended in me bucking my hips particularly hard and messing up our entire routine we had managed to keep. So I decided to shorten the distance I pulled out and kept my thrusts inward more powerful.

"Fuck." Gerard muttered, his face contorted. I moved the hand that wasn't occupied underneath and wrapped it around his lower stomach and pulled him backwards more. A minute later with more moans and angsty sex, Gerard's body was twitching and he was moaning my name before his body immediately relaxed, and he enjoyed me while I anxiously waited for my soon-arriving finish. Standing back up, I felt the familiar sensation in the pit of my stomach. Gerard stood with me and invited me to suck on his neck, which I did without a second's hesitation. He kept a grip on the edge of the table and rested his head back on my shoulder, his jaw slack and his features lazy with pleasure. One dirty whisper from Gerard (I'll let you leave that to your imaginations) and I was sent overboard. My fast thrusting turned sloppy and slowed down as I climaxed and rode out my orgasm, quite an amazing one at that, all while my body twitched and I moaned deeply. The both of us collapsed forward back onto the table when I finished and caught our breaths for a minute before I pulled out. I admired Gerard's pale bottom before playfully I playfully and lightly slapped it. I removed my condom and recollected myself then went to toss the used protector in the bin I kept for myself in one of my desk drawers, making a mental note to empty it. I turned back to Gerard to see him doing up the button of his jeans. We made eye contact and he instantly flushed.

"How was our first classroom sex?" I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his cheek.

"Hot."

"Damn right." We got our shirts back on and Gerard helped me with my tie, then we worked on cleaning up the mess we left. I cleaned up Gerard's mess while I had him wipe down the table and the other lab tables for the heck of it. I got my air freshener and sprayed it around the room. We still had time to spare. Twenty minutes. We spent the remaining time at my desk, him sitting sideways on my lap, watching YouTube videos and enjoying one another's company. After our time was up, we said our 'I love you's and 'goodbye's, promising to talk that night until our date.

That date which is happening today.

I hadn't realized I was reminiscing about yesterday until Daisy yapped at me, the leash by my feet. I shake my head with amusement before getting off my couch and putting on shoes and a nice, warm coat, beanie, and gloves.

Daisy and I are going on a walk, you see.

-

As I typically do, I waited until last minute to start getting ready. So I was rushing around within half an hour before Gerard was due to pick me up. I just finished showering, and now I was standing, boxer-clad, in my bedroom deciding what to wear. I search through my pants and come across a favorite pair that I thought I had lost almost a year ago. A smile spreads on my face as I put on the skinny jeans with holes (not massive) in the knees. Oh, how I've missed these. Now I'm fumbling through my shirts and decide on a loose-fitting vintage KISS concert baseball tee before rushing back into the bathroom to dry my shaggy hair. When that's done, it's 8:20. Ten minutes before should be arriving here.

"Shit." I mumble before going, once again, back into my bedroom and hurriedly putting on my red high top Converse. I bound down the stairs, then realize I need to brush my teeth. I frustratedly sigh. "Motherfucker." then I go brush them. I grab my phone off its charger then toss on my thicker of my leather jackets and double check that I have everything I need and everything is fine in the house, Daisy with some water and a little food, tv on for background noise to keep her company, a few lights on, porch lights on, backdoor locked, blinds closed, and I'm set. My phone buzzes and I see I have a text from Gerard, telling me he's here. I smile and go out, locking the door behind me and get into the passenger seat of Gerard's black car. I buckle in and lean over to give him a kiss.

"Ready for a night together in a dark theater and public displays of affection?"

"Fuck yes." I reply excitedly.

Gerard drives off, halfway through the trip placing his hand on my thigh and stroking it absentmindedly with his thumb. My heart flutters at the simple gesture of affection. We eventually pull up to a theater that sells tickets for half price, or even cheaper on certain days. Then again, it's not as nice a theater as the main one, but I gather it's for the better for us considering our status.

"I chose this place because of the smaller crowd and less chance of running into people we know."

"My smart little fucker, thinking everything through just for me." I shake his hair like I would if I were petting a really shaggy dog.

"Stop! Touch everything but the hair!" He lets out a screech before swatting my hand away, a smile on his round face the whole time, before running his hands through his black hair that blended into the dark night. "Let's go." He climbs out of the car with me following. He locks it up and I meet his side wrapping my left arm around his waist when we start walking and pulling him close. In return, he puts his right arm around my shoulder and kisses the side of my forehead. Once inside, we pull apart, and Gerard goes to pay for the tickets. He never told me what movie we're seeing, but it's Gerard. I know it'll be good. I eye the girl working and see her flirtatious manner practically being thrown in my boyfriend's face. I roll my eyes in annoyance at what teenage, and even in their 20s, girls will do these days just to get attention. Gerard turned around after getting what we came here for, and gave me an expression of 'what the fuck is up with her?' before handing me my ticket. I look to see "Ant-Man" printed on it and my face lights up. Gerard nods, unspoken words answering my questioning look of surprise and takes my hand in his and kisses me. When we part I look back at the girl, and not to my surprise, she had been watching us. A look of shock and jealously wiped over her previous attempt of being flirty. I shrug my shoulders at her and smirk before turning my attention back onto Gerard.

"We gotta get food." Gerard pulls me over to the short line of people at the concessions.

"I'm not objecting. You can't see a movie without some good old movie snacks." He giggles briefly.

"I love you." He says in a part joking part serious manner, gazing at me with those piercing eyes.

"I love me, too." An annoyed look washes over before he places a soft, gentle kiss on my winter-chapped lips. I mumble an 'you know I love you' into his mouth right before we part, now our turn to order food. A kid that looks around Gerard's age with dark brown hair and a forehead noticeably a bit bigger than average is behind the counter. I read his nametag as 'Brendon'. They share small talk as Gerard orders, taking a break to ask me what I want.

"Uh, just a medium Coke and maybe we could share a large popcorn?" Gerard smiles.

"You read my mind." So Gerard orders. I make my way over near the hallway to the movie to wait for Gerard, hearing him and Brendon talk excitedly about Ant-Man and that he's new to this area. That explains why I'd never seen him here before. The last time I was here was a month or two ago with Evan, Matt, Rob, and Patrick to watch a Terminator marathon they were putting on.

"Frank?" I jump, not expecting a voice other than Gerard's that knew me. I turn my head to find Principal Miller.

Fucking shit.

"Hey there! What are you doing here, then?" His friendly manner does nothing to calm the alarms going off all over my body. I act cool, though, of course. I have to.

"Ah, with a friend, having a night out." A lady comes out of the restroom by us and joins his side, I assume his wife.

"Jody, this is Frank Iero, the new Chemistry teacher at school this year." She smiles, welcoming at me and I stretch my hand out, offering to shake, which she accepts.

"Hi."

"Hello, Frank, nice to meet you." I reply with the same before Gerard's figure in the corner of my eye appears, he's looking down, completely unaware of who's stood before me. Shit shit shit.

"Who are you here with, dear? Friend? Or even a special someone?" Jody asks, I can't help but smile at her. Older ladies are always adorable with their questioning to others about their love lives. I flush before opening my mouth, before she speaks again. "That look on your face says it all, honey."

"I-I.." I sigh, giving up. Damn women and their natural instincts on everything. Why couldn't men be like that? Suddenly I'm bumped into and a few pieces of popcorn fall out of the bag the person was carrying, out of instinct to keep myself or them from falling, I reach my hand out and place it on their waist briefly. I look up to see Gerard, my face pales slightly, then Gerard looks over to who I'm speaking to, and it's now his turn for his face to pale.

"S-sorry, I-I wasn't paying attention. I-I was trying to focus on not dropping anythi-"

"Gerard, hello, what a pleasant surprise, really. Don't worry. Everybody has their moments." Gerard blushes and makes quick, fearful eye contact with me. I say hello, trying to play this off, and he plays along.

"This is weird, I never see teachers outside of school, hah, but, hey! Mr. Iero do you have our tests graded yet?" I smile and our elders and myself share a small laugh, making Gerard sheepish.

"Yeah, I did 'em today. ...You got an A, Gerard." A genuine smile of happiness spreads before he excuses himself to meet with his 'friends'. We bid farewell and soon, the Millers and I are giving our tickets to the workers and them telling us what direction our movies are. Luckily, theirs is the opposite way of mine and we say bye. My heart is pounding incredibly hard and I turn the corner, almost running into Gerard waiting for me, his face laced with anxiety.

"I nearly shit my skinny jeans, Frank." His words are whispered and wavering. I take my drink from his quivering hand and put my arm around his shoulder as we walk into the big, darkened room where Ant-Man is going to play.

"Me too, sweetie, me too." I whisper into his hair and kiss his temple. We find seats near the back and in the middle and move the armrest up so we can cuddle, trying to forget the incident. The familiar sound of a Marvel movie credit starts and we settle in.

-

Throughout the movie, we either held hands or had our hands rested on one of our legs. Most of the time my arm was around his shoulder and he was resting his head in the crook of my neck.

My favorite memory during those two hours was whenever he'd grab a piece of popcorn and lift his head slightly to look at me and feed the piece of buttery goodness to me before he kissed my cheek then cuddled into me more.

We're leaving the theater and talking animatedly about our favorite moments of Marvel's recent installment. In his excitement about the climax of the movie, both of his hands found one of my own and he leaned into my side. We're passing the main hallway and I notice the Millers leaving their movie, Gerard noticing too because his pace quickened. They hadn't noticed us. But when Gerard was out of the hallway, dragging me along by the hand, I chance a look back and Principal Miller makes eye contact with me.

Then he's out of my sight.

Did he notice it was Gerard with me, pulling me along, holding my hand? I don't know. But I do know my heart is pounding once again.

Gerard and I rush outside, him waving quickly to Brendon as we passed him and get into his car. Once the doors are shut we sit and catch our breath, both our heads in our hands.

"Let's forget about this. Don't let it ruin our date, okay?" I rub Gerard's back and he slowly straightens up and agrees. We kiss, to help reassure ourselves perhaps, then he starts the car and backs out of the parking space. He drives around the parking lot and we have to pass by the entrance to exit. The Millers have made their way out. And Principal Miller notices me.

But he doesn't look angry or knowing.

He smiles and waves in a very friendly manner and I return the gesture.

"Fuck." I stress.

"I know." Gerard replies. I find his hand and interlock our fingers and squeeze it lovingly. "Let's get hot chocolate now." I hum in agreement before turning on the radio to drown out our thoughts.

-

The cafe is small and independent and really, really homy. I love it. And I can tell Gerard does, too. He takes a deep breath in as soon as we step in and the small door bell rings, signalling we entered the cute building. A college-looking guy steps out from the back and greets us warmly. We order hot chocolates and he replies for us to sit where we like after Gerard pays and he'll bring them right up. We find a small table for two in the corner and join hands. Gerard seems to have calmed down a lot, and that relieves me. He rubs his foot up my leg, something he loves to do. And honestly, it's something that I love about him. The fact he does it every single time we're out like this, at a restaurant or cafe or whatever. Sitting across from one another, he'll rub my leg soothingly. I can't contain myself at the moment. His soft, small mouth that he talks out of at one corner, the mouth that smiles crookedly at the same side that he talks out of. I reach my hand out and graze my thumb delicately over his lips. He was talking about something, but honestly, I couldn't tell you what. I was in my own thoughts. I moved my hand to trace my fingers over his jaw and placed my lips on his for a slow, loving kiss. A cough interrupts us. I look up to see the tall, slim worker smiling down at us with our orders in his hands.

"Now, I hate to interrupt this adorable moment, but I don't want your drinks getting cold. He places them in front of us.

"You two are goals." is all he says before flashing a warm smile and walks off back to the counter. The both of turn red profusely.

"Oh my God." I turn back to Gerard, worried for a second.

"What?"

"Look." He points to my hot chocolate. Somehow designed on the top layer is a heart, the same on Gerard's. The worker knew, somehow, when we walked in. I smiled. Of course we took pictures of our drinks, making sure one another's were in the backgrounds before delving into the extra chocolatey goodness.

Sweet damn this is the best hot chocolate I've ever had. I'm having a foodgasm. Jesus.

We finish half an hour later and thank the worker very happily before exiting the small shop hand-in-hand.

Then Gerard drives me home. We kiss lovingly for about 5 minutes, nothing getting heated. This night has been a night solely revolved around our emotional feelings. I was in no mood for nothing else.

"I love you." I say after we part and kiss his cheek.

"I love you, more." I roll my eyes and smirk.

"Sure you do." I get out of the car and enter my home, waving back at Gerard as he pulled out my driveway and drove to his home.

I'd have loved nothing more for him to stay the night, but he had a test to study for and he wanted as much time as possible, which I understood.

After shedding my clothes and putting on comfortable flannel pj pants and a t shirt, I crawl into bed, and Daisy jumps onto my bed and cuddles up to my neck, and I fall asleep soundly, having forgotten about the nearly getting caught with my underage, and student, boyfriend.

-


	23. Saturday *cue Fall Out Boy song*

Gerard's POV

 

It was hard to focus on my studies on Sunday. All because of seeing the damn Principal at the movies. Something I was least expecting. Oh well. At least I managed to do well on my test I had on Monday. Also on Sunday, Mom made sure Mikey and I's suits still fit in case we needed to run and get one for the dance. Luckily none of us had really grown since we last wore them, aka the last dance the school had last school year. Mikey, though, had to make sure he had proper colors to match his "date".

His secret girlfriend that he kept from us all.

Kristin.

Finally, I'm going to meet her. Mom is more than thrilled, which of course means that Mikey is more than dreading it. But deep down, I think he's anxious. He wants Mom to like her. He blushes whenever I mention her, which isn't much. I think he's head over heels. But hides it well. Mikey's never been in a serious relationship before. Like me, really. But at least he's been in other relationships. His feelings must be stronger and different than anything he's ever felt, so he's confused, really. Once again, a lot like me with Frank.

Monday came and went uneventfully. Frank and I shared some secret kisses and Bert continued to get to know my friends. By the looks of it, Hayley and Dallon still had not told everybody about them dating. That kinda nagged me, but I let it be. We also finalized plans that we would all meet at Lindsey's house before the dance then carpool to it. Though Bert said he wasn't going, which bummed me out more than it should have. Lindsey, using her persuasive powers, got him to consider going. I hope he does, honestly.

So, catch up to now: Wednesday. The bell for lunch just rang and I'm one of the last students out of class because I was stupid and had a fuck ton of stuff out my previous class and had to put them all away. Making my way down the staircase on the far side of the building, I watch my feet descend the tan ground below me. So therefore, why would I know of another presence behind me until they moved to walk beside me? I nearly had a heart attack right then and there. Thank God I didn't irl shit my skinny jeans.

Laughter fills my empty surroundings.

"Fuck, Bert, don't scare me like that."

"I had no intention to!" Bert raises his hands in surrender.

"Well then, hi."

"Hello."

And then silence.

Awkward motherfucking silence.

"Okay seriously did you come up behind me for a reason, or...?"

"No, I was solely seeking out to scare you. Therefore haunting your ass for the rest of eternity." Sarcasm laced in Bert's slight rasp of a voice. I let out a sigh.

"What is it, then?" Bert hesitates a bit, like he's afraid to tell me whatever it was he had on his mind.

"I- I, um, was wondering if you, I dunno, uh. DoyouwannahangoutatthemallonSaturday?"

We're in the cafeteria at this point, and I'm surprised to say that I managed to understand what was rushed from Bert's mouth over the make up of hundreds of teenagers talking their lives away. Bert follows me to one of the lines, where I grab a cheeseburger, two chocolate chip cookies, and a bottled water. He grabs a slice of pizza and a chocolate cookie on our way to buy our high calorie meals. Do I have anything planned for Saturday? Think think think. I was gonna draw, but I guess it could wait. I did want to go to the mall anyways to look for some cd's and stuff.

"I'd love to. I've been meaning to go for awhile anyways. But I've... been sidetracked." (Now, you may think Frank is the one doing the sidetracking, but the main reason is the problem known to be none other than Donald Way. Hardworking proud father turned drunken homophobe.) "What time were you thinking?" We make our way over to the usual table, Pete, and Mikey keeping him company, sat on the opposite end away from us.

"How's one? I'd say noon but I usually wake up at eleven so that's pushing it for me." I laugh briefly.

"Trust me I understand fully. And that sounds fine. Do you need a ride or anything?"

"Nah, my dad's got errands to run so he's gonna be out anyways." I nod, accepting the information just given to me before texting my mom quickly asking for permission. She's on her lunch break so my phone buzzes with a reply of approval in a few minutes.

I tell Bert I'm allowed before our trains of thought are quickly turned elsewhere when we overhear Lindsey.

"Are you two dating or what?" Dallon's stutters and Hayley's red face give our whole lunch table the answer to everything they were all beginning to pick up on between the two new found love birds.

"Fucking knEW IT!" Lindsey's smile is wide and her black pig tails bounce as she slightly jumps up and down in her seat. That caused a few heads to turn near us. "How long's it been going on?"

"Like two weeks or something." I interrupt. Hayley's jaw drops and her bright eyes bore into mine. I shrug. Everybody's attention is drawn onto the new couple. Bert not as much. He's still focused on Gerard. But Gerard doesn't notice. It always goes unnoticed. Except for that one time in the bathroom when Bert did the thing that lead to him having trouble sleeping for the next week and a half. Gerard's attention is always on Frank. Even when he goes out of his way to help others, including Bert himself, Gerard's mind is dead-wired to have Frank mode on 24/7. Little does Gerard know, it slowly shreds Bert apart each day as Bert's crush grows stronger and Gerard's love for Frank expands just as much. Bert wants to do with his all to stop this little, but not so little, actually, crush on the shy boy he used to bully because he was afraid to show his true feelings. But whenever he's close to giving up on Gerard, he flashes that cheesy smile of his, or laughs that feminine laugh, or nudges Bert's shoulder, hugs him, texts him stupid nonsense that he loves, or, most importantly, treats him like he's wanted around.

"And you didn't tell us?! You little shits!" Pete exclaims, his obvious tension with Bert around completely wiped free. Dallon rolls his eyes while Hayley pokes out her tongue.

"You all were too focused on every little thing with Gerard's relationship that we didn't tell. Plus, we liked hearing everything we could about him and Frank, too. So, shush." At the mention of my name and the short, walking piece of art, my heart thuds and I blush.

"Oh my God, speaking of those two... how's it been? Anything happen? Hmm?" I look up to see Lindsey looking at me suggestively, the thing on my mind being exactly what she was thinking. I glance around at everybody else at the table, their stares making me nervous, so I bow my head down and fumble with my hands.

"Everything's fine, like it's any of your business as to how we are."

"Except it is our business. We're high schoolers, we feed off of these things." I roll my eyes.

"What if I don't want to tell you every little detail that happens between Frank and I? Can nothing stay between us? That's special, just the two of us to know and remember happily?"

"Damn, Gee why are you so defensive about this? Yes, I understand the want for privacy, and I respect that, but dude, but the way you're acting is like you two had sex or something." I stare Ray straight in the eyes after he's done speaking. My lips get sucked between my teeth and I pull my gaze away from Ray's, going to fidget with a cookie I had started eating. The air feels heavy with the weight of all my friends' eyes on my quiet body.

"Wait, Gerard, are you quiet because you and Frank had...." Lindsey's voice is low and she bends down across the table so she can get my attention since my head is down. I catch her gaze once then quickly look away, biting my lip out of nervous habit and I feel my face heat up. I nod slowly.

Slowly, the voices of everybody starts filling my ears as they process the new (and I guess you could say shocking) news. All I recall is hearing my brother saying "What the fuck." over and over again. Some of them, mainly Pete and Lindsey, because when isn't it those two, had ask some questions about it. But luckily Andy, being the awesome dude he is, tells everybody to lay off and that it's something intimate between me and Frank. If I wanted to share any details about it, I would've. I looked up at Andy shyly and smile gratefully. He smiles and does a small nod in return, as if saying "no problem". When I pull my gaze away, I notice Bert. He's distant. Looking off and zoned out toward the ground. It's almost like the fact that I had sex with my (illegal, but let's not think about that) boyfriend hurt his feelings. I shrug it off and finish my cookies and then, as if on time, lunchtime ends. I trudge on the rest of the day, wanting this week to end already.

-

Friday ends and I make my way to Frank's room. I feel deprived of his smell of cologne and faint cigarettes. After knocking twice, I hear a voice beckon me in, so I let myself in the familiar white of the classroom. Frank looks up and smiles heartily as soon as he sees me. I lock the door behind me just in case anyone were to walk in while we were being all couple-y and shit. I toss my backpack right by the door and do a skip of sorts, I don't even know, to my boyfriend and wrap my arms over his shoulders.

"I missed you." We chastely kiss.

"Did you now?" Another kiss.

"Mhmm. Lots." A deeper kiss.

"I missed you lots, too." A passionate kiss.

"I like the way you smell." We go back to a chaste kiss.

"Random, but I like it." Frank gets a grip on my hips before pulling me into his toned build. He kisses my cheek sweetly, making me flush. "I love you." Frank's hands move around the back of my waist to hold me closer in a hug of sorts.

"I love you, too..." I gently rake my fingers through Frank's shoulder-length, dyed black hair. I admire how soft it feels lacing in between my stubby fingers. Frank's breathing gets calmer and he hums in relaxed satisfaction.

"Come over tomorrow." I sigh in frustration. Solely because I want to spend time with my boyfriend, but I already made plans, which I'm not going to ditch. That's just rude.

"I'm busy, Baby." Frank juts his bottom lip out and gives his best puppy eyes. Which is damn good, by the way. "Don't forget the days that you're going to be spending with me over break. That's soon." At the mention of that, Frank's mood changes immediately.

"Yeah, yeah you're right. Plus I'm gonna be seeing you at this silly school dance." My eyes widen slightly and a shocked smile forms on my face. "Shut up, I've gotta chaperone because I'm a new teacher, damn these school rules."

"You gonna dress up for me?" Frank groans and rolls his eyes, pulling away from me the gather up his stuff.

"Yes but only because I have to." A smile tugs at his lips. "Can't wait to see you all dressed up, though, that's for sure, Babe." I mumble a 'shut up' while curling in on myself from embarrassment.

"I hate this though because I want to slow dance with you. So bad. But that can't happen. I can't be held close to you in your arms, sharing kisses with you while we let the words of the song take over our minds and be in the moment, with each other, as two people who love one another. All because you're a teacher and I'm your stupid fucking student." I hadn't realized tears started trickling slowly down my face in my moment of realization. Frank was stood there looking at me with a sadness overcoming all his facial features.

"Oh, Gerard..." He walks up to me and wipes away my tears before stroking my face with his thumbs. He plants a warm kiss onto my tear soaked lips, which undoubtedly made the kiss unnecessarily wet, and pulled me into a hug, stroking the back of my head with one of his hands. My arms found their way under his armpits and my hands clung to his shirt at each of his shoulder blades.

"Shh, my lovely Dove, we'll find a way. I don't care if it's outside the building or in a bathroom stall. I'm going to slow dance with my beautiful boyfriend. I'm going to hold him close, keep him safe in my arms and protect him from the cruel, harsh reality. I'm going to show him all my love and affection, just by looking at him. Just by telling him I love him." Just hearing that brought more tears to my eyes, and my heart was going almost as crazy as it was the first night we shared our 'I love yous'.

"I hate keeping us a secret from the world. I hate that I can't kiss you in public because we don't know who we'd run into. I hate not even being able to go out into town with you, that we have to go to the next town or two over just so we can show public displays of affection. I hate it."

"Five months, Gerard Way."

"Five months." I repeat. I'm not sure if it's to assure the both of us that that's all we have left to keep this secret, or to remind me that there's five months that we could be caught.

-

Saturday rolls around and it's time to meet up with Bert at the mall. The drive is about fifteen minutes from my house. Once I arrive and am heading into the mall at the food court entrance, I send a text to Bert about his whereabouts. I walk into the entrance, strangely enticed by the scuffs on my Converse, still without a reply. I don't really need one now, though. Because I get my answer.

"I'm here!" I feel Bert lightly shove me from behind to give me a startle with his words. It did just that.

"FuCK, Bert stop scaring me, I'm jumpy!" Bert just laughs at the startled expression that still resides on my face. Annoyed I sigh and stick him my middle finger, which he merely gasps in mock offense to.

I giggle then feel Bert's presence walking with me at my side before he nudges me with his shoulder. "I am sorry, though. Really." Bert really did look sorrowful.

"Dude, you look way too sorry, okay you shouldn't be, it's fine. Just, I don't know, try not to scare me as much?" I shrug and Bert nods.

"Sir, yes sir." He mocks a salute, which let out a horrendous snort from. Which, in turn, makes Bert laugh harder. We get weird looks. But I don't care. I'm happy. Embarrassed, but happy.

"Shut up, stop laughing!" I ball the sleeves of my sweater in my fists and bring my hands up to cover my mouth. Bert's still laughing, though. I'm letting out giggles. Being around someone when they're laughing really does make you laugh.

"That was the single most adorable sound I have ever heard come out of a human being in my entire life, I swear." My heart leaps. Adorable? Play along, Gerard. Play along.

"Well I am the most adorable human being to exist, so I'm not surprised." I raise my head in the air with sassy confidence as we subconsciously make our way into the small comic book shop. I notice Bert hesitate a step before continuing, like what I said made him nervous. He shook his head, gathering his thoughts, maybe?

"Sure you are, Gerard. Keep telling yourself that." I scrunch my face up in a wide smile and squinted eyes.

"I sure will."

We talk of comics and find some that makes us fangirl.. or.. fanboy? Fanperson. We'll go with that. An hour passes and we're fucking hungry. So we head back to the food court with our bags of comics and decide on Pizza Hut.

After we eat, naturally, we gotta stop in Hot Topic. I wanted to get a shirt or two for Mikey and Frank.

Bert found a Queen one that he decided he'd get for his dad. I got Mikey a new Joy Division shirt since he wore his current one so much that it was practically completely faded. For Frank, I found an Alice in Chains and a Hole shirt. I wanted to get something for myself, but decided that I'd wait until after the holidays.

Bert and I roam the mall and chat up a storm. I feel like I've known him for ages, as cliche as that sounds. I'm seeing Bert smile, talk, and laugh more than I ever imagined him being able to do.

"Oooooh a toy store let's go in come on come on come on." Bert grabs my elbow and drags in me, well, not really drag, because I eagerly join him. I feel like a child. And I feel happy.

"Webkinz?! They still sell damn Webkinz?!!" I ask in disbelief as I pick up a white platypus and shake it in Bert's face, which he swats away with a smile.

"I remember collecting these. Dude I had like 20 growing up."

"Hah, well I got you beat, I have 30." Bert raises an eyebrow.

"Have?" I blush.

"I-I, ah, I wanted to keep them... to give them to my kids whenever that happens." A trace of a smile graces Bert's face.

"Smart." I nod in agreement before we set off further into the store. There's a section that has toys that are a bit older. I like learning things about the past and what different time periods were like, and yes, even the aspect of toys interests me. So I begin looking through them. I'm amazed, really. They all tell their own little stories, whether they're a teddy bear or a barbie doll. Then I see something that catches my eye and makes my heart drop to my stomach. It's hiding slightly behind others, so I take it carefully in my grasp. There, in all it's innocent glory, is a fluffy baby blue teddy bear, a little bit smaller than a Build-A-Bear. It looks seemingly like the average teddy bear, except for a small detail. A patched on darker blue heart. In it the words "love yourself" transcribed beautifully in the same baby blue color of the toy. My grandma had one exactly like this. She had given it to me, when I was 6 years old. She told me that whenever I was feeling down, to read it's heart and remind myself that even if I feel like I'm merely a shadow (yes, I've been that quiet since I was little), that I am special to her, and Mommy and Daddy, and little Mikey. And most importantly, I am loved by myself.

"What'd you find?" Bert comes up to me from where he was previously looking at car figurines.

"Th-this bear... my grandma gave me this exact same one when I was little." I look down at the bear sadly and play with its ear.

"Did something happen to..."

"Not her, no. She's still alive and kicking. I lost the bear. Because I was stupid and took the thing everywhere with me. I remember... my family was at a festival maybe a year or two after I got it. It was so crowded. We were leaving, and my dad was carrying me. Somebody bumped into my scrawny little arm... and I dropped it. Never saw it again. I felt guilty that I lost it."

"Why's that?"

"I thought that I let my grandma down by losing it. That she'd be mad at me. She wasn't, she wouldn't ever have been. But I let myself think that for the next three months until I saw her again and told her."

"That's sort of really sad." I shrug.

"Eh. It was in the past. Just, finding this brings back all the memories I had with it."

"You gonna get it?" Bert feels one of the bear's arms, taking in the feeling of the soft fur on his skin.

"I want to. It's $10 ...Let me check how much money I've got." I said the bear down and grab my wallet.

My heart drops yet again.

"Shit."

"What? What is it?"

"I don't have enough money..." I have two bucks left. Fuck fuck fuck. I sigh and rub my hand over my face. "Oh well. I- It could be here awhile. I'll come back again when I have the money on me. I pick the stuffed toy back up and admire it, before holding it to my chest and closing my eyes, squeezing it close to me, before I set it down and start walking out of the store, bidding farewell to the worker, Bert following close behind, silently. As soon as I'm at the bench right across from the shop, I turn around. I'm ready to go, honestly. Got some Christmas shopping done, and got to know Bert better.

"Fuck, I-I left my phone in the store. Damn, I even remember where I set it. Thank God. Hey, I'll be right back." I nod before plopping down onto the bench. I look around at my surroundings and spot a couple girls I recognize from my grade. I don't know their names, though. A couple minutes later, Bert is standing in front of me. I look up from my phone to see the unexpected.

The teddy bear.

I nearly drop my phone and stand up immediately. Bert hands it outward to me.

"Y-you didn't have t-"

"No, I didn't. But I wanted to." Shakily, and my heart pumping, I take the bear from him. I admire the all too familiar toy before I let out a breath I didn't know I was even holding. I hug the bear to my chest and take in it's scent, which even smells the same. Scent triggers, I never knew them to exist until now. I remember the first time I hugged the bear to me, taking it down lots of slides in parks, and sitting it upright on my bed next to me while I colored and read it comic books.

"Thank you." Bert shrugs nonchalantly.

"Ah, it was no problem."

"No, really Bert. Thank you." The serious gratitude in my voice is almost scary. He stares back at me.

"You're welcome, Gerard." I smile before gathering my bags from the floor.

"I've gotta go." Bert checks the time, and I guess it was perfect timing for him, because he says that his dad just texted him saying that he's here.

"Thanks for inviting me along."

"Thanks for accepting my offer haha." I smile, amused, at him, which he returns. I pull Bert in for a hug by his shoulders, the thoughts of the teddy bear filling my head yet again. I squeeze him.

"Thank you for the bear."

"Dude, you don't need to keep thanking me." He laughs before patting my back and we start to pull apart. When our faces start to pass each others, my heart stutters, as I do something in the spur of a moment's thought. I kiss Bert quickly on the cheek, feeling tingles through my body as I do so. I say bye then leave quickly in a shy rush. All the while Bert's eyes on me and his face beet red.

I pass by the girls I recognized from school, I glanced up at them, seeing that they were looking at me. I don't know what they were talking so animatedly about, but whatever they were looking at on one another's phones sure seemed to get their gossip going.

Now I've got to go home and start studying for those hellish midterm exams.

-


	24. You're In For A Doozy, Frank Iero

Frank's POV

Ah, Exam Week. The week every student mopes around the building in a somewhat depressed state. I hate to say depressed, because that's far from the case for them. So, okay, more like, really, very sad. It's kinda hilarious to witness, honestly. Now, though, I remember being the exact same way. So I really shouldn't even be amused. But I am, so, let me have my adult fun. It's Tuesday, and officially one day until the three days of exams start. I know Chemistry is a pretty hard subject, and since everybody's got like six other exams to study for, I really did have sympathy for them. So I made my exam as easy as possible. Then again, it's like 150 questions, but that's only because of the school rules on these things. But I made the review so the answers on that are the same on the test, except some may be switched around or worded differently, stuff like that.

What has confused me this whole day, though, is that in every class, I've overheard Gerard's name mentioned in conversations. Actually, now come to think of it, I've heard Bert's name thrown in there too. My mind starts thinking of worst case scenarios, automatically thinking of Bert's form of "bullying" to Gerard in the past and what outcomes that could possibly lead to Bert doing even worse to my boyfriend. My head is a crazed carnival filled with too many different things going on that I almost have a breakdown in front of the last class of the day. I even caught a few kids glance at me worryingly.

"So are they dating?"

"What would any other explanations be about those pictures of them that Taylor and Ashley took? Come on, it's obvious. They so totally are."

"I didn't even know Bert was gay. Let alone Gerard."

"I mean, I didn't get that vibe from Bert, but seriously? Gerard is so obvious!"

"My bad! It's not like I pay attention to him, anyways. I didn't even know his name until all this gossip started."

Okay so I overheard some of that conversation between a guy and a girl, both the type I did my best to avoid in high school, and noticed some other kids with their phones out. I had to do something about this. Even if I was afraid to.

"Seeing that I've heard this gossip escalate for the past two days, I'm assuming all of you trying to sneak your phones are all looking at the same thing. Since I've literally heard two specific names mentioned in every one of my classes. What the fuck is going on? And yes, excuse my language. But I don't care about that. I'll let you all let out your gossip then we're gonna work on review. No talking during review because I'm already getting damn tired of hearing this same old stuff." More like getting more and more anxious. Maybe two thirds of the class erupted into talking, trying to voice what was going on over one another. In the end a girl in the middle was nominated to speak for everybody. I'm not ready for this. Not if it involves Gerard. Hah. "If." I know it involves Gerard. That's why I'm practically quaking in my seat.

"Okay, so like, Taylor and Ashley were at the mall over the weekend, and, like, they saw Gerard Way, that shy kid who never seems to wear any colors but black, you know? And Bert McCracken. Which we thought was like, hella skep. Like, since when did Bert hang out with, okay, I hate to be rude, seriously, but, outcasts? And Gerard at that? I mean, come on, obviously something was up. So like, we were heading to Pink, because who wouldn't? And they saw Gerard sitting at a bench on his phone, Bert wasn't around, so they were like 'woah we should hold back we might miss something here'. And like, they wait for a minute or two, and Bert walks out with this teddy bear, because he was in this toy shop, it's really cool not gonna lie. And like, Bert gave it to Gerard. I guess he either really wanted it or it held special meaning to him or something, because he was shocked to receive it and stuff, but like, that's not even the best part, okay? So like, Taylor and Ashley are trying to be sneaky taking pics of them and stuff because wow, gossip headline of the month happening right here, and like, they hug, it was a pretty tight hug too, like, can Channing Tatum please hug me like that? Anyways, they're pulling apart and Gerard pecks Bert's cheek! Ugh! So unexpected! But I ship it already. So cute. But I guess they both had to leave or something because that's when they went their own directions and stuff. They've gotta be dating, like, seriously!"

Okay what.

No, that- that can't be right. Gerard would never... would he? No, of course not. He's not the kind of person. Maybe it was a spur of the moment kind of thing? Like he was so happy to receive that stuffed animal that it just happened? I mean, when I was little, one year, it was nearing Christmas time. And the class was doing a gift exchange. I got so excited I kissed the cheek of the kid sitting next to me. Gerard was just excited, is all. Yeah... that's it. Hah hah.. But why did Bert get him the toy in the first place? Fuck, I can't handle this.

"Mr. Iero, are you okay? Your face is distressed and you're shaking."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just have barely drank any water today, that's all."

"But anyways, do you want to see the pictures?" I'd rather not, but before I'm able to speak my decline, the girl is already walking over with her phone unlocked and the pictures pulled up. I don't know how she did that all so fast, but she did.

I had to restrain myself from cursing and throwing something off of my desk. There he was, my beautiful, shy, adorable boyfriend in all his glory. Definitely hugging, and definitely kissing Bert McCracken's cheek.

Fuck.

I feel my blood boiling. I need to confront Gerard about this. But do I want to lose him? No. I- I don't want to break up with him. I don't even know the deal behind what's going on there. Fuck fuck fuck.

"So are they dating or what?"

"I don't know, why don't you actually speak to one of them and find out?" A kid near the back speaks up, but not to me.

"Hey, Ray, you're good friends with Gerard, right?" I looked to Ray, remembering he's in this class, to see him glance at me sadly. I mean, obviously he knows about Gerard and I. All of Gerard's friends do.

"Yeah..." Ray's voice is hesitant.

"So are him and Bert dating?"

"Um..." He glances up to me again. "Gerard's got a boyfriend." Smiles started erupting throughout the entire class. "But it's not Bert. He doesn't attend school here." Like half the class screeched "what!" and others gasped.

"Who is he, then?" some students questioned Ray, who seemed uncomfortable still.

"His name's Anthony..." So Gerard told them my middle name. Smooth thinking, Ray. I catch his gaze and give him a nod with a smile, internally applauding his smart thinking.

"Awh, oh my God, do you have any pictures of them?" The girl who showed me the pictures perks up. It's like gay couples are her focal point in life. Ray once again hesitantly glances at me.

"I-I have one. Our friend Lindsey took it upon herself to be paparazzi and took a ton of photos of them together one night when we were all out. Then she sent us all some." Ray takes out his phone and scrolls though his saved photos to the one he was searching for then turned it for the rest of the class to see. They passed it around, and I looked at it too, wondering what on earth it could be. It was our first date, when I had the gig and he came to see. I understand now why Ray decided it was okay to show. My back was facing the camera and you couldn't see a trace of my face or any of my tattoos. Gerard's hands were on my neck and slightly to the back of my head, so it helped disguise my hair, too. He looked so happy there. My arms were around his waist holding him close to me. Is this really what we looked like to other people? It- it was amazing. How lit up Gerard's face was melted my heart. He still looks at me like that. If not more. In the pictures of him and Bert, he looked happy, but the happiness one has when hanging out with a close friend. I feel nothing but confident that the peck on Bert's cheek was out of sheer happiness for the teddy bear, now. That doesn't mean I'm not going to confront him about it, though. Because I still intend to.

After Ray got his phone back, I told everybody to get to work on the review. I informed them that the answers and how to do the problems were sent in an email for them to check their work. So while the class was working on that, I pulled out my phone to send a text to Gerard.

Me: Hey come to my room after school lets out

Because, of course, Gerard was in the middle of class, he didn't respond until right after the bell rang.

Gee: I'm on my way. Why? Is everything okay?

Is everything okay? I really don't know. I hope it will be.

Me: of course

Five minutes later, Gerard walked into the room. His whole face lit up. He, he couldn't have had anything with Bert. He wouldn't look at me like that if he did. ... Right? Nonetheless, I can't help but smile back at the boy, who seems to always captivate me with his every movement. I watch as he sets his backpack down and does a little skip up to me, which I laugh shortly to, before he places his hands on my shoulders gently and leans down for a sweet kiss.

"Hi." Gerard shyly smirks.

"Hi." I breathlessly reply, at a loss for words and nearly forgetting the topic at hand that I need to get to. I nearly lose track again when Gerard soothingly runs his fingers through my hair that was in desperate need of a cut.

"I hated not having your class today." Gerard sits himself down sideways on my lap, I instinctively hold him close. I hum in agreement then nuzzle the black-clad boy on top of me, whose butt was starting to hurt my thighs, to be honest. I give small kisses on his neck, making him chuckle.

"Stop, that tickles! Anyways, what'd you want to talk to me about?" I know Gerard feels me tense under him. "What's wrong?" See, I told you I knew he'd feel it.

"Uh.. um.. well, I... I mean.." I'm cut off by Gerard's lips softly on mine.

"It's okay. Tell me. It's gotta be important." If only you knew what I knew, Gee. I hesitate. I can't confront about this, I-I'm afraid of what the outcome would be if I did. He strokes the side of my face before kissing my forehead. "You can tell me." He whispers. I let out a shaky breath, and start my confrontation.

"H-have you heard what practically all the students have been talking about this week?" I feel Gerard tense, and I know he knows. Perhaps he's even been asked about the rumors. I wouldn't be surprised if he has. "I'm guessing you have."

"I-I'm sorry, I- it was a heat of the moment thing, I was really happy, I- it's been nagging me every day, Frankie, I-I've had trouble sleeping, I feel so bad, I- shit, I don't know why I did it. Why did I do that? It's like I'm leading him on now, I know he likes me, I-" I cut off Gerard's rambling that took an unexpected turn.

"He likes you? Like... likes you likes you?" Gerard whimpers as he wraps his arms around my neck and nuzzles his face in the crook of it. "Gerard..." He only tightens his grip. "Gerard, please... answer me." My heart is pounding, I- wait, do I have competition now or some shit? Shit! Shit fuck damn.

Gerard sighs in defeat before slowly lifting his head to meet my gaze, his eyes were watering, only slightly. Then he nods ever so shortly that I barely catch it. "Yes." I sigh in frustration while rubbing my hand down my face.

"How do you know?" I dare to ask. He stared at me before blinking rapidly and averting his gaze to elsewhere, everywhere besides my face.

"H-He was confused... a couple months back. When we just started dating. Like, shortly after we were considered 'official'. It happened after the first time we did anything remotely... you know." Gerard holds a blush as I remember the first incident of ours in the classroom with a smile on my face.

"What do you mean by 'it'?" That's when Gerard lets tears slip. I try to comfort him, but it's really hard, wondering what could have happened that he felt so bad that he was crying.

"He confronted me in the bathroom upstairs. He wanted to apologize... but that led into him saying he liked me.. a-and.. I, was foolish, stupid, asked him w-what he meant, a-and then, he. He k-" Gerard had to stop to collect himself more. And what is to come is what dropped my heart to the floor. "Bert kissed me."

My hands clench into fists, gathering the fabric of his sweater, or my sweater, actually, since he has yet to give it back and I've yet to have the chance to take it back. I must look completely pained because Gerard starts panicking.

"I-it, it only l-lasted a second, h-he was confused, please, F-Frank, understand that. B-because confusion at this age is n-normal. Nothing e-else has happened, okay? That kiss m-meant nothing. My heart is yours." I feel awful that I doubt how truthful his last sentence is. I... I need to let him get his act together. He's confused... I know he is. Somebody else came into his life, and he's starting to get confused. That does happen. Shit... I-I can't. Maybe I need to give him some time to... figure himself out.

"Gerard, please, this question I'm about to ask, I need you to be completely honest with me. I don't want our relationship to get to the point where we always lie to each other." Gerard nods timidly in response, and I take a sharp intake of breath. Then ask my question.

"Are you starting to develop feelings for Bert?" Gerard immediately looks to me, his hazel eyes glassy and wide. I can tell he's processing how his emotions are through his head right now. Then his beautiful, innocent, youthful face scrunches up as he starts to cry and he holds himself close to me. I hug back, but loosely.

"I'm sorry." His voice is cracked and broken. "I'm so sorry." Then everything hits me full force. My chest feels heavy, my head feels light, and my face is starting to feel wet as I realize that I, myself have started to cry. Gerard's feelings are starting to lie elsewhere. I let out a shaky breath before a choked sob escapes my mouth. Then I stand up, Gerard having no choice but to get off of my lap. I've never seen him this broken. He knows I'm not happy. And I'm well aware that he knows what consequences may come out of this. I look at Gerard brokenly before I shake my head, in disbelief of sorts.

"I shouldn't be as surprised as I am."

"Why?" The boy hiccups in return.

"I'm older than you, and not only by a few months or a year. So, yeah, a guy comes along that's actually your age. And, need I remind you, isn't illegal, Gerard."

"Why are you saying this?" Gerard is starting to sound incredulous. "F-Frank, are you breaking up... with me? No, no no no, please. Frankie." My heart tugs at my pet name, and the brokenness of Gerard. He's still crying, the tears streaming fluently. I'm shedding tears here and there, not as much.

"Gerard... I- I can't have us going on when I know your feelings are also with someone else. You... you need to work out how you feel about who you feel for."

"But... I love you." My face scrunches up at those three little, but huge words and I let out a sob. "Frankie." Gerard is taking slow steps to me.

"Gerard you know I love you, too, but I literally cannot do this if you're also starting to feel these things for Bert fucking McCracken, okay? Just... hang out with him, hell, go to the fucking dance with him, I don't care. Sort yourself out-"

"Frank, listen to me!" I shut up, gawping at Gerard, who is now stood right up close to me with his hands on either side of my face. "I like him, yes, okay? You've gathered that. But I like him. I love you. There's a fucking difference." I stutter after a few moments, no words forming themselves into sentences. It doesn't matter because Gerard continues. "If you want me to take him to the dance, fine, I will. I'll figure out my damn emotions to see how I feel about Bert and what may come from that. But please, Frankie, I fucking love you. I-I can't lose you, or, I swear, I will not want to be alive." I instantly wrap my arms around Gerard's middle and pull his heated body into mine, nuzzling my face into his neck, him doing the same. "I'm starting to get conflicted. But... I know where my heart is. ...At least for now."

At least for now.

This isn't gonna last, between him and I, is it? Oh, God, I don't care I need him. I'm gonna make the most of us. Until that may end. Because am I doubting how long we're gonna last? Yes.

"I don't want to take Bert to the dance."

"Why?"

"Because it'll add to the stupid rumors." I breathe a laugh and my heart flutters when he moves his arm to run his hand through the back of my hair soothingly. "I wanna dance with my hot, tattooed, illegal boyfriend and it's going to happen. I don't care if it's even in a kitchen pantry." We pull apart, only slightly, our arms afraid to let go of the other, as if it was symbolizing the letting go of our relationship. Gerard kisses me passionately. I kiss back with just as much force. Perhaps he is kissing the way he's kissing to prove to himself who he loved, but I am not letting that thought stay in my mind.

"You're still my Dove. Even when you leave, whether it's for college or something else, you always will be."

"Stop being cheesy you're making me want to cry again." As he said, a few quick drops fell down his cheeks, and I kissed them away, I got a giggle out of him. One that I haven't heard in a while. "I'm afraid of my feelings for Bert, Frank. But I don't want to just start ignoring him, you know? He really has no friends, yeah he hangs out and gets along with mine, but he's only around them when I am. I- I can't disown him because I know all too well how that feels."

"You'll figure it out, Gee."

"But I'm scared."

"I'm scared, too."

I'm not going to lie to Gerard, I'm absolutely terrified. I don't want to lose him, the only serious relationship I've ever had, and have ever wanted.

-


	25. The Edge of Tonight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBh6oV8QYpQ

 

Gerard's POV

The past couple days between Frank and I have been slightly tense. Above all, awkward. We both tried our best to forget about the confrontation Frank had with me the few days prior. But it won't go away. It was in the back of our heads at all times. Do I still enjoy being in his company? Well, no shit, of course I do. We've still hung out while we could between classes, sharing kisses and chatting. But I feel I've lost some of Frank's trust. All because Bert just had to kiss me those few months ago. I can't help but feel guilty, though. I get butterflies when I'm with Bert. Taken, I do get them still from Frank. But Frank was right about assuming if I was getting feelings for Bert. Because I feel myself thinking about kissing him, and how it'd be different when he forced it upon me in the bathroom. Luckily though, I never think about that around Frank, or when I'm kissing him. That'd for sure be bad. I feel bad for even thinking it at all. Exams passed in a blur, which I also occasionally helped Bert study for, and I could see how much more confident he is in himself about knowing the material, and I'm proud of him.

So now is the day of the Christmas dance. We were all let out after finishing the last of our exams, and Lindsey was finalizing everything with her parents over the phone. The girls were all going to her house early to get ready together. Dallon suggested us guys do the same thing, so we all agreed to go get the things we need before heading off to his house.

Everybody decided group pictures would be at 7:00, giving us half an hour until we leave to get to the dance at 8:00. The guys all joked around the few hours we had to get ourselves ready, unsurprisingly, Pete adorned himself with eyeliner. Because Pete's just like that. Obviously, the gang of immature apes I like to call my friends joke around about Frank and I. Admittedly, I laugh along with them at some of the things spilling from their mouths.

"Just watch them give those glances to one another across the dancefloor like in those silly movies." Ray pesters me as I'm adjusting my tie with little skulls on it, nudging my elbow. I roll my eyes in annoyance, even though he's definitely right. I just know it's going to happen.

"Ten bucks, I bet you they walk to each other after practically gawking at one another." Andy pipes up from Dallon's bed, where he's putting his shoes on.

"Raise it to fifteen and you have a deal, Hurley."

"Deal! You're going down, man." The two goofs shook on it, well, after debating if they should seal the pact with spitting on their hands first.

"You all need relationships of your own. I'm tired of you obsessing over my own. Let me be the one to obsess over it." I walk out of the room ignoring the joking comments thrown out behind me, passing Mikey and Pete helping each other out in the hallway, I notice they're standing a bit closer than what I'd personally consider normal, but I shake the thought off and go into the bathroom to see what to do about my hair. It looks unkempt, really. I wanted to just leave it, maybe run my fingers through it a few times, but I decided against it, and I know my mom would be slightly upset if I didn't do anything. So I grab the straightener that like, half of us here have used so far, and straighten the growing black mop on the top of my head. After a few minutes, I got it the way I want it then notice hairspray, Dallon's I'm guessing, and use a little. After styling the way I want it and am satisfied, I walk back out and head downstairs, since that's where all the voices are, and because Dallon came and informed me they were all ready and were headed down while I was in the bathroom.

Everybody were taking some selfies, so, seeing my chance, I jumped in the back of some and did the classic photobomb. A favorite of mine.

"Ready to go to the night of our lives, as it's so stereotypically labeled?" Pete asks us all once we settle down from crazy selfie mode (no dreaded selfie sticks involved). We all give a chorus of hoots and hollers and get in three cars, me taking Mikey and Pete, Dallon's mom taking him and Ray, and Andy following suit by himself, since he offered to drive some of the others from Lindsey's house.

About fifteen minutes later we all arrived at Lindsey's. A few cars were already there, the parents of the girls probably all gathered in the main room chatting animatedly at how gorgeous their daughters look and how they remember when they went to their own proms. Everybody parks and climbs out of their cars, walking up to the house behind all the other guys. Before I even make it onto the porch, the door opens fast and Lindsey's mom exclaims at "how handsome you all are." Making us all sheepish.

"Linds, the boys are here!" A chorus of small shrieks are heard by all of us and we file into the home I know all too well. I saw Hayley and Lindsey walking to us, looking gorgeous as ever. I honestly couldn't stop staring. It was like goddesses were before my eyes. Hayley's straight, orange hair contrasts really well with a simple, flowing, strapless light teal dress and pastel pink heels. Her eyes are complimented with eyeshadow a shade deeper than her dress and light pink lipstick. That explains why Dallon's tie is a light blue. They're going together. Duh. Geez, Gerard. Now, Lindsey, on the other hand, her dress is a deep wine-colored red, also strapless, except for her bust area. That was a black pleather material. Her heels are black, adorned with studs, and she's wearing a choker that matches. Her makeup remains her usual, accompanied with her typical bright red lipstick. Even for a dance, she never goes without being punk. That's my girl. While Hayley and Dallon immediately go to one another, Lindsey, as usual, goes straight to me.

"You look beautiful, Linds." Even though she's wearing blush for once, I can see her cheeks grow slightly pink, which is a first. Lindsey rarely ever blushes.

"Thanks, I guess. Dressing up like this isn't my thing, you know that. So I'm kinda being tortured right now. But you look so handsome!" She turns the attention to me, putting her hands on either side of my side and lowers her voice. "Frank isn't gonna be able to take his eyes off of you. I know it." Now it's my turn to blush.

"Just shut up and hug me, girl." I mumble as I wrap my arms around her middle and bring her to me. Lindsey giggles and holds onto my shoulders, scruffing my hair in the back a little.

"If Gerard weren't gay, I'd swear those two would date." Pete speaks up suddenly at our side.

"They'd make a good couple, honestly." Ray observes with a smile. Everybody agrees.

"Oh my God, guys, shut up. He and Frank are the best things in existence. I'm just Gee's main bestie."

"Yeah, yeah, we all know. Trust me. But we're all just saying that you two are like two puzzle pieces. I mean, obviously Gee and Frank are as well. Like, they clicked instantly. I saw it immediately." Andy joins Ray's side, but the conversation is suddenly interrupted by a door bell.

"That's gotta be him!" Lindsey exclaims, pulling away from my now confused self to go to the door to answer it.

"She's got a date. He doesn't go to our school." Pete answers my questioning thoughts for me. I just nod my head in understanding.

A slightly taller boy, around Dallon's height, with luscious brown hair follows Lindsey back over to where we're standing in her living room. He looks familiar, but I can't place it.

"Everybody! I'd like you to meet my friend, and date for the night, Brendon. Dallon already knows him because they went to the same grade school, but everybody else, I believe you've never met." Brendon! From the movie theater!

"Actually I've met him once. It was brief. At the movie theater a couple weeks ago with Frank." I speak up. Giving a small smile to Brendon when he turns his attention to me. I know he recognizes me because his face automatically lights up.

"Yeah, I remember! Gerard, right? The short guy with the tattoos was Frank, then?" I nod with a blush at his mention of Frank. Brendon lets out a small, humorous laugh. "Oh I know that sheepish look. He's your boyfriend or something, isn't he?" Instead of myself answering, all my friends decide to chirp in instead with a chorus of confident "yes" and a couple "fuck yeah he is." are said.

"Awh, man! I can totally see the bond you two have, and I barely saw the two of you together. There's this guy I like, I'm bi, by the way, he's a little older than me, really. The situation is a bit difficult, too. But I know he likes me back. We've actually confessed our feelings to one another, we just are trying to figure out how we can make it work right now. Like, if we should wait, things like that." (a/n who do you think this guy is & what do you think their situation is?)

"I'm sure you can make it work. Frank and I's situation is difficult too, matter-of-factly." No way am I stating that he's my teacher. Wait. Frank's working at the dance tonight. What if Brendon makes a connection? Shit. Oh, well, it's okay. It's fine, just play it off. Everything will be okay, Gerard. Don't worry. Brendon smiles widely at my words, they seem to have really had an effect on him.

"Thank you a lot, actually. It really gives me hope." The moment is interrupted when yet another ring of the doorbell signals throughout the house.

"Oh my God." Mikey rushes out of his lips before he leaves the room. Confused, I follow him out. Behind the now open door steps in a cute, petite girl with curled brown hair, and most definitely one of the warmest smiles I've ever seen. Her dress is form-fitting and royal blue, lace patterned on top of a silky material. Two adults walk in behind her, the parents, I presume. Mikey and the girl exchange nervous hellos before hugging. Is that...?

"Gerard!" Mikey signals me over, and, being my awkward self, especially around strangers, I nervously walk up to where they are. "T-this is... Kristin."

So that's who it is. The mysterious girl I've been curious about for 5 months, but never met. Her radiant smile and bright eyes meet my gaze and I stumble on my hello, which she laughs lightly to before returning it and spontaneously pulling me in for a hug, her head resting on chest.

"So you're the big brother I always hear highly of."

"W-wh? I- highly of?" My face feels hot as I hug her back, after snapping out of my shock. She pulls away, and I'm slightly thankful, having not known what to do in the situation.

"Yep! Mikey talks about you a lot. Never bad things, really. I was excited to meet you."

"Oh- I, wow. Um? Well when I found out he was taking you to our prom I got excited, too. I always saw him texting this mysterious 'Kristin' and I was curious, you know?" Kristin laughs heartily and nods her head in understanding. She turns her gaze to Mikey, and I look back at him, then back at her. They look awestruck. And I can't help but smile. Mikey's had relationships before, one was a little serious, and the other, well, the girl was using him. I never liked her. The first girl, I'm still friends with. I just don't get to talk to her as often as I'd like. I decide to leave them and go back to everybody else in the other room.

"Well, I'll just- leave... have fun introducing her to Mom, Mikes." Mikey's head snaps to me and his eyes widen.

"Oh yeah! Come on, Kristin. It's about time you met her. She can be enthusiastic, though, so... just, be aware." Mikey leads Kristin off to our mom, who arrived sometime when we were in the living room.

Half an hour later we were finishing taking our group pictures and finalizing carpools before heading off. In ten minutes time, the part of the town center where the school rented out the place for the night was in front of us, along with cars surrounding us with other prom attendees. Before getting out, I feel my phone buzz, so I pull it out, seeing I have a text.

Bert: have fun tonight G (:

Me: You know I'll try. Would've been more fun with you here though. Xo

Bert: I appreciate the thought, dude. Just wasn't feeling it. Be safe! Xxx

Me: you know it :)

 

For some odd reason, my nerves decide to kick in at this very moment instead of earlier, as what usually happens to me for events of this sort. My bladder almost leaks and wets my pants when two firm grasps on my shoulders appear out of nowhere, frightening me. I felt myself jump a little bit. And I can swear that I felt the tiniest, tiniest bit of pee come out.

"You're just standing there. You okay?" Brendon asks me with sympathy laced in his eyes.

"Wh-? Oh, um, yeah. I mean, I just got hit with nerves is all. I really don't know."

"Hey, it'll be fine. You've got us all as your numerous dates." We're all heading together now into the building, where muffled music is coming from the main hall. I can already tell it's the typical Top 40 crap. Hopefully the playlist will vary. Hopefully. We all get closer to the front of the line as more and more students are let through after being breathalyzed. A minute or two later, we're done and walking into the darkened, elegant room. Decorations in shades of deep red and off-white rang from the tables to the dancefloor area, where there's currently a ridiculous rap song about watching someone whipping and "nae nae"ing that makes me want to throw up is playing.

"Speaking of dates, Gerard, I forgot to ask. Where's your boyfriend? I don't want to be rude or anything, but I thought he'd accompany you at least." Brendon catches up to me to say what was on his mind.

"What? Oh, um, he was busy with uh... an event. He had no choice in the matter." And, ironically, I spot him in the near distance. My heart stops. I've never seen him dressed up like this. He's so handsome. His hair is in its usual style, just a tad more tamed, and his black suit is form fitting, a waistcoat peeking out from his unbuttoned sport coat. Frank's shirt is just a simple white one. All in all, I can't take my eyes off of the god before my eyes. And, obviously, since I'm stuck like glue on him, I am not paying attention to a damn thing. Other than him, of course. I walked right into something. That for sure snaps me back to reality.

"Hey, pay attention, loser!" I have to look up at the jock before me. He's the star of the football team, I know that. And you know that means. He's the most popular dude in school. A douchebag, in my honest opinion. My eyes widen slightly at his intimidating look, with a tangerine orange spray tanned girl with half her boobs hanging out in a scandalous dress with way too much makeup attached to his hip. She was looking me up and down with disgust, like she was ashamed that I would do such a thing as go remotely near the guy she probably thinks is a hunk. I feel a presence or two behind me when words start to come out of my mouth.

"I-I-sorry, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention, my mind was elsewhere, I-"

"Probably checking out the guys he'll never get because they're actually, like, normal." The girl, who I've now distinguished to have a nasally voice, rudely speaks up. I'm confused as to what she means by 'normal' though.

"Damn fags don't know how to keep to themselves and stay away from us. Watch where you're walking, faggot. And keep your seeking eyes elsewhere. Fucker." I'm hurt, truly. What the fuck did I do to deserve this? I feel my eyes watering and I'm stuttering, trying to form words.

"I-I, I'm sorry? You think calling me a f-fag is making you a better person? You're disgusting. You think degrading other people is your calling, or some shit. Yeah, I'm gay, so what? Like I'd ever go for a fuckboy like you. I like people who are human, with true emotions, and with their morals in order. So don't call me a fag or any other term because you're feeling so low about yourself t-that you feel the need to say those things. Have fun with your orange of a girlfriend." At the end of that, I feel confident in myself. I finally found my voice. It doesn't last, my confidence in myself. I should've seen it coming. He shoved me. And I would've without a doubt fallen on my ass if Ray and Brendon weren't the presences I felt behind me earlier.

"Leave him alone!" Brendon has to restrain his voice a bit so it doesn't get too loud, but it still caught attention. Other students, staff.

Frank.

He comes over immediately, perhaps because he's the closest chaperone to the incident.

"Hey, hey. Hey! What's going on?" Frank looks straight to the jock with an annoyed expression, I was somewhat aware of his hand on my upper arm.

"He called my girlfriend an orange!" I have to hold back a snort, which Brendon doesn't struggle to hold his back. He lets one out, loudly. The jock took a step forward, and Brendon squeaked quietly.

"I'm sure there's a valid reason for that, yeah?" Frank was having none of this guy's shit. He turns his gaze to me and it immediately softens, making my heart melt. "What actually happened, Gerard?"

"I-I, uh, I wasn't paying attention t-to my surroundings and I r-ran into him then he c-called me cr-cruel things, a-and I, I stood up for myself. ....which ended in me calling his girlfriend an orange..." I trail off at the end, a blush rising on my face when I see Frank look at me amusedly and biting back a smile. Brendon makes a noise behind me. I turn to see his expression, his brows are furrowed and he's looking back and forth between Frank and I. He makes eye contact with me and his eyes flicker.

He figured it out. He keeps silent though. For now, at least.

"Come with me. You three." Frank gestures to the two in front of me and myself. We follow him, well, I walk beside Frank, and they follow behind us. The head administrator of the school is by the front entrance, which is where Frank stops us all.

"I believe these two were verbally bullying, and I feel it was going to get physical, because I had to interfere when this young lad here shoved this one." He gestures to me at the end of his sentence. I laughed a little at 'young lad.' They told me what happened and I thought it best for you to hear it as well to decide about how to handle it and stuff, over my personal opinion."

"What's your personal opinion, Iero?"

"Um, that these two used unnecessary behavior and should be escorted out of the event." The administrator nods their head and asks us to repeat our story, which we do. Them feigning confidence in themselves and me being honest to the core and showing my nervousness around their presence and looks in my direction.

"Okay, so, from my standpoint, you very rudely called out this boy solely because his mind was elsewhere. You went too far, and you took it further than necessary. And you," the head directs to me, "stood up for yourself. Something I know firsthand is very hard to do. And I applaud you for that. Though it was still unacceptable to call this girl an orange solely because of the color of her skin, whether it's true or not." I feel Frank's hand rub my upper back soothingly, and briefly, given our location. I blush and catch his gaze, which he smiles at. I turn my eyes back to the person in charge.

"So, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask you two to leave. Give me a parents' phone number so I can call and inform them on the situation at hand." The girl screeches in pain, catching the attention of people near us. I have to hold in a laugh. "As for you, Gerard, I'm giving you a warning. Enjoy your night. You're free to go." I immediately say thank you, and, being the rad person I am, apologize to the girl then start walking away.

"I never got to say how handsome you look." I jump at the voice and turn around, Frank having trailed right behind me when I walked away. I immediately smile.

"I never got to say that you're wearing my favorite tie. ...and how beautiful you are all dressed up." The tie is a deep red, and whenever he wore it to school the occasional times he actually did wear one, I loved how it looked beside his tattoos. I look up to his face after admiring the tie and restraining myself from touching it to see him doing that damn sideways smile that melts my heart. I notice his gaze flicker behind me briefly. Then I discover why. On either side of me are Lindsey and Brendon.

"You look fucking rocker, Lindsey." Frank smiles, not caring about his language around her. It's like he knows the vibe between us. Hell, maybe it even radiates to him. She just smiles widely at him in all her red lipped ready-to-kill-with-a-wink face.

"Hell yeah, I do." Lindsey wraps her arms around me from behind, one around my shoulder and one underneath my opposite arm, resting her head on that shoulder. I giggle at her cuddliness because it's rare from her and turn my head, planting a simple kiss on her temple. Lindsey, in turn, scowls at me playfully before pulling away.

"Oh! Um, while I remember, Gerard, Frank, I really wanna talk to you two about something that I feel only you two will understand." Brendon pipes up, giving Lindsey a look of plead.

"Fine, I'll leave you to it." She flashes her beautiful smile and picks up the bottom of her dress, skipping over to Hayley and a girl I recall named Alicia.

"Wanna go sit? And sorry if I don't look at you while you talk to us, but I think I gotta keep my whole 'patrolling the students' vibe going." Frank brings up, gesturing us over to the table section. I sit between the two of them, facing the dancefloor. Brendon on my right side, Frank on my left.

"I gathered you're a teacher." Brendon starts nonchalantly, which Frank nods to, keeping his eyes grazing over the crowd.

"He doesn't remember me, does he?" Brendon asks to me, causing Frank to turn around with a confused look on his face. "Brendon... from the movie theater... concession stand... where you and your boyfriend," he gestured to me, "went and seemed to be rushing out of in a near panic after your movie ended." Well, Brendon put it pretty bluntly. And Frank's face turned shocked and a bit pale. "No! No no no don't worry, seriously. It clicked in my head when you came and interfered the situation Gerard was in. You were obviously a teacher, and prior to that happening I even asked Gerard why he didn't bring you as his date tonight. ...Now I see why."

Frank and I stare at him. We're utterly shocked. He should be disgusted. He should automatically get up and go tell the head administrator that's here. He should be telling us how sinful and disgusting we are. But no. He's sat there, calmly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"I-I can exp-" I begin, before I'm cut off.

"Remember the guy I told you about that I like and he likes me back and our situation is difficult?" Brendon asks, looking me straight in the eye with a serious expression. I just nod meekly and he sighs, running his fingers through his slicked back quiffed hair. "H-his name is Ryan. A-and... he's m- fuck. He's one of my teachers, Gerard." Frank makes a choking sound and my jaw drops open.

"H-how old is he?" Frank asks, attention full on us.

"He's... he's 26. Ten fucking years older than me. I'm only a junior, too, I- I can't." Frank takes a sharp intake of breath at the news of his age.

"Brendon... I'm sorry, I really don't know what to say. I want to tell you to wait, for the better. But I, of all people, know how hard that is." Frank looks at me sadly before continuing. "Does he perhaps have any other job opportunities? That way it'll make it easier on you two if he were to teach at a different school?" Brendon looks astonished.

"I-I haven't thought about asking him, I should." Brendon's face brightened up, only slightly, at the notion. At least it's better than nothing.

"You can make it work, Brendon. Just, be careful, okay? Be so careful." I reach forward and put my hand on top of his folded ones and squeeze lightly. "Wanna go dance? Linds keeps looking over at us. I think that's a sign." I smile and Brendon lets out a short, breathy laugh.

"Yeah. I'm up for shaking my ass. I'm good at that. Let's go do that. You can shake your ass for your boyfriend in all knowing that he's watching but not able to do anything." I laugh at that, and the more I think about it, the more tempting the idea sounds.

"We'll see." I stand up and start walking, Brendon following suit, and wave bye to Frankie, him giving me a look of 'you better not tempt me.' I smirk and surround myself with the sweating bodies around me, already finding difficulty in breathing. Currently, an AC/DC song is playing. One of the few songs being played that doesn't fall under pop, rap, or country, which seems to be the only things these other people listen to. It upsets me, but I ignore it, letting the power of Brian Johnson's voice getting me pumped and happy with my friends.

Twenty minutes pass and my sport coat is off and my sleeves rolled up.

"Hey hey! How's it going tonight upperclassmen of Belleville High School?! I'm your DJ, Dr. Death Defying, I'm being your surgeon, your proctor, your helicopter. Pumpin' out the slaughtermatic sounds to keep you alive tonight. This one's for all you lovebirds, all you couples and close friends. Listen up!" A slow song starts filling my ears, with a distinct sound that I can't quite place yet.

It's a long way home,

When you're on your own,

And your only friends are the traffic lights,

Speaking in morse code,

(Yea) The road is long,

And I am tired,

But with you on my horizon,

I will drive until it all breaks down

Ah, yes. All Time Low. I'm just peacefully standing to myself, swaying a little, letting to music overcome me. I don't want any friend to do the awkward slow dance thing with me right now. I want to fully hear the lyrics.

'Cause I can't breathe without you near,

You keep me safe,

You keep me sane,

You keep me honest,

My mind immediately goes to Frank. And I wonder if he's thinking of me. I open my eyes and search around the room, our gazes locking with the knowledge of how the lyrics are relatable to us. We stare at each other as the lyrics are still going on, speaking wordlessly with our eyes.

You keep me alive,

On the edge of tonight,

Chasing tomorrow,

With fire in my eyes,

You're like a siren in the dark,

You're the beat playing in my heart,

You keep me alive,

On the edge of tonight,

Frank gets up and goes to the direction of the bathroom. I lose sight of him so I turn back around and see my friends, immediately smiling. They all look peaceful. Dallon and Hayley look over to me, adorable and affectionate to one another, and my gaze drifts over to Mikey and Kristin, and my stomach flutters. Her head is resting on his chest and her eyes are closed, both her arms wrapped around his middle. Mikey has one of his arms protectively around her while the other his soothingly stroking her head, he's smiling down at her. I've never seen him like this. It makes me immensely happy as his older brother. This is all I could wish for him. My eyes catch Pete, watching Mikey, with an almost sad look on his face. It confuses me beyond belief, but the thought slips my mind when I feel my phone buzz in my pocket, seeing I have a text. From Frank.

Frankie: care to have this dance?

My heart flutters and I can't help the huge grin on my face. I'm finally going to get the slow dance I've wanted. I put my phone away and walk across the hall to the bathroom I saw him heading to. The squeak of the door announces my arrival, and I have to look around before I see feet under a stall door. Converse. The only other person wearing converse tonight is my boyfriend. My adorable little shit of a boyfriend. I clear my throat, and the stall door swings open, Frank crossing one foot in front of the other.

"I accept your offer." I quietly pipe up in the echoey bathroom, walking into the farthest stall from the entrance, out of sight from anybody who entered. The door closes behind me and reach my hand back to lock it, the proximity between Frank and I very minimal, our breaths intermingling.

When the road's too long,

And I am tired,

You are my horizon,

And I'll drive until it all breaks down,

My body is tingling with anticipation, and that sensation heightens when Frank puts his hands on my hips and gently pulls me into him, planting a loving, passionate kiss on my lips. I kiss back automatically, my heart struggling to keep a steady rhythm. My arms slowly wrap around his broad shoulders then he breaks away from the kiss, starting to sway us. I giggle as he guides the motion of my hips with his hands, resting my forehead on his and looking down, my vision flush with our close bodies. Almost as if both our brains thought it at the same time, we start moving our feet along, side by side.

You keep me safe,

You keep me sane,

You keep me honest, honest, honest, oh woah

You keep me safe,

You keep me sane,

You keep me honest

We start going in small circles, the backs of our legs bumping the edge of the toilet from time to time. We smile at each other, gazing into one another's eyes. I run my fingers through his lengthening hair.

You keep me alive,

On the edge of tonight,

Chasing tomorrow,

With fire in my eyes, (yea)

You're like a siren in the dark,

You're the beat playing in my heart,

You keep me alive,

On the edge of tonight, (yea)

"I love you, Frankie. I love you." I whisper, my head resting on his, both our eyes closed. I feel his grip tighten on me and pull me even closer, though that was near impossible.

We're on the edge of tonight

Edge of tonight

You keep me safe,

You keep me sane,

You keep me honest, honest, honest (standing on the edge of tonight)

On the edge of tonight

On the edge of tonight

On the edge of tonight

"I love you more, my illegal romance." He whispers back. I connect my lips to his in a chaste, but needy kiss.

Neither of us notice the sound of other feet scuffling in the bathroom.

-


	26. What's Going On With My Brother?

Gerard's POV (sorry I just really wanted to continue prom night in Gerard's perspective)

I was somewhat aware of the squeaking of the door right beside us closing and locking. Maybe even the sound of the toilet seat clinking closed. But that was all subconsciously, though. I was too focused on how I was feeling with Frank. His arms were wrapped around me, holding me close and rubbing up and down my back, giving me comfort and the feeling of safety. The older boy's lips forming perfectly with mine as our kissing turned slower and a bit more passionate.

Did I just hear the snap of a phone camera? No, I couldn't have.

"What are these activities going on here?!" Is shouted from above us. I break away with a small scream, my heartbeat racing and my facial expression wild, exactly like how Frank is. I look up and see Pete above us. I heave a sigh. In a matter of a few nano-seconds, a weight as large as ten elephants was put on me then lifted as soon as it came.

"Pete, what the fuck?!" I hissed, opening the bathroom stall door and nearly hitting Frank in the process before he stopped it with his hands. I look back briefly, apologetic, then go back to my endeavors, which currently involves Pete Wentz. I'm met face to face with Dallon, who also has a wide smile on his face. Both boys are struggling to keep laughs in, easily failing. I'm fuming. The idiots don't realize what was all going through my head.

"You should've seen your face, seriously! Oh my God, you were like a deer caught in headlights in its last moments of life. Oh, man." Pete was slightly wheezing now, resting his hands on his knees. I take the moment to storm up to him and I shove him. That was the great moment I witnessed Pete Wentz fall back right on his ass.

"You fucker! Do you have no sympathy!? Jesus Christ, no wonder you don't have a girlfriend! You're cruel! I can't believe you, Pete." I'm glaring daggers over the now sorrow-stricken boy. I don't know why I said what I said, honestly. It just came out, like word vomit.

"Babe, calm down." Frank comes slowly behind me and wraps his arms around my waist before pulling me back from Pete. Dallon, whose laughter died down when I started near yelling, comes over and helps Pete up. "What he did was kinda douchey, yeah, but can't you tell he's regretful? Pete's obviously sorry." I look back up to Pete, and see the sorrow laced all over his face and through his eyes.

"I-I... I didn't mean to upset you so much, Gerard, I... Lindsey saw you walk in and assumed Frank was in here too so she sent me to fulfill her "duties"... you know how she is." My face immediately softens. I should've known. Pete can do annoying things at times, but Lindsey is the queen of them.

"Shit, I should've known. I-I'm sorry, Pete." Pete shrugs, a smile tugging at one corner of his lips, Dallon patting his shoulder in the bro manner they always share. "I- Pete, I'm sorry I said you'd never get a girlfriend... that was awful of me to say." At this Pete's expression changes to something I can't quite put a name to. He looks as if he's contemplating something to himself before he shakes his head, then looks me in the eyes.

"Well... it makes sense that I'd never get a girlfriend." The other three of us in the bathroom look at him dumbfounded.

"What are you saying?" Dallon speaks with caution.

"You see, it makes sense that I'd never get a girlfriend, but..." Pete lets out a sigh. "a... boyfriend."

Pete what are you doing?

"W-what?" I squeak.

"Gerard, I'm gay."

None of us have time to react because the door springs open with force, and Frank immediately steps away from me and unslips his arm from my waist.

My younger brother storms into the tiled area before stopping right in his tracks, noticing all of us.

"Oh."

"Oh?" I ask.

"I... spilled punch on myself. Someone bumped into me." Mikey's quiet voice fills the quiet bathroom. That's when I notice part of his white shirt is wet and pink from the fruity punch.

"Oh my God." I crack a smile. I feel bad for him, yeah, but I'm his older brother, so of course it's at least a little bit funny to me.

"Shut up." Just leave and go dance with Lindsey or yourself or something.

"Don't you want help?"

"Not from you." Mikey glances at Pete, but I don't notice. I'm looking at his shirt.

"You're probably gonna have to have Mom take that to the drycleaners or something."

"Yeah, yeah... just go on." I just stare at him, still in my spot. "Shoo!" Mikey waves his hands in the appropriate fashion before I feel Frank tug on my hand, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles, which snaps me out of it.

"Come on, Gee." Frank says quietly. I nod before I lean to him, giving him a much needed kiss on his lips. "I love you." He mumbles sweetly onto my lips, making me smile.

"I know." I mumble back.

"Ah, come on, lovebirds!" Dallon breaks us apart and signals for Frank to leave first, so there's less suspicion. After a few minutes and small talk with Pete and Mikey, Dallon and I head out, get some water, and then back to the dancefloor. After ten or so minutes, no more than twenty, I see Mikey and Pete walking out. Pete had given Mikey his black waistcoat to wear to help hide the stained pink (and still kinda damp) shirt. And it really did help hide it. What I did notice after that, and looking more closely, was that Mikey's face is pink with blushing, and Pete as well, who is trying to bite back an embarrassed smile, looking down at the ground. What had happened between the two of them? I don't want to be nosy. Maybe they'll bring it up on their own terms. I hope so.

By now, the Christmas dance is nearing its end, with some people already going to gather their stuff at their tables. A few slower classic rock songs have been playing, much to my approval.

I make my way over to our group's table, where everybody else already is.

"So!" Lindsey pipes up, clapping her hands together once. "Anyone up for spending the night at mine?" Everyone either hums or nods in approval.

"We'd have to get clothes to change into, though." Andy brings up.

"Oh. Right..."

"It's fine, Linds. We can do that. Surprisingly for it being the middle of December in New Jersey, the weather isn't that bad tonight. We're fine with making the extra trips." Ray includes.

"Okay, cool! Just go get some changes of clothes then head to mine!" Everybody whoops and hollers in agreement before shrugging on their coats and heading outside, conveniently all our rides were here. I pass Frank at the entrance and he smiles warmly at me, making my heart flutter. I return the gesture.

I'd have preferred spending the night with him, but hey, he's spending three or so days at my house this upcoming week. I'll be fine. No I won't. Yes I will. Oh, whatever, I can manage.

Mikey and Kristin climb into the back of Mom's car while I join her side in the passenger seat. She greets us warmly, asking the typical mom questions and us explaining to her the plans for the night. Though, sadly, Kristin can't join us. So she provides our mom with directions to her house, which isn't far at all, and we drop her off, wishing her sweet goodbyes, though I sensed a little bit of tension between her and Mikey. I wonder why. When we get to our house, all of us go our separate ways, Mikey and I to our rooms upstairs and Mom in the living room to wait for us. I quickly change out of this silly suit and toss them in the hamper, deciding to change into my black PJ pants and a band shirt because I'd be changing into them anyways as soon as I got to Lindsey's. After I have everything packed, I notice Mikey isn't done, so I take the opportunity to question him.

"Hey, Mikes." He mumbles a reply from sitting on his bed, folding up his clothes into his duffel bag.

"Did you have fun tonight?"

"Mom already asked us these questions, Gerard." He sighs with an eye roll.

"Okay, well, I'm just gonna get straight to it, then. Why was there some tension between you and Kristin when we were taking her home?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"You two were barely talking, rather, she was talking to me absolutely fine. Mikey, please, what happened?"

"I honestly don't know."

"And I don't believe you." Mikey glares daggers at me. "Okay then what was with you and Pete after you came out of the bathroom?"

"That's enough. Just leave it." Mikey zips up his bag rather forcefully then storms past me.

"I-I'm sorry, Mikey, I didn't know it was... touchy? Yeah." He stops in his tracks at the top of the staircase and sighs.

"I don't know, really. Honestly. I'd tell you if I knew. I will tell you. Whenever I figure out what's going on with my friends and fucking with my head." I nod in sympathy and follow him down the stairs, then we all head back out to go back to Lindsey's.

Mikey's usually quiet and keeps to himself when things are bothering him. No wonder he's been seeming different recently. It isn't really noticeable, but I'm his brother. I'm obviously going to notice. I hope he figures it out, whatever's bothering him. The car is quiet on the way over, not a word spoken or the radio on, nothing. Lights aluminate the house, the only one on the entire street, making it known that it's filled with conscious life. When Lindsey's dad lets us into their home and we make it downstairs to their finished basement, we're engulfed with uproar, the gang celebrating our arrival.

"Guys, chill, it's not like we're Billy Corgan and Marilyn Manson or anything, Jesus." Mikey calmly, but somewhat annoyed, states.

"Obviously I'd be Billy, though, if we were."

"Yes, Gee, oh my God you would! Your round baby face and nose and eyes and literally everything. You're secretly his spawn, I know it." Everybody erupts into a chorus of agreement.

"Okay, okay, okay, that's enough, really." I blush, wanting the topic to change.

"Gee's right, now that my band of brothers is here, we can watch movies. Or talk while a movie is playing in the background, more like." Lindsey perks up. I go sit in the corner of the comfy leather couch, everybody else on the floor.

"Let's watch Heathers!" Hayley says. Pete excitedly agrees. Everybody else, including me, just looks outright confused.

"Seriously, it takes an unexpected turn, you'll love it." Pete speaks to all of us. Some of the teenagers surrounding me hesitantly agree while others just shrug, me being one of the shrugs.

I feel my phone buzz in my sweatshirt pocket, so I take it out to reveal I have a text message.

Frankie: so I'm really fucking horny right now

Oh.

Me: yeah?

Frankie: it doesn't help that I'm thinking of you and your damn face with sweat glistening and your jaw slack with pleasure

Dammit, Frank, why now?

Me: you're getting a boner aren't you?

A few agonizing minutes pass as I'm watching the lower quality film of an 80s film waiting for a reply from my sexed up boyfriend.

Frankie: Shut up I can't get the image of you out of my head okay

FUCK you're so hot and you don't see it

Jesus, Frank.

Me: frankie...

Frankie: I really want to be inside you. you screaming my name while our skin slides together

Now I feel myself getting a problem of my own with the mental image and the memory of his feeling on me.

Me: maybe you'll get that feeling again soon enough

What am I partaking in?

Frankie: oh God yes please, Babe I need you so bad

I feel myself take a sharp intake of breath.

"Whatcha doin' over here?" Pete plops down next to me, trying to peer at my phone, which I move out of his curious eyes. I'm still upset at him.

"None of your business, Wentz." I grumble.

"Aw, you texting Frank or what?" Pete winks suggestively.

"Why the fuck do you care, Pete?" I exasperate. I feel my phone buzz to life once again.

"Stuff like this is my weakness, man!"

"Then learn to stop getting under other people's noses! I'm sick of you and everybody getting under my skin about every little thing Frank and I do!" I yell, which catches everybody's attention. I feel all their eyes staring at me, Brendon's specifically looking sympathetic. For some reason, tears start pricking my eyes and I get up immediately and go to the bathroom, locking myself away. I find myself dialing Frank's number, sniffling as a few lonesome tears fall down my rounded face. Frank answers immediately, his voice sounding rough and breathy.

"Babe? What is it?"

"I-I can't tolerate my friends right now. Or specifically Pete." I hear him mumble something under his breath, though I'm unable to make it out.

"He's an ass for doing what he did tonight." I let out a short, sharp laugh that emanates in the small half bathroom. Though I do agree with him, I remember why he texted me in the first place, and I decide to have fun. But a knocking on the door interrupts me.

"You okay in there?" It's Brendon. As much as I appreciate him checking in on me, I'd rather spend the time right now talking to Frank.

"I'm fine, thanks." I say nicely.

"You don't wanna talk or anything?"

"I would... but, I'm... kinda on the phone with my boyfriend right now." There's a short pause from Brendon's side, from the phone, I can faintly hear Frank saying "Fuck yeah he's on the phone with his boyfriend, who happens to be horny right now and isn't opposed to the idea of phone sex right now so please leave."

"Oh." I can hear the smile in Brendon's voice. "I'll just leave then. But talk to me later, okay? I do still want to get to know you more. I'm dead set on it."

"O-okay.." I smile sheepishly. The reason I stutter is because Frank is starting to whisper dirty things through the phone, just knowing what the impact will have on me. After I hear Brendon walk away, I put my cell phone fully back onto my ear.

"... and I'm going to massage your thighs roughly the way that drives you crazy while I'm fucking you so hard against the wall you'll be left limping for a week." Frank's rough and low voice fills my ears and sends reverberations through my entire frail frame.

"Yeah?" I breathe, chills running down my spine, which isn't being helped by the cool tile of the bathroom floor that I'm sitting on.

"Yeah." He answers in a quiet reply before I hear a faint moan.

"You can fuck me as hard as you want soon, Sugar." I purr, doing my best attempt at being seductive, not sure if it's working. But when I hear the sexually frustrated groan on the other end of the line, I know I succeeded. "You can consider it one of my Christmas presents to you." I add, which makes him groan yet again.

"Oh God, you better let me."

"You're irresistible Frank, there's no way I'm going to deny you, with your strong arms holding our sweaty bodies close together and moaning in my ear while I tug on that gorgeous long hair of yours. I know you love it when I do that."

"Mmm and when you wrap your legs around my waist. You're a piece of art, Gee. Your skin, fuck, it's so pale and unmarked and angelic it drives me nuts."

"Then mark my pale body up so everybody knows I belong to somebody." I smoothly speak.

"Oh, I'm there, baby." Frank hungrily replies.

"Are you touching yourself for me, Sugar?" A growl escapes from Frank's lips, the beautiful sound going straight to my hardening, well, you know.

"Ah, how'd you know?"

"I can hear your pants and shallow breathing through your words, Baby. Keep it up, yeah? Imagine it's me touching you. Run your fingers through your fucking gorgeous hair and imagine it's me. Imagine me begging for you. Imagine my lips on yours in a hungry kiss, my tongue exploring your mouth as I grope you. Unh..." I trail off as I've given in to my body's wants and start palming myself through my sweatpants. I let out a gasp at the touch as Frank's own moans are filled through my ears.

"Huh, you're touching yourself now, aren't you? Tsk, naughty schoolboy." Frank purrs. I mewl in reaction to his dark and lustful voice, scratchy from smoking cigarettes for probably half of his life.

"Mmph." Is the only thing I'm able to get out as my jaw falls slack.

"Grope yourself for me, sexy. Tease yourself. Fuck, I'm imagining what your face must look like right now. Oh fuck."

"F-fuck." I'm full on groping my erection now, my hands wrapped tightly around me, slowly starting to pump. "Oh God, I need you fucking me right fucking now, shit."

"Imagine it. Right now. I swear the next time we're alone together I will pin you against the wall you'll get bruises. I've never had lustful sex, you know that? I-I want it."

"P-please, oh, do that. I want that, too. I want you to do just that; pin me against a wall and pound so fucking hard into me, ravage me, sugar, bite my neck, kiss my lips so hard they bruise." My voice, as I progress with my words, goes from normal talking to a pained whisper of much desire. Frank lets out a lengthy, wavering moan.

"You and your fucking- skin tight jeans, fuck. Oh you don't know how much I love the anticipation of seeing you bec-because I, I always get a surprise as to what you're wearing o-on that beautiful body of y-yours, shit." My jacking off has started getting faster with a tighter grip by now, and I know for sure so has Frank's.

"A-and you don't know how much I love when you get to take my tight jeans off of me and you run your hands all o-over me. I-it drives me more insane t-than you think." I start to feel that as of recently familiar warm pooling in the pit of my stomach, and my hair standing on end.

"Oh, oh God." I hear Frank mumble before small quiet moans start spilling from his mouth. That just sends me even closer to the edge. But has he gone over?

"Come for me, Mr. Iero." I growl seductively. At that, I know I've done my job.

"Fuck." The other end of the line drawls out, louder than he has been talking, before I hear his breathing. He's trying to catch his breath, I know he's finished.

"It's your turn, now, lover." Frank says huskily into my ear. It almost feels like he's right here with me in Lindsey's bathroom. "Can you do that for me? Or do you need help?" Just the way Frank's talking gives me just what I need. I feel the warmth spread from my lower body all throughout me and my body, in some places, starts to uncontrollably twitch. It's a feeling like no other. And I must admit that I can't get enough of it. Maybe Frank and I should have sex more often. I moan out Frank's name at my release before feeling my body automatically relax. Luckily I managed to have "spilled" on the tile and not the rug, and maybe just a tad bit on my sweatshirt.

"So that was better than I thought these things were."

"Fuck yes that was." I reply. There's a comfortable silence for a short while after Frank had hummed at my agreement. "I kinda sorta want to see you tomorrow." Frank laughs giddily, making my stomach flutter.

"You were gonna see me for three or so days in a row starting Wednesday, Dove." I can feel the smile in his words.

"That's not soon enough." I shyly respond. I hear Frank sigh humorously.

"You're right."

"You know I'm right."

"And you know you're right."

"Fuck yeah I know I'm right." The both of us laugh.

"I love you." Butterflies swarm in my stomach.

"I love you, too." I reply, my words shy yet again, for some unknown reason.

"Want me to pick you up tomorrow?"

"I'm at Lindsey's house though."

"Though this may sound weird to other people, just text me her address, I'll get directions."

"Okay... come at three?"

"Will do." I smile at the thought of seeing Frank, even though I had slow danced with him only a few hours prior. "Oh, and Gee?"

"Yeah, Frankie?"

"That won't be the only time I'll be coming tomorrow."

-

After I clean my mess up and make myself semi presentable, I head out of the bathroom. I immediately notice Pete sitting awfully close to my younger brother, his arm around Mikey's waist. All eyes turn to me, Lindsey and Brendon with knowing eyes, while everybody else has sympathizing looks, except Pete. He just looks kind of numb and blank when he looks at me. Mikey looks at me and I look back at him, my eyes saying everything that's on my mind. Like, what the fuck is Pete doing, Mikey? What's going on? What about Kristin? You're gonna have a lot of explaining to do. I frown before heading back to my spot on the couch in the back of the room, but this time the couch isn't empty. Brendon is sitting on it.

"So how was your little 'chat' session with your boyfriend?" He winks at me, instantly making my cheeks flare bright red, though it's unnoticeable in the darkness of the room, the only source of light coming from the flatscreen tv.

"It was a first experience, thanks for wondering..." I mumble.

"Ah, yes. First experiences. They're always such a doozey. I remember when I first experienced phone se-" My eyes bulge out.

"You've done that before?" Brendon's face is amused.

"Yep. More than once... with Ryan." I smile. I just can't get over the fact he has a relationship with a teacher as well. What are the odds? Very fucking slim, they are. "Fun, isn't it?" I hesitate a bit before I shyly nod in agreement. Brendon's voice lowers to a very faint whisper. "Oh, and, I'm pretty sure Mikey and Pete have a thing." I look back over at them and now Mikey's head is resting on Pete's shoulder. "Maybe Mikey's having sexuality troubles? I could tell at the dance that he really does care about Kristin." Brendon continues. And as his words file out, the more I think about them. And the more I think about them, the more sense it makes. Mikey's struggling with himself. He's confused. He doesn't know what's going on with his feelings. That explains why he's so quiet and why he said some of the things he's said to me today!

"Oh my God, Brendon. You're right. How could I be so blind?" I exasperate. I feel his hand rub my upper back soothingly.

"Hey, don't fret about it. Just sit him down one day, sooner better than later, and question him about it. Perhaps your questions will lead to your guidance and help for him. No matter what, I think the outcome will be good." I sigh with relief and nod. I can't help myself, I launch my body full force at Brendon, tackling him in a hug.

"Thank you." I mumble in his shoulder. He hugs back and laughs.

"Of course, Gerard."

While some of the others fell asleep or stayed awake watching some more movies, Brendon and I still talk. We really want to get to know each other better. It turns out Brendon likes to sing. He promises he'll sing for me one day. Brendon also is really into Queen. They're his favorite band, and the sole reason why he taught himself how to play guitar when he was younger. Brendon's also bi, which I'm pretty fascinated about. I had questioned him so much about how he knows and what he feels and how it's like. It was pretty cool learning about, matter-of-factly. We've got a lot in common, actually. I can see a great friendship forming between Brendon and I. Once we find out almost all we can about one another, we let sleep overtake us at five in the morning.

 

-


	27. Make Me A Mess, Frank Iero

Frank's POV (a/n there's a reason this is here)

The phone call with Gerard that took a turn that I had not expected just ended. And, honestly, I'm pretty proud of my pun I made near the end of it. Because it's damn well true. I bet my body is going to be slightly buzzing with anticipation the whole time up to going to pick Gerard up tomorrow. At that point, high electricity will be jolting my insides. I haven't felt like this since I was a teenager going through puberty. And you know how stereotypical teenage boys are like. I decide to try to distract myself. Seeing that it's nearly one in the morning, and Daisy just jumped onto the bed to get my attention, I assume she wants to go out. So I use that excuse to get my mind off the hormones coursing through me and get out bed, throwing on my boots and my jacket from downstairs before putting the leash on my small dog. As soon as I open the back door, Daisy shoots out, but seeing that she's small, it isn't hard at all to restrain her. After a couple minutes, Daisy finally reliefs herself after sniffing around. I'm thankful once she's done, because the cold air is starting to bite through my clothes and seep into my bones.

I go to bed afterwards, because as soon I stepped back inside, fatigue overtook my body and my eyes became droopy. I curl into the warm covers of my bed, Daisy following suit and twirling into a ball near my feet. I wish her goodnight before sleep takes over. When I awaken, it's by my dog licking my face and sunlight shining right in my eyes. I sputter immediately when I realize that before gently pushing her away then laugh.

"Silly thing." I say to her as I scratch behind her ears. I wipe my wet face off on the comforter then climb out of bed. I pass by one of the clocks in my house (that used to be my parent's home) and notice that it's 11:30. Unsurprising, really. Seeing that I went to bed late and I was tired to begin with. I unplug my phone from its charger and turn it on before heading downstairs. We have a fenced backyard so I open the door and let Daisy out while I get her food and brew myself some morning coffee. After Daisy comes in I feel my phone buzz, notifying me.

Gee: get me at 3?

Me: sounds good Lvoe

Gee: lvoe?

Me: you know it's a typo dammit

Gee: hahaha well in that case I lvoe you

Me: I lvoe you too

I smile at the small inside joke we just now shared, sipping at my poured coffee before I realize I left it black. I hate black coffee. My whole body cringes and I let out a disgusted noise then head to the fridge to get my hazelnut creamer I got a couple weeks ago. Now what do I do for like three hours? I decide on working on some exam grading. That's done for an hour or two then I go to playing my guitar for the next hour. Luckily, the time passed by pretty quickly. Before I knew it, I had to get ready. But I noticed the time a little later than planned.

"Oh, shit!" I rush to set the creamy white guitar down before bounding upstairs to get changed out of my pajamas. I manage to get ready and pull on some plain black fingerless gloves before my leather jacket then boot my combat boots on. I grab my keys, heading out to the car in an attempt at rushing. The reason I say attempt is because the sidewalk froze a bit overnight and I was slipping a little. Luckily, I get to the car without falling on my ass. The drive to Lindsey's house wasn't as far as I thought, thankfully. It took maybe 20 minutes even though the Google maps originally said half an hour. So the fact that I left a little late meant nothing, because I still arrived on time. I send Gerard a text letting him know of my presence and now I wait. About 3 minutes later, Gerard is heading out the door with Brendon waving him off and laughing behind him. It looks like they grew really close. Even though, for some reason, I felt a pang of jealousy, I'm happy for him. Gerard only ever fully trusts a few people. He opens the back door and tosses his duffel bag in the backseat before turning and waving to the door of the house, where Lindsey and Brendon are. I wave as well when they notice me. Gerard happily plops into the passenger seat and immediately pulls my face to his, kissing me with more lust than I was expecting.

"Hi." He whispers on my mouth.

"Mm. Hi." I reply with happiness while Gerard turns and buckles his seatbelt. I start driving off back to my small abode.

"I missed you."

"I missed the fuck out of you too even though we saw each other like yesterday." I reply, to which Gerard giddily laughs. A comfortable silence then falls between us as we listen to the background noise of the radio.

"You know..." Gerard brings up after a few minutes, his hand finding its way to my thigh. "I didn't forget about last night."

"Hmm? What about last night?" I coolly reply as I squeeze his hand quickly.

"About what you wanted to do to me." My boyfriend seductively says, which honestly makes my dick twinge with anticipation. "You still up to that?" I go to reply something witty to pester with him, but I can't because he suddenly reaches me and palms me through my jeans. I immediately whimper at the contact.

"Fuck." I whisper. In turn, Gerard squeezes, making me squirm slightly in my seat. "Stop, babe, I'm trying to drive, we're almost there."

"What if I don't? What you gonna do to me, Iero?"

"You're going to get fucking punished, that's what." I hiss, trying to not let Gerard mess with my ability to drive. I really don't want to get in an accident just because my boyfriend is feeling me up. Thankfully, he removes his hand, but unthankfully, he moves it to lightly trail up my arm.

"You look so hot."

"And you're a horny, hormonal teenager. Chill."

"Need I remind you that you texted me last night saying how horny you were?" Well, shit, he's got me there.

"Shut up." I grumble. Gerard just giggles in success then settles in his seat for the rest of the ride to mine. But his mere movements had driven me crazy, and I can't get them out of my head. I'm sure he saw that I eventually had a full-on hard on, because I randomly heard him snigger, but I chose to ignore it. A few minutes later, I pull in a bit too fast into my driveway then park the car, turning off the ignition. I jump out of my seat and get to Gerard's side just as he's opening it and stepping out. I pull him out, making him shocked at my rushed behavior, then lock the car behind me, trailing Gee behind me up the pathway to the front door. I fumble to unlock it, but luckily, I do so relatively quickly then toss my keys on the door side table kick off my boots and jacket. Gerard is just pulling off his shoes before I tackle him in kisses and frisky grasps. I forcefully pin him against the door, hearing a loud thud and a moan from Gerard. I automatically go for sucking on Gerard's neck, just below his ear. The spot that drives him crazy.

"F-f-fu-uck..."

"I did say I was going to fuck you senseless against a wall, didn't I?" I say into Gerard's ear in a raspy voice. His higher, submissive voice groaned into my own ear.

"Y-yes."

"You still up for that, baby?" I growl, grinding my lower half harshly into Gerard.

"Oh God, please." He whines. I laugh, probably seductively in the opinion of the boy in my arms, before I run my hands down his body and squeeze his thighs, massaging them. I feel him growing in his pants, and feel my own pants growing tighter rather quickly as well.

"Make me a mess, Frank Iero." The boy begs. I need no more confirmation. I pound my lips on his, ignoring the slight pain from doing that and lift Gerard's legs to wrap around my waist. We both giggle between desperate kisses as I try to keep both our weights up while stumbling up the stairs. Thankfully I get us both up (literally in both meanings of the term) the stairs without any harm and into my smallish bedroom. I feel a pat on my shoulder, and guessing that Gerard wants me to put his legs down, I let go, and he does just that. His hands rake through my slightly greasy hair and his lips attach to my neck, sending jolts through my tiny body. A moan escapes my winter-chapped lips at the touch of his lips on my sensitive skin. I grip his hips yet again and he wraps his arms around my shoulders before pulling me back with him to my bed. The both of us plop down, sending some friction on our lower halves in the process. Gerard laughs airily before moving his arms from around my neck to rest above his head.

"God, I love this." Comes from his mouth while I lower my head to where it's hovering inches above his. "I love you." He adds in a mumble before crashing his more feminine lips onto mine. That action alone makes me weak and my body gives out underneath me, sending me falling the short inches between us onto his frame below me. Immediately, because of my body acting ahead of my brain, I start deeply grinding on Gerard, wanting more friction. His quiet mewl of satisfaction lets me know of his pleasure. His fingers start dancing delicately at the back hem of my shirt, before they sprawl out on my lower back as he deepens our make out session. Before I'm aware of it, he's lifting my shirt over my head. Not wanting to miss the feel of his lips on my own, I quickly lift myself up and remove my shirt. I go to lower back down onto my boyfriend, but once my vision is clear again from the shirt being over my head, I am met with Gerard's dark gaze pelting into mine.

"You did say you were going to fuck me against a wall, right?" He whispers.

"Uh, y-yes. Yes I did."

"Then why don't you keep with your word?" Gerard says with lust in his droopy, hazel eyes. I collide my lips with his and reach under him to grasp tightly onto the back of his upper thighs. After struggling for a little bit, I get off the bed with Gerard still in my arms. Our muffled moans fill the quiet house. Actually, I wonder where Daisy even goes when the two of us get physical. It's like she wipes off the face of the earth. She probably snuggles in the corner of the couch, something she likes to do to hide and be alone. But nevermind that, Gerard is clawing up my shoulders. I once again today, pin Gerard between myself and a wall. He giggles.

"I'm more excited than I expected to be for this." He manages to get out between sloppy kisses. I hum in agreement before moving back down to his soft jawline and neck. Delicately, I move one of my hands to lightly trail under him, leaving shivers over his skin. His reaction is just what I wanted, so it only leads me on. I continue trailing underneath him until I find my destination. I skim over the location where his balls are. And I know I've succeeded when he automatically bucks his hips into me and a shaky moan escapes his lips.

"Fuck. Fucking take me already instead of teasing me." Gerard breathes out, his voice shaking. I start to chuckle but get caught off guard when one of Gerard's hands quickly moves to my ass and massages it roughly.

"I'm losing my patience, Mr. Iero." He says gruffly into my ear. That does it for me. No more teasing.

"Oh God." I set Gerard's legs down automatically and rip his shirt over his head, nipping at his now visible collar bone. Gerard's hands fumble with the button of my jeans then I hear the zipper being undone. I take over from there and quickly remove them, tossing them aside somewhere. I do the same to Gerard, but he wearing skinny jeans makes it more difficult, as usual. He ends up helping me out. We're finally both fully unclothed. The both of us are breathing heavily as we just take each other in sight-wise. Slowly, Gerard wraps his hand around himself, keeping his piercing eyes on me the entire time, before slowly pumping. The whole time I was watching his movements, flickering between his gaze and what he was doing to himself. I let out a shaky breath.

"Well, come on then." Gerard says, the way him saying it driving my mind up a wall. Much like I'll be doing to him, actually. I watch as he backs up one or two steps so his back is on the wall and as his legs spread somewhat, finishing off with him resting his head back on the wall, closing his eyes with his neck openly exposed to me. After a few more moments of me appreciating him, I metaphorically attack him. I press him up even more onto the wall and immediately grab his wrists and pin them above his head loosely. Then I move my hands to roughly massage the sides of his upper thighs.

"I'm gonna love you good, Gee." I mumble into his neck, where I was yet again pelting with kisses. He moans in reply. His arms that he had kept up above his head immediately draped down onto my shoulders. (a/n I got 'gonna love you good' from a Marmozets song bless them they're so great)

"D-do it already." He breathes. Forcefully he grabs my chin and lifts my face before crashing our lips sloppily together. The both of us feel how I'm poking into his entrance, but one thought pops into my head that I hadn't thought of before. Condoms. Lube. "I don't care about a damn condom, I'm clean, you'd have told me already if you weren't, just come on." He says, as if he read my mind.

"L-lube?" Gerard sighs in frustration before suddenly spitting into one of his hands and wrapping it around me, all in one quick motion. I nearly drop him at the impact.

"Spit works, stupid." He laughs. I laugh in return then decide to get some spit of my own and replace Gerard's hand with my own. In a flash, I'm covered. Gerard's biting at my neck now, which is obviously driving me crazy. "Come on, make me beg, sugar." Gerard purrs into my ear before nipping at the earlobe. I instinctively buck my hips at the pleasurable sound. In turn, that occurrence pushed me a little into Gerard. His grip tightens on me as a pained, but happy sound escapes him.

Instinct takes over as I push myself the rest of the way in. The warm and tight feeling that's suddenly around me is everything I needed. My eyes roll into the back of my skull and my jaw goes slack. A shaky moan releases from my mouth and I start to make movements.

Already, my thrusts are sloppy. Already, my legs are shaking. Already, I feel a pooling in the pit of my stomach. That just shows what the boy against me does to me.

"F-fuck, Frankie. Oh. Oh God. Shit." Our bodies have no gapes between them, therefore he's getting friction just as he needs it. Gerard's arms are holding me tighter than I ever thought possible. I'm for sure going to have bruises and scratches. Traces of what forbidden, not-to-be-talked-about thing we're committing ourselves in. One of his graceful hands tangles into my hair and pulls roughly. I moan out loudly from the turn on. I'm vaguely aware of my rapid thrusting and heavy movements. Gerard is overtaking my thought process. He pulls my head, once again roughly, away from the crook of his neck to stare at me. No doubt Gerard felt my movements falter. I couldn't help it. The sight before me is my weakness. Gerard's growing black hair is already sticking onto his face, which is red and flushed. His eyes are half-lidded and there's a small smirk of pleasure adorning his lips.

"Beautiful." I gasp out. His smile widens as he closes his eyes and squeezes them, his facial structure scrunching up then relaxing. Gerard's thighs tighten around my sides. I place my forehead on his, our short breaths intermingling.

"Go harder, babe." Gerard practically growls before teasingly biting my lower lip.

"Mmh." I smirk. Gerard in turn, claws down my back, leaving shivers to grace my body. "Fuck." Immediately I start thrusting harder and faster upwards into Gerard. I even feel him move slightly up the wall.

"Oh! R-right there!" He nearly screams in a porn star-like moan. Once again my hands dig violently in the pasty white porcelain of Gerard's thighs as I find my strength to continue hitting him right in that spot. Gerard starts writhing and moaning constantly.

"Ah. Oh. Oh my G- uh." I continue snapping my hips, pulling in and out, going even more animalistic now, my body finding it hard to keep control. I crash my lips onto Gerard's and automatically invade his mouth, exploring the still remaining taste of the coffee he must have had today. Our tongues intermingle, not far off from how our lower halves are.

Gerard rolls his hips in time with me now, creating an even more pleasurable sensation for the two of us. Knowing Gerard is able to keep himself up, I remove one my hands from his side, noticing a mark from where it was, and wrap it around him between us, and I start pumping rather quickly. I moan when Gerard licks up my jawline before finishing it off with nipping at it. The warm feeling gets stronger than ever now, and I feel myself quiver and twitch as I reach my high and release. His reaction to my release, though, it what gets me. He's not felt it like so before. He lets out a loud groan after a gasp of surprise before placing his lips onto mine, kissing the life out of me. I still pump Gerard, though my thrusting motions have stopped. And very shortly after I come, Gerard does. To hold his uncontrollable, orgasming body in my own is a new experience, one that I want to have again. I let Gerard catch his breathing up before I pull out and set him down.

"I'm definitely not going to be able to walk." Gerard croaks out. We share a small laugh before he begins to walk to the bed. He takes a few steps then stops. "Yeah, no."

"You really can't walk?"

"There is a constant, throbbing pain coming from my anus. It hurts like fuck." He takes a moment to think about how he worded that. "Literally." He giggles. I roll my eyes before quickly turning and scooping him up in my arms and plopping down onto the messy bed with him. I plant his face with tons of kisses before ending with one, delicate one I place on his swollen lips. The whole time I was doing so, Gerard was filling my ears with his beautiful, youthful giggle.

"Let's hope you can walk fine by tomorrow. Or that family of yours is going to be suspicious as fuck." I chuckle. Gerard playfully slaps my arm before turning over onto his side and getting under the covers. "Gee, it's like, five."

"You tore me the fuck apart, I deserve sleep." He groggily replies. Agreeing with him, I get under the covers, too and snuggle up behind the boy who stole my heart.

"For rough sex, our post sex behavior is pretty sappy." I mumble, kissing the back of his head.

"Because we're a sappy couple, dummy."

-


	28. Christmas Eve Part 1

Gerard's POV

"And the boy lives." Are the first words I hear when I step into my home.

"Are you talking about me...?" I question. I hear the chuckle of my mother from the kitchen, where she was getting herself lunch.

"Yes, you."

"Why? I mean, of course I'm alive... and confused."

"Ah, don't fret over it, sweetie. You're just with your boyfriend a lot, is all. So, you know, if you're not home, how do I know if you manage to live without my heavenly presence I know you love?" I roll my eyes with a laugh.

"Oh my God, Mom." I sneak a couple chips from her plate when she turns her back to me.

"I hear you crunching on my chips back there, boy." I cackle at that remark before going up behind where she was at the cupboard looking for God knows what and hug her from behind, resting my head on her shoulder.

"I love you." I randomly state.

"Don't melt my heart, kid." She replies, love obviously lacing her words. I smile then kiss her cheek. I miss my mom. I can tell how stressed she's been with everything that's happened since Dad. I can see it in her now tired eyes and how she sometimes zones out when the three of us eat dinner. I need to get a job. I want to help out. I'm almost 18, I should have a job. Why don't I? My thoughts are broken off from Mom, though.

"Applied to any more colleges recently?" Before the school year started, my mom sat me down and said to me that we were going to apply me to at least three colleges, which we ended up doing. Since then, I've maybe applied to another two. None of them feel right, though. I'm searching, but nothing enraptures me. When I haven't been with Frank, doing homework, or drawing or things of the sort, that's what I did. Searched for colleges. It's a process I really don't like and it's scary.

"Not since November, Mom."

"Well, remember the latest deadline is February. You already got acceptance letters to some." I sigh out loud. "Honey, I know it's difficult. And boy do I know that you feel you haven't found the place for you. But I know you will." She removes herself from arms after lifting one of my hands and kissing it. "Grandma's coming Wednesday and staying until Saturday, by the way."

The mere mention of my grandmother has me smiling from ear to ear.

"She can stay for four days instead of three now?!" I exclaim. Donna laughs at my excitement over just another day with the beloved figure in my life.

"Yep. Her caretaker whose family lives in this area recently changed her stay so Grandma was allowed as well."

"That's amazing!"

"Yes it is. Now go wrap your presents. I know you haven't done it yet." I groan in frustration because she's right. I totally forgot about it.

"UGH I completely forgot." Sighing, I leave the kitchen with my mom's smug look watching me as I head upstairs to my room, where all the presents I had gotten were under my bed: some new comics and the shirt I got at Hot Topic for Mikey, a gift card to a local tattoo parlor for Frank that he's mentioned a few times along with some other things (I want to get him some roses, but I'll wait to get them on Christmas Eve just before he arrives. I want them to be as fresh as possible and it'd be difficult to sneak out and get them when he's sleeping.) For my mom, she can be pretty difficult to shop for. She's been through so much shit for the past, nearly, half year. My mom deserves something perfect. I still wasn't able to find anything for her. At that thought, I decided to head to the mall. Even though it would most likely be beyond crowded with last minute shoppers.

"Mom, I'm heading out! I'll be back by dinner time at the latest, I promise." I shout before leaving the house, not hearing my mother's reply. The whole time to my destination, which was around 20 or 30 minutes because of traffic and bad weather, my mind was processing what on earth I could get her. When I arrived, it took maybe 10 minutes just to find a parking space! Yep, the mall was definitely packed.

I have been in nearly every single store that would even remotely have something interesting and thoughtful for gifts for moms. My mood has gotten grouchier and grouchier as the day has progressed. It's been three fucking hours dealing with trying to find something, rude and tired store workers, and equally rude and tired shoppers pushing past me and making me feel more claustrophobic than I usually am. My anxiety is kicking in over not being able to find something. I sigh, letting defeat take over as I turn to walk to the entrance that I came through when a small kiosk catches my attention. It looks like a jewelry kiosk, maybe even a local homemade company that's just starting out. When I walk over to it, I notice a variety of bracelets, earrings, rings and necklaces, and even cuff links for men's dress shirts. My eyes wander over the display. It's all very unique and honestly, very appealing. The girl I notice that's working has a little table of jewelry in the process of being made. So she does hand make them. That's amazing! Once she notices me looking around she comes up to me.

"Hi! I'm Rhonda, um, is there anything in particular that you're looking for?" Her youthful smile brightens my slowly worsening day immediately. I smile back shyly.

"Uh, my-my mom. I wanted to find something that was perfect in my eyes and I still have had no success..." I trail off at the end.

"Okay, anything in particular do you think?" I think hard for a second, my thoughts probably evident on my face.

"Ummmmm do you have anything that's, man, I don't know how to word it, family... oriented? I dunno... that shows she's my mom?" She nods as she thinks of what she's got in her inventory.

"Okay... I think I can help! So, come over to this side." She gestures to the other side, so I walk around and see a range of sweet, meaningful pieces that show the beauty of motherhood. "Are you think a bracelet or a necklace...?"

"A necklace." My mom has always liked necklaces and has recently been looking for a new one, but never found one she wanted enough to buy.

"These are the necklaces we've got." Rhonda gestures to my right, where there are a few small stands with necklaces. I scan over them, seeing a few that I like, when I see it. I see the one that's perfect.

"This one." I lift it slightly to show her and she nods excitedly.

"Ah. I guess you have a sibling, then?"

"A younger brother."

"Then I think this is perfect." The necklace is on a simple silver chain. The design is an equally simple silhouette of a tree branch with a bigger bird right next to two smaller birds on it. Representing my mother, Mikey, and myself. "Would you like me to wrap it? There's no extra charge."

"Then yes please." The total cost ended up being $90. Which is a bit out of my price range, but I don't care. This is just what I've been looking for. It's nearing 7 pm when I get back home.

"Where've you been?" Mikey asks from the couch as soon as I get home, accentuating the 'you'.

"Last minute Christmas shopping." I reply.

"Of course you were." Mikey says with a laugh. "Nightmare Before Christmas is on tv in a few minutes. You got home just in time."

"Sweet! I'm gonna get food, though. I'm hungry." When I walk into the kitchen, Mom had a plate filled with green beans, corn, and a baked potato set out for me with a sticky note on it: you may have to heat it up. Love you –Mom

I smile at her small gesture and do just that. When I go back into the family room, Mom is accompanying Mikey on the couch, and I join them, the movie just starting.

"Thanks, Mom." I kiss her cheek and settle in the enjoy one of my favorite movies and the delicious dinner in front of me.

-

It's finally Wednesday and finally the day that my amazing grandma is coming to visit. Though Frank was planning on also coming over, I had woken to a text from him saying that he'd have to come on Thursday near noon. There was, according to him, last minute business he had to take care of. I didn't question him about it. I'm awake before everybody just from sheer excitement. I immediately go and start the coffee kettle. Once I get the toaster out, I get some brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts from our pantry and let them toast. After both my coffee and pop tarts are ready, I grab both and go to the family room, seeing what Christmas-related thing ABC Family has on now. As soon as I settle in, Mom finds her way downstairs, smiling at me as soon as she sees me.

"The smell of coffee woke me."

"You sound like me, Mom." I chuckle while she disappears from my view into the kitchen. "When's Grandma getting here?" I hear her laugh.

"Around noon or so, honey." I knew that'd be one of the first things you'd bring up to me.

"Shocking." I reply, getting enveloped in the storyline one of the happier Harry Potter movies from its beginning years.

"Gerard, can you clean the sink and mirror in our bathroom down here? I forgot to ask you yesterday." I hum that I'll do so. "Before your grandmother arrives, please." She sighs with amusement. So, after I finish my breakfast, I do what my mom asked of me. It takes maybe 20 minutes, at most. Then, feeling sticky from the small ounce of sweat I gained doing that, plus not having showered for a couple days, I go clean myself up. By the time I'm back downstairs, changed into a red and black striped baggy sweater and black skinny jeans, it's nearing 11. Mikey stumbles in from awaking from his, what I presume, deep slumber.

"Michael! Go shower after you eat something, okay? Elena is expected to be here soon. And I know how long you take in showers." Mikey was nearing protest, but when my mom mentions the last bit, his face turns red and he shyly walks into the kitchen without a word, making me laugh out loud.

"Shut up, Gerard!"

"Nah, you really do take forever in the shower, okay, your reaction to Mom was priceless let me relish in the moment." I gasp out. Mikey huffs as he comes back into the room and plops down, angrily munching on a muffin. He goes up to shower as soon as he finishes.

"Oh! Mom, Frank-" I stop suddenly, having almost called him Frankie, "can't arrive until tomorrow. 'Last minute' stuff he apparently has to do." I roll my eyes with a smile.

"Alright, sweetie. Let me see a picture of you two again?" Embarrassed, I take my phone and turn it on so the lock screen showed a candid shot the Frank had gotten me in. It's really cute, honestly. He had sneakily stolen my phone while I was too busy paying attention to the episode of Game of Thrones that was on. My head was snuggled up on his shoulder. The memory still makes my face flush. He had gotten my attention by randomly stating, "You're cute." I obviously looked up, a slightly flustered smile on my face when I noticed our faces staring back at me, right as Frank snapped the shot.

"Oh honey he looks so in love with you." I felt chills run through my upper body.

"R-really?" I know he does, but I guess hearing this from others is a reassurance, or something.

"He was obviously looking at you when he took the photo. He obviously admires you, putting you first and everything. Gee, I cannot wait to meet this boy. Just seeing photos of you two, I can see this still budding young love. I just wanna see that in person. Oh, my boy is in love!" It's as if the fact was suddenly hitting her full force. She knows of our relationship, seen photos before, but it's like this whole thing was suddenly dawning on her.

"Do you love him?" The random question took me by surprise for some reason.

"I- of course I do. More than anything." Except that's the first time I started feeling doubt in my words. Did I love him? I had to! He makes me feel safe and I love being around him, the feeling he gives me warms my heart and makes me smile. But so does Bert, in a smaller way. Right now, Bert was like that friendship kind of love, but a tad bit more. He sometimes, not all the time, gave me butterflies. None of my other friends gave me that feeling.

-

An hour passed before I knew it when the doorbell rang at 12:30. Elena! I reached the door before anybody else did, unsurprisingly, and was greeted with a very pretty, petite, lighter toned black girl, her shorter curls tied up into a bouncy ponytail.

"Hi! Oh, you've gotta be Gerard. Believe me, I've heard loads about you. Help me with Elena?" She gestured to the specially-made handicap van with which my grandma currently sat in her wheelchair.

"Sweetie your hair has already grown back to its usual length!" Of course that's the first thing she'd say to me; she's always said my hair grows fast. I laugh whole heartedly before giving her a tight hug, then proceeding to help Elena's assistant. Five minutes later, we're wheeling Grandma into the living room and helping her sit on the couch. I had mentioned that she's handicapped, but only to a certain level. She can walk very short distances, and can sleep normally in a bed like most do, but otherwise, she's got a wheelchair to conveniently help her out. Mom and Mikey had gathered and all of us were now talking away, Rhonda, Grandma's assistant, giving us her information for whenever we may need to contact her, as well as the different prescriptions and dosages that Elena needs to take to help her blood flow.

The rest of the day passed in a breeze. We had all enjoyed dinner, every single one of us helping in one way or another. And it was the first time in a couple months that I genuinely felt like a family. I know Mom and Mikey felt the same. Mom got this glow on her as soon as her mother arrived and it hasn't died off since. Mikey's been much more talkative. We haven't felt like this since before Dad... you know. I don't know if Dad has communicated with Mom at all. She hasn't brought anything up and I haven't heard anything from the man. The brief thought of him haunts me, and I shake it off, not wanting that to plague my mind at such a happy time. We all stayed up watching holiday classics until midnight, when we all decided to sleep. I was so caught up being among my family that I not once paid attention to my phone. So when I went to plug it into its charger and noticed a fair amount of various texts from Brendon, Frank, Andy, and even Bert, I was shocked. After I replied to them all with apologies to having just now read them, I turned off my phone as to not be disturbed the rest of night, and fell asleep, ever so happy.

-

December 24th.

Christmas Eve.

The day Frank is meeting the two most important women in my life. All of a sudden the nerves hit me full force. I was awoken by Mikey coming in, saying that Mom wanted us to bring down our presents and put them under the tree, something Rhonda did to Elena's presents after we got her into our cozy home. I usually would get up against my will, but since Frank is wiring through my brain right now, I'm wide awake. I grab my presents, excluding one that I decided was private between Frank and I, and counted through them.

Shit!

No, no no no, this can't be happening! Fuck!

I couldn't have forgotten a present for my grandma!

God, everything was going so perfectly! I should have known something would go wrong! Put into a state of madness, I change my clothes and go downstairs, putting what presents I had in their proper location before saying a quick hello to everybody, then going to head out.

"Gerard where are you going?"

"I have to get something!" Remembering the roses I intended to get for my boyfriend. Could I find a little something for my grandmother? I arrive at a cute little shop a few minutes later and search around. It's the only place that's open other than a grocery store and gas stations. Before getting the flowers, I do a quick run-through of the shop. Damn it! There's nothing here! I'm awful and pathetic! How could I forget my grandmother?! God, Gerard, you can never do anything right! Before tears can flow down my face I get the flowers and a little customized card and write something that I thought to be romantically cheesy, something I know Frank would adore: 'To the flower who healed my thorn pricks'

Get it? Because a rose is a type of flower and it has thorns on its stem? Ah, I'm great.

But anyways, I don't have a damn present for my grandmother. I feel awful and as I drive home, it doesn't leave my mind. When I get home, flowers in hand, I must look worried, because my grandmother notices it immediately. After I go put the flowers in a vase and put them in a place where Frank wouldn't find them, I go back to the family room, where Elena is currently reading.

"I know something is on your mind, sweetie." I chuckle, my eyes watering.

"Ah, it-it's nothing." I'm for sure going to tell her, just not right now. Luckily I get an excuse not to from my phone ringing.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Dove, I'm just walking out of my house now. I'll be there in ten minutes, yeah?"

Shit, Frank's coming over! Oh man, oh man, oh man, I gotta make myself look more presentable. Wait, since when did I really care about that? No matter, a smile still creeps its way onto my face, and I'm positive I'm blushing, because Elena is giving me a knowing look.

"Y-yeah." I mumble.

"Cool! See you soon."

"See you." Before anything happens in the conversation that would embarrass me, I hang up.

"That was the boy I'm going to be meeting soon, wasn't it?" The voice of Elena fills the quiet air of the room. I only nod sheepishly, ignoring the smile on her face as I get up and head into my bedroom. Once I get there, I search through the closet of my now clean room (because my mom made us do that, you know, the typical). I find one of my favorite pairs of jeans, which isn't too tight but not too baggy either, and put them on, then find a navy blue sweater. I head into the bathroom and brush through my hair, making it neat, finally satisfied with my appearance.

"Have fun trying to make up how you two met and all that shit." Mikey says as he passes the bathroom, taking me by surprise.

"We've got it, Mikey, don't be a downer."

Before Mikey can reply, I hear the sound of a car door being shut and rush downstairs, looking out the window by the door, to see Frank's car parked on the side of the road and him reaching into the open trunk of his older black vehicle. I slip on some shoes and go outside to help him get his stuff. It turns out he even brought some food for our meal today. As soon as I get to him, he turns to me and strokes my face before kissing me delicately, making butterflies swarm in my insides.

"I hope this works out."

"I hope so, too." I can hear the nerves in both of our voices.

"Can you please get the food I brought from the passenger seat?" I nod and pat his rosy cheek from the cold and fetch the food, the warmth and smell overtaking me.

"Man, what is this?" I ask with excitement, my stomach growling. He chuckles adorably.

"Corn casserole. A family recipe. I'm surprised I was able to make it. It was the first time I tried to. My mom and her mom were always the ones who made the dish." The mention of his family got me wondering.

"Why aren't you spending the holidays with them?" I ask quietly, earning a sigh from him.

"They- well, I guess you could say I've been having a falling out with them. It started a couple years ago. I talk to my grandparents more than my parents. I'm just lucky they're still helping with paying off the damn house they let me have when they moved into a big upper-class one with all their income, being doctors and all."

"I shouldn't have asked, I'm sorry." Frank nudges my side as we walk up the pathway to my home.

"Don't worry about it. I've got you. ... and Daisy." I laugh, blushing.

"Where is she, anyways?"

"You know how I said that I had last minute business to take care of? It was to find somebody to watch over her. Evan, the other guitarist in my band, is. His family accept me as one of their own, so they gladly wanted to take care of her for a few days." We step from the cold into the warmth of my house.

"Mom, Grandma? Frank's here."

-


	29. Christmas Eve Part 2

Gerard's POV

My heart is beating much more rampantly than I thought it would. I mean, it makes sense, though, now that I process it. I'm in the split seconds nearing the moment when I introduce my first ever boyfriend that I've had, and not to mention, my fucking teacher. We're gonna have to keep a façade up, and keep it up well. My nerves are pounding as Frank sets his stuff down where he is behind me, removing his coat and setting it on top of his small duffel, before I feel him rub my back soothingly with one hand.

"Um, let's go put this in the kitchen." I rush out with stumbles, gesturing to the home-cooked food in my hand. Though I seem to be stuck in place, not knowing exactly how to move my seemingly cemented feet. Frank's tender push on the small of my back helped motion run through my body, thankfully.

"Let me get this, I'm afraid you'll drop it or something." Frank chuckles as he reaches his inked hand, the one that wasn't still placed on my back, and takes the warm, green food dish from my hands, that I just now noticed were shaking ever so slightly. "Just breathe, Gerard, it'll be fine." Frank whispers in my ear before planting an ever so gentle and loving kiss on my cheek, instantly making me forget all my petty worries, the sensation where his lips just were not a moment ago still lingering on my fair complexion.

The way my lover, if you could call the man that, appears so calm absolutely befuddles me. My heart wants to rip right out of my rib cage and leave me dead on the ground from the copious amount of nervous energy running through my body.

"Uh, Mom..." I clear my throat nervously, stepping into the kitchen from walking down the hallway, "h- um, th-this is, F-Frank." I attempt to speak, but I stumble over my words numerous times. Mom's been in the kitchen for the past hour, having started the dishes for our Christmas Eve "feast". Ever since she started, Mikey and I have been in and out as we went, helping her with small things she needed done, like peeling the skin off potatoes, dicing onions, and preparing some corn. Without leaving my eyes from my mother, I reach over, almost robotically, and grab the dish Frank brought, extending it to her direction. "H-he made, some.. um... uh-"

"It's, uh, green bean casserole. Hi. I'm Frank.. Iero! As I'm sure you know." Frank smiles warmly at my mom and extends his hand in a friendly, welcoming gesture. This is it. This is the moment. I may piss my pants I'm that nervous.

"Oh, honey, none of that formal shit, give me a hug." Relief overcomes me and I feel I'm just now letting out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I watch my mother wrap Frank in a tight, motherly grasp, and honestly, it looks as if he melts into the hug before squeezing her back with just as much force. "My name's Donna, no need to be calling me Mrs. Way." My mom chuckles to lighten the air before gently patting Frank's cheek a couple of quick times. "I'll leave the cheek patting for Gee now, alright?" My mom turns and winks at me, the smile having never left her face, before she continues to go back to cooking the chicken she had been working on. As she did that, I had nearly dropped the food I was still holding, and Frank had to grasp one side of it hurriedly before it went crashing to the tile floor. "And thank you, darling, for the dish! It sounds delicious. Gerard can you please just set it on the counter? I'm sure it'll have to be reheated later, so I'll pop in the oven for a bit." In a daze, I do as she asks me, ignoring Frank's amused and adoring look he's giving me, instead shooting Mikey a warning look to not give anything away as he joins us in the kitchen, which he rolls his eyes in reply to. Him and Frank exchange hellos and warm smiles, and suddenly, I feel like everything will be okay. "Oh, Frank, you've met Mikey, right? Gerard's younger brother?" Both I and Mikey turn crimson in result.

"Yes, Mom, we've met. Remember when we all went out and Gerard actually joined us for once? Frank was there." Mikey sighs out while our mom nods in understanding.

"Ah, so is that how you two boys met, then? I could never pry it out of Gerard. The reason I even found out the sweet thing finally met someone was because Mikey here is the one that never shuts his mouth." Donna speaks in a joking, but loving manner while Frank looks back at me questioningly. Is this what we're going to base how we met off of?

"Well, we actually met at a comic book store maybe a week into August, and that's how we got to know each other really, rambling about our personal favorites and stuff, and that branched into things like music and hobbies we have. And um, I don't know if he's ever brought this up at all, I'm in a band, and yeah, we had a little gig the one night and I asked Gerard if he wanted to come see us at all, and he mentioned his friends usually went and that he occasionally joined them. So that night after the set was over I found him and met his friends." Frank smiled warmly, and the semi lie was highly convincing. The two of us do adore comics, and have our own mini collections, so of course it's likely that we'd come across each other at a local shop. When he looks over to me for approval, I mouth a 'perfect' and walk the few steps over to him to join his side, leaving me between him and my brother. He instantly wraps his arm around my waist and delicately pulls my body into his, as if I was a fragile ancient artifact that would crumble to pieces if he wasn't too careful. My face warms up at the thought, and I smile to myself as I look down at my feet, suddenly shy. The look on my mom's face, though, is hard to decipher. I can't tell what's going through her wise head. She smiles sweetly at the two of us, nonetheless.

"Well, I'm not surprised you met him a comic store, sweetie." Mom speaks to me. "You found yourself a looker, hon, those are rare in comic stores." She shuffles my hair teasingly, making my face flush even more while Mikey and Frank laugh at her statement, though Frank's cheeks are grazed with pink. "Oh, Frank, is chicken for dinner okay with you?" At that question, Frank hides a smile by biting his lips in between his teeth before letting out a tiny chuckle.

"I forgot to even mention this, but I'm actually a vegetarian. It's totally okay, though, you all can eat it, don't let the fact that I don't stop you from eating what you want. Plus from the looks of it the side dishes will be enough for me to last. Please don't worry about it!" Frank smiles warmly.

"I didn't know you were a vegetarian!" I gasp out, staring at him, earning another laugh from him before I feel him squeeze me.

"Have you ever seen me eat meat the whole five months you've known me?" I immediately blush, recognizing that he's right. I've not once seen him eat meat.

"Shut up." I mumble as I put my face in the crook of his neck, him soothingly rubbing my back.

"There's also desert." Mikey adds out of the blue, making Frank agree excitedly.

"Yeah! Gotta save room for desert. Always." We all share a laugh at Frank's highly accurate statement.

"Bless you, Frank. You're such a sweetheart. No wonder Gerard always gets flustered when you're brought up in conversation." Donna replies as she turns to continue working on the chicken meal she's been making. Frank blushes before turning his head to gaze at me, where I was still resting on his shoulder.

"Well, want to go meet our grandmother?" Mikey pipes up, directed at the boyfriend whose arms I am still in. The mention of Elena starts up my anxiety at full speed. I nearly forgot about the lovely human who has graced my life. Then again, she's currently minding her own business doing holiday-themed crosswords in the family room with the tv on for background noise. I gulp nervously and hug Frank closer.

"Welp, it'll happen sooner or later, so let's go introduce you to Elena." I finally speak up, starting to walk. Frank catches my hand and squeezes it tightly for reassurance before whispering in my ear.

"I should be more nervous right now than you. I am meeting the high and mighty Grandma Elena, at last, after all." The sentence makes me chuckle, instantly calming me.

"Grandma?" I call as we approach the family room where she was currently residing on the couch.

"Can I finally meet this boy? I've been overhearing the entire time." She replies in her smooth and loving voice.

"U-um. Yes, Grandma, t-this is Fr-Frank. And Frank, this is my amazing grandmother Elena." Immediately after, my grandmother smiles warmer than I've ever seen her smile.

"Come here, honey." Elena pats the spot next to her on the couch, gesturing for Frank to sit next to her. After looking between her and I, Frank hesitantly lets go of my hand and goes around the small coffee table to join her.

"So, how old are you?" Dammit, I knew she would interrogate him. All in good well being, though. One, Elena is looking out for me, and two, she likes to have her fun. And right now that seems to be trying to intimidate my boyfriend.

"I- um, turned... twenty three... at the end of October." Frank's eyes honestly look very afraid right now, probably hoping with all his might that her reaction won't be negative. She merely nods slowly without saying a word. The look on her face unreadable.

"And what are you doing for a living, then? If you're not in college still." Elena looks back to him, her own eyes warm and curious.

"... I play music actually. The lead singer and guitarist for a band... We're working on an album. Though as of now we're only signed to a small local record company." Elena once again nods her head slowly at his words. I smile warmly at Frank when he shoots his worrying gaze to me. What he told her what his career was, wasn't even a lie. Just... avoiding certain truths.

"How's that going for you?"

"Well, actually. We're getting more recognition and more requests to play shows rather than having to search for places to book ourselves. Agents from better, very successful labels are seeking us out. I really feel us getting somewhere." Frank's smile after he finished was so joyous. He genuinely looks incredibly proud of his bandmates and himself. His eyes glint with a million happy stars. My heart skips a beat admiring him where I was still standing before he left my side to sit. So, at that notion, I walk over and sit on the opposite side of Frank before moving my hand to his interlocked ones and replacing one with my own. When I pull my gaze away from our hands, Frank's thumb stroking mine, my eyes are met with his. Taken aback, my eyelids flutter a few times. While I faltered, Frank's stayed unperturbed.

"What?" I ask, a small smile tugging on the right side of my mouth while my eyes flicker back and forth between his. Frank only smiles gently.

"I love you." Once again, Frank doesn't fail to fluster me. Not able to form any words, I do what my brain only seems to be able to think of right now, and lean in and kiss Frank delicately on his heartwarming lips. He hums contentedly against me before I pull away from the short peck, smiling at him shyly.

"You two are already melting my insides and the boy has only been here, what, twenty minutes?" Elena breaks the silence. The both of us turn our attention to my grandmother to see one of her delicate hands placed over her heart.

"Grandma, please! Don't, you're gonna embarrass me."

"Honey, I'm set to embarrass you as much as my heart's content in doing so." She chuckles lovingly at my already, well, embarrassed state.

"Anyways, Frank, dear, at the sound of how your band is doing, I'm very happy for you. I hope things continue going well. I'll have Gerard show me some of your songs one day. Soon hopefully."

"That'd be great! I'm sure he's got copies of the songs we have released."

"I do." I interrupt. In reaction, Frank lets go of my hand and rubs my lower thigh, near my knee.

"Are those tattoos, honey?" My grandmother pipes up. Frank raises his hand from my knee to look at it before chuckling briefly.

"Um, yes, actually. I- um, have-"

"You have a lot don't you?"

"Wh- well, um, yeah... how did you guess?"

"Well, you were stuttering, figuring out how to put facts into words. ...and I saw one peeking out under your shirt collar when you came in the room."

"Geez... you're like, Sherlock Holmes or something."

"Just a wise grandmother, honey." The two share a happy laugh, and I admire how well they're getting along. "Well, I'd love to see some of your tattoos."

"Oh! Yeah, okay, um" Frank lifts his hands and puts his fists together. "I have 'halloween' tattooed on my knuckles because, not only is it my favorite holiday, it's also my birthday."

"Oh, isn't that something!" Frank nods his head joyously before maneuvering his hands yet again.

"And this says 'bookworm' because I like books. Comics, more than actual novels, but the point still stands."

"What's it say in the heart there?" Elena gestures to the heart with the ribbon on the front of his hands. I notice his face fall, which concerns me.

"It says Jamia. Sh-she was my absolute best friend from since I can remember. We even went to the same college, we knew we couldn't cope without each other. Then our senior year, right before graduation... she- she um, got in a terrible car crash, was in a coma for a few days.. then.. then-"

"Shh, sugar, you don't need to continue.." I soothe him as I wrap my arm around his waist and pull him closer to me. A few tears trickle down his solemn face, so I wipe them away gently with my thumb before kissing his forehead endearingly. Moments later he composes himself and, just like that, Frank is his usual self again.

"Honey, I'm sorry to have sparked that memory in you. I'm sure she is watching you happily. And making sure you keep yourself strong. I already can see how well you're doing. You're a trooper." My grandma does a salute with her last sentence, making the both of us laugh.

"I really, really like you, Elena."

"Good thing I like you too, Frank."

"Hey, do any of you want anything to drink?" Mikey walks in, looking as if he's been helping Mom cook. Elena asks for a coffee (as long as it isn't too much to ask), and Frank and I ask for some Coca Cola. Mikey comes and gives us the refrigerated cans before walking back into the kitchen to start brewing some coffee. Around ten minutes later, he's walking back in slowly with a Christmas-themed candy cane mug, making sure not to spill any of the hot, sweetened beverage.

"Thank you, dear." Elena chimes with her sing-song voice.

"Hey, 'The Holiday' is on. I saw that movie on tv a couple years ago. It's pretty good, we should watch it." At that moment, my mom walks in.

"The chicken is now in the oven and cooking for the rest of the day." She says. "Ooh, 'The Holiday'! Jude Law is adorable in this movie. I can't resist."

"I just suggested we watch it, actually! Funny." Frank replies with a laugh.

"Well, Gerard, your boyfriend's got great taste in holiday movies."

"Are we all gathering to watch this, then?" I wonder aloud.

"Why not?" Frank questions me with another one of his charming smiles.

"Fine. But let's get your stuff upstairs, yeah?" I stand up and pull Frank along behind me before grabbing one of his bags, it seemed light.

"That's got presents in it, that's why it's so light."

"Wanna empty it first, then at the tree?" He shakes his head before following me upstairs into my room.

"Oh God, I'm being reminded of my teenage years, this is glorious." He admires my room before setting his bag at the foot of my bed, then walks over to me. "I've gotta take some presents out that are for you. ... to... not open in front of your family..."

Oh.

"Is that so?" I question him with a smirk plastered on my face.

"Oh God, don't immediately go there, geez your brain is always dead-wired to go into the gutter. Perhaps it's just an intimate gift that I want to share with just you."

"Perhaps it's dirty, though. You did say perhaps in your sentence. Meaning that it may or may not be sexual."

"Oh my God, shut up!" His face is red as a beet with embarrassment while I giggle.

"Fine, I will!" I continue giggling as he shuffles in his bag of presents, which sits on my bed, and grabs a couple.

"Go ahead and take the bag downstairs, please. I must hide these!" He chuckles after his words are finished, making me join in on his giddy laughter before I grab a fistful of his shirt and pull him to me so I can kiss him. The kiss is passionate. Not too chaste, not too lustful, with a little bit of tongue intermingling occasionally. It lasts for a moment before I pull away. Which I notice Frank breathing heavily when I do.

"Jesus fuck, Gerard." My face flushes as I start to turn away about to take the bag of gifts downstairs before I feel Frank's hands grab hold of my hip bones firmly and harshly pull my body right up against his. Then his lips are on mine once again, this time a little more lust-filled.

"Mmph. F-Frank." I manage to get out without our lips parting. "We- need to get downs-tairs." I force myself to detach from him, wiping a bit of saliva off my chin that drooped down on the process of our sloppy lips removing themselves from one another.

"Y-yeah. Um... go ahead and go downstairs. Just... give me a few minutes." I give him a confused look as I back away to get the bag. Exasperatedly, he sighs, then signals to down below, where I notice a semi-hard on happening.

"Oh." My eyebrows raise and I bite my lower lip to attempt and fail at holding back a smile.

"Shut up, you're a much better kisser than you think you'd be."

"Oh my God-"

"No, seriously, hear me out. You think you're some awkward teenage boy who trips on his own feet but what I see is someone who knows what he's capable of doing and doesn't fail to make my jaw drop to the floor by the simple gesture of raising one of his eyebrows."

"I'm going downstairs now." Too embarrassed to continue this, I grab the bag and rush out of my room and down the stairs, heading over to the Christmas tree to include Frank's addition to the assortment under the green and sparkly source of white lights. As I go through his mix of boxes and bags, I find just a couple for my mom, Mikey, and myself. Then I feel Frank's presence behind me before I feel him sit down and press a kiss to the back of my head. I pull out one last present, a small silver and delicate box for Elena.

Elena.

"I-"

"What is it?" Frank whispers, concerned.

"I- I forgot to get a present for my grandmother." I whisper back, my voice cracking as I feel tears on the verge of spilling over the edge. "I-I w-was in too much worry o-of getting some-thing perfect for my m-mom that I forgot a-about my fucking g-grandmo-mother." As I continued processing this, the tears finally came. I'm only vaguely aware of Frank wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest. Same goes for the sweet nothings he's whispering into my ear soothingly.

"I'm sure she'll understand. Why would she get upset over something like a... damn, I can't think of the term for it.. but, physical, gift? Especially her of all people. Explain it to her and she'll understand." He whispers before kissing my cheek, slowing my tears into trickles.

"B-but. She m-means the world to m-me. I- wanted to sh-show that-"

"You already do show that. You love her beyond repair and treat her as if she were like.. I don't know, God or something." Making me chuckle.

"If you told her that she'd go off on her adorable Jesus spiel she has. She'd appreciate the high compliment then go on to say how God's our creator, blah blah blah." Frank chuckles at the mental image that now resides on both our heads.

"Do you believe in God?" Frank speaks up after a brief comfortable moment of silence.

"I-I mean.. this household was Catholic.. mainly because of my dad. My mom believes in God and all, but she never forced it upon me and Mikey. If we believed in God, we did. If we didn't believe in God, we didn't. She doesn't mind. At first, I really enjoyed believing in God, and loved going to church. But as years progressed and my dad started practically forcing us all to go, I grew to despise it. Do I like to think there's some greater being up there watching over us and protecting us from bad as much as they can? Sometimes. But sometimes I feel like it's a ridiculous notion. But, as of now, I like to think he's some chill dude that reads the Sunday morning paper with his coffee."

"I like that idea, too." Frank mumbles. I turn my head slightly so I can catch his cheek with my lips.

"Boys, you've missed the first ten minutes of the movie. You still up for watching it?" My mom calls over her shoulder toward us. The both of us give 'yeah's. There must have been worry on my face because Frank speaks up.

"Hey. Don't worry about your grandmother. I'll be right next to you to help you along when you tell her, okay?" I nod feebly before Frank kisses me quickly and takes my hand, leading me over to the couch. When he sits down, I immediately cuddle up to him, seeking comfort and warmth in his presence.

-

For the next hour and a half, we all enjoy the romantic holiday film. My mom gets up to go check on the chicken again, like she had been doing during commercials, and Frank nudges me from my almost sleep-filled state.

"I think now is a good time, Dove." Frank leans down to whisper in my ear. My nervousness kicks in again before I sit upright and switch positions with Frank so I was sitting by my grandmother.

"G-grandma, I have to tell you, um, something." I mumble. Her face immediately turns solemn and waitful before she gently takes my hand in her fragile and elder one.

"Go on, honey, don't be nervous." It takes a few moments for my courage to build, it only doing so when I feel Frank rub my back.

"I-I was putting Frank's gifts under the tree when I realized that... um." I feel the tears brink my vision again. Frank's hand is suddenly on my knee giving it a gentle, encouraging squeeze. I take a deep intake of breath before exhaling and continuing. "IforgottogetyouapresentandnowIfeelsoawful." I let out in a rushed sentence. Unsurprisingly, because it's Elena, she catches what I say.

"Tut tut, sugar, you should never be ashamed about that. It's a material item. You don't need to get me one to show you care. Because boy, do I know it. Besides, I consider getting to meet this lovely boy sitting beside you a gift in itself." She leans in and kisses my head, which was sunken low looking down at my lap. At her notion, she managed to get a smile and a laugh to come from me, all as a single tear fell down my face. "I love you, boy. Don't you forget that, now. Don't worry about a present, enjoy the holidays and being around those you love."

-

After that, my guilt disappeared and Frank and I spent the rest of the afternoon in my room. That is, of course, after my grandmother had about an hour of conversation with him and only him. By the time 6:00 hit, Mom was calling up the stairs that it was time for our glorious Christmas Eve dinner. I never felt more alive. The whole meal was filled with laughter and jokes and embarrassing stories from our pasts. Halfway through it, Frank randomly grabbed my hand from under the table. As if to let me know that I wasn't alone. After that, we indulged in hot chocolate and festive brownies while we sat huddled around the tv with the lights off watching Elf. And as if to make the holiday spirits more perfect, it had started snowing, making the view from out the window bright and beautiful despite the dark sky of nighttime. When 10:30 hit, Grandma claimed she was "beat as a batter's mitt" and started to get up to go to bed in our spare room. Before any of us could even move, Frank was up and walking her down the hallway. Ten minutes after he had come back and sprawled himself on the empty half of the couch. We stayed up another few hours before we called it a merry night.

"I feel so welcome in your family." Frank randomly brought up as we were quietly changing into our comfortable pajamas.

"Because you are family, fuckwad." I retort.

"Shut up, you potato." Frank bickers while he springs onto my bed and gets under the covers.

"I shan't!" I whisper-shout before I join him on my bed and straddle his waist.

"I'll make you." He contorts, making me snort a laugh.

"You can try." I cross my arms in defiance, then feel his warm hands move up my thighs.

"And succeed." I get as an answer before he sits up and wraps his hands around my lower back and holds me tightly against him, crashing his lips onto mine.

Warmth sputters into life inside me as I drape my arms on his shoulders while I spend my first Christmas Eve night with my first love.

-


	30. All I Want For Christmas Is You

Gerard's POV

The familiar scent of coffee with the added bonus of what I thought to be that of pancakes stirs me, but what fully awakes me is, well, my boyfriend. He too, was probably awoken from the delicious smell wafting up from downstairs.

"Damn, it smells good." Frank mumbles into my ear from behind, sleep clear in his voice, making me chuckle just as sleepily.

"Yeah, well in that case, Merry Christmas sleepyhead."

"What?" Frank shot straight up, his warmth suddenly disappearing from my body making me shiver.

"It's... Christmas...?" I say in a way which made it seem like a question.

"What are those?" Frank questions rapidly, gesturing to the roses I set out on my desk right by the bed a couple of hours ago.

"For you." I groggily reply before turning onto my back and gently rubbing Frank's back with my fingertips, looking up at him as he reacts with shock.

"Nobody's ever gotten me flowers before." Frank says quietly, seeming a lot more shy and flustered than I have ever seen him. He swings his legs off the side of the bed so he can lean over and read the card that I wrote my cheesy pun of a message on. I notice him giggle quietly before he lays back from his sitting position, so his head is resting on my stomach. Immediately my right hand goes and strokes through his hair as we look at each other. "I love you." Frank states suddenly, making me laugh.

"Frankie we just woke up like three minutes ago and you're already getting all serious and lovey-dovey."

"Hey! Don't be mean to me. It's Christmas we're supposed to be lovey-dovey."

"I'm pretty sure that's what Valentine's Day is for." I smirk, Frank just rolling his eyes at me.

"Oh shut up Mister Know-It-All." Frank rolls onto his stomach, which in turn makes his face right above mine, and before I can get out of his way, because I'm stubborn like that, he captures my lips in a playful kiss. The both of us smile into it before it breaks apart.

"Let's go downstairs." I suggest. When the two of us reach downstairs, I notice a lack of Mikey, which is unsurprising.

"Hello, boys." My mom greets from the table where she and Grandma are sitting, her just starting her pancakes and my grandmother nearly done.

"Moooorning and Merry Christmas to the both of you." Frank cheerfully replies before I'm able to get any words out of my open mouth.

"Looks like somebody saw the flowers." Elena says, an adorable smirk laden across her aged face, which leads to both Frank and I blushing. Remembering the food we've got, I go over to the counter where a stack of pancakes lay wrapped in tin foil to keep warm and grab myself a stack of three before getting coffee, Frank following suit. While we ate, Mikey finally came down about halfway through. After we had all finished, Grandma, Mikey, and I went into the family room to watch the Macy's Parade. Frank was gonna join but my mom had pulled him aside, for God knows what reason. About ten minutes later the both of them walked in, Frank looking kinda shaken up, but trying to not let it show.

"You okay?" I whispered in his ear when he came to sit down by me, which he only nodded to before he took my hand and gripped it tightly.

"Fine. Everything's fine." His voice cracks slightly in his hushed response to me. I try to ignore the bad feeling in my gut, instead pushing it away and enjoying the company of loved ones, and how this could have gone down much worse, how bad it would have been if my father were still here. For a brief moment, I wonder what he could be up to, where he could be staying, all of that. I'm pulled from my thoughts when I feel Frank's lips plant a soft kiss on my temple. "Don't worry about it." He whispers. And that was that. I proceeded to snuggle up close to him, tucking my knees up to my chest on the couch, and we all sat and watched the parade together, making comments on personal favorite floats, and how all the ridiculous pop stars were obviously lip synching.

After watching the parade and having all decided that we wanted hot chocolate, the five of us gathered around the Christmas tree to open presents, which, in the process, reminded me how I had forgotten about my lovely grandmother. She had noticed, and as I was sitting on the ground in front of her chair, she ruffled my hair in a soothing gesture, as if to say "It's okay, darling."

Mikey had loved the t-shirt I got him, the Sum 41 vinyl's from Mom, the few issues of comics that Frank figured he'd get, and the novels and bass guitar picks from Grandma. Especially the picks, since he, in the past few weeks, had gained a new found interest in the instrument.

Grandma got a couple blouses from my mom, a sweater and some water colors from Mikey (since she's also quite the artist herself) and Frank got her this lovely charm bracelet that made her eyes sparkle. I couldn't help the ache in my heart as I saw, in that moment, more bonding between the two of them.

Next, of course, is Frank. Mikey got him a The White Stripes vinyl and Iron Maiden vinyl. Two bands of which he's deeply fond of (which Mikey only knew because I've mentioned it before). Mom had been clueless as to what to get Frank, and had settled on a plaid shirt and a tan cardigan, guessing from the many photos of us that she had seen, numerous ones which he was wearing one or both. My grandmother, of course having not known a thing about him, did try to get something which he could put to use. A blank but elegant black photo album. So he could fill it with memories and more, for good old times' sake. He thanked her profusely, finding deep meaning in such a simple object. Now came my presents (to give him amongst the family, that is). Frank first opened the bigger one of the two to reveal a pair of black X-Files themed pajama pants. He immediately laughs with glee, a smile never leaving his beautifully lit up face.

"To go with your X-Files sweater..." I point out shyly, to which he just nods to, having understood right away my reasoning behind getting them for him.

"I'm gonna wear the fu- um. fudge... out of these." Frank adds, a blush on his lips at his attempt to have manners around my family, which the all of us chuckle at.

"It's okay Frank, I raise two teenage boys. I've given up on trying to train their tongues." My mom pipes in with small laughs in between her words. After apologizing with embarrassment, he goes on to the second present from me, which in a small box that you'd think a necklace or bracelet would come in. My nerves spike as I watch this happen, as if it is all in slow motion. Then slowly, but surely, I saw his face process what he was seeing before his eyes, before shining ever so brightly and gazing right up at me.

"You didn't!"

I nod enthusiastically. "But I did." Suddenly his body is tackling mine in a hug and his lips are kissing my cheek multiple times.

"I've been wanting to get a new tattoo for a few months." He lets go and goes back to the gift card to the tattoo parlor and reads it. "300? Jesus, Gerard, that's so much."

"I wanted to." I shrug. Frank sets down the card and smiles at me warmly before thanking me continuously before I chastely kiss his lips to shut him up, hearing my mother quietly 'aw' to herself. We're broken apart by the sound of a camera and I look up to see her iPhone being lowered from a suspiciously good photo angle.

"I'm sorry, I had to." Donna replies to my questioning gaze, making me blush.

"Mom!" I whine.

"Let me be a mother, dear." Is all she responds, sass and all. "Well, anyways, I'd say you should start opening presents. You've just been sitting here watching us instead of delving into your own goodies." Deciding it was a good idea, I pull out all the presents that are marked to me.

Mom had gotten me a gift card to Starbucks, a David Bowie shirt (which I was extremely excited about, seeing that I had none up until this point), and a new pair of white high top converse, since mine had become dirty, half-fallen-apart dumpster shoes. Mikey also got me music as he did Frank. Of course, since I didn't have a record player, he just got me cd's. The cd's being Korn's "Take A Look in the Mirror", Danzig's "Deth Red Saboath", and AC/DC's "For Those About to Rock, We Salute You." All albums I am really passionate about, but never took the time to actually purchase them in my own time. Grandma had only gotten me one thing, but it was one very expensive thing. A huge set of 72 copic markers. I didn't even want to know exactly how much it had cost her. Tears welled in my eyes, me once again deep down feeling bad about completely forgetting a damn present for her. I sat and hugged her tightly for a good few minutes, whispering into her ear my gratitude. Now to Frank's presents, well, the ones that weren't upstairs for later. There were two here from him. The first one held the size and shape of what I originally thought was a dvd, but I was wrong. I remove the wrapping paper and a simple black picture frame comes into my vision.

"Since you gave me a picture of us for my birthday, I kinda decided to carry one with that and give you one for Christmas." Frank brings up quietly. I look back down at the rectangular object in my hands to look closer at the photograph. It was, matter-of-factly, at his house on his birthday, us clad in our onesies on the couch, me behind him from the camera angle, resting my chin on his shoulder with my arms wrapped around his upper torso. One of his hands was covering my linked ones while our eyes were just poking out from underneath our hoods. A small smile was across my face while Frank was making a goofy one, making me snort a laugh as I'm admiring it.

"I forgot we even took pictures." I admit honestly.

"Of course you did." Frank replies, the thought of what we had done coming across both our minds. Without anyone around us noticing, Frank sneaks a wink at me, making me suck my lips into my mouth to try to hold back a smile.

"Well, um, Mom, you should open your presents. You still haven't done so."

"Oh, right! Of course! Silly me." The group of us share a laugh as Mikey hands the presents over to her.

Mikey's present was, honestly, cheap. Cheap as in homemade. He made her one of those coupon books kindergartners make at school to give to their parents on either Mother's or Father's Day. While it was a light joke, Mom really did appreciate, and Mikey meant he'd do every little thing in that when she wanted to. He thought he needed to pitch in more, and through the book, it would help him start doing that. Grandma got Mom some earrings and a new perfume that was supposedly "all the rage" amongst women in the beauty department right now. Frank also got her some jewelry, a simple yet sparkly bracelet that was just her taste, as well as a blank picture frame. 'To put new memories in for your new start of life... or, whatever.' as Frank had awkwardly put it. The last item, ironically, was mine. She seemed excited, and my nerves grew. As soon as she opened it, she read the tiny note I wrote and put in when I got home after purchasing the necklace, her eyes having already teared up at why I chose the item. Her gaze drifted down into the silver box to lay eyes on the elegant silver chain.

"Oh, Gerard." My face flushed, I really had no idea what to say to her. "This is absolutely the best, most beautiful, meaningful thing I've ever received."

"Y-you deserve it, Mom, with all the crap we've been through the past few months and all..."

"I cannot express how grateful I am for you, boy. Thank the Lord I didn't raise my baby boys to be jerks. Come here." I went the few steps over to her and sat down before she wrapped her arms around my side and pulled me tightly into her own side, kissing my head multiple affectionate times. "You've always been so good. Stay that way."

-

"Today was really nice." The shorter of the two brings up from the comfortable silence.

"It was amazing." I agree automatically. The two of us are cuddled on my bed on top of the covers, just sitting and letting our minds wander to whatever they desired. We had been laying like this for half an hour since we came up here after eating dinner, which, honestly, was just leftovers. But none of us complained.

From where I'm lying on the bed, I'm able to look out the blinded window with minimal head movement. "The sky is clear." I randomly state. "You can see the stars. They're gorgeous." I hear Frank hum in agreement. "I could gaze at them forever."

"You really could... Oh, wait. That reminds me." Frank sits up on the cramped twin sized bed and reaches underneath before retrieving a box a slightly smaller than a basketball. A smile creeps onto my face as I also sit up.

"Is this for me?"

"No, I got it for myself and brought it to your home to open in front of you. Yes, it's for you." Heavy sarcasm laces through Frank's words, and I shove him playfully in return. "Just open it so I can tell you about it." And that I did. What is revealed to me is what I'm confused with at first. Until he describes it, of course.

"You plug it in. And it lights up. Kinda like a night light, but much cooler. More..."

"Aesthetic?"

"Y-yes." Frank breaks into a ridiculous smile. "Aesthetic."

"It's a globe..."

"And the world is beautiful if you look past its surface." I smile at his analogy. "My dad got one of these for my mom when I was little before he went on a month-long business trip in Japan. So she could always keep an eye on him, is what he said." He continues after a brief pause. "I could've given this to you for your birthday, it would've fit better with the time, honestly, but I couldn't wait. The reason I got this when I saw it was because you're gonna be going to college soon. I want you to take it with you when you go, and watch over me whenever you're feeling lonely, etcetera..."

I am utterly speechless. Which, of course, is something Frank manages to constantly do.

"F-Frank, that's. That's so thoughtful, I-" I take a deep breath in. "I love this." Frank lets out a breath neither of us had realized he was holding.

"Let me plug it in." Taking the globe that I had removed from the box in the duration of time he described its meaning to me, he went over to the spare outlet by my desk and set it on an empty spot on the messy surface. It was hard to see once he flicked on the battery-included trinket, but once the lights flickered off and he joined me back on the bed, the deep blue light shone soothingly and, I soon realized, was ever so slowly rotating. "Go wherever your road in life takes you." Frank whispers in my ear while he hugs me from behind.

"Stop being so cheesy all the time." I whisper back, trying to lighten the deep mood while remaining awestruck at my surroundings. I turn my face sideways to be met with his gaze. My lips grace his as our loving kiss starts chastely before growing heated. The man's hands roam firmly all over my back and hips as we shift around until he's placed himself on top of me, already starting a small grinding rhythm. One of my hands tangle in Frank's shoulder-length hair and the other travels between us until I'm palming him between our growing erections.

"Your shirt." I pant out when we part lips momentarily to breathe. We then hastily remove his shirt, before removing my own comfy sweater. Shortly after, I'm completely vulnerable in my complete lack of clothing, teasingly toying with the waistband of Frank's pajama pants before I start to push down what I can, eventually using my legs to rub against his sides to help shimmy them down as far as possible, which isn't too far. Much to my disappointment, he breaks off and gets up. It's only to remove the last articles of clothing on his body, but the lack of contact makes me whimper. Then I notice them. His underwear.

"What. The fuck. Are those." I ask between breaths, a wide grin appearing immediately on my face, but his face just turning red from utter embarrassment when he looks down at himself.

"Oh yeah..."

"What?"

"I... um, I may have... meant this underwear, to, um. Be another... Christmas present." He whispers the last part so quietly I have to strain my ears to hear.

"Frank it's underwear with a bunch of candy Sugar Daddy's all over it what the fuck!" My voice raises only slightly, but Frank still quickly shushes me, even though everybody else is downstairs watching tv.

"Yeah, so what? I got a pack of underwear with different candies on them. I thought they were cute. Sue me."

"Okay, sure, it's cute. But you had to be wearing a pair with 'Sugar Daddy' all over it?"

"What's wrong with Sugar Daddy?" His obliviousness makes me laugh incredibly.

"Oh, sugar, have you heard the term 'daddy'?"

"Wh...- oh." Frank's confusion soon turns to understanding, then disgust.

"Daddy, give me some sugar. I need you." Frank very visibly cringes and does a little grossed out dance.

"Oh no no no please stop. I'm so grossed out, oh God don't you ever call me that again. I laugh even more at just how uncomfortable I managed to make my boyfriend.

"Believe me I do not want to call you that, either, okay, Frankie? Oh God you should see your face, I'm dying." I take another break to laugh. "Okay, but seriously I do need you please come love me."

And Frank did just that, with the reflection of the world around us making the moment all that more meaningful for the two of us.

-

Frank and I slept easily last night, our passionate night wearing us out. We had woken up together late into the morning and tangled. Frank's and Grandma's final day in our home was sweet and comforting. We just relaxed the few hours before the two of them left, which was noon for Grandma and three for Frank.

Every night before school started back up after New Years, I went to bed with the globe from Frank on and gazed around me before sleep overtook my eyes. Except for New Years, obviously, which myself and my friends all spent at Pete's, since we had claimed that as the place to celebrate the New Year for a few years now. At midnight, Frank had called me, and wished me the best.

If only I had known the trouble that small globe would bring me.

-


	31. I'll Help You

Frank's POV

Christmas with Gerard's family was the best I've had in years now. My family by blood, I felt forced to get along with, and always answered and asked the same routine questions like every holiday gathering. Though, from me, Frank, to you, the readers, I bet you're wondering why Gerard noticed me a little shaken up after his wonderful mother wanted to talk to me.

To be straightforward, Donna Way knows my career. And I'm sure you're all thinking, "Well, yeah, the whole musician thing." But that's not what I mean. I'm saying that she figured out I'm Gerard's teacher. She was stern, like any mother should be, but otherwise she didn't mind. Donna saw how I helped Gerard open up, and said that if his dad went psycho and I weren't in his life like I was, she doesn't know how he could have coped. She also expressed how she was worried about people finding us out and if any of Gerard's friends would accidentally let it slip that we're a thing at the wrong time and place. But I didn't tell Gerard about our encounter, and I don't think Donna will speak of it to him either. Not any time soon, that is.

Now it's New Years Eve, and the local pub contacted the band to see if we were interested in playing an hour and a half long gig at 10 pm, so that's what we're doing. Or, were doing. The four of us had just finished, and Patrick had come along with his girlfriend Elisa, since it had been awhile since we got together rather than talking briefly at school.

"You guys seem to keep getting better and better." Patrick exclaims when our four sweaty and deadly thirsty selves make it over to the cute pair at the bar. The bar tender setting out cold tap water for us at our arrival.

"Frank's been working his ass off." Matt says, patting my shoulder before chugging half of his water.

"We've all worked hard, though, seriously." I add, not liking the amount of credit he's giving me.

"Who here writes majority of the songs all on his own or with minimal help?" Rob joins in his thick Jersey accent, making me roll my eyes with a smile adorned on my face.

"You deserve this credit, dude, even though you obviously don't like taking all of it." Evan says to me, resting his elbows on the bar.

"Well, even if I do deserve the credit, I stand by my belief that you guys need to give yourselves more. There obviously wouldn't be a band without you guys."

"Let's just go with you all need to give yourselves credit and you guys are doing great." Patrick cuts in. "Let's drink, yeah?" The six of us cheer to ourselves before ordering beers, all sitting down next to one another and chatting away. Since I'm sitting at the end, I eventually draw myself out of the conversation at hand. I don't realize that my thoughts have been elsewhere until I feel a presence at my other side.

"Great job tonight, dude." A deeper voice rings through my ears, but not deeper as in masculine but deeper as in a woman. I smirk at the compliment, not because I was being cocky, but mainly because my face was feeling lazy.

"Thanks." I say with a smile, but not lifting my gaze from my glass of lager. Once I do, though, I'm in for a shocker. "I think that was one of our best gigs, yet, actua-..." The figure sitting by me made me lose my train of thought. I bet I'm staring like a bumbling idiot.

"It was definitely one of the best performances I've seen in a long time. Very crowd oriented and you're all passionate about your playing. I was intrigued throughout your whole show."

"You're Laura Jane Grace." I squeak out, her high compliments going right over my head. Now it's her turn to let out a little chuckle before she nods with a smile. Her cheeks are flushed slightly, and I wonder if she's not used to being immediately recognized out of the blue like this, because, sadly, Against Me! isn't as well known as they deserve to be.

"And you're Frank Iero." I'm literally having a fanboy moment in my head. One of my favorite musicians knows who I am before I even introduce myself directly to them. Hearing her say my name made me let out a little squeak.

"Yeah." I breathe out, almost once again staring at her, but remembering my manners and playing it cool. "But, wow, okay. Wow. Can I just say I've been following your band practically religiously since my early high school years? And when you came out as transgender, that was awesome. I literally admire you." I rush out in a blur, surprised that she managed to catch everything I said.

"Geez you've stuck with us for a while. Well thanks for listening so long and not having a falling out with the music like people tend to do. Seriously. And I'm not all that great, don't flatter me." Laura adds the ending on with a joking laugh and a smile.

"Um, why are you even in Jersey? If I can ask?"

"We're here recording for a little bit, actually."

"Yeah? That's cool, I haven't heard any news about new stuff in a while, it about time to release more stuff?" The two of us share a laugh.

"Yep, it's about that time! Today we worked a lot so we're considering this a gift to ourselves for our hard work. A nice night out, yaknow?"

"Hah, yes I know precisely."

"But the reason I approached you."

"There's a reason you came to talk to me?" I ask in a daze, making Laura Jane chuckle yet again.

"Yes, Frank."

"W-what is it?" I swear the beer is finally getting to my system.

"Well, the reason the band is here tonight is a little celebration for ourselves. We finished recording the new album today, and..."

"And?" I notice the chatter of my bandmates die down behind me, probably listening in and realizing I am sitting talking to the lead of Against Me!.

"So, we've been coming up with different locations to tour for the past couple weeks... but lacked in knowledge of who our opening act should be." She looks between all of us, the other three members of my band whispering to themselves like high schoolers eating up the latest gossip. My heart starts pounding at the words that reached my ears.

"Are you asking what I think you're asking?" Suspicion clear in my voice.

"If what you're thinking is that my band is completely interested in your band touring with us, then yes. I'm asking what you're thinking." She replies with laughter in reaction to all our shocked faces, before the four of us break into cheers while Patrick and Elisa smile widely, happy for us. I calm down to give her a response after talking quietly, wisely, yet briefly to my bandmates.

"When would this tour be taking place?"

"Summer next year. We're thinking starting in June and ending sometime in early August. No overseas, just the States." If we were to say yes to touring with Against Me!, that would bring more needed publicity to us, therefore getting good and well-known record labels to sign us. As well as money to help make us a profit.

"We have no merch, though. We have designs we've made, but not printed them onto shirts and stuff... and no physical copies of our music. It's just online."

"We can help you with that. There's five months to take care of everything you need. Believe me, we'll more than gladly help ya. We've been in your place before, too, yaknow." The two of us share a look of relatability. "So what do you guys say?" From the corner of my eye I see the rest of her band approaching us from wherever they previously were. I look back at my friends, making sure to look at each one of them individually to get their approval.

"I say you've got yourselves an opening act."

-

Gerard's POV

Frank had called me with his ecstatic news involving Against Me! on the second, the day before we're due to start back up with school. The happiness swelling within me when the words "We're touring with Against Me! this summer." was the immense. Over and over again I had exclaimed to Frank how proud I was of him, and how he's finally getting where he deserves with his talent. I also told him numerous times how much I loved him. Frank had thanked me every single time and that he loved me too every time I told him.

The month of January seemed to fly by. He was working every weekend with Laura Jane Grace on merchandise for FIATC and making physical copies of his music.

On the 22nd of January when I went to his classroom after school, he presented me the first physical copy he made of his album. Stomachaches.

"Not all the songs I wanted on it are finished, so it's just a few we managed to record in the makeshift studio I've got in my basement, yaknow? And whenever a record label signs us, we'll just re-record them so they're better quality."

"I can't believe you got this opportunity, Frankie. It's been three weeks since you told and I'm still in shock."

"Laura Jane Grace said they're for sure gonna have the first show to kick off the tour here, actually. If you want to come??? It'll be in June."

"Of course I'll come. You know I wouldn't not." I smirked, giving him a kiss before I left, since he had to, again, work with the band this weekend. Something he was deeply sorry for.

-

Wednesday, February 3rd

Neither of us realized it, but because of Frank constantly being busy for the past month, we've had extreme lack of alone time, and could rarely text or talk on the phone. It was pulling us apart without our permission. We only spent time together after school and occasionally beforehand, and, if we were lucky, on a Friday or Saturday. To put matters at hand, I started hanging out with Bert the same amount I was spending with Frank. He still needed help with Chemistry, and occasionally math frustrated him, so I more than gladly assisted him, and it helped. We kept bonding the more we were around each other.

"Do you think you'll be ready for the math test tomorrow?" I double check, even though he's very clearly understanding the material. Only an occasional mess up pops up here and there.

"I'm pretty sure..."

"And you're understanding chem right now?"

"Yes. Believe me, I'll come to you when I need help." He speaks to me while sitting at my desk, whereas I had just walked over to my bed to put away the homework I just completed. I'm digging through my binder to find the right folder when Bert speaks up. "Hey what's this thing?" I look back over my shoulder to see what he could possibly be talking about. I thought, if anything, he had ruffled through my art I didn't move from my desk and came across some stuff for my comic idea. But I was entirely wrong.

"Oh, that thing." I walk over to it, admiring it. I hadn't turned it on in a week or so. "It's actually a Christmas present from Frank."

"Oh." His voice seems distant.

"It really is awesome, though. I forgot about it recently, but come on, I'll show you." I tell him to go sit on my bed while I turn off the lights. Since it's still winter, it still gets dark earlier, and it's just now 5:30, so the dusk of the sky is covering New Jersey, making it dark enough to see the pattern of the globe, but light enough to easily see my surroundings in my room. I flick off the light switch then walk over to my desk to plug in the little globe and turn it on. Soon the soft blue rotating pattern lights up the walls of my tiny place I usually seek out alone time. I hear Bert mutter a "woah" under his breath before I walk over and join him on my bed and lie down, him following suit after me. It being a twin bed, we're slightly cramped together.

"This is awesome..." Bert trails off, like he wants to say more, but not knowing exactly what it is that he wants to say.

"For like a week or so straight I went to bed with it on every night and admired it, letting my mind wander and dream of places I'd love to travel to. Something I've never really done before." There is a comfortable silence for a while before Bert speaks up again.

"Where do you want to travel to? Or, at the least, go for college?" This question stumps me.

"Well, I wanna go to San Diego at some point... and yes, solely because I want to go the San Diego Comic Con. I applied to an art school there and a couple local ones here. But my top choice is School of Visual Arts in NYC. It's close enough where I can't be too homesick, but where I can live on my own, yaknow?"

"Seems reasonable. And you're really fucking talented. I have no doubt you'll get in to any school you want." The compliment makes me involuntarily blush.

"Where do you wanna go?" I ask quietly after a brief silence, Bert only grunts in reply.

"I'm clueless. Yes, I've applied to colleges, but only for my dad's sake, really. There's nothing out there for me. You know how college just isn't meant for some people?" I nod meekly, upset at his negativity toward himself. "I'm one of those people." Before realizing what I'm doing, I move my right hand and entangle my fingers with Bert's left hand and grasp it tightly.

"Don't think like that." I whisper, making Bert snort.

"It's true, Gerard. I'm gonna be stuck here the rest of my life, I-"

"No. You're not. If you don't want to go to college, fine. But I'm not letting you dig yourself into a deeper rut than your father. I want you to be able to help him."

"And how would I do help him?"

"Get a steady job while you figure out what you want to do. ... I'll help you." I add on my last sentence after a pause.

"Sure." He replies, suspicion lacing his word.

"Seriously. Whatever college I end up going to, you're going with me. Instead of getting a dorm, the two of us will get an apartment." Bert turns his head sharply to face mine, which is only a few inches apart.

"Really?"

"I see how much you want to fix your life. And I've seen you visibly trying. But you don't know how to do that. I want to help you with that. And I mean it." Some time passes before I hear anything from Bert.

"T-thank you." Bert whispers, then I hear a small sniffle. It's my turn to snap my head in his direction and am met with his watery gaze. A few tears are falling down his face.

"Oh, no no, don't cry." I bring up quietly. Only more tears fall when he smiles and lets out a breathy chuckle.

"I'm just happy, okay? You're making me feel more secure about my future." He chokes out. "Fuck, I never get emotional." He laughs, a couple final tears slipping from his eyes. I smile small before hesitantly reaching my free hand toward his lightly scruffy face and starting to gently wipe away his tears with my thumb. I feel his bright blue gaze peering into mine, but I avoid it, instead looking at where my hand is while ridding his face from the intruding liquid. I flicker my eyes to his, though, and before I can look away, I get captivated. We stare momentarily without movement.

"I'm gonna make sure you can travel the world, McCracken." I whisper. "I believe in you." Something about this moment feels right, as much as my brain is screaming deep down that it's wrong. Our eyes meet yet again and we continue to stare. I notice his eyes flicker down towards my lips very briefly, and as if on instinct, I do the same. My hand that was wiping his tears is still resting on his face, my thumb caressing his cheek slowly. I feel shivers go over my body, gone in an instant. Bert's free hand comes to rest on my lower back, and the shivers return. Our bodies turn on our sides instinctively so we're facing each other. My heart rate quickens when I realize how close Bert is to me, not paying attention when he scoots ever so slightly closer, our noses fearfully close to touching and our breaths starting to intermingle.

Bert moves his face slowly to mine and he nudges my nose as gently as possible. Both our eyes flicker closed as I also lean forward. We both stop our movements when we feel the warmth of each other's breath. That lasts only briefly before Bert appears to gain courage and closes the centimeters between our mouths and latches them together. My heart is racing up into my throat as our kiss turns from hesitant and awkward to more experienced and confident. I feel Bert pull me into him, closing the gap our bodies had, our legs becoming tangled. My hand moves from the side of his face to grasp the back of his hair. What we're doing remains innocent and experimental, no lust or passion. Just kissing. We last like this, in our comfortable position, for what felt like hours, when it only lasted fifteen seconds in reality. Being on cloud nine having overtook our thought process. Once my conscience catches up to me, I break apart from the enjoyable kiss.

What did I just do?

-


	32. The Chapter in Which Frank Iero Covers a Kurt Cobain Cover of a Beatles Song

Frank's POV

The amount of things The Cellabration has been able to accomplish over the past month still blows me away, almost quite literally. All with the help of Laura Jane Grace, and her band, respectively, we've printed merch ranging from various types of shirts, buttons, patches, and stickers. Don't get me started on the actual, physical cd's of our album, though. Since we're still undecided on what the cover should be, the picture on the front is just our logo with us on the back. It's a start, so that's what matters.

"Okay, guys, this chapter, to me at least, is probably the easiest, so I think you all can do really well on this. So far you have been. We just finished the last section, so obviously that means a test. I don't have you guys on Tuesday, so I think Monday will be good, so you've got the whole weekend to study, and we'll review tomorrow. Okay?" The second class of the day moans in frustration at the news of a test. Which is expected, I mean, especially since it's chemistry. The only two that don't groan are Gerard... and Bert. They just send each other a quick glance, talking with their eyes. I'm slightly baffled at first, to be honest. My thoughts are cut off by the bell, signaling the end of class, and the noise of everybody gathering up their things and chattering continue to drown out my attempts of focusing on my boyfriend and the boy I'm still a little tense with.

"Study over the weekend?" I hear Bert ask when he goes over to Gerard's desk, happening to be right in front of mine.

"O-of course. Um, h-how's Saturday?" I haven't heard Gerard stutter like that towards other people in a while, honestly... is something up? Maybe I should ask....?

"Saturday's awesome."

"Cool. Come by at, um, ...n-noon?" The two bid farewell and I'm left baffled, wondering what just went on. It was just a study session. It's okay. Gerard's been helping Bert. Nothing wrong there at all. I watch Gerard as his gaze is on Bert until he exits the room, which he lets a long breath out afterwards. When the other students finally leave, Gerard is still slowly packing up his things. Nervous for some reason, I approach him.

"Gee, are you okay?" I pipe up, my eyes wandering over his stressed facial features. I flinch when I see him jump at the sound of my voice.

"F-fine, I'm fine. J-just um, a little s-stressed." He stutters out with very minimal eye contact.

"Look at me." I say gently. Gerard just stares down at the notebook in his hands, clutching it so hard his knuckles turn white. Sighing, I slowly move my hands over his, making him flinch yet again. His reaction makes my heart hurt and I can't help but wonder what it is I could've done. I move to take the notebook out of his hands, which he silently obliges to. One of my hands never moves from over top of his, and he doesn't push it away, so I take that as somewhat of a good sign, no matter the slight ache I'm feeling inside right now. I step closer to him and slowly bring his hands together in my own and bring them up to my mouth, where I plant a few tiny kisses. When I do that, Gerard immediately looks up at me with his wide, doe-like hazel eyes.

"We're at school, Frank." He whispers.

"It's not like we've done worse than kiss hands in here or anything." I reply just as calmly.

"But we could get caught-"

"It hasn't stopped us in the past, Dove." I watch Gerard's eyes flutter briefly before he lets out another breath. Gradually, after I feel he's relatively calmed down, I wrap my arms around his waist and once again step closer, our noses now barely touching. The boy stills his minimal movements when I do so, and holds his breath when I soothingly rub my nose against his petite, pointy one. "What's on your mind?" I whisper. Gerard, in turn, releases a shudder.

"J-just stressed..." He trails off, avoiding my gaze.

"I'm not saying that you're lying to me, but you already claimed you are... and you're avoiding eye contact for some reason unbeknownst to me. Sweetie, are you sure everything's okay?" At that moment Gerard's eye water up and he scrunches them closed as his face contorts, putting his hands on my chest and pushing away ever so slightly. "Oh no. No no no." I whisper when he unlatches himself from my hold. Gerard tries to turn away but I put a firm hand on his shoulder to hold him in place before moving both of my hands to rub away the steady flow of quiet tears. When they fully decease is when Gerard finally looks me in the eye. He looks scared, and that look rips right through me. I find it difficult to keep my composure, but I manage. After a brief second, I move in and give him a sweet kiss, feeling his own lips purse back weak and unsure. When I pull apart, there are more tears forming. "I-I, what did I do?" I question, feeling my heart nearly breaking at my boyfriend's odd behavior.

"N-nothing." He whispers. After a moment he glances around quickly and hastily pushes away from me and gathers his things, leaving the room in a hurry without a word and leaving me confused and slightly heartbroken.

The rest of the week he was like this. Minimal text replies, distant on the phone. I considered myself lucky when I kissed Gerard on his temple on Friday and got a small lopsided smile out of him. Every time I told him I loved him, it was in hope of giving him reassurance from whatever it was he had on his mind. But every time it escaped my lips, he seemed to get even more insecure and uncertain if my words even held meaning to me.

"Something's up." Patrick's voice rattled through my bones, snapping me back into the late Friday night that somehow got here quicker than I anticipated.

"What?" I ask him, standing near dumbfounded with my front door open.

"Okay, well, it's February at night, it's really cold." Patrick makes his way inside and even has to close and lock my front door for me because I have so much I'm thinking about.

"Um, do you want coffee?" I manage to mumble out, Patrick agreeing immediately. Five minutes later we're sitting down at my tiny kitchen island with steaming sweetened coffee in front of us. "I think Gerard is avoiding me." I bring out from nowhere. Well, not nowhere. I knew that's why Patrick even stopped by in the first place. He suspected something wrong and wanted to check on me. I guess it's been obvious throughout the week, how I started it completely normal then slowly became distant from reality, getting stuck in my own head, troublesome and worried thoughts swirling around everywhere at every second. It kept me from sleeping soundly and kick started a series of stomachaches. Ironic, isn't it? The title I came up with for the album, all because I know the feeling all too well from childhood. It had subsided for awhile. I nearly forgot about them until I awoke from some very little sleep Thursday night from the all too familiar feeling from within.

"Why do you think that?" Patrick asks, sympathy obvious in his voice.

"He's gotten so fucking distant. You know, like I apparently have? Something's bothering him and I don't know what. He won't fucking tell me, and I just wanted to try to help, but no, he's not hinted at one single damn thing about what could possibly be wrong." I sigh frustratedly. "Well, besides the fact that every time I've told him that I love him this week his face visibly seemed perturbed." I hear Patrick take in a sharp breath. I look up at him after a second, my eyes glassy. "What's this mean? What did I do, Patrick? If he wanted time apart to clear things up he would have told me. I know it."

"This is really bothering you, man. God, it's even hurting me. Um, try talking to him? Tomorrow maybe? Tell him that you're going nuts over his behavior, because, well, you kinda are.. Hey! Sing him a song. Skype him and play him a song. I think doing that works well, especially when you're in a state where it's difficult to get your own words out there." I nod my head slowly, processing the advice.

"Yeah... I think I could do that." We both take sips from our coffees casually, an only slightly awkward silence falling between us. I let out a sharp breath of a laugh suddenly, shaking my head. "God this is like some sappy high school shit."

"Funnily enough, you both technically attend high school every day."

-

Gerard's POV

I wake up with a jolt, my heart beating rapidly and my body covered in a cold sweat. My pleasant dream had turned into a nightmare. I dreamt of Frank and I, happy as ever. I felt safe in his warm presence. Then out of nowhere Bert appeared. Before I knew it, Frank was heartbroken, the two of us arguing. Tears were streaming down both of our faces before Frank yelled in my face, upset at how I couldn't have told him what I was feeling. And then he left. You would think that kind of dream wouldn't cause the physical reaction I had, but to my unstable state, it was expected. What made the whole ordeal worse, was that after Frank had stormed off, for what I was positive was for good, Bert wrapped his arms around me from behind, and I had felt just as safe as I had felt with Frank, despite my torn emotions.

My phone vibrates on my nightstand next to my bed. It was a text from Bert saying he was on his way over. Already? I notice the time. 11:45. Shit! I spring out of my comfortable bed and change really fast, going to fix my hair before rushing downstairs to eat something. I had just swallowed my last bite when I heard the doorbell ring. By the time I got to the door, though, it was already answered by my mother. As soon as I laid my eyes on him, I felt my heartbeat quicken, and I mentally cursed myself for it. There was nothing different about Bert, he was his normal self, as was I. But I didn't feel like my normal self. Not one bit. I wasn't supposed to be feeling this way. I... I thought all my love was for my boyfriend. God, fucking high schoolers, they can't make up their minds, their hormones mess with them. God fucking, fuck-

"Gerard?"

"Hmm?" I refocus my vision to find him standing directly in front of me.

"...You just, looked like you were fighting some mental demon or some shit. You didn't even hear me when I said hi or notice when your mom walked by you and tapped your cheek."

"Oh, um, r-really?" I question dumbly, red now present on my face, making Bert chuckle and nod his head.

"Yeah, come on, though, to your room?" Bert quirks his head in the direction of the staircase. Once we reach my room he immediately sets his backpack down in front of my desk while I stand around watching him (for a reason unknown to my common sense). "Well, I gotta admit, I do feel confident about my knowledge of this chapter, but I wanted to feel completely sure, so I thought reviewing with you wouldn't hurt." I feel myself smile in adoration at the stupid grin he has plastered on his cheery face. And the moment he turns and stands up to look at me is when I give in to the warmth he has brought into the household. Suddenly my phone is vibrating, but I ignore it. Bert looks back at my desk to the source of my phone. "Um, your phone. Frank's calling you." He holds it up to me, the look on his face unreadable to me, but one I've seen him adorn before. Sparks spread through me when I go to take my mobile device, when our fingers brush. We share the same look: slightly startled, jolty eyes, rosy cheeks, lip bites, and quick to turn our gaze away. He had felt the same thing I did, I know it.

"Hello?" I mumble.

"H-hey, Gee..." Frank's voice fills my left ear, the sound making my eyelids flutter as if on instinct.

"Hi-" "Um, can you talk right now, or?" I sigh, the contemplation on my mind evident.

"N-not now, I'm busy." I rush out. Silence for a brief moment, before I hear an exhale of breath on the other end of the line. "Oh, um, when can you?" I don't hesitate with my response. "Tonight. Um, how's seven?"

"Seven is perfect." Frank responds just as quickly as I had prior. "I miss you." My heart immediately sinks to my stomach at his words. "Mhmm." I halfheartedly answer.

"I-" another exhale of breath. "I love you." I heard his voice crack, which sent a jolt through my body as it had occurred when I woke up this morning.

"Yeah." I respond, my voice also cracking before I hang up the call. My mind is fuzzy. I feel numb. Why do I feel numb? Frank obviously felt the exact opposite of numb. My voice cracked, yes, but that was nothing to me. It ironically happened in that moment. Or, maybe not? I don't know. Like I said, my mind is fuzzy.

I had forgotten about Bert's presence until I felt a hesitant hand on my shoulder, which made me jump slightly. I turn around and our eyes lock. "Um, is... is everything okay?" His voice is quiet. At first I nod my head with certainty, but after stopping with that, I slowly began to shake my head before finally deciding on a shrug, collapsing into Bert's arms and wrapping my own around his shoulder when I finally break down into a shaky, wet-faced mess. Immediately Bert's arms were around me in support, while all I seem to be able to accomplish is soaking his shirt with damn tears and baby gurgles. "Shh, Gee." He gently whispers. Bert rubs his hands up and down my back, attempting to soothe me and succeeding before I notice the faintest kiss placed on my shoulder. It's in that moment that my brain explodes. I'm torn. Completely and irrevocably. Frank Iero has lifted me off my feet these past near six months. Bert McCracken, though, the fucker came in out of nowhere and fixed himself up, earning my trust and becoming a rare someone I feel truly at peace with.

"I'm so fucking confused, Bert." I whisper, grasping the back of his hoodie into my balled fists.

"If it's alright, can I ask why?" My next movements are so sudden I wouldn't be surprised if I startled Bert a tad. In a flash, I kiss him, hard. The pain and the confusion and need for just something evident in the way my lips move against his. And he doesn't push me away. He kisses back, but gently instead. I don't have to think. I only have to do it. The results are always perfect. My soul is on fire, and I feel a spark, one I felt dying, with who I've been thinking my heart belonged to, ever since January. Not really wanting to, but doing so anyways, I pull away, letting out a long and definitely shaky breath. "That's why." I whisper, looking down at the ground. It's silent for a short while, I figure because Bert is trying to make sense of my words.

"Oh." He drags out. "Confused..." I nod, still not looking at his face.

"Go to prom with me?" I randomly blurt out, for sure confusing the living shit out of the boy.

"What the fuck?" He laughs. "Dude that was so random." I shrug.

"Well, sorry, it just came to my mind. It's next month, tickets start going on sale next week..." I hear Bert sigh, before stepping to my closed together figure and gently squeezing my upper arms.

"Fine, I'll go with you." My eyes light up and I finally make eye contact with him. "Ah ah ah, on one condition." I roll my eyes before agreeing. "You sort yourself out. Fix whatever you've got with Mr. Iero."

"But-" I'm cut off by his lips chastely pecking mine before he rests his forehead against my own.

"I- I'm going to admit" Bert's voice quivers. "that I'm damn infatuated with you, Gerard. But I'm not going to be selfish here. I've seen Frank slowly deteriorating the past couple days, how he'd longingly look at you when the whole class was busy with group worksheets. I can tell he's scared. He doesn't know what the fuck he could've done wrong, because, well, he didn't do a damn thing. Seeing that is hurting even me, you know? That's saying something. He- he loves you. He's given you new life this school year. All these first experiences in living, in living a life with love, he's given those to you-"

"W-what if I... I think I want those experiences with you?" Bert immediately shakes his head. "Don't be an idiot. You don't. You're gonna fix things, okay? I know you want to, even if your present conscience is telling you that you don't."

"But doesn't it hurt? If you like me? Seeing me with him?" Bert blinks his eyes rapidly, both from being unexpectedly hit with my questions, and what appears to also be trying to hold back a couple tears.

"Well, of course it hurts, but-"

"Then why are you telling me to fix my predicament with hi-"

"Because I'll be fine as long as you're happy, dammit." Bert's voice raises, ever so slightly. I stare at him. I'm really at a loss for words. "He's you belong with. Everybody can see it. Your friends see it, your family sees it, I'm pretty sure his friends that know about you two see it as well." I try to open my mouth to speak, but I can't manage. I really don't know what on earth I want to say. Bert merely sighs before continuing on.

"I know your friends don't trust me, no matter how they try. And I know some of them, if not all them, are trying to understand me. But they don't, Gerard. I always see something in the back of their eyes. They're on alert. Because I'm the boy that treated you like a prostitute. What fucking scum does that?"

"Donald Trump." I pipe up quietly. Bert locks eyes with my shy expression before bursting out in laughter. "Oh God, you actually managed to make me cry laughing, look at that." His fits are dying down as he wipes the few lonesome tears that fell down his face. I chuckle at his demeanor. "But hey, back to the topic. Seriously. I'm not stopping now. Where was I, oh, yeah yeah. I'm pretty sure your mom gets bad vibes from me, too."

"She's just being the stereotypical mom watching out for the punk ass rebellious teenage boys." The look Bert gives me makes me turn my head away and blush. "Okay, well, maybe not."

"Just, talk to Frank, okay?" Bert exasperates.

"That's why he called.. I- we're gonna talk at seven. Because you're here right now, and we gotta review for the test, yaknow? And-"

"Well then, let's get reviewing, dummy." Bert smiles before ruffling my once-again shaggy hair.

-

Frank's POV

It's seven. I'm nervous as fuck. Gerard and I had confirmed that we'd do this over Skype. I've got my guitar at the ready, and my computer arrow ready to accept Gerard's call. I get especially anxious when it reaches 7:01 without a call. But not a nanosecond later is the notification and the familiar bubbly Skype ring sounding through my quiet home. I accept after composing myself.

"Frank, why-why do you have your guitar?" The boy I've come to love hopelessly asks after taking my appearance in from the pixel quality of his own video camera feedback.

"You remember that recent Kurt Cobain documentary, right?"

"Of course."

"Well... then, yeah." I take a breath. "Here goes." I whisper to myself before I start up the simplistic melody on my ever so slightly out of tune acoustic.

She gives me everything

And tenderly

The kiss my lover brings

She brings to me

And I love her

I hear Gerard's sharp intake of breath, but don't look up. I want to focus on what I want to get across.

Bright are the stars that shine

Dark is the sky

I know this love of mine

Will never die

And I love her

I feel myself become one with the music, almost channeling the feelings of the late Kurt Cobain.

A love like ours

Could never die

As long as I

Hold you near me

Bright are the stars that shine

Dark is the sky

I know this love of mine

Will never die

And I love her

"Frankie..." Gerard whispers. I look up as I play to see Gerard's beautiful eyes watering and watch the tears fall down his soft cheeks as soon as I make eye contact. My playing eventually fades to nothing as we merely stare at one another.

"I-I know the pronouns are 'her' in this and obviously you don't go by 'her', and, well, I mean, I could've very easily changed it to 'him' but for some idiotic reason that didn't come to my mind until literally just now, dammit-"

"Frankie." Gerard stops me from rambling too much. His voice is sturdy, but gentle. My eyes grow wide from the interruption.

"Y-you called me by my nickname..." I finish off my sentence quieter than I had started, but I'm in a daze. I just now realized my Summertime called me the one thing that only he calls me. A name that I have missed so much, albeit it only being a week since I heard it from his beautifully soft voice. My heart is beating wildly. I was never more aware of how I truly feel about him than I am right in this moment.

"I bet you want to know about my behavior this past week." He pipes up timidly, afraid to bring up the subject that lingered in the virtual air between us. I nod. Of course I want to know. He takes in a slow breath before releasing it, taking his time. "Recently, I've, um.. become very, well, confused. Um, about my feelings. I'm still confused."

"Confused... about your feelings?" I feel my heart drop to my stomach. No, wait, go up to my throat.

"No, no, Frankie don't. Don't panic, I- I'm still positive I want to be with you. Okay?"

"I love you." I randomly blurt out, almost smacking my mouth closed after I say it, but forcing my hand to remain in its place resting on my knee. Gerard smiles adoringly.

"I know."

"Why don't you say it back? Y-you used to always say you missed me and you always said it back to me. The phone call this afternoon? You know? I-I almost had a mental breakdown, I felt myself shutting off, and-"

"I love you, too, Frankie." The boy interrupts me yet again.

"I-I.."

"I'm sorry if I've lost your trust, fuck, I can tell you're doubting my words."

"No, no, not doubting them, not at all, just... speechless. You don't know how long I've craved hearing that from you." I see the expression on Gerard's face change to an almost pained look.

"I've hurt you." He whispers. "I've hurt you to the point where you were desperate internally to hear them from me."

"All that matters is that we've gotten over this little thing." I watch Gerard as he nods his head, giving himself determination to accept my words.

The rest of the night we revive ourselves. We converse, we laugh, we're happy.

We finish the night with a kiss. Though our computer screens may have been in need of a cleaning, all we care about is that it's the closest way we can finally share a meaningful kiss again. Even if it is just a virtual image preventing us from experiencing one another with all five senses.

-


	33. What's The Worst That I Can Say?

Gerard's POV

The day was March 3rd, a Thursday. My mom had received a call at precisely 6:27 in the morning on a particularly cloudless, warmer day. Mikey and I were still sound asleep. It was of natural causes, they claimed. Very peaceful, they also said.

The day was March 3rd, a Thursday, and it was the day that Elena Lee Rush passed away. It was in her sleep, the doctors had diagnosed. Her death occurred in the early morning hours. Between two and four is what they predicted.

Very sudden, believe me, I know. But she was in her mid-80s. Though she was extremely lively and upbeat for someone her age, the way she needed help doing simple things was obvious.

And now here I am, by myself up in my room, sitting on my messy bed with a fresh tear-stained, blotchy red face. I'm not crying at the moment, I just feel numb if anything. The whole household is numb with wet faces right now. Mikey's down with Mom in the kitchen, though. I hear their muffled, depressed sounding voices. I'm so beyond out of it that I didn't notice when my mother sat down gently beside me until she wrapped her arm around me.

"Don't thing about asking me how I'm holding up. Because believe me, that's the stupidest question." I mumble, a lonesome tear trickling down my flushed cheek.

"I came to check on you. As soon as the words left my lips you came right back up here and slammed your door so hard I could have sworn it shook the house."

"Well, that's not surprising, so." Donna sighs quietly to herself beside me. I figure due to my behavior. But what else would she expect?

"Do you want me to get you anything? Any food requests?"

"I want my grandmother." More tears trek down. Another sigh from my middle-aged mom.

"Honey, you know I ca-"

"Yes, I damn know you can't do anything but that doesn't stop me from wanting her back, does it?" After a moment of silence between the two of us, I break down yet again. "I just want to lay down."

"Well go ahead. You two aren't going to school today, anyways. You wouldn't be able to focus, you need to grieve. Me, on the other hand, I'm going to work. It's hard for me to afford to miss a day until I get a better job."

"O-okay. I'll eat food when I wake up, because I just want to sleep." My voice replies with rasp.

"Do you promise that?"

I exasperate a huge sigh. "Yes, and I'll make sure Mikey eats, too, okay?" I sass. My mother nods before kissing my forehead, bidding a farewell and an 'I love you' before closing my door and going downstairs to Mikey, where he was in the living room, having decided to stay awake and pass the time with t.v. Before Mom even left for work, I heard her on the phone. I couldn't tell what she was saying or who she was on the phone with, but I only knew because I heard her muffled voice. Then I continued to cry away my pain. I cried myself to sleep.

When I wake, I am surprised to find it nearing noon. "Damn. I wasn't expecting to sleep that much." I make my way downstairs to brew some coffee. While waiting for that, I make a bowl of cereal.

"How're you holding up?" I turn around to the source of my younger brother. "What do you me- oh." I felt fine when I woke up. I completely forgot. Sudden, immense sadness overcame me. "I... I totally forgot." I whisper, my arms slumping to my sides, becoming useless noodles.

"I still have trouble processing it.." Mikey trails off. I watch tears slowly form on his longer face before sighing.

"Come here." He looks up to me baffled, so I hold out my arms. "Come on." I jerk my head minimally back, signaling I want his butt over here. He smiles as tears trickle down before welcoming himself into my arms, and we embrace. Our hug is tight, our emotions needing time to be let out through the comfort of another person.

"I think it hurts more because as we got older we saw her less and less." Mikey says, muffled by my sweatshirt. "It still hurts a fuck ton." He adds after a second, to which I nod indefinitely in reply and understanding.

"I'm just thankful that we got to have her over for Christmas." I say, the sadness beyond evident in my voice. Mikey's head nods enthusiastically in agreement.

"Oh, I don't know how worse off I would've been if we couldn't have seen her." Suddenly I feel myself choking up again and the rush of hot tears coming up unexpectedly and uncontrollably.

"C-can we not talk about this, p-please?" I feel Mikey squeeze me suddenly.

"Wh-? Oh! Oh, Gee, yes, of course. Let's go watch shit, okay? Whatever you want."

"Game of Thrones?" Mikey nods with a smile on his face.

"Finally expressing interest in starting that show, thank God." I chuckle, almost as if I were desperate to not be miserable.

"Might as well."

-

Mikey and I had just finished the third episode of Game of Thrones, and holy shit why didn't I start watching it sooner?! I personally like how intriguing and mysterious Little Finger is, while Mikey is all for Tyrion.

It was when we were maybe fifteen minutes into the fourth episode that there was a knock on the door. "What the fuck?" I mumble. I look to Mikey but he only shrugs, pausing the show. "I'll get it." I stand up before Mikey can and head to the door, opening it and not caring I'm in my pajamas and probably ...most definitely... look like shit.

"Hey, Baby." Frank's soft voice is a welcome sound to my ears, and definitely much needed.

"Frank..." I gasp with glee.

"I came to see you." He says almost awkwardly, like he doesn't know what to say next or hold a conversation properly.

"No, I totally thought you were here to see Mikey." I roll my eyes with a smirk, making the man laugh.

"Alright, alright. Shut up and let me in."

"Mmmmm nah, you're missing something first." I watch as Frank's eyebrows furrow and his face turns to one of confusion.

"What....?" Frank robotically looks around at our surroundings, as if that would help him figure out what he could possibly be forgetting. I chuckle at my boyfriend's naivety, making him look back with a small but confused smile. "What?! Seriously." His smile is wide and welcoming now, and doesn't fail to melt my heart. I look him straight in the eyes before ever so slowly puckering my lips, pointing to the waiting source. Frank looks on for a second before it finally clicks. He laughs to himself and shakes his head, most likely internally shaming himself of stupidity. Frank steps forward to me and rests his fingers under my chin before placing his lips on mine. The both of us sigh into the kiss, almost as if it were a stress reliever.

"I needed that." I whisper. Franks nods and rests his forehead on mine while wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close.

"I know... um, you know... your mom called me this morning. I heard about.. you know. I actually had to stop at the employee bathroom at school to think things over and well.. I cried myself, actually. Baby, I just don't know what to think, and I'm sorry. Beyond belief. That's why I'm here. I'm here for you to cuddle, rant about shit, maybe get your mind off things. Your mom had asked me to come over sometime today, whenever I could." My eyes water up again at hearing this news.

"Oh, Frankie." I put both my hands on his face, and kiss him ever so gently. "Thank you." I whisper on his lips.

"Let's get inside. I had the genius idea that we could watch some Star Wars."

-

At 7:15 the three of us are just barely into The Empire Strikes Back. I'm in between my brother and Frank, cuddled into Frank's left side with his arm around me, rubbing circles with his thumb on my hipbone when my mom arrives with three boxes of pizza.

"Frank! You're welcome to stay. I figured you'd be around so that's why I have three boxes, when usually I get two."

"I'd love to. Thank you." Frank perks up. He reaches over to the remote and pauses the movie. "Come on, Gee, let's eat."

"But I wanna watch Star Wars." I mumble into his neck, huddling closer to his frame.

"Oh, we can eat in here. I'll just get some paper plates. How's Coke sound for a drink?" We all give approval as Mom walks away to the kitchen.

"Yay, play Star Wars now." I say, in an almost child-like quality, with an immature, innocent smile on my face. Frank looks me dead in the eye before chuckling a little and kissing my forehead.

"Sometimes I swear you're actually 5." Frank plays the movie before settling back into the couch, where I immediately swung my legs over his lap and wrapped my arm around his waist, pecking his cheek. "Oh my God, cuddly much, today?" He smiles and kisses my forehead before Donna returns with the plates and canned beverages.

"Let's dig in, boys!" We all settle in after getting our meals before she speaks up again. "I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but I actually had to start planning the funeral today at work, and I'm aiming for Sunday, maybe around one pm, okay? I think the sooner the better for us. That way we won't start to be moving on by the time the funeral happens and it happen to break open our wounds." Mikey and I nod our heads in despondent approval. "Frank, I'd love it if you could come, only if you wanted to that is."

"Of course I'll come, Donna. After being around her for three days made her feel like my own grandmother. I wouldn't dream of missing it."

"I'm sure Gerard will need you there with him, anyways." I smile small because my mother is right. I would not be able to get through it with only Mikey and her there to attempt at soothing me. I feel Frank wrap his arm around my lower back and kiss my temple briefly.

"Okay then, Sunday it is." I look over to my mom to see an immense sadness wipe over her features, before it's gone in an instant. I know this is harder on her than me. She lost her mother. And she has to plan the funeral. I don't know how I'll be able to cope when my mother dies. I don't want to think about it. I'll just start crying harder.

Around 9:30 is when the second film finished, and we all decided to call it a night. Frank even went up to my room with me to tuck me in and give me goodnight wishes. I was overwhelmed with happiness at his action.

"Sleep well, Dove. I'll see you Sunday. I love you." He went to kiss my forehead then leave, but I weakly pulled him back to me and kissed him properly, how I wanted. Then he saw his way out of our home.

-

It's Sunday. I had woken up this morning with a very bad feeling. I felt awful physically and mentally. To be truthful, the whole house has a whole negative, depressing vibe going on. I feel it constantly hanging around me and my family members, as if sadness carried itself in a physical form of little dark clouds over our heads.

"Oh yay, it's raining. What a perfect setting." Mikey mopes from the living room window, dressed and ready to go, us both clad in all black with red ties.

"Oh, Michael come on now. At least be civil enough to carry conversation at the ceremony." Mom turns her attention to me. "Frank still going to meet us at the chapel?" I nod distantly as I join Mikey by the window and stare outside, my gaze becoming unfocused as my mind wanders.

"Ray, Lindsey, Pete, and everybody are gonna be there, too, you know. Even Bert, I think. All for our moral support. It's nice." Mikey quietly mumbles out.

"Bert?" Mikey casts a sideways glance at me. "But he never even knew Elena."

"Yes, that's true, and some of our friends didn't meet her either. But that's not stopping them from attending the funeral. They're doing this for us, Gee, and I just processed that last night when I lay awake unable to fall asleep." I grunt absentmindedly. "You may not feel it at times, but they really do care. I'm really grateful for them, especially now."

"I still don't understand why Bert's going."

"It's going right over your head, isn't it, Gerard? He's going because he cares. More for you than me, but he cares."

"You boys ready?" It takes half an hour to get there and we need to be a little early." Mom snaps us out of our conversation as she walks to the front door, grabbing her purse and car keys.

-

The church looks intimidating in the gloomy, wet weather of today. But once stepped inside, my breath is taken away. Even if somebody isn't part of the faith, it only takes in idiot to not appreciate the unique architecture and beautifully designed stained glass windows that loom down from the front and the sides of the echoing building.

"This is where your grandma got married. She was always absolutely in love with this place."

"She got married here?" I reply to my mother in astonishment, to which she nods solemnly.

"This was her parish ever since she was little, she was baptized here, had her first communion here, and got confirmed, all within these walls. I know some part of her left when she could no longer come here for her usual Sunday Mass. So, I figured it was fitting to have her funeral ceremony here, she'd be happy to be back."

"Yes she would." I spot the open casket at the front, placed in front of the church's alter. I feel my breathing hitch in my throat and my legs wobble. I don't want to see her dead. My legs feel as if they're going to collapse under me when I feel hands on my hips, steadying me.

"Good thing I got here when I did, huh?" Frank speaks quietly.

"Frank." I breathe out with my eyes wide. Immediately I wrap my arms around his all-black clad self, except for his white and black striped tie, and breathe in his scent, faint of cigarettes and dog. His arms secure themselves around me and he squeezes me before taking my hands and kissing one of them.

"I'm here for you, okay? Cry on my shoulder if you need to, hell, even punch my arm." I smile at his offer and laugh a little as a tear slips down my pale face.

"I'm so glad you're here, Frank. Ceremony should be starting in ten minutes so you two go ahead and take a seat." We sat in the front row with Mikey, him having saved a spot for our mother on his other side. Frank not once lets go of my hand, which is reassuring to me. Not five minutes later, my friends take the row behind us.

"Looks like red and black was our unintended memo, wasn't it?" Ray asks, gesturing to Mikey and I.

"Red and black are the ultimate color duo anyways, so." Mikey chimes.

"Yeah- hey, Frank why didn't you get the unintended red and black memo?" I shoot towards my boyfriend, gesturing to his very not red tie.

"Hey, maybe I don't have a red tie right now, and besides, Ray's shirt isn't black, it's white-"

"With black stripes."

"My tie has black stripes."

"Yes, but you don't have any red on."

"Ah, whatever." Frank gives up with a smile. I smile lovingly at his nature around my friends before I unexpectedly get hugs from behind from all of them, Lindsey kissing my mop of hair when she got around to me, then they all went at hugged Mikey.

"You two are coming to my house afterwards, we're all gonna help keep your minds off things." Andy says. And while I appreciate the offer, I'm not feeling up to it.

"The offer's nice, Andy, but I think I'd like to spend the rest of the day with Frank. We haven't had time really to ourselves in a couple months, I miss him." I feel Frank squeeze my hand after those words pass my lips. "But you go ahead and go with them, okay Mikes?" At that moment I see Bert walking up the aisle towards us from the corner of my eye. When we make eye contact he smiles sympathetically at me. I can't help myself when I stand up and walk the rest of the short distance between us and put my arms around his shoulders to hug him.

"I didn't know you were coming until Mikey told me today."

"Of course I'd come." Bert smiles.

"Well, thank you. For coming." I mumble into his shoulder before unlatching myself from our hug. When I turn around I notice Frank whip his head, as if he was trying to not get caught watching us. I look over my shoulder once more to grin at Bert before heading back to Frank, everybody in the chapel starting to settle in the pews now.

"You okay?" I whisper to Frank. He just nods and takes my hand again.

The funeral lasts an hour and a half total. I don't hold out very well. I'm able to keep in a lot of my emotions but I can't help the tears that seem to be streaming down at a constant rate. Near the end, my tears had dried up, but that meant time for everybody to wish Elena well in her open casket if they wanted to. When I went up, that's when the tears came full force. Frank was by my side the entire time, hand securely on my waist and keeping me close. I let out a choked sob that echoed loudly throughout the walls when my eyes first laid on her serene state. 'Beautiful', I remember thinking. My friends all hurdled around me when my knees gave out after bidding her farewell and 'I love you.' The final ones directly to her face. I had made it down the stairs on wobbly legs but the last step I took, I was gone. I sunk to my knees and wailed. I ignored the exclamations of concern from everybody, I ignored Frank frantically whispering in my ear trying to calm me down, I ignored Dallon and Bert rubbing my back, Lindsey rubbing my thigh.

Finally I snap. I let out a low grunt and stand up quickly, taking some steps forward to be a distance from everybody where they had crowded me in the aisle.

"She's dead!" I shout. "Why is she dead?!" I direct my eyesight to the ceiling, questioning God. "Why do this me? Why now? I lost my father and now my grandmother!" I frantically circle around a couple times where I stood, looking at my surroundings with my eyes wide and watery. "I can never hear her laugh again. She can never console me when I need her most!" Everybody looks concerned for me, I swore I saw a tear trickle down Lindsey's face. My voice is raised, that is until I make eye contact with Bert. Now my voice lowers. "You." I practically growl. I walk to him. "You," My voice cracks when I reach him and grasp the shoulders of his dress shirt in my balled up fists. "distracted me. I forgot about my grandmother. Forgot to give her something for Christmas, you know? Because you and your damn blue eyes, McCracken. I was caught up in being around you and wanting to be around you that I forgot. I could've been thinking about the most important person in my life but I forgot because of you and your fucking contagious personality. I hate y-" Frank wraps his arms around my waist from behind and pulls me away from Bert's shocked and definitely now slightly crying state.

"No! Let me go! I wasn't done- agh." I try and pull Frank's arms off of me, step on his feet, something.

"Gerard, come on. Stop, Dove. Breathe." That makes me wriggle more in his grasp as he continues to pull me away, towards the front entrance.

"No!" Everybody is still staring, shocked and scared, at my outburst of unusual behavior. Frank kisses the back of my head, doing anything he can think of to help me.

"I'm sorry-" Bert whispers. I'm unable to hear it, but I see him mouth something. Only my friends and my mother and brother standing with him can hear what he said.

"Why are you dead, Elena?! Why did you leave me here? Why?" I feel myself growing weaker as my shouts get quieter and my head feels very light. "She's... dead." I mumble, my body going limp in Frank's hold. He grunts at the sudden weight he has to try to keep up, and I feel myself nodding in and out.

"I love.. you ...Grand... Grandma." I whisper, wanting her near me, hugging me, kissing me goodnight. "So long." And to put it bluntly, I faint. I'm unaware of Frank whisking me up into his arms bridal style, I'm unaware of my mother rushing over before everyone else and stroking my hair out of my face and kissing my forehead. I'm unaware of Pete and Ray helping Frank get me into the backseat of his car and securing me safely as I lay across the seats. Also unaware of Hayley and Lindsey holding hands tightly, scared at what they just witnessed their shy, awkward best friend go through. I'm unaware of Frank assuring my mom that he can handle this, and telling her to soothe Mikey, because he apparently looked quite shaken, before Frank gets into his driver's seat and starts the ignition, looking back to me worriedly before driving off.

What I'm also utterly unaware of is Bert, standing at the entrance of the chapel, getting soaked in the rain, his tears hidden and heartbroken, as he watched Frank drive off with my unconscious form.

-


	34. He Finally Expresses Himself

Gerard's POV

I hadn't gone to school for the next week after the incident. I've just been down lately. Though when I woke up later that Sunday evening in Frank's arms, my mood was lifted. Despite it being only momentarily. We had continued our Star Wars marathon until nearly one into Monday morning. Frank had offered to drive me home, as if he knew that I was not wanting to go to school. But here we are. Monday morning a week later, and my mother is forcing me to go to school claiming that I'm, "not the only one who lost someone important to them."

Besides, I know my friends are worried. I've ignored all texts and calls from them. And apparently they had even stopped by at different points, but me being in a total stump, I was sleeping each time they came. Bad timing on their part. According to Mikey, Bert came around every day, wanting to speak to me about God knows what. And that thought has perturbed me to the bone. I remember what hectic craze I went through. I remember every God forbidden word I said to him. And I feel awful. If there were any moment I could rewind time and fix, it would be that.

"Come on, Gee, I'll drive." Mikey solemnly said to me while I sipped at coffee in the kitchen while my mind wandered. So I nodded, dumped the rest of my drink down the sink and followed my little brother out the door.

When we arrived and walked into the building, it felt like a million eyes were on us, or mainly, me. I don't know if word got around or what, but it made my self-esteem plummet.

Great, just what I needed right now.

"Gee!" A voice shrilled, and when I turned to the source, my left side was whacked with another body as arms wrapped tightly around my neck. One inhale of air and I knew who it was by the smell of her hair.

"Lindsey." I breathed out. I returned her hug, surprisingly grateful for her heavenly presence. "God, I missed you." The two of us laughed.

"Fuck yeah you better because for some reason you just had to be sleeping every time I stopped by." Lindsey finally removed herself from me and put either of her delicate hands on my face. She smiled widely and moved quickly to kiss my forehead.

"Um... do you know any particular reason as to why it feels like the whole student body is staring at me?"

"Oh... um, Bert came to school looking totally wasted or high or something. People claimed to have heard him muttering your name. I don't know what other things he was saying along with your name. I even asked him during lunch and he just shook his head and waved off my concern." My face fell as her words left her lips. "Don't worry though, he's been fine. Just kinda out of it." Lindsey added quickly afterwards, like my worry was obvious. "Oh, um, since you were gone all week you missed the announcement for the yearly talent show. It's this weekend, auditions are today and tomorrow. We always go, so how about you join us all? I think it'll cheer you up. And we can go out and get ice cream afterwards!" I giggle at my best friend's enthusiasm.

"That sounds really nice, Linds. I'll go, okay? Otherwise I won't hear the end of it from you and it'll drive me up a wall."

"Look who decided to finally show up." Dallon's voice fills my senses from my other side and I'm welcomed with him and Hayley holding hands and everybody else finding their ways to where myself, Mikey, and Lindsey are. And before I know it, I'm swollen up into a big group hug. Collective words of love and caring come from all the amazing humans around me, and I can't help the huge smile that breaks out on my face.

"Ah, there he is! He's back! Cheers!" Andy says before squeezing my shoulder, everybody literally cheering for me and causing a scene no doubt.

"Alright, alright!" I laugh, the smile never faltering on my face. It's actually starting to hurt a bit. So then my friends start chatting away, making plans for the talent show about carpooling, etc. I laugh at something that Ray said when I catch gazes with Bert down the hallway. My smile immediately falters. And I know sorrow wipes over my features because I feel Pete rub my upper shoulders soothingly. "I- I need to apologize to Bert. All I said at the... the funer- well, it was all a lie and I didn't mean any of it." But before I can walk towards him, he's already turning the corner to go to whatever class he has.

"I think he's got study hall first bell this semester. All last week I saw him in the music room with a guitar. I didn't even know he could play guitar, honestly." Hayley mentions to me when she catches me staring where he walked off to. Everybody else had parted ways to go to their classes.

"Oh.. his dad got him into guitar when he was little but... as far as I knew it's been a while since he even sat down with one and played."

"Maybe something fueled him to pick it up again." She mentioned.

"Yeah... maybe."

-

The whole week had passed normally. People stopped staring at me, nobody had even come to ask me about what could've been going on, which I found stupid really. If you care so much about gossip why not ask a person involved to solidify whatever thoughts you may or may not have had? Oh well. I got an A on a math test on the section that I missed when I moped around all last week, which required a lot of catching up and staying up late, but I managed. I feel like that this whole week and doing make up work was a glimpse for me into college life. Which, speaking of college, I got accepted into all the colleges I applied to but one! Now's choosing whether I go to Berkeley, New York University, School of Visual Arts, or the one I took a whim on: California College of the Arts. I wasn't expecting to even think about going there, but I applied for the heck of it. But the more I think about, the more appealing it is. SVA is my top choice, of course. Recently Frank has really been pushing me to do this, because he had nobody in his life that four or five years ago when he was in my position to motivate him to go for music. He didn't want me to be unhappy doing something that I felt stuck in. And he's requested me to draw random little things, like drawing exercises in a way. He's actually got them hung up on his fridge in his home. And I can't lie and say it doesn't fluster me deep down.

And now I sit upon the couch with Mikey. We're waiting for Lindsey to come with Pete to pick us up and head to the talent show. I had texted Bert and asked if he was gonna be there tonight, and he had replied right away that he was, but not to worry about him getting a ride. Not wanting to worry to deeply about it, I left it at that and told him I'd see him there, also that I really wanted to talk to him. But he hadn't replied to that. I just didn't let it rattle my bones. Tonight was supposed to a fun night out with friends, and I wouldn't let my mood put a damper on things.

"Let's go!" Mikey jumped up after glancing down at his phone. A text, I presumed. "Bye, Mom!" We called upstairs, since our mother was putting away laundry that she had neglected for weeks, much like Mikey and I do.

"Have fun!"

When the two of us climbed into the car, I was surprised to find that Pete was actually in the backseat, and Mikey quickly joined him, leaving me to take shotgun.

"Ready to be amazed by the amazingly talented of our school and honestly probably laugh at the not so good ones?" Lindsey riled up with a grin.

"Fuckin' ready!" Mikey laughed. At that moment Lindsey cranked up the radio, which was playing Cirice by Ghost B.C. and headed off. God, I missed nights like this. Occasionally when I glanced in the rearview mirror, I saw Mikey was blushing or talking vividly with Pete. And now that I paid attention to it, I saw Mikey was actually sitting in the middle seat directly next to Pete instead of the seat right behind me, which would've given them some breathing room. I scrunched up my eyebrows and narrowed my eyes as I looked at the two of them through the mirror. I must've hummed something while racking my brain for some thought process because Lindsey got my attention. I hadn't realized we were at a red light quite close to school already. She signaled for me to lean forward towards her.

"You notice something between them, too?" She whispered. I nodded my head automatically.

"Actually I have since the Christmas dance. Both at the dance and back at your house when we slept over." She nodded her head enthusiastically.

"Me too!" She whispered back with excitement. "My gut's saying we gotta keep an eye on them. I gotta know what's up, fam, this type of suspicious stuff is my shit- oop, green light!" Lindsey said, breaking away from me and stepping on the gas. Within the next five minutes we were back at school. Lindsey parked in her spot and we all got out. Hayley and Dallon were already there waiting for us, and after another five minutes, Ray and Andy showed up.

"Ticketsssss let's get tickets I wanna get at least semi-good seats." Pete exclaimed. Mikey followed close behind him in agreement. Lindsey and I just shared a look.

"Are you guys seeing something just as much as I am?" Ray questioned us.

"You see it, too?!" Lindsey replied.

"Dude, we all see it." Hayley chimed in. "We just don't say anything to their faces because we know getting any truth from them is hopeless.

"What about the Kristin girl Mikey brought to the dance? Doesn't he like her?" Dallon asked, thinking about the girl that I actually haven't seen in ages.

"Holy shit, I actually haven't heard from her in a while... should I ask him about it?" The five friends around me nodded their heads automatically. "Okay.. let's just get seated, yeah?"

Our seats were surprisingly very good despite the crowd. They were maybe five rows back from the front, and in the middle section. Perfect spot for viewing the stage, if you ask me. Hayley was absentmindedly flipping through the program when she suddenly exclaimed, "Holy shit!"

"What is it?" Andy asked from the opposite side of Dallon.

"Bert's on here. I... I think he's an act. Wait, yeah, he's definitely an act. God it says he's doing an original song."

"What?" I asked, shock very obvious in my voice. "Well that explains why he told me he'd be here but not to worry about him needing a ride..."

"Yeah, he'd have had to be here early anyways."

"Woah, okay, this explains why I saw him in the music room a lot for the past two weeks!" Hayley brought up.

"Oh my God, yeah, I saw him too. I actually went in there to jam but found him there. We got talking about guitars and shit. I didn't know he played."

"None of you knew he played." I said absentmindedly when I looked through my own copy of the program to confirm with myself that Bert was indeed an act tonight.

"And you did?" Pete asked from beside me, making me nod as I continued to intently read the paper in my hands.

"Yes. I've been to his apartment, remember? He needed help with Chemistry so I offered to tutor him. Ring any bells? That's the whole reason we're friends in the first place. We would never have got around to talking if he didn't need help and asked me."

"Hello, everybody! Welcome to Belleville High's annual talent show! We've got a variety of magicians, dance acts, comedy skits, and musical performers. We will have an intermission halfway through with refreshments and snacks. The exits are to both sides of the stage and behind you all where you entered in case of an emergency. Sit back and enjoy!" The school's notorious drama teacher came onto the stage enthusiastically, and the night began.

Overall, all the acts so far were impressive. We reached intermission and everyone was buzzing about the magic act that was beyond amazing for someone of a high school age. I bet when the kid's a senior they're gonna be voted "next Houdini" for the yearbook.

Bert's a few acts in after the intermission. And well, the group of us, minus Pete and Mikey, were secretly watching the two of them with suspicion.

"They're acting like a grade school couple who are 'dating' but are afraid to hold hands." Dallon piped up as we waited for them to return from the beverage section so we could all go back to our seats.

"Yeah, seriously. Oh well, let's just get seated. They'll join us when they decide to actually use their feet and walk." Lindsey joked as she turned around to go back into the darkened auditorium. The rest of us followed behind in single file, because wow, it was crowded.

Finally, the acts were started back up. And with every passing minute, I was getting more and more anxious about Bert's act. I knew he could play guitar, but since the program said he was performing an original song, did that mean he was singing as well? God, I hope he does well. I wonder what the song will be about. Maybe how he discovered who he wanted to be and left his old ways behind? I have no idea. My head was overthinking this so much that I didn't notice Bert walk on stage until Lindsey nudged my shoulder, where I looked up in a flash. And honestly, my heart overturned when I saw him. Guilt overrode my body when I thought of the fact that two weeks had passed since the funeral and I've yet to be able to talk to him. I wanted to apologize properly; face to face.

"Um, hi, I'm Bert and I wrote this song so I figured 'why not try it out for this?' and yeah... my friend Tyler over there is helping out with the piano. It was last minute so that's why his name isn't in the program, but, yeah. Hope you all like it. It's called 'Smother Me'." Soon Tyler's piano playing softly filled the auditorium and a sweet, mellow tune filled everybody's ears. I'm sure everybody was calm and enjoying it peacefully except me, who was antsy and sitting upright like a rod in my seat. And then Bert started singing.

Let me be the one who calls you baby all the time

My eyes widen. Not only is his voice beautiful, but those words are eating at me.

Surely you can take some comfort knowing that you're mine

Just hold me tight, lay by my side

And let me be the one who calls you baby all the time

I found my place in the world

Could stare at your face for the rest of my days

Now I can breathe, turn my insides out and smother me

Warm and alive I'm all over you

Would you smother me?

Let me be the one who never leaves you all alone

I hold my breath and lose the feeling that I'm on my own

Hold me too tight, stay by my side

And let me be the one who calls you baby all the time

I found my place in the world

Could stare at your face for the rest of my days

At that line, I look back into Bert's face from watching his guitar skills to see him looking at me, but when I make eye contact, he quickly looks away. I bite my lip and sit back in my seat, nearly awestruck.

Now I can breathe, turn my insides out

And smother me

Warm and alive I'm all over you

Would you smother me? Smother me, smother me

When I'm alone time goes so slow I need you here with me

And how my mistakes have made your heart break

Still I need you here with me

So baby I'm, baby I'm here

Now I can breathe, turn my insides out

And smother me

Warm and alive I'm all over you

Would you smother me?

Now I can breathe, turn my insides out

And smother me

Warm and alive I'm all over you

Would you smother me? Smother me, smother me

Let me be the one who calls you baby all the time

Let me be the one who calls you baby all the time

Let me be the one who calls you baby, the one who calls you baby

The occupied to the max auditorium remains in a calm silence until the piano keys and guitar chords fade out into nothing, then the applause starts, slightly more continuous than the other acts, as if they all appreciated what Bert just put on for us all. Then I'm swept to my feet as my surrounding friends stand up and start cheering him. Bert's face is shocked at first then it breaks out into an amused smirk when he realizes who it is that's rooting for him. I can't help but smile and join their applause. And when we make eye contact for the second time that night, I smile at him. It's small, but that's all that's needed. He secretly returns it before mumbling a 'thank you' into the microphone and going offstage joined by Tyler.

"I wonder who that was about." I heard Hayley say to Lindsey.

"I don't know, but all I know is that person should be smothering him in kisses because it made my heart hurt it was so good."

-

After the show, everybody agreed that they wanted to go back to Andy's to stay the night, which was fine with me, of course, but I wanted to speak to Bert. I waited out with everybody as the other performers came out from the back to greet their own friends and family, but I never saw Bert. At last, Tyler came out, so I decided to go up to him.

"Hey, um, have you seen Bert?"

"What? Oh, yeah, he went out back to smoke." Tyler smiled, and I smiled back gratefully.

"Thanks so much. And good job tonight." I turned around to get Lindsey's attention as Tyler walked off. "Linds, I'll be right back. Wait up for me." After getting her approval I jogged to the side exit and went out in search for the boy I've come to know within the past few months. At first, I didn't know where the fuck I'd find him. But then my mind wandered to when I first spoke to him civilly. On the side of the school building when I was passing him to go to my car. So I went with my gut and went towards the other side of the school. And there he was, in all his punk kid glory. It took me a moment to gather what I wanted to say to him.

"I didn't know you could sing." is what I went for at last. He almost dropped his cigarette when I spoke up out of nowhere, which makes sense. It's dark and quiet outside and he's all by himself.

"Gera- um, yeah I never... I never mentioned that." I shook my head slowly as I crossed my arms lazily and walked up to him.

"No, you didn't. ...You're really good, Bert. Ever think about pursuing music?"

"Actually... as of recently, yes. I-I don't think I'm gonna go to college, though. It's not for me."

"I thought you said you wanted to. To get your dad what he deserves after all these years."

"Yeah, but college will put us further down the drain, you know? And with music, you never know if I'll kick off or not. It'll be damn hard, though." The two of us chuckle briefly.

"Well, I'll be there for you, then." I chimed in absentmindedly as I leaned against the wall, a comfortable silence falling between us. I knew he wanted to say something, though. I could see it in the physical hesitation he showed with his body movements and facial expressions. It was just a matter of finding the rights words.

"How'd you know I would be here?"

"Well, I came across Tyler and asked him if he'd seen you, and he said you went outside to smoke. After being clueless as to where you were I remembered the first time I saw you here smoking and then I kinda went with a gut feeling and came here to check. Turns out I guessed correctly." He nodded in response to my answer, and yet another silence was left. So after self-debate, I decided to speak up again. "Bert, I'm so fucking sorry about what I said to you at my grandma's funeral. I was loopy and emotional and wasn't processing my words-"

"It's okay, Ge-"

"No, I'm not done. Let me finish. I've been wanting to talk to you for the past week face to face but the opportunity never showed itself and now that it's here, I'm speaking. I'm just so grateful that you even decided to come to her funeral in the first place. You never knew her, you haven't been my friend very long, but you wanted to be there for my support. And I can't thank you enough and I can't say sorry enough for words that came out of my mouth that mean absolutely nothing. Every word I said was a lie. My grandma wouldn't have cared who I hung out with as long as they made me feel wanted, and safe, and happy. And you make me feel those things, Bert. You've never been a waste of time and you've made me really happy these past few months, so just, thank you. I'm sorry and I'm going to keep saying sorry. Because I am so fucking sorry." Once I finish rushing the words out, my eyes are damp with tears not yet fallen. "Bert, you mean so much to me." I whisper after we've stared at each other for a moment. A tear of his own trickles down Bert's cheek when I say that, and he quickly wipes it away and clears his throat.

"You know... um, it was because of that day, and all that happened, that I started really thinking. I went home after that totally drenched in rain and played my guitar non-stop the rest of the day. My fingers actually started bleeding. ...um, but anyways, just... it was that incident that made me recall like, so many encounters between you and I. Good ones, bad ones... fucking horrific ones that I don't like to remember..."

"What are you trying to say, Bert?" I whisper.

"The... the damn..." He laughs momentarily to himself, as if to shake nerve into his bones. "the song is about you, okay? I wrote it for you. I wrote it for myself to be able to express my damn feelings. ...my feelings for you." Bert whispers the end so quietly I have to lean forward a bit to catch it. And when I processed his words, I froze.

"You've known that I like you, Gerard, I know that, I can see it in the way you look at me sometimes. But that song was me just... getting it all out. It's my desires and my dreams because yes this may sound creepy but I have dreamed about you. Can't really control what I dream about though, so."

At this moment, I go with what feels right in my gut. So I step forward and place a hand on cheek and kiss him. When I break apart, I rest my forehead on his and bark a laugh. "You really fuck with my feelings, McCracken." I say.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"I mean that I feel immensely happy when I'm around my boyfriend but... um, but when I'm with you, you make me doubt everything. You make me feel just as good as he does."

"You love him, though. And.. Gerard, honestly, we've kissed how many times now? This could be considered cheating. I'm pretty positive it is cheating. I'm... now, I'm not telling you to choose, but if you loved him you'd do what's good for your relationship and stay away from me."

"W-what?" My voice quivers, stepping completely away from him.

"You know I'm right, Gee." He says quietly with definite sadness in his voice.

"Hey! There you two are!" Mikey said around the corner, and wow, thank God I moved away from Bert the time I did. "Lindsey said you told her you'd be right back but it's been nearly twenty minutes, dude. Come on, let's get going!"

"Oh, wow, um, right. Okay." I say to my brother before looking back to Bert. "Come on, we're all going to Andy's after getting ice cream."

"Oh, uh, nah, I already made plans with my friends from a different school tonight and they're probably out in the lobby waiting for me."

"Oh." I respond, surprised at how let down I felt.

"I'll, um, I'll text you, though?" I lift my head to gaze at the boy before me before smiling, though it came out more like a grimace.

"You better." I laugh before turning around to walk to my brother.

"Hey, Bert, great job tonight. Whoever that song's about is really missing out on something special." When my brother said that my head immediately snapped to his direction and I stared at him, before looking back at Bert and making eye contact, the both of us with a glint of knowing in our eyes, before I quickly look away and down at the ground. I cross my arms and kick at the gravel before grabbing Mikey's arm, mumbling a, "Come on, we gotta go."

"Yeah... really missing out." I heard Bert say despondently as we turned the corner and left him to finish his cancer stick.

-


	35. You Gotta Live Your Life to the Fullest, Right?

Gerard's POV

"You boys look so handsome!" My mother is gushing at both Mikey and I. The reason she's being like this, well, is because it's prom. Mikey's first prom and my last. "Any last minute change of plans for your after prom that I need to know about?"

"No, Mom, it's still at Pete's." Mikey piped up.

"And you left your sleepover things at his house yesterday after school, right?" The both of us nod our heads. "Gee, honey, when's your friend getting here?" Donna questioned me after getting the answer she first seeked.

"Any moment, Mom." I check my phone to see if I have any texts from my date. I didn't have any, but the thought didn't worry me because there was a knock on the door. Speak of the devil. "I bet that's him." I go to the door and open it, to reveal Bert standing before me, a single rose in his hand.

"This is all very fucking cliché isn't it?" He joked as he handed the delicate flower to me almost shyly. I slowly took it from him and looked at it. I've always favored roses if I had to choose a favorite flower. They're classic, mature, and gothic all at the same time.

"You made it cliché with the damn flower, McCracken." I smiled at him and let him in, setting the rose on the doorway cabinet, hoping my mom would see it and take care of it solely because I was too lazy to do anything about it.

"To add on to that vibe, then, you look nice." Bert gestured to my all black suit, the jacket of a sleek velvet material that hugged my waist and shoulders. I loved it, honestly. I rolled my eyes at his fitting comment.

"Yeah, yeah. So do you." I said as my two family members walked into the hallway to join us.

"We all ready to go, then?" My mom was taking the three of us to Hayley's where everybody was taking the stereotypical group photos then we were all carpooling to the hall the school rented for the dance.

"You all better enjoy tonight. Especially you two." My mom pointed to Bert and I. "It's your last prom so spend it wisely, live the last of your teenage years while you can."

-

Mikey, Lindsey, Bert, and I had carpooled with Pete. Lindsey actually sat on my lap the entire time in all her deep red, flowing dress glory. I had even kissed her shoulder blade just as a joke but she laughed and turned her upper body around to ruffle my hair before kissing my forehead. Our actions made our fellow passengers mock us in "aww" and "I'm melting" and "stop being so heterosexual".

"Oh, shush." Lindsey exclaimed. "Hey we're here! Ready for the wildest night of our lives?"

We were the last of our friend group to arrive to the school function, and it was extravagant.

"Glad you actually came this year?" Lindsey joked with a nudge to my shoulder.

"You know I was sick during prom last year so don't you dare throw shade!" I laugh at my best friend before wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her in for a quick sideways hug.

"You honestly didn't miss much. Just a stereotypical school dance with awful music. The only plus side of it was the food and getting just a lil' tipsy at Pete's afterwards. Prom is my only excuse to get drunk. I don't like to do it often but it's the one night I let myself go."

"Ah but apparently you guys went to a party on Halloween, remember?"

"Ah, yes, but the only thing I drank was some limited time Mountain Dew they had because I was really feeling it." I nodded at the woman's clarification as we reached our assigned table and sat down, waiting for the supposed heavenly food to be served. Bert sat down beside me and we shared a smile as Hayley and Dallon joined our table. Ray, Andy, Pete, and Mikey were seated at the table beside us with Ray's date; a girl I'd never met before but have heard him talk about in the past. I forget her name, though.

Within half an hour the rest of the prom attendees arrived and pictures were being taken, both by the high schoolers themselves and professionals.

My stomach was actually grumbling quite loud now. I really wanted food.

"You're gonna devour the fuck out of your food, Gee." Bert laughed after about the fifth time I stomach decided to make itself known, making the rest of the table laugh and only succeeding in making me blush.

"I'm starving, okay! I haven't eaten since breakfast!" I huff in embarrassment.

"That's on you, then, buddy ol' pal." Dallon joked, making my face scrunch up.

"Never say that again, Dallon. For your own sake."

-

Lindsey was right. The food was the best thing I've ever had on my tastebuds. I literally groaned when I first tasted the meal.

But back to, well, now, we've all been on the dancefloor dancing terribly like we all do in our own special ways.

The DJ just finished playing the one Journey song that's always played despite them having much better songs than that. But I enjoyed it nonetheless, since literally everything else was pop, rap, and country, I relished these small moments of throwback to the best of classic rock.

"Alright all, we've yet to play a slow song for you, so let's settle down, give our hearts a break to slow, and relish in these happy, small moments with the people you care about here." As the beginning of the song started playing, I was just standing there awkwardly, about to go sit down at the table, when I felt a hand gently intertwine their smaller fingers with mine. I looked down in shock to find black nail polish contrasting with smooth, white skin.

"Linds."

"Nuh-uh, you're dancing with me." I roll my eyes at her persistence before giving in while she turns around and places her arms on my shoulders (not before she messes with my hair, of course) and I, definitely awkwardly, put my hands on her waist.

"You're so shy about this." She chuckles.

"Well it's not like I don't dance with girls or anything. I-I don't know boundaries, what you're comfortable with-"

"Stop panicking, it's okay, Gee!" Lindsey pats my cheek in attempt to calm me down. "Don't worry about it, we're best friends. You shouldn't even have to worry about it." When Linds says that, I bite my lip and nod my head to reassure myself.

"Yeah, yeah. You're right."

"I know I am!" She smiles playfully before deciding to rest her head on my shoulder. It's moments like this that I miss with her. Mindless cuddles have happened less and less ever since Frank became something in my life. "Just so you know, I love you. We never say that enough and people never take that seriously, especially within friend groups. You're the first friend I made here and I'm so thankful. I felt I had to tell you that." At Lindsey's words I smile small as I give her a light squeeze.

"Stop being so cheesy during the slow song, Linds." I joke. I feel her smile and chuckle a bit, but I break our silence after a moment. "I love you, too, by the way." My voice lowers, as if it wants to relish in this simple moment between us that is becoming more and more rare for us to share. Our lighthearted conversation after that doesn't last for long before I feel a nervous tap on my left shoulder. Confused as to who could want my attention right now, I turn my head with a very evident look of perplexity. Until, that is, my eyes are met with Bert, and my face softens.

"Can I be cliché again and steal you for a dance?" I smirk at the boy before me until I feel Lindsey nudging me away from her and more towards Bert. I turn back to look at her, about to ask her a question, until she interrupts me.

"Dance with the boy, Gee. I'll just go steal Pete from your brother." She gestures to where the two of them are, and I follow the direction she pointed to, and sure enough, there Pete was, hands on my brother's waist and my brother's hands on his shoulders, dancing near the corner of the room, as if to help hide themselves away from the world.

"I thought they were being suspicious..." Bert trailed off as both Lindsey and I nodded in agreement, turning to Bert and taking his hand, much like Lindsey did to me only a minute or two prior. As Lindsey walks away giddily, I can feel the nervousness radiating off of Bert. He very clearly did not know what move to make. Sighing in mock annoyance, I take both his wrists and place his hands on my waist before I reciprocate what Lindsey did to me.

"I'm not gonna lie, this is awkward." Bert cracks up into our silence, making me chuckle.

"When aren't pre-adult dances awkward?"

"Okay, I know your question is rhetorical but I'm gonna answer with 'drunk at parties' because they have literal no care in the world. You should see some of the moves I've seen. Actually... no... don't. It's scarring."

"Knowing you, Bert, I bet you participated in that dancing, too." He stares at me when I say that and a huge, lopsided smirk grows on my face. "Mhmm... knew it."

"Shut up, I was drunk." He mumbles.

"And that's okay. I can't say I can relate because one, I've never drunk, and two, I've never danced dirty with anybody-"

"You've never been drunk?"

"I mean... I've been buzzed from a wine tasting I went to with my parents a couple years ago... that's it."

"Dude." I glare at him.

"You're making me not wanna slow dance with you. Good thing the song's almost over-"

"Wh- no! Sorry, I'm sorry. I apologize. It's just because I used to only ever be around people who drank and did drugs, so..."

"I understand, Bert. It's okay." I smile. "Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure-"

"Yes, I'm sure. Now shut up and let me enjoy this." I laugh and smile at Bert widely before once again reciprocating what Lindsey did to me and resting my head on his shoulder. That required us to step closer together, and I felt Bert's hands go from being on my waist to wrapping around my lower back. He rubbed a hand up and down soothingly before interlocking his hands together.

"Okay, now I'm enjoying this."

"It's calm and comforting, of course you're enjoying it."

"I don't get this very much."

"Well that explains why you enjoy it." I joke. I get so comfortable that I close my eyes. It's really peaceful like this. But I feel like as soon as my eyes closed, the slow song ended and some upbeat rap song I didn't know. It was so abrupt that it startled Bert and I apart. The two of us looked at each other in shock before breaking out into a fit of laughter. And that's how the rest of the night went. All of us danced, more like jumped around, to our heart's content and had a great time.

We all carpooled with the same people we came to the hall with, and headed back to Pete's house.

"Yooo this is gonna be dope." The rest of the car groans at Pete's words.

"Don't ever fucking say that ever again." Mikey complained.

"Why 'dope', Pete?" Lindsey asked, confused.

"My parents said they'd leave the house for the night, so we have the house for ourselves."

"Why on earth would your parents do that?"

"Because they're Pete's parents, Gerard, don't even start to question because you'll just get ridiculous answers in response." Lindsey rolled her eyes at Pete's excitement.

"Why on earth are you so excited, then, Petey-boy?" Lindsey mocked. He only smirked before smiling like a lunatic. "Get on with it, dude. Spill it-"

"I got alcohol." Immediately when I heard those three words my eyes shot to see Mikey's reaction, recalling his Halloween incident when he was scared to get into alcoholism because of dad. I saw something flash through his eyes (he was sitting shotgun next to Pete and I was in the backseat behind Pete, so I could see him). But overall he didn't seem phased by it. He seemed to be happy about the thought of possibly, most likely, getting drunk. Lindsey and Bert were automatically on board, whereas I remained silent.

"Hey, you don't have to do anything you don't wanna do." Bert whispered to me when he noticed my discomfort, recalling our dialogue when we slow danced. I looked up at him very briefly then looked back down at my hands in my lap before nodding my head briskly in understanding to his words. My heart was pounding as we grew closer and closer to Pete's heart. I didn't want the possibility of giving in through a weak mind and getting drunk, therefore making bad decisions I wouldn't remember.

"Let's get this party started!" Pete exclaimed when he pulled into his driveway. The rest of the car cheered except me and started to clamber out of the vehicle.

Oh God, I don't wanna be here.

-

I actually wasn't having a bad time at all. I've yet to have a drink and it's funny seeing my friends slowly getting more and more loopy by the sip.

"Guysss guysguys... let's. playagame." Pete, the one who's had the most to drink unsurprisingly, slurs in an outburst.

"Like," Dallon hiccups. "what?"

"Neverrr have I... ever. NeverhaveIever. 'N like... every time we lose, we take. A sssshot." Pete lifts empty shot glasses and the bottle of vodka he mysteriously popped out of nowhere he was drinking from. "Everybody's playing comesitdown." Pete gestured to the room as he plopped down on his ass.

"Geerard, come on!" Hayley grabbed my hand as she giddily passed me and tugged.

"Hayley, I don't wanna drink..." I tried pulling out of her grasp respectfully, but man, that tiny girl was persistent.

"Soooo? They're just shots. Small drinks. Small. ...Smol. Come on!"

"Ye-ah... Gee join us." Andy laughed along as everybody's attention was soon drawn to me. And before I knew it, they were all joining in, telling me to tag in and play.

"Dudeeeee. Live a little." My brother comes out from using the bathroom, encouraging me as well to drink.

"Thought you were afraid of drinking, Mikey." I replied determinedly.

"Because of Dad? He's weak, G-Gerard. Had a low self-esteem and all that shit. His weak mind isn't gonna stop be from having fun with my friends." He sat down next to Pete and put an arm over his shoulder and slumped all his body weight into Pete's side. "And it shouldn't stop you, either." I stand there, thoughts whizzing and whirling through my head, literal angels and devils on my shoulders telling me what to do. All eyes were on me, waiting for my decision.

"Fine." My little crowd applauded. "... People get drunk for a reason... for fun... so what if I drink a little?" I sit down between Lindsey and Bert and they both lean into me, making me the delicacy in a sandwich, almost.

I ignored the little angel on my shoulder that was seemingly ashamed at me, and listened to what sounded good to me in that moment: to get wasted with my friends for just one measly night of my life. To enjoy myself, and enjoy the shits n' giggles with friends that I may not maintain as we grow into adulthood.

-

We're well into the game, and I'm rightfully buzzed right now. Still slightly aware of what I'm doing, but definitely with a weird feeling throughout my body.

"Okay okay okay." Ray said, as it was his turn, "Never have I ever.... um... oh! Had sex with my gender.. or.. sex. Or whatever term is used." Ray hiccups after he speaks before smiling widely and giggling as there are intense discussions between people, then everybody looks at me with a glint in their eyes. I bite my lip trying to hold back a smile until I can't hold it any longer.

"Fucking dammit, fine." Everybody laughs, and I fall slightly into Lindsey's side, making her fall slightly into Hayley. "P Weezy hand me a... a shhhot." I slur with a high pitched giggle afterwards. Once handed to me, I down it instantly, scrunching up my face at the burning sensation that I'm still far from used to. "Aw dammit I've only got four left."

"At least you're not Pete, who's got one left." Dallon nudges Pete with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Accctually..." Everybody silences when Pete speaks up, and we watch with wide eyes as he brings down his remaining finger, then everybody uproars.

"Shit, dude, you've slept with a guy!?" Lindsey literally jumps up from the ground, but doesn't last long because she's so wobbly she falls right on her ass, causing an insane fit of laughter from everybody.

"Yessss I have but SHH! My memories only." He chugs his shot. "Let's hope it happens again soon." Pete winks at Mikey, making him blush and my eyes widen even further.

"No! Don't you dare Pete fucking Wentz that's my fetus brother."

"Hey!" Mikey shouts with laughter. "Letmegetroyallyfuckeduptheass." I glare at him rather drunkenly. "Because it's not like you have or anything, what's the difference?" I try to come up with an excuse to give him but find none, giving up with a huff and sitting back properly. Bert gives me a couple light pats on my shoulder, as if to say, "It's okay. He was bound to have this day come sooner or later."

"Hey! Pete has zero left! Let's do something else I can't think of anything I haven't done that I could see you all doing." Ray brings up. Everybody hums in agreement then start to think of different games we could play.

"What about 7 minutes in heaven?" Hayley asks in a quiet, petite voice.

"YES." Pete exclaims, jumping up and down somehow while sitting. The only one that remains quiet is me, solely because I've never had an instance to play and I only know a small portion of what it's about.

"What if we don't wanna do that? Can we just... startwitha kissss, then decide if wewannakeep it up... for seven minutes?" Lindsey asks, her blinking becoming slower and more delayed by the moment.

"That's just.... Just spin the bottle, silly." Ray counteracted Lindsey's offer, which made her break out into a fit of giggles.

"Oh yeah. You're right. Soooo... that."

"But what if I wanna do more than kissing?" Pete pouted, taking a swig from the bottle in his hands.

"Then do that after this, silly." Hayley waved a dismissive hand as if to say, "duh."

"Do we have a bottle?" Andy asked, and right at the moment that he finished that question, Pete lifted one up triumphantly and placed it in the middle of our little circle.

"Let's kiss people!" He shouted. Alcohol and hormonal teenagers. What a mix. And that mix was starting to kick in. Pete volunteered to go first, so he did, and we all watched impatiently as it slowed down and finally decided to stop: on Dallon. And the room being filled with teenagers, giggles surpassed from all of us until they finally leaned up to each other and placed sloppy, drunken kisses on each other. Pete took it more seriously and bit Dallon's lip when he pulled away. Next was Mikey. The bottle span, and woah, big cliché moment here, it landed on Pete. And let me tell you, I've never seen somebody so excited to be kissed in their life. When it happened, the room uproared, screaming that their most recent OTP was finally happening and pictures being shot shakily from phones. The two actually had to be broken apart from Ray and Bert. And speaking of Bert, it was his turn. He had gotten Hayley, and the kiss was cute and chaste, and hearts definitely melted.

Oh shit, wait, it's my turn. Haha. It was harder to spin the damn bottle than one would think, and my hand slipped at first, but I got it eventually. Phew. Who's it gonna land on? Huh? Hmmmmm? At first I thought it was gonna land on me and I'd have to somehow kiss myself, hah, what a funny thought, but it didn't. It landed on my best friend seated right next to me.

Lindsey fucking Ballato.

"Hi, Gee." She said before she hiccupped rather abruptly, making me snort.

"Get on with it you noobs." Ray complained. Lindsey flicked him off before suddenly grabbing my face and delicately kissing me, lasting only the briefest of seconds.

And so it continued. Lindsey then kissed Andy, Hayley kissed Mikey, Dallon kissed Ray, Andy kissed Bert, Ray kissed Pete, Pete kissed me, Mikey kissed Lindsey, Bert kissed me, then I kissed Dallon, and so on. It went on for around ten more minutes after that until Mikey and Pete started paying less and less attention to the game and more and more attention to each other. It started with subtle touches to the arm or leg, but escalated quite quickly. Then came the intense making out, which is when people bickered at them to get a room. That only led to Pete breaking apart from Mikey and smirking before standing up and taking Mikey with him upstairs from the basement to what I presumed was Pete's room.

"Now what?" Andy asked.

"Well I don't... don't know about you, but Hayley and Dallon seem tooooo be getting on the... same page as Petekey." Bert replied. And sure enough, there they were, sucking face. I giggled loudly at the ship name, and had to throw my arm on his shoulder to keep myself from falling backwards. Bert didn't mind, though. And neither did I. It was comfy.

"We're getting narrowed down by the second." Lindsey hiccupped. "ImeanIdon'twannagetlaidtonight BUT I find nothing wrong with making out with anybody left. If not then I'll just make out with my hand no biggie." The rest of us chuckled at the mental image.

"Nah, let's play video games!" Ray suggested, pointing rather ecstatically to the gaming room the Wentz' had, with insane variety of games.

"Is there Star Wars: Battlefront?" Andy asked, to which Ray nodded.

"Mhm. I was here a couple weeks ago and we played it."

"Sweet!" Lindsey exclaimed, standing up and almost tripping over the couple making out on the floor. "Oh, shit! Okay, it's fine. I'm fine. Actually, I'm gonna... get a beer. Ray Toro! Beer me!" She lifted her arms and stood up as straight as possible, really wanting her damn beer. I could see her excitement for alcohol as Ray went into the mini fridge at the bar he was previously sat against and handed her one, as well as the rest of us. Bert and I managed to stand up with the other three, but only succeeding when we got help from Andy literally giving us a hand. Yet again I nearly fell, but both Andy and Bert caught me, and I wrapped my arms over their shoulders and squeezed them close to my body, giving the two kisses to their foreheads.

"To friends! Whether we're making out or playing video games who the hell cares because we're drunk." Lindsey toasted once she got the cap off. We all cheered before clashing our bottles together and taking big swigs. My beer was in the hand that was around Bert's shoulder, and since I didn't really want to do the effort of lifting my arm up over his head, I simply pulled my arm around and drank, causing our heads to bump into each other and spill our drinks slightly on our shirts. I sideways glanced at him to catch him narrowing his eyes at me, so I only stuck my tongue out in mock and kissed his cheek. That, on the other hand, had caused me to put more body weight on his side. And you know drunken people. They can't stand for shit. So down we went. We were successful in not spilling our drinks, which was dire important in our state, but got distracted when I landed on top of him.

"Oops." I said before laughing immensely. I felt oddly uncomfortable, so I shifted my body weight so my legs were outside of his, making it easy for me to sit up. I was gonna attempt to get off of him, but when I sat up, he sat up with me. "What are you-?" I didn't finish my sentence. Mainly because Bert was looking at me weird with his really blue eyes and it made me feel funny. I'd say it was a good funny, though. Nothing bad about the funny feeling at all. His hair had fallen across his forehead, so I pushed it back past his ears and continued to play with it at the nape of his neck after I slung my arms over his shoulders. Bert was still staring at me. And it made my whole body tingle and my hands falter from messing with the back of his hair.

"Can I-" Bert got caught with a hiccup. "can I-I... kiss you?" The sentence was finished off with another hiccup. I didn't need to answer him, because all the kissing I'd done tonight made me want to do it some more, the craving of lips on mine grew at the thought, so I closed the space between us and kissed Bert roughly, and I felt him kiss back automatically. Apparently our three other friends still hadn't gone to play the game because suddenly Lindsey said, "Oh, there goes the third pair of horny teenagers well fuck. Too bad for them, more Star Wars for us."

"Let's go, Linds, Ray got it set up!" Andy tugged on Lindsey's hand while sporting three beers in his other hand for the three of them. Then they went into the gaming room, closed the door, and were gone. As soon as the door closed, Bert's arms snaked around my waist and pulled me flush against him and our kissing got more intense and sloppy. I was undoubtedly getting turned on, the familiar moment of the blood rushing to my lower half making the feeling catch like fire. Soon, the both of us were gasping for air between our kisses, and the next time we broke apart to take a breath, I smirked and cradled the side of Bert's face and delved in for some much wanted French kissing. My sudden action surprised Bert to the point where his body flinched, which happened to make our lower halves brush against each other. The feeling gave me an intense spark, and I couldn't resist. I grinded down hard against him and we both moaned into each other's mouths. Bert's hands traveled up under my t-shirt and explored my flesh, his hands like ice against my warm skin until they traveled down to my hips and squeezed. In turn I bit his lip toyfully and moved one of my arms back to take his wrist on direct his hand to my ass, all the while grinding down harshly once again. His immediately obeyed and groped the skin of my backside, turning me on even more and the bulges grew more evident in our baggy pj pants. My right hand slowly went down his chest and grasped his shirt briefly before continuing downwards and going for it: palming his crotch. He bucked up instantly, on instinct and his mouth parted from mine.

"Wanna go somewhere?" I asked out of breath as I leaned forward and kissed his neck, squeezing his package slightly as I did so, making him groan and tilt his head back.

"God, yes." And before I knew it, Bert lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist to keep attached to him, and we fumbled to one of the few guest bedrooms the Wentz' had down here. Like, seriously, they were rich. Once inside (thankfully we got into an empty room instead of the room where definite faint noises could be heard from Dallon and Hayley), it was all a blur. In a flash we were both naked and Bert was on top of me on the bed and grinding steadily into me and nipping at my neck, which was beyond pleasurable. As much as I wanted him to keep leaving marks on me, I couldn't take the wait any longer. "Just fuck me already." I begged into his ear with one hand sprawled and tangled in hair on the back of his head and the shoulder gripping mercilessly into his shoulder blade.

Then without a care in the world from either of us, he entered me and our fun really began.

-

I was awoken by a burning light and an absolutely pounding headache. What the fuck? I felt a warm body behind me and it was already obvious to me that we were both naked. I didn't feel an ounce of clothing on me nor on the person pressed up against me. Having awoken to that feeling numerous times in the past, I passed it off as normal.

Oh, Frank and I just had sex. Nothing unusual.

But what was unusual to me was why it hurt to look at anything remotely light. And this headache! It was killing me! I groaned, deciding I needed ibuprofen, so I sat up. Bad idea. It made my head hurt worse.

But what was more unnerving was that this room looked nothing like Frank's room. Any room in his house, even. It was far nicer. Not that there was anything wrong with his house, though. And I heard muffled voices just past the door. Familiar voices, for sure. A girl and some guys.

"They were so loud that it was wearing off my drunken state, I swear. Otherwise why would I remember it?" That was Lindsey's voice! Why was Lindsey here?

"Oh, shit..." I heard another voice. Was that... Mikey?

"What? What is it, Mikes?" Hold on a minute, that was Pete.

"Gerard got drunk." I did what?

"So...? What are trying to say?" Lindsey questioned.

"I'm saying that... he got drunk... and it wasn't with his boyfriend." My heart dropped to my stomach and my throat instantly went dry and I could swear that my headache just increased times ten. Then who was in the bed with me? I was afraid of the truth, though it was already toying at the back of my mind. There was no way to ignore this, so I sucked it up and turned around.

And there Bert was, sound asleep and definitely bare ass naked. Just like me. I couldn't help the whimper that came out of my mouth as I fell off the bed. Tears were stinging my eyes and I felt like I was going to vomit. Oh wait, I was definitely going to vomit. I fumbled to stand up and rushed to the bathroom, luckily getting there just in time. I don't know how long I was hurled over the toilet, but eventually the nausea subsided. I flushed and rinsed out my mouth, thanking the Wentz' momentarily when I found mouth wash and pain killer tablets.

When I walked back out of the bathroom, Bert was awake, and sitting upright, clear confusion on his face. That is, until he looked over and saw me. And boy, the look of horror on his face.

"Fuck." He muttered, his tone obviously stressed out. "Did... did we... you know?" I cover myself and look down walking around the messy room and finding my boxers and putting them on.

"Well, when I woke up I was naked and you were naked and you were spooning me, so what the fuck do you think, Bert?" I spat. His face was disgruntled after I said that, but I didn't feel bad at all. I just gathered his pajamas and tossed them angrily to him as I put my own on piece by piece until I was fully clothed.

"I fucked up, Bert. I fucking fucked the fuck up. I can't fucking-" I stopped myself and took a deep breath, rubbing my temples as tears began to spill like an ocean's current. "I fucking cheated on my boyfriend. My loyal, amazing, fucking perfect boyfriend." I can't help the choked sob that escapes my lips. "I'm a fucking awful person and I want to die."

 

-


	36. The Day Gerard Way Wasn't Ready to Have Two Meaningful Conversations

Gerard's POV

I said my friends wouldn't follow me when I stormed out of Pete's house. And I was right, they didn't. What they did do, though, was constantly text me and call me. All of which I ignored. I got to the point of anger and, with how intense my emotions were right now, almost threw my phone in anguish. I thought better of that, though, knowing my mom would not be happy to hear she'd have to pay to get me a new one, so I settled with sighing and turning it off.

Once I did that, I felt an immense weight lift from my shoulders, like I could breathe normally again. But, of fucking course with my luck, that all came back full force when I remember what exactly I was trying to "run away" from. Tears immediately form once again on my face and are spilling before I'm aware of it.

"Fuck!" I shout out into the quiet, warmer spring air of March, before collapsing onto my knees, letting the strap from my duffel bag fall off my shoulder, and weeping stressfully into my hands. "I've fucked up, I've been fucking up why the fuck do I keep fucking up?" I gnarl into the darkness my hands have provided. My breathing becomes erratic and it becomes harder for me to breathe, but I don't care. I let it happen, feeling I deserve it. I don't know how long I sat like that, but it was long enough to dry up my tears and calm down, and it definitely gave me enough time to think things through.

I've got to cut off Bert. If he weren't in the picture, none of this shit would've happened. I wouldn't be doubting the first, and who I had wanted to remain my only, person to help me find happiness through love.

Hah, you idiot.

Why would you think that? Frank Iero is your teacher. You seem to forget that fact, you bumbling imbecile. Why the fuck would there be a chance? The age gap isn't the problem, there are couple with farther years between them, it's the whole educational trainer portion of our relationship aspect.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I exclaim, hitting my forehead with my hand with every proclamation. Then I'm hit with a revelation. Not only do I have to cut ties with Bert, but... I...

I have to end it with Fra- Mr. Iero. At the least, spend some time apart so I can further clear my head. What else am I supposed to do? There's no doubt I'll mess everything up again if I stay in this relationship.

But you love him.

My heart tugs painfully when I think those words. Of course I love him. There's no doubt about that. His beautiful face, his angelic voice, and everlasting caring and support. Who the fuck wouldn't want that? I'm lucky.

But that's just the thing. I may be lucky to have him... but... he sure isn't lucky to have me. I've wronged, kept it in, and didn't take action to stop the wrong when it first started. And he's oblivious. To all of it. All he knows is that Bert has kissed me. But to add onto that, he only thinks it's happened once. This makes me start crying... again.

My sweet angel, I don't deserve him. He can do so much better than disgusting, cheating, lying little ol' me. I hate myself.

"That's it. I- I'm dumping him," I control my breathing and take time until I'm sure I'm able to stand up again, and grab my duffel bag and start taking myself the rest of the way home. "tomorrow."

I'll sort out what's happened between Bert and I after that.

-

I thankfully made sure my friends knew I was okay, through Mikey, though, after he got home. ...And after I got an upset speech from him about how disappointed he was in me. Then I broke it to him, what I plan to do. And as much as I could tell how upset he was about it, he agreed that it was the best thing to do. Before going to bed that night, he offered his help for my problems involving Bert if I needed it.

But now it's Monday, back to school. Dreaded, dreaded school. My heart is hammering wildly in my chest. Second bell is three minutes away from ending and I just wished immensely that time would freeze. But of course, that's not how life fucking works. My thoughts consume me to the point where I'm startled, and jump a bit in my seat. Absolutely everybody is talking about their prom experiences, and it's making me absolutely dead inside. I'm the last one to walk out of the classroom and, unluckily, the last one to walk into Fran- Mr. Iero's class. Even though the class hadn't started and people were chatting away, me being the last to arrive would automatically make Frank suspicious, especially since he had texted me a couple times yesterday, all of which I didn't respond to. I tried to avoid eye contact, but couldn't. He was definitely worried about my state, and his face went from concern to a deep mix with sadness when we saw me. Did I really look that awful? I sat down with a thud and put my head in my hands, rubbing my eyes roughly with my palms. When I removed my hands, though, Frank was kneeling in front of my desk, making my stomach churn with guilt.

"Do you wanna talk after class?" He questioned me quietly, me avoiding all eye contact while I shook my head. I noticed his expression fall from my peripheral vision.

"After the school day." I mumbled before he could say anything else. "I kind of need to talk to you." He stared at me with an intense, worried gaze before nodding his head solemnly and standing up, putting on a completely cheerful and false persona for the class. It was after the class got started on group activities that I noticed the lack of presence from Bert. Hmm. That would definitely put a dent in being able to talk to him face to face. The class went by in a wiz, Lindsey nor Andy even mentioning what occurred this weekend, even though it was on all of our minds. Not once did I make eye contact with Frank, not even glanced in his direction. I could only ever see him when he was in my peripheral vision, and to say I didn't see the worry radiating off his body would be a lie. Then right when the bell rang I rushed to be the first out the room. Admittedly, I was really hungry and it was lunchtime now, so I had a valid excuse. But when I got down to the cafeteria, I was surprised to find Bert.

"Hey, why weren't you in Chemistry?" I ask when I plop down across from him after buying my food and digging in automatically. I watched his body stiffen after I questioned him, and my expression turned to one of confusion.

"I actually gotta talk to you about that." I roll my eyes and huff. "What?"

"I just got a lot of talks today... I.." after contemplating whether to tell Bert for a second, I go with, "I can't keep it in anymore. It's stressing me out and I can't function. So, I'm talking to Frank. I can tell he senses something's up with me. I need space. I of course already know the outcome of this talk but it's for the better." I take a huge bite from my burger, mainly in frustration, but let's just say it was immense growing teenage boy hunger.

"Well, since you're already done eating, let's go talk?" Bert gestures to the hallway. "We'll just go to one of the study hall classrooms." I nod and stand up, collecting my things as the rest of my friends are just sitting down from getting their food.

"Woah there, done already?" Pete asks, astonished, to which I shrug.

"I was hungry and Bert and I have to talk, so, see ya." I say in a rush, Pete and our other friends equally as confused as I stand up with Bert before heading upstairs.

"So..." Bert says as soon as we land our butts onto desks in the empty spare classroom. "There's really no way to ease this into conversation, so... I'm just gonna tell it to you straight." He hesitates a moment, looking back and forth between my eyes. "I'm dropping out of school." I stare at the shorter boy before me while I fully process his words, then my eyes widen and my face expresses one of shock.

"Why? Don't say it's because of what... you know."

"It's not to get away from you, no. Though I think, at least for now, that space will definitely be good for us. But honestly, I've noticed, particularly starting last school year, that I can't focus in school. As hard as I try, it's hard for me. And it's especially hard to take tests, let alone try to retain the damn stuff we learned in the first place. And if I'm still struggling in high school, what the fuck am I gonna be like in college? I bet I wouldn't even get accepted to any colleges, anyways."

"Bert, that's ridic-"

"I already got a couple jobs. I'm gonna help my dad with paying for our apartment and food and bills and all that shit. I discussed it with him numerous times and I'm positive I wanna do this." The two of us sigh after that and let our minds wander, a comfortable silence between us before Bert speaks up again. "And now that I think about it, this space that me dropping out will give us is definitely for the better. I fucked up your damn life right when it was starting to turn bright for you. Like, what the fuck? I feel awful. Besides, the space will help me get over you and move on, which is something I needed to do a lot sooner."

"You're talking like it's easy to just get over somebody."

"Well, I know it's not going to be. I can guarantee you at first I'll get bummed to not see you nearly every day of the week, but that'll go away over time. That's what I need." I laugh curtly and shake my head. "What?"

"You think after all the fucked up things between us happened that I'd want nothing to do with you. But I don't want you out of my life, Bert. Okay? Still text me when you can. Let's make plans to hang out sometimes. Maybe I can finally meet those friends of yours that you talk about a lot." Bert smiles and nods his head with a laugh.

"Yeah. That sounds nice, dude. You'd get along with them easily. My friends."

"Look forward to the day I meet 'em, then." I laugh. "So... we gonna try to put everything in the past? Friends, still?" Bert nods his head slowly.

"Yeah. Starting over sounds good to me. Friends." The two of us share a smile that I'm glad to have happen.

"Um, when are you, yaknow, officially done with school?"

"Oh, it already happened. Since I'm 18 I didn't need parental consent, even though my dad and I agreed on it, so the process was only a couple minutes. That's why I was gone during Chemistry. I was going around to all my classes to let them know. ...Got a lot of disappointment from 'em, but what do you expect? Fran- um, Mr. Iero, actually... he was different. He took time to go out into the hall with me. Dude, he gave me a pep talk. Apparently he once was close to dropping out of high school, but obviously he didn't. He even said he hoped the best for me before patting my shoulder. He's a really caring guy... no matter what the circumstances..." As Bert kept talking, tears had formed in my eyes.

Oh Frank... My beautiful, amazing Frankie. You're always so kind. Why did I fuck up?

"I'm actually gonna go, now. One of my jobs is a late shift and tonight's my first night, so I want to rest up a bit." I force a smile and blink away my tears. After contemplation, I pull Bert into an unexpected hug.

"Don't fuck it up, McCracken." I joke around, earning a laugh and comforting pat on the back before we pull apart. "I expect to hear how your first day goes, okay?"

"Definitely. As for meeting my friends, we were gonna see a movie Saturday night, if you wanted to come? You'd have to meet me at the mall at eight."

"I think I can work that out." I laugh.

"Cool. I'll see ya then. Um.. bye, for now." He waves awkwardly and we bid a final school farewell before picking up his stuff and walking towards the main entrance.

"Be safe out in the real world, okay?" I shout after him.

"Dammit, Gerard, it's not like I'm not ever gonna see you again I can handle myself!" We laugh as he reaches the door, then he's gone. He's officially said "fuck you" to the educational system.

-

The bell rings signaling the end of the day and we're all dismissed. And my heart rate has steadily increased since the bell had started fifty minutes ago. I've actually dreaded this moment, because the closer and closer it came, the more the reality of this all was hitting me. My relationship with my first love was coming to an end. But I had to do this, though. I couldn't spare the emotional trauma of keeping things from him that would inevitably break his heart. But I'm not going to tell him those things just yet. I'm going to, but that moment when it happens is yet to be decided. Right now, though, my sole motivation was to spare his soul, break him free from the inevitable trouble and heartbreak I would undoubtedly cause if we were to continue. I wanted to lessen the blow. So I was motivated to end it, no matter how miserable it made me, I had to make sure I was no longer betraying him, hurting my angel without him even being aware of it. Not a moment went by that I looked at him and didn't feel guilt. That emotion has started to overtake me.

When I walked into his classroom and he turned to look at me from where he sat at his desk, all wide-eyed and anxious, that's when I knew for sure that this wouldn't be as easy as I was hoping.

"Hey." Frank started with a chirpy tone in hopes to lighten the air between us. I smiled almost forcefully as I walked further into the room and set my backpack down. When I turned back to him, he was standing up, hesitant to whether he wanted to walk towards me or not. In a quick second, though, Frank was in front of me and we were hugging. A bad feeling swirled in my stomach as I was wrapped in his gentle grasp and met with his familiar smell. When we were pulling apart, Frank brought his head closer to mine and kissed me slowly, which I gratefully returned, knowing that it was my last kiss from the beautiful man... at least for a while. "I've missed that." Frank breathed with a smile. "It's been awhile since we've had alone time."

Now's time for my heart to clinch painfully. He missed our kisses. I mean, why wouldn't he? An unaware boyfriend who just blamed that feeling on 'not having the time to be together properly since we've both been busy with our own things'.

"Y-yeah." I forced another smile before gently removing myself from our still enwrapped bodies.

"Um, what did you want to talk to me about? I, uh, I will admit that it's gotten me really anxious but I figure it's nothing bad, right? I mean, hah, why would it?" Frank flicked his eyes quickly back and forth between mine and his attempt at seeming fine slowly withered away as he bit his lip and moved to scratch the back of his head from nervous habit. I sucked my lips into my mouth and bit down nervously, my gaze at him turning sorrowful. When he looked back up at me and read my expression, he let out a shaky breath. "Oh..."

"There's not an ounce of anything wrong with you. You're perfect. An angel sent from whatever may be up there if there is, please don't think it's you." I rushed out, having to take a deep breath once I finished speaking.

"Then... what?" Frank questioned quietly. "What happened? Did your dad pop back up from nowhere? Have people started bullying you again? Did you-"

"No, no, no. None of that. It's, um... wow this is going to sound really stereotypical. ...me. It's me." Frank scrunched his eyebrows together after I spoke and looked at me, most definitely baffled.

"What... do you, um... mean?" Frank's eyes were almost afraid looking as they bored into mine. I inhaled sharply at the sight before releasing shakily.

"Um..." I look down at my feet guiltily and scuff my shoe on the floor. "That.. I think we, uh, we need to sp-spend time apart." The silence that filled the room was at such an intense level it almost made my ears hurt. I was deathly afraid to look at Frank, but I knew that was unavoidable. So, nervous in every sense of the word, I slowly lifted my gaze to his, where he was already looking at me. Frank's eyes were red-tinted and glazed over with silent tears refusing to stop falling. I couldn't help the own couple tears I got from the sight.

"Why?" He croaked quietly, making me wrap my arms around myself in shame.

"Because... I- I'm a fuck up, Frank. I need to clear my head, think about things n' shit. And... don't ask me the reason why, because I will tell you, I'm just... not ready yet, if I tried to maintain this relationship then I'd just fuck it up and I do not want to hurt you. Believe me, this was hard to decide."

"Why couldn't I have had a say in this, then? If it was me that would somehow be hurt?"

"Because there is literally nothing that you do that would get you hurt. You're damn perfect, okay? And I'm not. And I'm not wasting someone like you on me, who'd undoubtedly drag you down in time." Frank sighed frustratedly after I spoke and ran a hand down his face.

"You're perfect to me, stop saying you're not." Frank put a hand on my cheek and stroked his thumb absentmindedly. That one, simple action caused more tears to trickle down. Before I knew it, I started shaking my head quickly.

"I- Frank I wouldn't be doing this right now if I didn't think I'd end up absolutely breaking your heart if we continued this, okay? I... I have to do this. We have to do this." His hand that was cradling my face fell limply to his side.

"Y-you mean it, then? We- we're b-breaking... up?" I sucked in a breath harshly at how broken his voice sounded.

"I love you, Frank. But I've fucked up when you weren't around being my guardian angel, as cheesy as that sounds. I'm doing this because it's my turn to protect you. I don't wanna fuck up again while still in a relationship with you. If something messes up while we're not... not a thing, then it'll lessen the blow for both of us."

"What's happened, Gee? You know you can come to me with whatever problems you're having. I can help, please." Frank tried to hug me, but I shook him off and, as kindly as I could, stepped away from him.

"I can't come to you about these things. But I promise you, you will not remain in the dark about what's going on right now. I just gotta build up enough courage to tell you. And just doing this was enough for now."

"Th... then when?" Frank's voice and bottom lip quivered as he started to once again cry. "Set out a date. I won't be able to function knowing you're going to tell me whatever shit it is if it's just going to be a random day I won't be prepared for. Let's, please, set out a specific day." I blinked a couple times, processing his words. A set date would be good... and it'd be beneficial. Not only to me, but definitely to him. It could help psych the both of us up.

"Okay... fine. Whatever day I leave for college, I'll tell you. Whether I have to go across the country on an airplane or twenty minutes away, that's when I'll tell you. I'll let you know, okay? You can at least count on that."

"The rest of this week is going to be awkward, isn't it?" Frank mumbled. And honestly, he was right. It would be, for sure. I chuckled and nodded my head with a smile.

"Most likely... but please remember that the whole reason I'm doing this God-awful thing is because I love you, and I want to protect you, however messed up the method is." Frank nodded as he looked down at his converse-clad feet.

"Yeah... still won't prevent me from being upset."

"Not for me, either." I whisper. Then silence falls between us.

"Before you go... can I kiss you? For all I know it'll be the last." Frank mumbled nervously. I stared at him before walking slowly up to him and taking his hand with an affectionate squeeze and look ever so slightly up to him.

"Go ahead." I smiled. Frank smiled back before resting our foreheads together and putting his other hand on my cheek. Feeling awkward with one of my hands just hanging by my side, I put it delicately on his upper chest. Frank took a deep breath before tilting his head and closing the miniscule space between our mouths and kissed me. It wasn't a gentle kiss, but it wasn't fervent or needy, either. Just, calm, perhaps interlaced with a touch of passion. My heart ached at the touch I now deemed foreign, or antiquated, all due from the lesser amount of time we'd been able to share recently. I cursed the world internally. When we broke apart, our lips lingered and our breaths mixed together. It took me a second before realizing that both our faces were slightly moist. We had both started crying during our kiss. Bittersweet, really.

Frank suddenly wrapped both his arms around my waist and pulled me in for a hug. I gasped at first, but hugged him back with just as much physical strength as he had. Gently, I unlatched myself from the beautiful man's hold and stepped backwards until I reached my backpack. I awkwardly bent down to pick it up and swung it over my shoulders. I was about to say something, what it was, I have no idea, but Frank spoke up, more like blurted out.

"I love you." I smiled sadly as I decided now was a good time to head out. When I reached the door I turned back to face him.

"I know."

"Don't turn this into 'Star Wars'." Frank chuckled sadly, the two of us remembering simultaneously the memory of one of our coffee outings, the day I lost my virginity to him. I smiled in response, clearly not knowing what to say, and awkwardly waved goodbye before departing. Once the door shut behind me, a very audible "fuck!" was yelled before I heard a crash. I winced, but I had to leave Frank to let it out. He was obviously aching. It was when I heard the whimpers of crying that I started aching even more and my own tears poured out, leading me to rush outside to my car with blurred vision and a chest ready to erupt.

-


	37. How Life Is Going Without You

Gerard's POV

A near month had passed before I was even aware of it. And now it's April 9th. My eighteenth birthday. Luckily it's on a Saturday. No worries about getting stressed with school or any of that shit. Speaking of school... Frank- or, Mr. Iero, and I have managed to remain friendly with each other, no awkwardness, at least not anymore. We'll actually still text each other almost daily. A couple days after I went to talk to him after school he pulled me aside after class to talk about things some more.

"Look, I want you to know that even if we don't work out in the end, I at the very least want to keep staying in touch. I still want you to come see the band at gigs, and just have a laugh. Don't you agree that after all we've been through, we can't just fall out completely?"

"You're right." I speak after contemplation. "Plus, it'd be hard to just not see you opening for Against Me! You'll always have my support." The two of us smile and share a laugh. That was the day when awkwardness was out of the way and we were comfortable around each other again after those agonizing few days of glances and obvious attempts to ignore one another during class.

I was, unfortunately for sleep-deprived me, woken from my slumber by my mother.

"Birthday boy! Already so grown up!" She cheered after I oh so grouchily mumbled complaints at her. I told her about Frank and I. The weekend after it happened. She was disappointed. Who wouldn't be? Even I grew disappointed in myself. She, as it turns out, was my shoulder to cry on as I let it out, mumbling how I was a failure and ruined everything. But she didn't press to know why I thought that way and why exactly we broke up. And I was greatly appreciative of that. "It's just past noon, boy, you have no reason to complain about sleep. Bert's here."

Oh, and Bert and I, as of last week, decided to try out dating. After that Saturday that we hung out with his friends last month, we grew to hanging out a lot, almost every day. And even though we wanted to deny our feelings and move on because of what our mistakes had caused, the opposite happened. It was actually me who admitted that I couldn't stop thinking about him, as much, and inoffensively as possible, that I tried to stop. And then the obvious thing happened; Bert expressed that he felt the same, so we kissed. And it was awkward in every sense of the word. Here's the thing, though. I felt a spark that I had only experienced from Frank in the past. That's honestly what did it for me. My conscience said "you can't let what Frank and you no longer have make you miserable." So after some further discussion with Bert, we both decided it'd be worth a shot.

"Fine, fine. I'm getting up." I groaned into the pillow as I rolled clumsily out of bed and tossed on some clothes from the floor that I presumed to be at least semi-clean. After going to the bathroom and washing my face, because yes, I looked pretty miserable, I ran my hands through my hair a couple times before deeming myself acceptable and went down the stairs two at a time.

"Hey there, sleepyhead." Bert smiled at me when I walked into the living room, where my family and him were sat, having casual discussion with the tv on until I arrived.

"Hey." I can't help the smile that grew on my face almost instinctively. Before Bert was able to stand up, which I noticed he was going to do, I bounded over and jumped onto the recliner he was at and sat on his lap (sideways, for those wondering). I turned my attention back to my brother and my mom as I felt Bert's arms wrap around my waist and plant a kiss on my cheek, making my face grow hot.

"So, Mr. Legal Adult, you can either have your cake with lunch or with dinner." My mom brought up. "It's up to you." Immediately I knew my answer. There was no thought process that had to go into this.

"After dinner. It's always been that way and I'd feel weird throwing that off." Mikey smirked before calling out a "good choice."

"At least open presents, then!" Donna stands up and goes upstairs, presumably to get these said presents.

"Fuck, I don't want presents. Dammit, Mom." I mumbled under my breath, making Mikey laugh. Huh, I guess I didn't exactly mumble to myself.

"Too bad." Bert spoke from behind my ear suddenly, making my hairs stand on edge.

"You did not get me something!" I turned around with shock, but a smile on my face nonetheless.

"Oh, but I did!" He joked back and tightened his grasp around me. I couldn't contain the giggle that I released. Bert and I were starting to go into our own little world when the quiet mumble of "gross." was heard from across the room. I pulled away from where I was about to kiss the boy below me and looked at my baby brother with a scowl.

"Suck it up. You're just jealous you haven't had any action." Mikey made a disgusted face right after I spoke back to him, but right before he was about to reply, Mom walked into the room and set what she had by my feet.

"Open up, then."

It turns out my mom had gotten me a couple classic issues of X-Men and Daredevil, which I admired greatly. I'm probably going to read them later tonight. Not only that, but also two tickets to San Diego Comic Con. Which I absolutely gawped at.

"Senior trip for you and whoever." She smiled warmly. Mikey was surprisingly calm. When I had asked him about it, he merely said, "Mom got one for me and a friend as well but told me not to bring it up so as to not ruin the surprise for your birthday."

Mikey, of course, got me nothing, but I'm unsurprised. Usually we only get each other stuff for Christmas. It's been an unwritten law almost between us. We've always done it. I was about to stand up off of Bert's lap, because really, I had to be making his legs numbs. But he only pulled me back down.

"Hold up, I have something, too." He reached down the side of the recliner that I couldn't see and pulled up a larger sized square shaped object. Confused, but having a slight idea of what it was, I slowly took it from his grasp and hesitantly unwrapped it. When I saw the familiar blue and tan album colors I shot open the rest of the paper.

"You got me Dopesmoker on vinyl!" I nearly shouted. That caused Bert and Mikey to laugh loudly. "Shi- I mean... shoot. Bert, I've wanted this on vinyl for ages but never thought to get it whenever I went to the record store! Thank you thank you thank you." I rushed out before turning sideways and caressing his cheek and planting a kiss on his lips.

"I was gonna take you out to the movies, if that's okay." Bert said when we broke apart.

And that we did. But not only us, but all of our friends. He and Mikey had organized the whole thing. Bert's friends Jeph, Quinn, and Dan had grown accustomed to joining all of us as of recently, too. And it's been nice.

But as we were leaving, I got a text message, that somehow meant less to me than it would've had it been a different situation, but nice nonetheless.

Frank: Happy Birthday, Gee. I hope you make the most of it.

-

May 24th, 2016. Graduation.

It had come before I even knew it. My days of angsty teenage years rebelling and having no care in the world were done. Because, well, I was graduating. I was growing up, becoming a newbie in the beginning stages of adult life. And it was nerve wracking. I was planning on attending SVA in New York, because that made it easier to come home and be with Mikey and Mom. But recently that plan got turned around because Bert and I got talking. Not only was he planning on moving to California with Jeph, Quinn, and Dan, my second top college choice was in California. And it'd be easy to go down there anyways, since us and the rest of our friends were going to SDCC this summer as a senior trip.

So, now that my near future life plans are finally in order, I could focus on the present. And that was me, in line in alphabetical order in navy gowns and caps with yellow till, our school colors. With the senior grade teaching staff, my family, Bert, and even my dad, rather surprisingly, sitting out in the crowd to witness the huge ordeal. Within five minutes, which passed in a whiz because of my wandering thoughts, we were called out and took our respective seats, Pete almost tripping on his gown from behind me. To be brutally honest, the whole thing was rather boring, especially hearing the cocky valedictorian giving their speech. It got even worse, though, when they started calling out names of the 100+ students in the class to give them their diplomas, I even heard Pete groan in frustration after we had all been sitting there for a bit. His ass was probably getting numb, because I know mine was, and it was getting beyond uncomfortable. I zoned in and out of names. I first peaked interest upon hearing Lindsey's name called, which I applauded enthusiastically for, then I heard a "Frankie Dunn", which honestly, my ears only perked up because of their first name, then before I knew it, the principal was announcing the L's at "Jenna Lawhorn." Pete and I managed to get away with whispering lazily. Soon after that, I heard a "Chloe McCoy". I only looked back up at the stage that students walked up to get their diplomas at when a "Hayley Swanson" was called, because wow, W's were really close now. Holy shit.

Then, the time came. "Gerard Way" reached my ears from the microphone and my body felt numb. Sudden realization hit me that I was fucking graduating! I walked up with shaky legs and smiled at the principal while shaking his hand firmly then grasping my diploma like it was the most sacred thing on earth. Then the moment was gone in the blink of an eye. I was back in my seat waiting for Pete to join me. When he did, we smiled widely at each other before hugging sideways.

"Class of 2016, you've officially graduated from Belleville Public High School. Some of you endured us for strong four years, while some of you joined us at a later date, but you did it nonetheless. And I, speaking on behalf of myself and the whole staff of the school, are so proud of all of you. No matter what your future entails, I wish you all the best. Congratulations, graduates. And may you have the best future for yourselves! Toss up those caps!" The principal spoke enthusiastically, then all of us cheered, some with tears in our eyes, but every classmate sporting a huge grin. Then our caps painted the room dark like a swarm of birds, soaring freely.

-

Afterwards, at the reception, everybody was with their family and friends, chattering animatedly about their future endeavors, among other things. Bert was caressing me from behind comfortingly while we were talking with Mom about when exactly we were leaving, and all that, when I heard an almost forced clearing of a throat from behind. Confused, I turned, but having saw my mother's face, I had an idea of who it was. I looked up and was met with my father. Who looked at me and Bert with a brief look of disgust before manning it up and looking at me like an actual human being, which I was thankful for.

"Gerard." He nodded to me curtly, making me bite my lip in reaction before replying with a calm, "Donald." Because, yes, he's gotten to the point where it physically pains me to refer to him as my dad. It doesn't fit with him anymore and he doesn't deserve it. Donald took a deep breath before continuing, almost seeming like he had practiced what he wanted to say. "I want you to know that I am proud to see you graduate. I know you probably don't believe that, nor want to even speak to me, but I think we both, and your mother and brother, need closure. And a good one at that. I wish you luck in your future, Gerard. And Donna, I'm sorry for making it so much harder on yourself, but I can see just how hard you've worked to keep a chin up, and I admire that. That's a quality I've got to work on. I- I made the home environment unsafe with my drunken relapsing, but I've been getting help. So, I have to say, you're brave for taking action like you did, and still taking care of our boys so well. I know none of you probably want to speak with me, but I just wanted you all to know that I'm keeping my cell phone number the same, I'm not making myself go out of existence. So, please, if you, Mom, or Mikey ever want to get a hold of me, I'm out there somewhere."

Just hearing those words from my father meant more than I let on. I was wary, but also swelling with happiness. He was trying. That's what mattered.

"Thank you." Is all I said, and also all my mother said. That's all we wanted to say, but our point got across, and Donald understood. I no longer felt absolute disgust towards him, because I could acknowledge that he was trying to fix himself, and that he knew to keep his distance. And I was extremely grateful. I did end up getting that closure I needed.

-

Frank's POV

It was bittersweet seeing Gerard up there, having his high school diploma gladly handed to him, and the shy smile on his face as that ever so familiar blush rose on his cheeks.

Yes, I was still in love with him.

But, I had to accept what he wanted. He said he'd tell me reasons to why he wanted space, and I believed him. And when he had told me back in March about telling me the day he was leaving, I had full trust that he'd follow through. We had made eye contact at the reception after the graduation ceremony, and I was surprised to see Bert standing next to him and his friends. I forgot that he had left. But I was glad to see he still maintained friendship. I had also, though, bumped into Donna when we both went to get an array of cookies to munch on.

"I'm going to tell him, you know." She had spoken kindly, to which I looked up in confusion.

"Tell who what?" She just laughed adoringly and patted my arm.

"I don't know when, yet... but I'm going to let Gerard know that I've known you were his teacher." When she said that, my mind clicked. She had revealed that to me that one morning when I had come over for Christmas. Apparently the school made a little article about all the new staff members in the parent newsletter the school sends out. She had managed to look through that one before her ex-husband, who usually didn't even open it and just tossed it in the garbage.

"Well, you'll figure it out." She nodded at my words before starting to turn to head back from where she came from.

"It was nice seeing you again, Frank." We smiled before parting ways. It was nice to see each other.

When I got home that late afternoon, I felt mellow. I'd no longer be seeing Gerard on a near-daily basis. He was growing up. I'd be lucky if I ran into him occasionally. I decided to take Daisy out on a walk to take my mind off things, and enjoy the nice weather. Usually, I'd just let her out in the small backyard, but I wanted to do something other than sit around my house. Hmm, actually, I should see if the guys want to come over to work on our songs, whether it'd be adding onto them or enhancing them in some way, I felt like doing that. While I was accompanying my small dog on her leash and walking absentmindedly, I got them all a quick text. Lucky for me, they were all free, so we decided 6 o'clock was a good time. We could eat something together then get to work.

When I was nearing home after Daisy and I's peaceful walk, my phone had started ringing, which, honestly, did scare me. It's really calm and peaceful out, and the interruption of a phone blaring loudly was nerve wracking. I fumbled to get it out of my jean pocket, I didn't recognize the number, but I thought "What the hell." and answered it anyway.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Frank Iero?" A professional female voice spoke through the line, which confused me, because they did indeed get the right number.

"Yes, he's speaking. Um, can I ask who this is?"

"Ah, yes! My name is Livvy, I work with Staple Records, a local label, if you've not heard of us." Oh, the contrary, I have heard of the label. Laura Jane had said that they were recording at that studio back in February when Against Me! was helping out with making merch for the summer tour.

"Oh, yeah, I've heard of you. Why do you call?"

"You're the front man of Frank Iero and the Cellabration, correct?"

"Well, if it wasn't obvious by the band name, yeah." I chuckled with a smile, hearing the girl on the other end of the line laugh as well.

"Great, we actually heard of you from when a band called Against Me! used our studio earlier this year to record some stuff. We had got talking with them about their summer tour, and they mentioned your band was opening for them. So obviously, we were all curious, and they had some of your work, so they gave it to us for a listen. And well, we really loved your sound. How do you feel about signing to our label and have official equipment to work with your songs on?"

I stopped walking, which, at this point, I was walking up the pathway to my front door, and processed what the lady on the other end of the line was saying.

"Wait, hold on. You want to sign my band to your label? Officially?"

"Yes, if that's okay with you and your bandmates."

"They were all supposed to come over to practice in like, half an hour. I think bringing that up is a good way to start."

"Awesome! When do you think I will hear back from you?"

"Oh, definitely some time within the next hour or two. Should I call this number back?"

"Yes, you can! I hope to hear positive news. I'll talk to you soon, Frank."

"You too, Lizzy. Bye."

-

After discussing with the band, we thought it was a good idea to, officially, sign to the label. So, that night we celebrated. After jamming for a bit, we went out to a movie, then headed to the bar for a night of fun. The tour was starting in a week and a half at this point, actually here in Jersey. Which I thought to be a nice start to things, in a way.

It was when there was only three days left until kickoff when I was out at the mall, due to boredom and wanting to get out of the house, that I ran into Gerard. He was with some guy that I didn't recognize, though. But I soon found out.

"Oh! Um, this is Quinn. We met through Bert, actually." The two of us nodded to each other in acknowledgement and greeting.

"Got any big summer plans?" I gestured to him, wanting to be nice, but deep down, not wanting to part ways just yet. He smiled that shy smile that I still wasn't over.

"Actually, yeah. My friends and I are going to San Diego Comic Con." My eyes widened, which made Gerard laugh.

"No way! That's awesome!" Gerard nodded enthusiastically before continuing.

"I'm actually gonna go to college in Cali... so when I go down to go to the comic con, I'm actually gonna be staying there." My heart dropped and I could tell that my sadness was obvious on my face because Gerard turned sympathetic.

"Oh... I still thought you were going to SVA. But, I-I'm glad. You're going to college! That's awesome. I'm so proud of you, really."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, Frank..."

"Don't worry about it, seriously." He nodded before looking down and scuffing his shoes, his friend Quinn probably feeling like an awkward third wheel. "Oh, yeah, I've been meaning to ask you, the tour with Against Me! starts on Tuesday here in Belleville. Maybe you and some friends would wanna go?"

"Oh yeah! Just saying... I'd go no matter what. It's your first tour!"

"Tour with Against Me?" Quinn spoke up, making Gerard fluster.

"Oh, yeah! Frank's band is opening for Against Me! for their summer tour. It starts next week."

"No way! I wanted to go but haven't got tickets yet!"

"Well, good thing, because I've got a couple. They're in my wallet right now, actually, hold on. I don't remember how many I've got or if it'll cover you and your friends, but, eh." I took my wallet out and the small stack of tickets, handing them to Gerard.

"We'll be there, Frank. I can't wait." Gerard smiled with utmost honesty and gratitude. It warmed my heart.

"Oh! Since we're on the topic, I thought you'd be interested in hearing that my band got signed to a local label last week." I carried on hesitantly, and the smile that I saw growing on Gerard's face confirmed to me that he was indeed happy for me, which is all I wanted.

"Frankie! That's amazing! What one?" I laughed quietly and scruffed my hair at the back of my neck.

"It's Staple. They found out about us through Against Me! actually. Which is rad."

"Oh, God, that's so great. I'm so proud of you!" Before I knew it, Gerard had his arms wrapped tightly around my neck and was continuously congratulating me. It felt like too soon that he was pulling away, but when I felt a quick peck on the cheek, that's all I needed. "Oh, and, I leave for San Diego on July 18th. We're gonna be taking a plane, if you wanted to come to the airport... I, um, I haven't forgotten what I said to you back in March. You deserve more than anything to know."

"Oh, uh, yeah, I think we'll be back around this area around then, anyways. I can make it work."

"You sure?"

"Of course."

"Okay, then, I'll expect you there. When we get our plane tickets, I'll let you know what time boarding is so you can get there at the right time and all that." I nodded my head in understanding.

"Sounds good. Well, I should get going. Nice to meet you, Quinn." I smiled at the two of them, prepping to walk away.

"I'll see you at your show, Frankie." Gerard called after I was a few steps away. I turned and looked over my shoulder and smiled with a small wave, ignoring how him calling me by that nickname brought back memories that I so desperately wish could go on.

-

The opening show was phenomenal. Gerard must've still had his copy of our music and had all his friends listen to it, because I spotted him and the others that I used to also teach right near the front, screaming along to my singing with passion and livelihood. It made me feel alive up there on the small venue's stage. Their optimism pumped up the rest of the crowd, and it was exhilarating. At the end of our set, I found it only fitting to reach out and give the set list to Gerard.

Turns out more than we had anticipated from our merchandise was bought. Though, we did buy an extra amount when we ordered them, so it's not like we were going to run out. What Matt, Rob, Evan, and I weren't anticipating was leaving after the show and people wanting our autographs and photos with us. The excitement from these people reminded me of my high school years not very long ago, when I was in their exact position. I greeted the band's new fans with glee. Yeah, I couldn't wait for what this summer had in store for FIATC.

-


	38. The Ending of One Chapter, The Beginning of Another

Gerard's POV

July has finally come around. All of our stuff is packed and ready, a shared apartment between Bert, Jeph, Dan, Quinn, and I is ready to be moved into, all that's left is to actually leave. We have to be at the John F. Kennedy International Airport at noon, take off is set for two, so we're leaving at eleven. It was currently 9:30, and I had just finished eating my breakfast, as I was now getting changed and ready to go. My mind wandered as I aimlessly and routinely got ready from comics, to who I'd possibly meet at SDCC, to college, to just education in general, to Frank.

I was beyond nervous to reveal to him as to why I broke things off, but I was not chickening out. I was not going to betray my words to Frank. He wanted to know, as much as I know it'll kill him (which I'm not looking forward to at all). What was I going to say? How should I word it? Should I wiggle around it or should I be blunt about it? Oh God, I don't want to hurt his feelings. I've got to soften the blow as much as I possibly can.

"Gerard! Our carpoolers are here!" My mom shouted to break me from the troublesome thoughts running around my mind like a track field. I looked at my phone to see the time, and geez, it was already 10:15, the time we agreed they should come over so we can chill out for a bit before heading out.

I bounded down the stairs and was greeted with Hayley and Lindsey. Yeah, that doesn't seem like a lot to carpool, but Mikey, my mom, and I would be taking the rest of the seats available in the car. Everybody else was carpooling with each other and we were all going to meet up.

We all killed time around the house before leaving, and when it eventually became that time, there was a jittery vibe throughout the whole car. The car ride was filled with laughter, fun chattering, and singing along raucously to music. In that time, Frank and I had texted briefly, confirming times and what section we were due to be at in the airport, all that. All too soon, we arrived at the airport. We were actually the last carpool of the group to get there, and the excitement from everybody else rubbed off on us; it was enthralling. Checking in and getting our physical plane tickets and bags checked was beyond hectic, especially with it being perfect vacation time, it made the airport even more clogged than usual. After over half an hour of dealing with that, we all plopped down into seats to wait for boarding, and we were out of breath, like, majorly out of breath. Woohoo for unathletic young adults.

I had just shared a chaste kiss with Bert when my phone started ringing. Knowing deep down who it was, I answered it right away.

"Hello?"

"Hey, so, I'm here, but holy shit it's crowded and I feel a little bit lost." Frank's words made me chuckle before I decided to mock him.

"Too short to see over people's heads?"

There was a pause before I got a reply. "Oh, shut up, Gerard. No need to fuckin' mock me." I let out a chortle right as my eyes landed on him. In a heat of the moment thought, I decided to not reply to him. Luckily, Frank was facing with his back towards me, so I walked briskly up to him. I noted his confused state as he talked into the phone line, obviously trying to confirm to himself whether I was on the phone or not. "Gerard? Hello? You there?" is what I heard as I stood a foot behind him before leaning in.

"It's fun to mock you."

"Fuck!" Frank tensed up in a jumpy state before whipping his head around, making eye contact with the smug expression that I knew was evident upon my features. I watched as his own features went from distortion to realization to, finally, relaxation and playful annoyance. "Jesus, Gerard! Was that necessary?" A low laugh erupted from my throat.

"No, but it was the want to do it that fueled me." Frank merely rolled his eyes at my teasing.

"Whatever." I smiled before closing the distance between us and hugging him briefly. It was nice to see him again. I hadn't realized it, but deep down, I had grown to miss his presence over the month that we only managed to ever talk occasionally, rather than see each other. Him touring with Against Me! taking up all that allotment.

"Let's go grab a coffee while we talk instead of standing around here, okay?" I suggested, nodding my head in the direction of the Starbucks that was built into the airport. Small talk, of course, came into being during our short walk to our destination. "How's touring life been?" Frank smiled automatically when I asked that question, and seeing how his features lit up at the mention of it warmed my heart.

"It's been so amazing, I swear. This is what I've always dreamt of, you know? Ever since I was a damn toddler. It's an adrenaline rush. Every fucking night." I smiled fondly at him as we stood in the average length line. This was his enjoyment, his passion. The way his eyes sparked to life, the movement his hands brought on vividly. Much like me being a bit of an art hoe, as my friends liked to call it.

"You deserve it, Frankie." A thought sparked in my mind just then, and it came out like word vomit; no filter, no self-control. I was too excited at the notion. "Oh my God, just wait! In like ten years you'll be so well known. Being in a band will be your living. Say goodbye to that teaching shit. You'll be a fucking rock star." Frank's eyes widened as my own did, before I slapped a hand over my mouth in shock.

"Let's hope that's the case." He merely chuckled and stepped up to order his coffee as my thoughts whirled. I recovered quickly enough and ordered my own. All too quickly, we were sitting at a tall round table sipping casually on our beverages.

"So..." I nervously spoke out from our comfortable, but slightly tense, silence. Frank looked up mid-sip from his own beverage. The look in his eyes after a second told me that he knew what I was about to bring up. "I... can't exactly weave around this forever. And if I don't tell you, it'll torture me for the rest of my life. I made a promise. And I intend to keep it." Frank solemnly nodded his head and readjusted in his seat, as if to prepare himself for the words I was about to spill to his pure ears.

"Go ahead, Gerard." Frank smiled softly and reached forward and gave my limp hand a squeeze in an attempt of reassurance. It worked. I took a deep breath, and adjusted in my own seat, before fiddling with my hands in my lap.

"There really isn't any way to word around this easily, so I'll just... delve straight in." Frank nodded, urging me silently to go on. "Okay. Um... you know how Bert accidentally kissed me in the school bathroom? Around when we started dating?" Frank sucked in a sharp breath before looking down at the coffee cup in between his hands.

"Um... yeah. Y-You were actually very torn up about that, I remember. I hated seeing you like that." I nodded, taking a gulp from my frappuccino.

"Well... I-I- shit, Frank, I'm gonna have to be blunt here. A couple months after that, after he got his shit together and we started becoming friends, the affection he gave me was akin to yours. I felt safe with him much like how I felt with you. I- I kissed him... properly, a couple times within the span of a few months." I looked up from picking at my nails, a nervous habit, to see Frank's hands balled up in tight fists, his knuckles white. I noted that his breathing looked to be getting uneven. This encounter wasn't going to be easy...

"Frankie-"

"Just... just continue, okay? Go full force if you gotta. I kinda want to get this over with." The hurt in Frank's voice struck a nerve in me. But what did I expect? I acted immaturely during our relationship. My heart tugged painfully and a tear trickled down my cheek, knowing the worst was yet to come.

"O-okay... um... as these different instances occurred, I-I guess, I started developing a small crush on him." I dared not look at Frank as I said this. Instead, I sought out the lid of my coffee in my hands, which I held in my lap. "I started getting confused. The butterflies I had only experienced with you ever before started happening sometimes when I was with Bert. His whole persona and the way he carried himself just, caught my attention, in a way..." I needed a moment to think about how to continue wording things, so I decided to chug the rest of my drink, which wasn't a lot anymore, honestly. I decided to take a chance of glancing up at Frank, and to no shock, he was exactly the same as before.

Not for long, I thought.

"What did I do?" At this, I was beyond taken aback.

"What... do you mean?"

"Did I not take you on enough dates or treat you to things enough? Is-is that why you-"

"Frank, no no no. Be quiet. Get those ideas out of your head. Fuck no. Do not blame yourself, do you hear me? All the times I told you it wasn't you, I meant it whole heartedly. You did nothing. Bert happened to come into my life in a positive aspect, and well, I'm human. Humans cannot control what their hearts and emotions play on them. Do you get that?" After a moment, Frank nodded, albeit it being a small nod.

"Okay. Good. That's good. But... anyways... my worst mistake. It was prom night. After prom at Pete's house. It was small, just nine of us. But everybody got drunk, something I'd been afraid of. I've always hated the notion of drinking. Getting wasted has never appealed to me. It's not fun, the after affects are shit, and you can't remember what happened when you were under the influence. It's beyond stupid."

"Did... did you get drunk, Gee?" The small sound that came out of Frank's voice broke me, and I felt the second tear that day fall down my face, before more followed, and before I knew it, I was nodding quickly and blubbering.

"I got peer pressured. M-my friends weren't exactly forcing me, they were drunkenly chanting that I take a shot or some shit like that, I can't remember. They were having a damn laugh. But Frank, it made me feel like shit. I gave in. Stupid fucking mistake that was. Worst damn decision I could've ever made in my life." I muttered before resting my head between my arms on the table.

"Why do you say that?" Frank tried to sympathize. This was it. This was the moment.

Here goes.

I lifted my head and tried to steady my breathing.

"Frank... I was surrounded by drunk, hormonal, horny teenagers. Majority of them were making out and grinding like dogs on each other." Frank couldn't help but snort at my choice of wording.

"Where are you going with this, then?"

"Frank, I'm also a horny teenager, and I got drunk. I..." Tears started coming down my face full force now. I noticed Frank's face grow concerned. Both for myself and for what he was about to hear, anxious as to how it would affect him. "I had sex with Bert."

Time, as cliché as this was, seemed to go in slow motion as I watched Frank's face contort and his eyes break right before my eyes, tears slowly forming and falling due to gravity as he processed this news.

"I had drunken sex with Bert and you know how I know that? I woke up naked and tangled in bed sheets with Bert just as naked beside me and a dull ache in my ass." My voice was giving out as I progressed. Both our faces now blotchy and red. "I cheated on my first experience of what love was and he didn't deserve that at all. I'm a fuck up, Frankie. That's why I left you. I wanted to prevent you from future hurt."

"Why couldn't we have tried longer?" Frank questioned, trying to make sense of the situation.

"Because I knew I'd fall back down. I had a weird feeling deep down that I'd mess up again. I couldn't live with that. So I made the decision I made. Hoping it was the best for the both of us." I watched Frank nod slowly, his face still contorted in deep thought and emotional pain.

"Why couldn't we have worked this out after graduation? Given it another chance?" I sighed softly at Frank's ideas.

"Because. I decided you were too good for me. At least, that was part of it."

"What's the other part of it?" My heart tugged then, there was no going lightly with this. I had to be straight forward. No option there.

"That Bert and I started seeing each other." I whispered. Frank's eyes widened and I felt his intense stare on me, making me bring my arms to wrap around me, making myself appear smaller. After a couple awkward minutes, he spoke up.

"When?"

"Around a month after you and I ended..." A heard Frank let out a deep breath. Multiple ones, actually.

"Are you happy with him?" I immediately smiled at Frank's concern. After all this time, ever since the start, he still wanted to look out for me.

"Definitely." Frank nodded to himself. I felt awful deep down. That feeling heightened when I saw tears escaping his eyes again.

"Oh, Frankie." I got up from my seat, taking both of our empty cups to the trash before briskly walking back to the table to check on him. But when I turned around he was already standing waiting for me, no sign he had been crying present on his face.

"It's one-thirty already. You've gotta board soon, right?" He asked me when I reached him. And he was right.

"Holy shit, yeah." The two of us walk in the direction of everybody else, all too soon reaching them. Frank hugs my mother when we arrive. It's heartwarming seeing them with a connection, still.

Ironically, an intercom lady speaks overhead that our flight needs to start boarding. All my friends giggle and chatter in excitement, hugging the few parents that drove us all here.

"Honey, come here." I turned to lay eyes on my adoring mother. I smile and walk over into her open arms, hugging her tightly. We exchange "I love you's" before breaking apart. "Just so you know, I'm happy for you and Bert. Believe me, I am. But I know about Frank." My face contorted in confusion. What the fuck did she mean?

"What?"

"I figured out Frank was your teacher when he came over for Christmas, dear. Now go." She patted me away to trot along behind my travel-mates, leaving me in total shock. I was standing in line, completely zoned out, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I snapped out of my reverie and was met with Frank.

"Did my mom really know you were my teacher?" I blurted out automatically. Frank laughed loudly at that and nodded.

"You know when she pulled me behind that one morning and I came into the living room kinda out of it? That's when she confronted me. It ended up alright, though."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because your mom wanted to be the one to tell you. Always follow a mother's wishes, dude." Frank nudged my shoulder, the line moving up significantly. "I... um, I wish you and Bert the best, okay?" I smiled painfully at Frank.

"You know I still care about you." Frank returned the sad smile.

"Ah, not in the way I wish it was." His voice was distant, depressed sounding, almost. I slowly lifted my free hand to stroke his face, his long locks weaving in between my fingers.

"...I still love you."

"But... like I said, not in the way I wish. Not the way it used to be. But... it-it's fine. He's better for you anyways, he's actually your age."

"Don't... not now." I beg quietly.

"I'm still in love you, Dove." My eyes dampened at the nickname.

"I forgot about that name." I whispered as slow tears trickled down my rounder face.

We were quiet as we looked at each other. Our eyes dancing back and forth. Until our lips met gently.

Our last kiss.

I broke apart slowly before walking up to check everything in. Then that was it. I was ready to go. I turned around to see Frank still there.

"See you around." My eyes are pained and he forced a smile. I felt a presence behind me and turned to see Bert. We shared a smile before linking hands and walking into the walkway that joined the huge building and the airplane we were boarding onto.

And then we were gone. The next installment of our lives were beginning as we were completely unaware of Frank Iero's entire world tumbling down into nothing.

-

The End


End file.
